Over on Married Man Sex Life, doucheblogger Athol Kay has provided the ladies with a helpful checklist of the things they need to do, or to be, or to do be do be do, to become the ultimate “red pill” girlfriend or wife. But the women he describes sound a lot less like Trinity from The Matrix than the robotified housewives from The Stepford Wives.
Mr. Kay’s list of demands is too long to quote in its entirety, but here are a few of the choicer items:
(4) Understands that there is a sexual marketplace, and that women have an earlier peak of sexual desirability than men do.
Presumably if she forgets this, her manospherian swain will happily neg her back to a properly less-positive assessment of her rapidly decaying beauty as a woman over the age of 14.
(13) Understands that divorce sucks and is more akin to getting treatment for cancer than having cosmetic surgery.
I sort of agree with this one, actually: for women married to Athol Kay’s followers, getting divorced would be a lot like removing a malignant tumor.
(14) Likes men in a general sense for who they are and what they do, rather than detesting all men in general and making an exception for the tiny few in her nuclear family.
(Huh. Project much?)
(15) Understands the risks both men and women take in having serious relationships, and is willing to negotiate ways to verify trustworthiness in each other. Sees doing this as evidence of true commitment rather than an insulting invasion of privacy.
I have no fucking idea what he’s talking about here. Lie detector tests? Waterboarding?
(20) Doesn’t keep the Red Pill a secret from those that need it.
That’s what we need, more women lecturing women on how terrible they are.
I’ve saved the best for last:
(3) Understands that what she does with her vagina always has some sort of consequence.
Seriously. Please think twice before tattooing Homer Simpson on you hoo-hah! (This has actually been done. You’ll have to look up the pictures yourself.)
In the comments, BlackCat adds a 21st item to the list:
(21) Understands that current society/public opinion, the vast majority of churches, and almost all laws, courts and government agencies dealing with families are all biased heavily against men, and that until the incentives and disincentives return to a more balanced state, men are completely justified in being gun-shy and avoiding commitment and other entanglements as much as possible.
Corollary to (21): Appreciates the men, especially informed (red pill) men, who are willing to take the chance at a relationship despite the above, and goes out of her way to prevent them from being taken advantage of, and to publicly denounce those who do take advantage of them.
So come on, gals, start lining up for your chance to jump through endless hoops for the chance to get with a dude who thinks he’s doing you a gigantic favor by even considering dating you in the first place!
While we’re at it, here’s my favorite scene from The Stepford Wives (the original 1975 version, of course), in which [SPOILER ALERT] Joanna, the new gal in Stepford, discovers that her friend Bobbie is no longer the free-spirited Women’s Libber she thought she knew.
Go fuck yourself. The fact that you’re forced to keep bringing up the Duke case is proof that what you’re arguing is the exception rather than the rule. So here are some FACTS for you, you ideological halfwit HACK.
The arrest rate for rape is 25% (compare that to 79% for murder). So out of the rapes that are actually reported to the police, only 1 in 4 accused rapists will even be arrested for it. And before you go spouting off your usual bullshit about false accusations, keep in mind that there are over 200,000 untested rape kits in the United States. That’s hundreds of thousands of cases that are simply not properly investigated because the police departments don’t have the funds, the time, or the care to do so.
Detroit recently got a grant to start testing their backlog of 11,000 untested rape kits. After testing a mere 600 of them, they found 20 serial rapists and a serial killer. A serial killer who went on to rape and murder five women because his first rape was not properly investigated.
So again I say to you, GO FUCK YOURSELF. We live in a country where a serial killer is allowed to operate with impunity because we will not spend the money or the time to properly investigate rape. Fuck off and take your bullshit with you.
@Dvarghundspossen – No, they can’t. The entire beauty culture is designed to reinforce the fact that NOBODY is okay, ever, you must always work at it all the time and keep buying shit. Everyone is being bombarded with messages all the time about that the “right” body looks like, and gosh, the “right body” thing keeps fucking changing all the time. It’s a constantly moving target that we’re intended never to meet, just to keep chasing, because billions of dollars are at stake. (If there was really a diet that actually worked and permanently made fat people thin don’t you think we’d know about it?) No one is immune. And frankly, the more conventionally attractive you are, the more you have to lose by failing, whereas someone like me, who started out life obese, it’s a lot easier to let go of the mindset because I’m not losing any privileges. I really hate it when people imply that someone who may appear to meet the beauty standard has not right to feel insecure, when the entire system is designed to make everyone insecure because that’s how you make money off this shit.
@embyrr – well aren’t you fucking special and superior that you “don’t have time for” dealing with stupid women and all that competition and social interaction they’ve been trained to engage in by our entire society? You’re so much better than other women because you like being one of the guys! If you want some MRA asshole to hand you a cookie for not being like “those other women”? Fuck off. Seriously. This bullshit “men are so much better and easier to be around” is internalized misogyny and you are hurting other women when you engage in this garbage, because you tell every man around you that his crappy attitudes towards women are totally okay because you are a woman and hey, you agree with him! Ugh.
“I suggest you remain mindful of this and take care to associate such statements with yourself rather than your cause next time.”
Truly the words of someone with deep concern with our cause who is not at all grasping for the moral high ground to avoid justifying the defense of abuse advocates.
aworldanonymous: delurking after long-time lurkery just to throw in one more (wordy) thought.
Clubs/interest groups are nice and fine, but since you expressed wanting to *live* somewhere that feels more comfortable/inclusive/better fit… does your campus have live-in student co-ops? This may be a US-specific thing, and student co-ops do vary from campus to campus, so YMMV. But I found co-ops to be a much better living experience for me than dorms, and this was true for many other students who felt they didn’t fit the campus mainstream. If your campus has them (or similar student-organized alternative housing set-ups), it might be worth looking into them.
The co-ops on my campus varied a bit (two were predominantly hippie/social activism-oriented, one was more the creative artist house, one was the stoner/party co-op, and one pretty much the unofficial queer theme house), but they all shared the aspect of being a much more supportive, open-to-differences living environment. They frequently included plenty of people with social quirks, folks living with disabilities or mental health issues, people with non-mainstream interests, people struggling with coming out, people with dietary restrictions/food allergies, and any number of ways of “being different” that might chafe against the stereotypical cookie-cutter dorm environment – and they were all welcomed and included, and the community tried to support them in whichever way they needed as best they could, because *this was a part of the point of the house*. There would be regular house meetings where people were encouraged to share their needs, concerns, anxieties, etc., too. It was pretty sweet.
(Also, the first co-op I lived in had a garden that produced its own fresh produce and encouraged studying in puppy piles for those who were comfortable with that kind of thing. How cool is that?)
Even if your campus does not have student co-ops (or if the student co-ops are not like that), maybe you can ask around for dorms that have a “feel” closer to what you are looking for (different dorms do tend to develop different “personalities” to some extent), or even look into starting your own off-campus house/apartment share with like-minded people. You may have to wait until the next school year to get there, but it would be at least something to look forward to?
@drst
Not only does it keep changing, in many cases it doesn’t even exist. It’s a result of make-up, lighting and extreme amounts of photo manipulation that turn the bodies that are seen into bodies that are at best incredibly hard and at worst physically impossible to achieve.
And it’s all compounded by the media publicly shaming on the women who are supposed to be the “beauty standards” every time they do something that takes them even slightly outside of that box (see: celebrity baby weight-gain, worst dressed lists, etc). If even the beauty standards face scorn, what about the rest of us?
I think I’m gonna go talk to the student union and see what clubs are available to join here, It should help me a lot.
Yes, clubs are a very good idea. All of my favorite people from school (barring a few exceptions) are people that I was in a club with.
Funny story about how “other gender is better” things tend to work.
I went to a girls’ school, and my partner went to the brother school. We both came out with really low ideas of our own gender (admittedly, a lot of the girls at my school were homophobic, fascist gender-policers so this is not unjustified, at least on my end) and high ideas of the other (because we didn’t have any real-world experience of them).
We were comparing our school experiences, each praising each others’ gender as better, when we suddenly, almost simultaneously came to this conclusion: everyone’s an arsehole!
Having grown up a little more, we’ve now attributed this arseholeism to being teenagers in school.
@Fembot:
I’m sure that there’s some way of making the War on Drugs the fault of feminism/women. NWOslave, help me out here!
@CassandraSays:
Hmmm, I thought the “alpha” thing was about the notion that men will fuck anything that moves, but women will only fuck hot men, or something like that.
@drst: Well, you have a good point. It’s impossible to look like a photoshopped and airbrushed picture.
I wrote before that I’m pretty conventionally attractive, but yeah, I can nitpick and find lots of stuff about me that don’t fit the beauty standard… I’m pretty flat-chested for instance, and being thirty-five I’m starting to get wrinkles… I sometimes get infected exema on my fingers, and even between outbreaks they’re a bit scarred from this problem. I guess I could go on and on if I wanted to and find more and more little things that aren’t quite “right”.
Maybe the real reason that I’ve always been confident about my looks it’s just that I’ve always focused so much on my mental illness and how my BRAIN is all wrong that I just didn’t have any time or energy left to spend on worrying about my body. That’s a really depressing thought… That you’d have to be really mental in order NOT to worry yourself sick about your appearance.
I really used to hate my brain, to the point where I honestly wanted to get a lobotomy and become a vegetable. Me and a (obese) friend I had in high school used to joke about how I wanted to cut my brain out and she wanted to cut her fat off. (I mean, the kind of desperate jokes people tell to keep their nose above water…) So we really saw some similarity between my brain hate and her body hate.
That’s a good point. Then you can look at how the media treats women like Cindy Crawford or Claudia Schiffer. In the 90’s, they were held up as the examples of perfect beauty. As they age, people obsess over them looking different in their 40’s than they did in their 20’s. When women use plastic surgery or Botox, people go “Oh gross, she’s fake!” but if they don’t, then people say “Gross! She has wrinkles!”. So for famous women, there is no way to win except to just disappear from the spotlight after the age of 35.
Another bad thing is how tabloids will chase beautiful actresses around trying to catch them in an unflattering pose. So they’ll snap a picture of Taylor Swift not wearing makeup and in the middle of a sneeze, and then sell it to everyone as a way to “bring her down a notch”. Women who aren’t rich and famous see stuff like that and think “If she’s considered ugly, then there’s no hope for any woman”. And like you pointed out, that’s the point when a multibillion dollar industry relies on making women feel insecure so they’ll buy their beauty products.
This is one of those fun completely contradictory set of gender norms that are somehow both considered perfectly reasonable assumptions. Men are supposed to want to fuck anything that moves, while at the same time being utterly repulsed by anyone who doesn’t fall into an extremely narrow ideal of beauty (and, as usual, gay people don’t exist in these stereotypes).
Of course, women get the same thing basically inverted, where they’re only supposed to be interested in conventionally attractive men, but at the same time have no actual interest in sex whatsoever. (I almost said ‘go after’ instead of ‘be interested in’, silly me. Can’t have women not being completely passive in our gender roles.)
Y’know, I’ve spent the past week making “How to Know Your Relationship is Abusive” pamphlets with the number and information for the local Domestic Violence Shelter and hotline printed inside, to place in the church bathroom. I’m thinking I could have saved some time and just printed this list out under the heading “WARNING SIGNS” and been done with it.
Oh yes, printing the OP is a good warning signs pamphlet. But even better is the “wedding vows” he thinks would be a good idea, to reinstall a proper wedding contract without the current vows “uneforcable nonsense”.
Yeah, I’m sure people will read his list and not see what’s wrong. Part of the problem is that there’s a thin film of reasonable smeared over the slime that preys on peoples vulnerabilities and unconcious sexist attitudes. And let’s face it, most people view DV as an open and shut you have major bruises/broken bones or it wasn’t really DV. And the abuse apologia sets in.
He goes on in other blog posts to say that men should NOT be pushing for an end to divorce, because threatening to ditch a woman on her ass is an Alpha way to reassert control and get her to be sweetly, sexily compliant.
In other words, for him the fun and Game never ended afterr marriage. What’s worse, is that several women were posting their eagerness to have their husbands treat them with a mix of contempt and love. And according to the asshat, four out of five women LOVE being treated this way.
I had to laugh as he talked about a wife being First Officer. Ivanova from B5 popped into my head. I don’t think that’s what he meant though…
“Wedding vows?”
And like you pointed out, that’s the point when a multibillion dollar industry relies on making women feel insecure so they’ll buy their beauty products.
This. So true. I don’t think most men understand how it feels to be valued solely for your looks. From childhood women are taught that they need to be 1) pretty and 2) nice, and pretty is way more important than nice. And then you read PUA blogs where these guys just reinforce it. “Bitch, I can’t stick my dick in your degree.” When you are attractive you face cat calls and have old men making kissing noises at you in Walmart. When you are deemed “unattractive” you are ridiculed for your lack of looks and made to feel worthless. As you age, it is assumed you will become a hysterical mess over the loss of your looks, whether you are completely comfortable aging or not. I understand that people appreciate beauty and they always will. But I’m tired of women like Rachel Maddow having their ideas discarded because she isn’t “hot.” An ugly man will be valued for his intelligence, confidence, humor, etc. While an ugly woman is made to feel that she shouldn’t even bother living.
1. Take a degree certificate
2. Roll it up fairly tightly
3. Put dick into roll
4. *enthusiastic wanking motions*
5. Don’t call women ‘bitch’.
6. Be very careful, because paper cuts. *Shudder*
@Fembot
All very, hugely, extremely, elephantinely true.
It’s also hard for them to understand the way women feel when they see women portrayed in the media and in films. Go watch your average movie, you will have The Conventionally Attractive Lead sure but you’ll also have The Funny Guy, The Clever Guy, The Best Friend etc. the only women you see in most films are The Hot Love Interest. And occasionally someone’s mum.
The only women who we see in films are young, hot and passive. They are never the lead, they never have any real character or story of their own.
And when you do get a woman as a lead character she also has to be young and conventionally attractive. Plenty of leading men are anything but that. I mean Tom Hanks? Adam Sandler?
I doubt men know how it feels to go and see film after film your whole life and see that the only woman in it them any lines is just a two dimensional sex object.
@Shadethedruid
I am very glad I have a vagina because if I were a dick-bearer would probably spend the evening engaged in SCIENCE! around this topic.
[/knowledge sim]
As far as alcohol goes, I enjoy just being tipsy enough to relieve some of my usual anxiousness (especially at family reunions) and I enjoy being able to sample different varieties. I hope one day to find that elusive variety of beer that actually tasted good the one time I tried it (mysteriously vanished from the menu the next time I went to that pub *le sigh*). Drunkenness doesn’t appeal to me so much.
The prohibition and temperance movements back in the day were largely composed of women. Though women were not so involved in the politics that started the War on Drugs, clearly the politicians in charge were inspired by mothers or grandmothers that worked for prohibition/temperance. Dastardly zombie feminists strike again! /tinfoil hattery
And the only reason women started the Temperance movement was because it was more public-friendly than the “Stop Beating Your Wife” movement or the “Save Some Of Your Wages For Your Family” movement.
*sigh*
That’s why it seems like such a big deal when movies or shows have female leads that aren’t conventionally attractive. Even with historical figures, Hollywood will change the women to be “hot”, like how they cast Debbie Reynolds as Molly Brown. At least James Cameron had Kathy Bates play Molly Brown, rather than trying to change a real woman in history to fit into the beauty standard. This is also why for every Roseann Barr, there are dozens of Drew Careys. Oh, and this also goes into the classic MRA gripe of shows with fat guys with hot wives. They just interpret the misogyny as “misandry” because they live in Opposite World.
Maybe they see it as misandry because “I’m fat, bald, stupid and kind of mean, why wont the ridiculously hot supermodels with giant boobs date me?!”
It’s like their whole universe orbits them.