Over on Married Man Sex Life, doucheblogger Athol Kay has provided the ladies with a helpful checklist of the things they need to do, or to be, or to do be do be do, to become the ultimate “red pill” girlfriend or wife. But the women he describes sound a lot less like Trinity from The Matrix than the robotified housewives from The Stepford Wives.
Mr. Kay’s list of demands is too long to quote in its entirety, but here are a few of the choicer items:
(4) Understands that there is a sexual marketplace, and that women have an earlier peak of sexual desirability than men do.
Presumably if she forgets this, her manospherian swain will happily neg her back to a properly less-positive assessment of her rapidly decaying beauty as a woman over the age of 14.
(13) Understands that divorce sucks and is more akin to getting treatment for cancer than having cosmetic surgery.
I sort of agree with this one, actually: for women married to Athol Kay’s followers, getting divorced would be a lot like removing a malignant tumor.
(14) Likes men in a general sense for who they are and what they do, rather than detesting all men in general and making an exception for the tiny few in her nuclear family.
(Huh. Project much?)
(15) Understands the risks both men and women take in having serious relationships, and is willing to negotiate ways to verify trustworthiness in each other. Sees doing this as evidence of true commitment rather than an insulting invasion of privacy.
I have no fucking idea what he’s talking about here. Lie detector tests? Waterboarding?
(20) Doesn’t keep the Red Pill a secret from those that need it.
That’s what we need, more women lecturing women on how terrible they are.
I’ve saved the best for last:
(3) Understands that what she does with her vagina always has some sort of consequence.
Seriously. Please think twice before tattooing Homer Simpson on you hoo-hah! (This has actually been done. You’ll have to look up the pictures yourself.)
In the comments, BlackCat adds a 21st item to the list:
(21) Understands that current society/public opinion, the vast majority of churches, and almost all laws, courts and government agencies dealing with families are all biased heavily against men, and that until the incentives and disincentives return to a more balanced state, men are completely justified in being gun-shy and avoiding commitment and other entanglements as much as possible.
Corollary to (21): Appreciates the men, especially informed (red pill) men, who are willing to take the chance at a relationship despite the above, and goes out of her way to prevent them from being taken advantage of, and to publicly denounce those who do take advantage of them.
So come on, gals, start lining up for your chance to jump through endless hoops for the chance to get with a dude who thinks he’s doing you a gigantic favor by even considering dating you in the first place!
While we’re at it, here’s my favorite scene from The Stepford Wives (the original 1975 version, of course), in which [SPOILER ALERT] Joanna, the new gal in Stepford, discovers that her friend Bobbie is no longer the free-spirited Women’s Libber she thought she knew.
@Creative Writing Student, WRT sticking dicks in degrees…
How am I supposed to get all this tea off my keyboard and monitor?
(still snickering)
@thebionicmommy
Very much hearing you on the making historical characters who were normal looking super hot and groomed.
And on the fat guys with hot wives trope, you see that coupling a lot, particularly in sitcoms and cartoons and just generally it’s very common to see a relatively unattractive male lead paired with a super hot wife. Usually because he is the lead and is therefore a bankable male actor like Tom Hanks but his wife is just a side part and so only needs to be hot.
Also name me a film or TV program where the reverse is the case. I thought really hard and could think of one. Shallow Hal. Where Jack Black falls in love with the fat girl because he ends up falling in love with her personality.
However that doesn’t even count because Jack Black isn’t exactly eye candy himself (another example of a bankable male lead star who is not conventionally attractive, and is overweight) and the girl is played by a hot skinny blonde for most of the film (due to a spell which has been cast on him which makes him see “inner beauty” as physical beauty) and is only shown as her real overweight self briefly at the end and from behind.
@freitag
If that’s a genuine question, after many occasions when I spilled tea on keyboards I worked out the way to clean tea from between the keys was to twist tissue paper up into a point and push the point between the keys to soak up the tea.
I have it down to a fine art which probably says a lot about a) How much tea I drink b) How much time I spend on the computer and c) my predisposition to spill things
@frietag
I actually have some experience in this! Blot the keyboard, then turn it upside-down resting on absorbant paper towels.
My partner likes to drink tea at the computer and also ruined three keyboards by spilling food in them… in the last four years… well done, Noodles.
Glad I made you laugh! 🙂
Oh yeah, cotton buds can help with the blotting phase.
He also spilled tea on my keyboard once but it was the famed ‘bubble-wrap keyboard’ that was designed to be used in messy environs (horrible to type on though).
Thanks for the advice. I really should know better than to take a big mouthful of anything before reading something that is routinely very witty! (historical note: it used to be proper netiquette to post a “C&C” warning on funny stuff, meaning “coffee and cats.” It referred to accidentally spitting hot coffee on comfortable cat-in-lap, frequently resulting in soggy kitty evacuating lap claws-first.) I have no excuse!
I don’t know if this would count or not, but the movie Sex and the City has Carrie, played by Sarah Jessica Parker, marry Mr. Big, played by Chris Noth. That’s debatable, too, if Sarah Jessica Parker wouldn’t be considered hot by Hollywood standards, (which are ridiculously high).
Roseanne wouldn’t be an inversion of the fat guy/hot wife trope either, because John Goodman isn’t conventionally handsome himself. I’m really racking my brain, and I can’t think of any good examples either.
Hey, sorry to double post, but I just came up with one example I think fits the trope. Blossom’s boyfriend was very handsome on the TV show, while she wasn’t conventionally beautiful. I watched that show all the time, because I had a big crush on Joey Lawrence, who played her brother.
Not to mention the trend of shaming women who don’t weigh enough. Give celebrity ladies eating disorders, then shame them when they look like skeletons. And shame them if they’re naturally thin, too! Hurray!
And god forbid she gain five pounds. IS THAT A BABY BUMP (big orange circle and arrow)???
Urgh. I’m so glad I’m not a celebrity. I just had my boobs shoot up a couple cups for no good reason (all those reasons people give for boob growth did not apply) and I seriously looked like I got small implants. They were hard (and sore) and inflated. (Fortunately they are deflating. Slowly.) Anyway, if I were a celebrity? (Big orange circle and arrow) IMPLANTS??
I like the way Sarah Jessica Parker looks. She might not be OMGWTFBBQHAWT but she looks like an actual person rather than a creepy clone.
I have speakers now, and am enjoying daft punk, and hoping everyone else is too.
Oh geez, food and drink at the computer.. I always tell myself “I really need to stop doing this”, but I do it anyway.. constantly. This:
twist tissue paper up into a point and push the point between the keys to soak up the tea.
is usually my method for cleaning up accidents too. 😀
I can’t wait for when we’re all using virtual keyboards that just consist of the keys projected on the desk. Easy to clean up the desk if you make a mess on it!
(Those actually exist now, I just don’t know how advanced/good they are).
Re: dick/degree thing — um… my diploma came in a tube?
@thebionicmommy
The only people out of those you’ve mentioned that I actually know of is Carrie from SATC. However I wouldn’t say she counts, yes she might not be what you’d call conventionally Hollywood attractive in terms of her facial features, but otherwise she conforms to what is acceptable. She’s very slim, she has long hair, she’s not an overweight slob like the male characters in the usual trope. There’s also the difference that the trope usually has the hot wife being devoted to their fat husband (ie. Marge and Homer) whereas Carrie has to kind of chase Mr Big down and wait ages for him to commit to her!
Sorry to derail, but it would appear that there is now a subreddit devoted to taking creepy pictures of girls.
When you say “girl” I hope you mean “young adult woman” and not “female child”…
Also, seriously, why do they think this shit is acceptable? It’s not acceptable.
God I hope I’m not on there.
pillowinhell said:
I had to look that up. It is by no means an exaggeration.
From here:
Ew. Even for people who are blind to the abuser logic in the Red Pill Woman list, I literally can’t imagine thinking this guy has anything to say about healthy marriages.
From here:
“husband’s ability to game his wife”
Ew. Then he goes on about how, over and over, he tells Christian men (specifically, christian men who are unwilling to divorce) to threaten to divorce their wives and things magically get better (for the husband), creating a very healthy lifelong dynamic that lasts every couple to the grave and doesn’t create any resentment and spite whatsoever. [/snark]
Oh, and look! More shit! That blog is a veritable poop mine.
CWS, Shade – Penile Paper Cuts should be on the list of things that really need to happen to Fartiste, Elam, Martin etc. 🙂
Self-inflicted penile papercuts.
It doesn’t seem to occur to this arsehole that a Christian man – if he had anything whatever of Christ’s teachings in his head – wouldn’t WANT to ‘game’ anyone, let alone his wife. Game is totally alien to anything JC espoused.
But like I said elsewhere, love isn’t something MRAs seem to understand at all, let alone to have experienced. Hate, fear, desire to control – they seem to be the drivers in the MRAs’ attitude to other people, most particularly women, of course, but I’m betting they’d like to play their little mind-games on other men if they thought it’d make ’em more Alpha-ish.
CWS – good point. Nobody else should have to get that close to their anatomy (any of it)!
I went to the grocery store today and one of the magazines at the check out had a collage of pictures shaming actresses for engaging in dieting behavior that was “too extreme.” I wanted to rip the magazine to shreds. These fucking magazine covers push the Photoshopped images at us and attack every single female celebrity who gains a single fucking pound and then turn around and attack these same women for dieting too hard.
Jesus fucking wept, people.
THE ONLY WINNING MOVE IS NOT TO PLAY.
@Dvarghundspossen – indeed, although it’s worth remembering that anorexia and bulimia are both mental illnesses, and anorexia is the most fatal mental illness.
@Fembot – we also must be these things to the satisfaction of every person we encounter at all times without fail and never appear to be trying to do so. It must be “effortless perfection.” Never mind that no two men (much less women) will have the exact same definition of “pretty” and that “nice” involves for most people being exactly what they want at that moment, without any recognition of a woman having her own life and emotions.
It’s all part and parcel of the big picture. Women have no autonomy. When you are out in public while female, you must meet the above expectations and expect censure if you fail, and we are trained from birth to believe if we are censured the failure is our fault, not the fault of random asshole on the street for demanding I smile for him, etc. We internalize that guilt.
Rape apologism is part of this – when you think about the way women are trained to internalize guilt over everything that goes badly (“I shouldn’t have worn that skirt when I knew I had to pass that construction site,” and so on) it makes total sense that women will victim blame other women, because something bad happened to a woman, it must be her fault.
This is of course utter bullshit. This is how misogyny and patriarchy work together. When all your energy is being sucked into this vortex of trying desperately not to get judged poorly by anyone at all times, how much energy do you have left to do things like get a degree or a promotion or run for office or what have you? None. Feature, not a bug.
Also anyone who thinks Rachel Maddow isn’t hot is a fool. 😉
PS – the only example I can think of where the conventionally attractive male lead ends up with the women who isn’t is “Hairspray” where Link, who is extremely hot (um, if you go for that type? Doesn’t work for me, but he fits the standards) ends up with Tracy, who of course is conventionally attractive in every way except for being fat.
If there were any other examples in film/tv, I would own multiple copies. There are a couple of novels I can think of but that’s not the same thing.
drst – hear, hear!
It’s not exactly escaping the whole thing, but it always gives me some pleasure to think, if some bloke’s staring at me, “I don’t give a shit what you think about how I look or dress, loser, because YOU DON’T COUNT – you’re a random stranger whose opinion means exactly nothing. There’s only one man whose opinion matters to me and you aren’t him. I look good in my eyes and in my beloved’s eyes and nobody else matters on that subject.”