Over on Married Man Sex Life, doucheblogger Athol Kay has provided the ladies with a helpful checklist of the things they need to do, or to be, or to do be do be do, to become the ultimate “red pill” girlfriend or wife. But the women he describes sound a lot less like Trinity from The Matrix than the robotified housewives from The Stepford Wives.
Mr. Kay’s list of demands is too long to quote in its entirety, but here are a few of the choicer items:
(4) Understands that there is a sexual marketplace, and that women have an earlier peak of sexual desirability than men do.
Presumably if she forgets this, her manospherian swain will happily neg her back to a properly less-positive assessment of her rapidly decaying beauty as a woman over the age of 14.
(13) Understands that divorce sucks and is more akin to getting treatment for cancer than having cosmetic surgery.
I sort of agree with this one, actually: for women married to Athol Kay’s followers, getting divorced would be a lot like removing a malignant tumor.
(14) Likes men in a general sense for who they are and what they do, rather than detesting all men in general and making an exception for the tiny few in her nuclear family.
(Huh. Project much?)
(15) Understands the risks both men and women take in having serious relationships, and is willing to negotiate ways to verify trustworthiness in each other. Sees doing this as evidence of true commitment rather than an insulting invasion of privacy.
I have no fucking idea what he’s talking about here. Lie detector tests? Waterboarding?
(20) Doesn’t keep the Red Pill a secret from those that need it.
That’s what we need, more women lecturing women on how terrible they are.
I’ve saved the best for last:
(3) Understands that what she does with her vagina always has some sort of consequence.
Seriously. Please think twice before tattooing Homer Simpson on you hoo-hah! (This has actually been done. You’ll have to look up the pictures yourself.)
In the comments, BlackCat adds a 21st item to the list:
(21) Understands that current society/public opinion, the vast majority of churches, and almost all laws, courts and government agencies dealing with families are all biased heavily against men, and that until the incentives and disincentives return to a more balanced state, men are completely justified in being gun-shy and avoiding commitment and other entanglements as much as possible.
Corollary to (21): Appreciates the men, especially informed (red pill) men, who are willing to take the chance at a relationship despite the above, and goes out of her way to prevent them from being taken advantage of, and to publicly denounce those who do take advantage of them.
So come on, gals, start lining up for your chance to jump through endless hoops for the chance to get with a dude who thinks he’s doing you a gigantic favor by even considering dating you in the first place!
While we’re at it, here’s my favorite scene from The Stepford Wives (the original 1975 version, of course), in which [SPOILER ALERT] Joanna, the new gal in Stepford, discovers that her friend Bobbie is no longer the free-spirited Women’s Libber she thought she knew.
The manosphere loves to deride the Carrie Bradshaw/Mr. Big relationship, because in real life men NEVER EVER marry women over forty. Um, turn on any of the Housewives shows, open a tabloid, or walk down the friggin street and you will see women over 40 who are not only still attractive, but (GASP) partnered with men who are also attractive. MRAs must live in an alternate universe. You know, the one where men never marry women over 40, and 80% of men are incel because women only screw the 20% of men who are alphas. How can they seriously believe this shit?
Willful self-deception? Extreme stupidity?
@Creative Writing Student
My apologies for revealing the existence of it, I can’t bring myself to hate all of reddit, but the fact that this stuff is tolerated, nay encouraged makes me sick.
“When you are out in public while female, you must meet the above expectations and expect censure if you fail, and we are trained from birth to believe if we are censured the failure is our fault, not the fault of random asshole on the street for demanding I smile for him, etc.”
I HATE this. My mouth naturally dips down at the corners, and people are always thinking I’m frowning. I swear I’m going to have to get some juvederm injected so people stop thinking I’m pissed off all the time.
No one EVER tells a man to smile.
I wonder how that lot would cope with being reminded of Edward VIII and Wallis Simpson. Both over forty, she was not conventionally beautiful by any means, but he was madly in love with her and by all accounts stayed that way. And being King-Emperor must make you about as alpha as you can get, regardless of personal qualities.
What’s even weirder is that the woman who seems to have become the offical mascot of How Real Retro American Women Should Be/Hottest Woman Ever, Christina Hendricks, is twelve years above the biotruth cut-off point for being hot, three years away from being one of those disgusting 40-year-olds, and actually on the lower end of the age range for “old enough to be my mother or the mother of other legal adults”.
This doesn’t make the rhetoric any less disgusting, it’s just an incredibly obvious counterexample which never seems to come up.
Rachel Maddow is decent, but if I was going to dip into the lady pond, it would be with Leisha Hailey.
http://feministing.com/2011/09/27/the-l-words-leisha-hailey-kicked-off-of-southwest-flight-for-kissing-girlfriend/
I always thought Kate Winslett or Emma Thompson or Helen Mirren would tempt me greatly, but I’ve gone right of liking Helen Mirren after her rape comments.
Wallis Simpson is rumored to have learned some exotic sexual technique while traveling in China. This technique was enough to ensnare the Prince for life. I’ve also heard that he was a foot fetishist and Wallis indulged him.
Yeah, that was a rumour put about by the press and various others who couldn’t abide her.
Also name me a film or TV program where the reverse is the case. I thought really hard and could think of one. Shallow Hal. Where Jack Black falls in love with the fat girl because he ends up falling in love with her personality.
In sitcoms, when the rare bankable female gets the show, the straightman role suddenly doesn’t need to be hot. Roseanne had John Goodman (no complaints here, that guy was funny) and Grace from Grace Under Fire (remember that show?) didn’t even have a male partner, her straight man was doofy Russel the pharmacist. Those are the only women I can think of whose sitcoms followed the ‘Famous comedian gets own show’ formula that form most of the schlub with the hot wife shows. There’s no one comparable to Jack Black – how many women churn out entire feature films because they’re so popular 18-35 year olds will sit through whatever they crap out? Who is the lady Adam Sandler?
I happen to find the schlub with hot wife formula rather boring, but it’s not misandry, it’s laziness on the part of the producers. Usually the stand-up that made the guy famous in the first place has to be waaay toned down for television, and then they surround the guy with a bunch of bland, unmemorable costars: wife, check, hire the hot one. Kids, check, hire whoever. Annoying neighbor/coworker/inlaw: check, hire the goofy looking guy. All the shows look the same and none of them are that funny. A female lead can’t cut-and-paste that formula without tweaking it a bit, fortunately for us and them. Roseanne and Grace Under Fire were good because a female lead gets to cast stronger supporting cast – no one clutches their pearls when a leading lady is briefly eclipsed by her coworkers – and that makes the whole show better. Roseanne ran for years and Grace mostly imploded because she was insanely difficult to work with, what with all the substance abuse. Tina Fey just packed 30 Rock with recognizable names with big personalities and the result is awesome.
Well, I’m off for another day of knitting (eleven days to get a jumper knitted for a birthday present – ouch!). Enjoy your days/evenings, all!
Yes, I remember that show and I really liked it. Brett Butler came to Joplin last year to do a free stand up comedy show with Yakov Smirnoff, David Koechner, and Michael Jr. I could have gotten free tickets, but it’s hard to go to shows with small children so I watched it on PBS instead. I’m sad for Brett Butler having problems with substance abuse, because she seems like a really good person to be willing to come and do a fundraiser for us last summer.
aworldanonymous: Am I one of the only guys in the world who isn’t paranoid that any girlfriend I find myself with is going to cheat on me, have a baby with another man, and then expect me to pay child support?
No, that is the internet. Most guys are pretty good about boundaries. Not perfect (and the culture tells them to be less respectful than they ought, and less respectful than most are), but worlds better than the MRM would make one think.
@Aworldanonymous
Dw about posting it, this stuff needs to be exposed. Similar stuff was probably on Reddit already, I just can’t believe they’re being so brazen about it.
@Fembot – I have the same problem, my mouth naturally turns down at the corners so I look grumpy all the time unless I am either smiling over something, or I consciously think about moving the muscles. Which is 1) tiring and b) not important enough to bother doing. But I’ve gotten a shitton of random strangers, including women, demanding that I look more pleasant.
I got so fed up I just started telling anyone who said that to me, “My dog just died.” Mostly to punish them with guilt for the body policing and hopefully make them think next time.
@embyrr922
You know those women who you’re uncomfortable around because they wear makeup and dresses and stuff, and that makes you feel like they’re pressuring you into doing the same? I’m one of them. There are others right here on this blog full of people smart politically inclined feminist people who you’re empathizing with.
The reason I’m pointing this out is that it feels like you might be falling into the social trap of judging women who look femmey as dumb/shallow/bitchy, which many cultures encourage people to do. As many people have pointed out, that’s yet another way in which society is set up to pit women against each other. Divide and conquer – I wish it didn’t work as well as it often does. I get what you’re saying about feeling more internal pressure when you’re surrounded by people who look like what you think the culture wants you to look like, but the thing is, often it’s not those actual women who’re putting that pressure on you. If avoiding them makes you more comfortable then sure, you can do that, but watch out for the mental trap of assuming that the reason you feel that pressure is because of something they’re doing, because often it’s not.
(I’ve gone through this exact conversation before with friends who present in a less feminine way. Can you tell?)
@Historophilia
You missed the incidents during which one of our former trolls argued that only having one, really hot, woman in a movie is a sign of female privilege. Fun times, that was.
Well said, CassandraSays.
@CassandraSays
There was a post making the rounds of tumblr a few months ago that was just fantastic on saying a similar thing to dudes who do the same “I don’t like femme women” and/or think feminism is about getting blowjobs from alternative qt’s for not being anti-abortion or w/e. Original’s deleted, but this is just about the coolest thing that tumblr’s churned out in a while:
plus no-caps swag
lowquacks: to what you quoted, I say, “right the fuck on.”
Ugh, those guys. I fucking hate those guys. A few years back I worked with an intern who one day when we were all out at lunch looked at my shoes (Manolos, 4 inch heels), sighed, and said “I don’t understand why girls feel like they have to wear shoes like that”.
First of all, kiddo, if you’re going to pretend to be all sensitive and woman-friendly you can start by not referring to women who’re technically old enough to be your mother as “girls”. Secondly, don’t talk down to the editorial staff, they can get you fired. Thirdly, you are so lucky that those evil oppressive heels didn’t end up being used to kick your clueless little ass.
Hmm… Can’t say I ever heard the authentic line, even in my dress to the nines runway model fashion days. Then again, being short always put me in the doll like catagory, erm, until I opened my mouth. Then depending on the guys tastes I was either “sassy” or a mouthy little bitch.
Happily, I’ve approached the time of life where I’m “m’am” to a significant portion of the male population. And its a world of difference in a good way. Hell, even among women who saw me as childlike.
@CassandraSays
I wonder what the aim behind saying that is. Were you meant to hear that and instantly think “wow, I don’t have to wear these! I’d never thought of that before! Thank you, feminist Jesus!” or something?
You can just tell people with really fierce shoes that you really dig their fierce shoes or whatever, you know. Besides, I’m a dude who usually wears Cuban-heeled RM Williams boots and lusts after YSL’s three-inch-heeled Jonny Boot*, both of which are way more workable than most Manolos comfort-wise on the extreme end of “normal” dudely footwear, all this without evil anti-feminist gender indoctrination to do so. I wonder how that dude’d explain me?
*They’re kinda flimsy and ’70s-Italian-looking, though. RMs have ruined me on flimsiness. Anello & Davide’s Baba boot, as worn by prettymuch every pop star in the ’60s, was also available in a daringly thin 3-inch heel but the modern repros are dodgy looking glued-together two-inch versions made for Beatles cover groups which are still outrageously expensive 🙁
aworldanonymous:
Virtual hugs, if they’re welcome!
Like many on this forum (I’ve spent many a happy Friday night socializing online!), I had similar experiences in college. Am shy, introverted, possibly on asperger’s spectrum (nearly 57, I only heard about it a few years ago when my mother sent me the articles with red circles all over them and a yellow post it saying :OMGTHISISYOU).
Anyway: i started college at 17. I didn’t drink. Had resisted all through high school (basic contrariness I suspect), but I met a woman (standing in class registration lines). We were in three classes together–I adored her.
She didn’t want a friend who didn’t drink.
I started drinking.
It was helped by the fact that my dad ran off with his grad student halfway through my freshman year–and my biochemical cyclical depression wasn’t diagnosed for some years. But I can say: drinking to fit in OMG no. I dropped out my second semester –and was about to go be a barmaid in Montana with my friend when my mom called about the
I spent the next couple of years alternating between studying like crazy and getting 4.0s and not drinking, or drinking and dropping out (I tend to um go to extremes in whatever I do).
The hangovers really sucked (so did throwing up on people a time or two) (and some of the unwise sexual decisions), and I realized with a horrifying thud at one point that I was not writing, and hardly reading at all.
That was the wake up call (OK, and passing out at the wheel one night after lots of tequila, and running over a shrub–which in all truth scared the shit out of me: I could have killed someone. I could have killed myself. I could have killed others and myself.)
It took a while, and a summer of sober thinking (and thinking of suicide) to get myself back on track. It wasn’t easy, and I relapsed a time or two.
But: I can tell you the same thing others are. Do what you have fun doing.
Seek out the clubs and geeks and such (my science fiction group I advise meets in my buildings lounge every Friday night for snacks and sodas, game playing of all sorts, rowdy talking, sometimes some dancing right in the lounge, and as far as I can tell none of them drink or even seem to want to, and OMG I love them all, and they’re so cool, and I hang out with them until about 7).
And another tip: if you can stand it (I think others mentioned this). Volunteer. If you had a job to do, you don’t have to sit around feeling uncomfortable because you cannot talk to anybody, and they are all having fun, and you’re not and OMG (I have spasms of that feeling even now, but I know it’s false, temporary,and will go away–and if often means I’m too tired and just have to get away and recharge).
But groups are chronolically undervolunteered, and working with people gives you something to talk about at least, and then it can develop even more.
Good luck with the new dorms.
That is a good idea.
Given my age bracket, I hear all the time about how girls who fake tan/wear fake nails/do things with their eyebrows/participate in a different and generally less class-privileged subculture than whoever is talking etc aren’t real, man. Snooki is an often-used example. Strangely, I don’t hear about how men who do these things aren’t real, man.