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Vagina and Consequences

Loretta Lynn was singing about a different pill altogether.

Over on Married Man Sex Life, doucheblogger Athol Kay has provided the ladies with a helpful checklist of the things they need to do, or to be, or to do be do be do, to become the ultimate “red pill” girlfriend or wife. But the women he describes sound a lot less like Trinity from The Matrix than the robotified housewives from The Stepford Wives.

Mr. Kay’s list of demands is too long to quote in its entirety, but here are a few of the choicer items:

(4)  Understands that there is a sexual marketplace, and that women have an earlier peak of sexual desirability than men do.

Presumably if she forgets this, her manospherian swain will happily neg her back to a properly less-positive assessment of her rapidly decaying beauty as a woman over the age of 14.

(13)  Understands that divorce sucks and is more akin to getting treatment for cancer than having cosmetic surgery.

I sort of agree with this one, actually: for women married to Athol Kay’s followers, getting divorced would be a lot like removing a malignant tumor.

(14)  Likes men in a general sense for who they are and what they do, rather than detesting all men in general and making an exception for the tiny few in her nuclear family.

(Huh. Project much?)

(15)  Understands the risks both men and women take in having serious relationships, and is willing to negotiate ways to verify trustworthiness in each other. Sees doing this as evidence of true commitment rather than an insulting invasion of privacy.

I have no fucking idea what he’s talking about here. Lie detector tests? Waterboarding?

(20)  Doesn’t keep the Red Pill a secret from those that need it.

That’s what we need, more women lecturing women on how terrible they are.

I’ve saved the best for last:

(3)  Understands that what she does with her vagina always has some sort of consequence.

Seriously. Please think twice before tattooing Homer Simpson on you hoo-hah! (This has actually been done. You’ll have to look up the pictures yourself.)

In the comments, BlackCat adds a 21st item to the list:

(21) Understands that current society/public opinion, the vast majority of churches, and almost all laws, courts and government agencies dealing with families are all biased heavily against men, and that until the incentives and disincentives return to a more balanced state, men are completely justified in being gun-shy and avoiding commitment and other entanglements as much as possible.

Corollary to (21): Appreciates the men, especially informed (red pill) men, who are willing to take the chance at a relationship despite the above, and goes out of her way to prevent them from being taken advantage of, and to publicly denounce those who do take advantage of them.

So come on, gals, start lining up for your chance to jump through endless hoops for the chance to get with a dude who thinks he’s doing you a gigantic favor by even considering dating you in the first place!

While we’re at it, here’s my favorite scene from The Stepford Wives (the original 1975 version, of course), in which [SPOILER ALERT] Joanna, the new gal in Stepford, discovers that her friend Bobbie is no longer the free-spirited Women’s Libber she thought she knew.

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Nepenthe
Nepenthe
12 years ago

@aworld

Be careful about flatulence and wiping after having it.

IBS represent!

Pam
Pam
12 years ago

Perhaps using baby wipes in addition to regular toilet paper might help.

embyrr922
embyrr922
12 years ago

Understands that what she does with her vagina always has some sort of consequence.

So, if I dye my pubes magenta and name my vagina “Mr. Ernesto” the consequence of that would be… what, exactly? (My vagina can be a dude if I want, shut up.)

clairedammit
clairedammit
12 years ago

Aworld, you ninja’d me when I was replying to you. D’oh!

If you want to make sure you go first thing in the morning, try taking a calcium-magnesium supplement just before you go to bed ( but don’t overdo it and take the whole 100% RDA at once, trust me.) The magnesium not only eases defecation, but also might help you sleep better. Take a cal-mag, though, and not just a mag pill because they need to be consumed in a ratio of 2:1.

clairedammit
clairedammit
12 years ago

Embyrr922, thanks, that’s perfect!

LBT
LBT
12 years ago

RE: Falconer

Hey! No, haven’t even been lurking for the past couple of months. I don’t want to get into public details; suffice to say that our situation deteriorated from SNAFU to FUBAR, and we were in no condition to go a-Boobzing for a while. The important thing is, we managed to avoid homelessness (we’re living in a cupboard over the stairs–yes, like Harry Potter), our food is taken care of, and we’re recovering. We’re feeling a lot better, enough to return to the interblags, though obviously still not quite up to 100%

Enjoy your elfing! We’ve missed the place too.

Pam
Pam
12 years ago

Take a cal-mag, though, and not just a mag pill because they need to be consumed in a ratio of 2:1

Also, Vitamin D to help absorb the calcium well. I know that the main point was about taking the magnesium supplement, but I thought I’d throw that in about the calcium.

hellkell
hellkell
12 years ago

Aworld: don’t cheap out on the toilet paper. TP is one instance where you totally get what you pay for.

aworldanonymous
12 years ago

@Hellkell

We always bought the nicer toilet paper back home, though eating more fibre is probably a good idea, as should be eating much less poutine.

Phil
12 years ago

“””(15) Understands the risks both men and women take in having serious relationships, and is willing to negotiate ways to verify trustworthiness in each other. Sees doing this as evidence of true commitment rather than an insulting invasion of privacy.”””

“I have no fucking idea what he’s talking about here. Lie detector tests? Waterboarding?”

I think I can help you out here. I believe what Athol Kay is saying, is that when a man and a woman commit to each other they accept certain downsides. For one, there’s the opportunity cost: When you commit to one person, you shut yourself down to other options.

You’re also placing your trust in a person who can ruin you emotionally and in other ways.

Kay, I think, is trying to say that women (and by extension, men also) should have an attitude of openness. For instance, women shouldn’t see it as their prerogative to just go out and have lady’s nights every weekend when they’re in a serious relationship. A man asking her why she feels the need to do this shouldn’t be viewed as an invasion of privacy when, in reality, any person in a committed relationship who still tries to go out and act like they’re still single is cause for alarm in the first place.

In my relationship, it’s understood that neither of us will try and live out a single person’s lifestyle. It doesn’t take “enhanced interrogation” like waterboarding for this to be transparent, we just both made our expectations clear and we live by those expectations. If I plan on doing something that irks my woman, she tells me and I assess whether I’m pushing the boundaries and adjust accordingly and she does the same. That was a pretty clinical way of putting it, but I think you get what I mean.

On the other hand, some people might view this as “intrusive” and be like, “Why does s/he care so much what I do? S/he doesn’t own me!” If that’s what Kay is talking about, then I agree. This is committed relationship 101 stuff here, as far as I’m concerned.

thebewilderness
12 years ago

That seems like a pretty accurate list of the behaviors and attitudes abusers expect from their target of choice. Particularly the bit about women being meat offered for sale at the sexual marketplace and this :

(15) Understands the risks both men and women take in having serious relationships, and is willing to negotiate ways to verify trustworthiness in each other. Sees doing this as evidence of true commitment rather than an insulting invasion of privacy.

That negotiation usually consists of a woman agreeing to her activities being monitored and interrogated daily with an expectation to be raged at if she does not respond rapidly enough to his constant text checks and his activities are whatever he says they are and must never be questioned.

I had not heard the past relationships one, except for jealousy issues, until a few months ago when an abuser started going into nightly rages while watching teevee over his partner having had a romantic relationship with a woman when she was a teen. He would start by asking if she found the woman on the teevee attractive and whatever the answer the rage was on.
She escaped him shortly thereafter.

Phil
12 years ago

“So come on, gals, start lining up for your chance to jump through endless hoops for the chance to get with a dude who thinks he’s doing you a gigantic favor by even considering dating you in the first place!”

I take it, Dave, that you’re not in a committed relationship. Yes, there are hoops to jump through. Just like there’s hoops to jump through in friendships, and when you work for someone, or when you work for yourself for that matter. Life (and if you want to get philosophical about it: all of society) is about give and take. And frankly, if you consider being considerate and empathetic in a relationship to be equivalent to “jumping through endless hoops”, then your attitude is about as bad as any MRA’s.

Phil
12 years ago

“That negotiation usually consists of a woman agreeing to her activities being monitored and interrogated daily with an expectation to be raged at if she does not respond rapidly enough to his constant text checks and his activities are whatever he says they are and must never be questioned. ”

This is all totally true, if you live a frightened existence expecting everyone around you to treat you horribly.

So because Athol Kay didn’t write in a bunch of fine print about making exceptions for abusive men, that invalidates his whole point? I think his advice is meant for otherwise functional relationships, obviously dysfunctional relationships are a different story.

ShadetheDruid
ShadetheDruid
12 years ago

TP is one instance where you totally get what you pay for. – hellkell

That’s soooo true. >.< Unless you have an arse made of steel, the really poor quality stuff is only like one step up from sandpaper (and that's not even getting into breakage issues).

aworldanonymous
12 years ago

In other news I’m the only sober person in the dorm again, and I’m rather jealous of all of the fun everyone else is having.

Nobinayamu
Nobinayamu
12 years ago

I take it, Dave, that you’re not in a committed relationship. Yes, there are hoops to jump through. Just like there’s hoops to jump through in friendships…

Bullshit. I’m engaged to be married – no hoops. I’m fortunate enough to have a wide circle of friends – no hoops. Hoops for work? Sometimes, sure, there certainly can be. But my voluntary friendships and romantic relationship do not involve hoops.

I’m not considerate of my man because he holds out a bunch of hoops. I love him and we’re tremendously compatible. No hoops required.

And he has no problem with me going out with my friends because he’s confident enough not to view such activities as me acting like I’m single. He recognizes it for what it is: me spending time with my friends. As you do.

And I feel the same way about his time with his friends.

No hoops.

LBT
LBT
12 years ago

RE: Phil

I actually don’t see having weekends to yourself that unreasonable. O_o Then again, I guess maybe if the two of you work full-time, it’d be understandable. In my case, I try to ENCOURAGE my husband to have time to himself, just because we tend to veer too much the other way.

But yeah, do explain the sexual peak thing.

thebewilderness
12 years ago

Phil, It is silly to pretend that the abuser lobby gives advice and encouragement to anyone but fellow abusers. No decent human being would get past item #1 without stopping for a WTF.

thebewilderness
12 years ago

I beg your pardon, I meant item #4

aworldanonymous
12 years ago

@freitag
While that may be true, I still feel as if I’m the only introvert in a world full of extroverted people, and it’s making me want to hang myself, I’ve even gotten as far as pegging down a nice brand of rope to go out and buy 20 feet of next time I have the chance.

Tulgey Logger
Tulgey Logger
12 years ago

#4 is pretty much just “women must understand their declining value to others relative to your own.” Sounds like abuser logic 101 to me.