Over on Married Man Sex Life, doucheblogger Athol Kay has provided the ladies with a helpful checklist of the things they need to do, or to be, or to do be do be do, to become the ultimate “red pill” girlfriend or wife. But the women he describes sound a lot less like Trinity from The Matrix than the robotified housewives from The Stepford Wives.
Mr. Kay’s list of demands is too long to quote in its entirety, but here are a few of the choicer items:
(4) Understands that there is a sexual marketplace, and that women have an earlier peak of sexual desirability than men do.
Presumably if she forgets this, her manospherian swain will happily neg her back to a properly less-positive assessment of her rapidly decaying beauty as a woman over the age of 14.
(13) Understands that divorce sucks and is more akin to getting treatment for cancer than having cosmetic surgery.
I sort of agree with this one, actually: for women married to Athol Kay’s followers, getting divorced would be a lot like removing a malignant tumor.
(14) Likes men in a general sense for who they are and what they do, rather than detesting all men in general and making an exception for the tiny few in her nuclear family.
(Huh. Project much?)
(15) Understands the risks both men and women take in having serious relationships, and is willing to negotiate ways to verify trustworthiness in each other. Sees doing this as evidence of true commitment rather than an insulting invasion of privacy.
I have no fucking idea what he’s talking about here. Lie detector tests? Waterboarding?
(20) Doesn’t keep the Red Pill a secret from those that need it.
That’s what we need, more women lecturing women on how terrible they are.
I’ve saved the best for last:
(3) Understands that what she does with her vagina always has some sort of consequence.
Seriously. Please think twice before tattooing Homer Simpson on you hoo-hah! (This has actually been done. You’ll have to look up the pictures yourself.)
In the comments, BlackCat adds a 21st item to the list:
(21) Understands that current society/public opinion, the vast majority of churches, and almost all laws, courts and government agencies dealing with families are all biased heavily against men, and that until the incentives and disincentives return to a more balanced state, men are completely justified in being gun-shy and avoiding commitment and other entanglements as much as possible.
Corollary to (21): Appreciates the men, especially informed (red pill) men, who are willing to take the chance at a relationship despite the above, and goes out of her way to prevent them from being taken advantage of, and to publicly denounce those who do take advantage of them.
So come on, gals, start lining up for your chance to jump through endless hoops for the chance to get with a dude who thinks he’s doing you a gigantic favor by even considering dating you in the first place!
While we’re at it, here’s my favorite scene from The Stepford Wives (the original 1975 version, of course), in which [SPOILER ALERT] Joanna, the new gal in Stepford, discovers that her friend Bobbie is no longer the free-spirited Women’s Libber she thought she knew.
As far as I can tell the whole “Red Pill” thing refers to living in reality and seeing past the “feminist lies” allegedly spread by the media. If that’s the case, it’s ironic that “Red Pill Woman” seems so closely modelled on Hollywood stereotypes- of course even The Stepford Wife herself was born in Hollywood. Then again, who can blame the Red Pill men when Hollywood has so often used the formula ‘Girl rejects Boy-> Boy thinks “I’ll show her” and does something heroic-> Boy wins over Girl when she then realises how “ungrateful” she has been (or Boy snubs Girl in favour of a more “high-status” one, attracted by his heroism)’? As Hollywood has so often informed the self-proclaimed Nice Guy that he *deserves* to win the girl, is it any wonder than so many of them like to cling to this fairytale?
A male version of this list could be Neil Innes’s song “I’m The Urban Spaceman”. It’s essentially a big list of reasons why the singer is an impossibly ideal man (among other things, he can fly), but with one major difference: the lyrics end with the disclaimer “I don’t exist”. In the comments on Kay’s article you can see men wondering why they never meet any women like the ones described by Kay, but instead of considering the possibility that this is because Kay just invented her, they’re choosing to see this as a failure on the part of women.
In short: they seem to be wondering aloud “why isn’t life more like the movies?”. To be fair to them, can we really expect any better from a group who have had so much of their thinking informed by a Hollywood science fiction film?
Can we expect people to not support rapists and child abusers, regardless of the messages they received from society? Yes.
Media is hella racist as well, but we still expect people to grow up and not support racist hate groups.
Ugh- admittedly I was being a bit flippant there, I should have added: I was inspired to reply by lowquacks’ excellent comment on Christina Hendricks. I’m often reminded of Mad Men when reading about MRAs- I’m a big fan of the show and while I suspect most of us fans recognise it as a refreshing portrayal of the 1960s as The Bad Old Days, I’m starting to think a minority of fans might see it as a celebration of those less enlightened times and would like to return to a world where men could get away with abusing women and minorities.
I find the MRAs’ obsession with The Matrix baffling and more than a little childish. The Red Pill/Blue Pill metaphor isn’t even a very strong one as the truth/reality idea could be applied to any group conspiracy theorists- and of course this makes the MRAs look even more like crackpots, but that’s a whole other discussion…
I guess the MRAs extreme (and warped) interpretation of The Matrix could possibly be compared to Mark Chapman’s own interpretation of The Catcher In The Rye, Timothy McVeigh’s thoughts on Star Wars, or people who read The Dice Man and then tried living The Dice Life themselves. Most people can enjoy fiction as a bit of harmless escapism, perhaps a dangerous minority simply can’t. I’m just throwing out some ideas here- I personally have no idea what makes certainly people more suggestible, like MRAs swallowing everything they read on these crackpots’ blogs, but it would certainly be interesting to find out.
As for your points Ugh, I suspect racism in the media influences people to a worryingly great extent- certainly here in the UK, where anti-immigration propaganda has led to immigrants becoming a scapegoat for all of the UK’s problems. We can (and should) expect people not to be influenced but sadly they often disappoint us- again, it would be good to look at suggestibility here.
Yeah, I don’t know. We currently have access to a wider variety of media than ever before. The media that a person chooses to consume is a choice, as is their interpretations. If there was a movie out there that said “Ugh, you specifically are the most oppressed person in the world and you can only fix that by advocating for rapists” , I still wouldn’t listen to it. I would just go watch Dr. Who.
I think that’s the thing with MRAs too. The Matrix is not about gender issues, or really about anything resembling real life issues as we are not actually the power sources of squid robots. However, it doesn’t matter what media these people view, they will always find an interpretation of it that is hateful, because they are hateful. By the same token, it doesn’t matter what changes are made to the world’s media, they will always seek out any interpretation that can justify their hatred. If the only two movies in the world were Wall-E and Up we’d still have MRAs and other hateful bigots.
I mean, possibly, but anti-foreigner sentiment vastly precedes mass literacy or mass media exposure of any kind. British corporations were slaughtering people in India for profit in a time when only 5% of the population could even read, and British people cared even less about it then.
I would like to see more liberal media, but it feels wrong to reduce good and evil to media indoctrination when it’s a much older and deeper struggle.
If having me were inconvenient to my parents, I wouldn’t exist. If I didn’t exist, I wouldn’t have been capable of regret not existing, or being asked whether or not I would like to exist — would I?
So, what are you saying exactly? You want to ban abortion “because babyz”, or you want to ban abortion because you would like to use unwanted children as a form of punishment against girls who have the temerity to have sex?
What exactly is “careless, stupid, and destructive behavior”? As a man who apparently doesn’t think the sperm donor carries any responsibility for an unwanted pregnancy, I really would like to know.
I grew up in a country where married women routinely had multiple abortions, even when the procedure was illegal. Why? Because it would have been unthinkable to require a married man to wear a condom, and a beating-worthy offense to withhold sex. Pills were unavailable, and culturally, married women were expected to “take care of” unwanted pregnancy by whatever means necessary, up to and including abortion. Is that what you call “careless, stupid, and destructive behavior”? Because it’s funny how my dad (who is somewhere to the right of Rush Limbaugh) loves to say crap like that, even though I clearly remember him pressuring my mother into having an abortion on at least three separate occasions. Apparently, in the minds of people like you, it’s not “careless, stupid and destructive behavior” for men to take absolutely no precautions against pregnancy and to expect women to abort for the sake of men’s convenience. But never their own.
Because abortion is a medical procedure, and other people’s medical procedures are none of your goddamned business. Do you have your medical records posted online?
Speak for yourself.
Hey Jabba the Fut, the difference between your blog and Athol’s is that his actually helps people. Countless men have escaped divorce rape by preventing the descent of their wives into eatpraylove unhaaaaaapiness.
And while Athol Kay is saving marriages by encouraging men to embrace the take-charge gender role that well-adjusted women desire, you sit there mocking your betters as comfort food grease dribbles down your chins.
Calling Jen a Stepford Wife is just idiotic, but that’s the sort of obliviousness one comes to expect from a mammaried mangina (“durr man boobz doesn’t refer to me even though my nipples make an infinity symbol when I run!”).
Reality check: Athol and Jen are happily married and helping others strengthen their relationships while you’re most likely sodomizing your kittens. Now go back to counting reddit upvotes or whatever your useless ass was doing.
@Truther
The primary difference is that Athol is part of a hate movement, and David is not.
Oh, man, we’ve really reached the bottom barrel of arguments now. “You’re wrong because FAAAAAAT”. Are all the trolls here 12 years old or something?
And I love how these guys just think that “eatpraylove unhappiness” just happens out of the blue, in a vacuum. Like one day, the wife just up and decides to leave a perfectly nice marriage where she is happy and he is happy, JUST BECAUSE. These guys really can’t conceive of anything they might have done to drive her away or kill the marriage. They can’t even comprehend a situation where people just grow apart perhaps. No it is always ALL HER FAULT because she decides to up and leave. For no raisin.
Also, it’s pretty hilarious that you all think that fatshaming will somehow prove that you aren’t hateful assholes. Keep digging that hole.
Married Man Sex Life is ‘hate’ now?
You’re turning into the Right’s strawman of the Left.
Nope, I said it is part of a hate movement: the MRM. Since about 99% of “red pill knowledge” in general is rape and abuser apologism, I feel pretty comfortable lableing anyone who’s into it hateful.
You realize that this is about abuse and control, right?
Doubleplus Dave isn’t wrong because he’s morbidly obese. He just happens to be both.
On the contrary, MMSL describes the process of “growing apart” in great detail and gives clear instructions on how to reverse the trend.
Yes, I love how a group of men who believe that they get to determine what are “serious marital issues” which means they can disregard any opinions “their women” have as nagging, PMS, or bitchiness are so stunned when finally their wives up and leave them.
Oh, and athol isn’t advocating for an end to divorce, so long as manly men can use it as a way to ensure compliant women and lots of the kind of sex the manly men want.
Only in femspeak does accountability mean abuse and control.
Turns out advocating for the rights of men looks a lot like minimizing rape and policing men’s bodies. Stay classy, MRM.
Man, I went over to MMSL and it is a hilarious collection of nonsense and petty manipulation.
He has an entire post about how to subtly hin to your wife that a pretty girl is giving you baked goods in order to make her feel insecure and want to please you more.
Like, I’m not sure if this is a dating blog or a tutorial for a hentai mod of Harvest Moon.
Yes, and his clear instructions include being able to read through or overhear any conversations his wife is having, being able to determine that an issue isn’t an issue regardless of what his wife thinks or if she doesn’t ask in precisely the right way sweetly enough. It includes, being able to tell her that she isn’t all that and if he doesn’t like how she ages there’s lots of other women.
Only in nonsensical rambings does “accountability” mean “shaming the person you claim to love for things that are none of your business in order to score Argument Points.”
“Yes, I love how a group of men who believe that they get to determine what are “serious marital issues” which means they can disregard any opinions “their women” have as nagging, PMS, or bitchiness are so stunned when finally their wives up and leave them.”
What I find most amusing is the way men who complain about “angry, hate-filled and embittered feminists” always seem to be infinitely more angry, hate-filled and embittered than any feminists I’ve actually met.
“Clear instructions”? Dude, sometimes people grow apart. There’s no cheat code for that shit. I’m sure that makes me an Ebil Feminist, but I’m not invested in saving Marriage at all costs. I’m invested in people, men and women, finding happiness in this life the best they can. We only get one go-round on this earth and I’ll be damned if I’m going to spend my life trying to make it work at all costs with someone who makes me miserable. My grandparents and in-laws are both doing that and I do not envy them one bit.
I say this as a child of divorce whose parents have each found better partners since, and also as someone who is very happily married myself.
God, can you imagine how exhausting it would be to live like this? Like, you’re seriously going to measure everything you do and say to see how it will impact your character sheet?
I’m not suprised that MRAs never actually manage to get anything done in the real world. I’d be beat after a single day of this bullshit.
@Tosca
Clear instructions: like turning every baked good you purchase into a manipulation game. There’s a solution to longterm marital happiness!
Haha oh man this part is the best:
Athol’s post on “Men and Women Can’t be Friends”
“My sociopathic need to see the world exclusively in terms of sexual conquest must be shared by all men, right? Right?”