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Vagina and Consequences

Loretta Lynn was singing about a different pill altogether.

Over on Married Man Sex Life, doucheblogger Athol Kay has provided the ladies with a helpful checklist of the things they need to do, or to be, or to do be do be do, to become the ultimate “red pill” girlfriend or wife. But the women he describes sound a lot less like Trinity from The Matrix than the robotified housewives from The Stepford Wives.

Mr. Kay’s list of demands is too long to quote in its entirety, but here are a few of the choicer items:

(4)  Understands that there is a sexual marketplace, and that women have an earlier peak of sexual desirability than men do.

Presumably if she forgets this, her manospherian swain will happily neg her back to a properly less-positive assessment of her rapidly decaying beauty as a woman over the age of 14.

(13)  Understands that divorce sucks and is more akin to getting treatment for cancer than having cosmetic surgery.

I sort of agree with this one, actually: for women married to Athol Kay’s followers, getting divorced would be a lot like removing a malignant tumor.

(14)  Likes men in a general sense for who they are and what they do, rather than detesting all men in general and making an exception for the tiny few in her nuclear family.

(Huh. Project much?)

(15)  Understands the risks both men and women take in having serious relationships, and is willing to negotiate ways to verify trustworthiness in each other. Sees doing this as evidence of true commitment rather than an insulting invasion of privacy.

I have no fucking idea what he’s talking about here. Lie detector tests? Waterboarding?

(20)  Doesn’t keep the Red Pill a secret from those that need it.

That’s what we need, more women lecturing women on how terrible they are.

I’ve saved the best for last:

(3)  Understands that what she does with her vagina always has some sort of consequence.

Seriously. Please think twice before tattooing Homer Simpson on you hoo-hah! (This has actually been done. You’ll have to look up the pictures yourself.)

In the comments, BlackCat adds a 21st item to the list:

(21) Understands that current society/public opinion, the vast majority of churches, and almost all laws, courts and government agencies dealing with families are all biased heavily against men, and that until the incentives and disincentives return to a more balanced state, men are completely justified in being gun-shy and avoiding commitment and other entanglements as much as possible.

Corollary to (21): Appreciates the men, especially informed (red pill) men, who are willing to take the chance at a relationship despite the above, and goes out of her way to prevent them from being taken advantage of, and to publicly denounce those who do take advantage of them.

So come on, gals, start lining up for your chance to jump through endless hoops for the chance to get with a dude who thinks he’s doing you a gigantic favor by even considering dating you in the first place!

While we’re at it, here’s my favorite scene from The Stepford Wives (the original 1975 version, of course), in which [SPOILER ALERT] Joanna, the new gal in Stepford, discovers that her friend Bobbie is no longer the free-spirited Women’s Libber she thought she knew.

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Captain Bathrobe
Captain Bathrobe
12 years ago

I’m not a woman, but somehow I think that women have a better idea of the consequences of using their vaginas than this wanker does.

Rapunzel
12 years ago

That clip only reinforces my hypothesis that “The Stepford Wives” is one of the scariest films for women. Watching those women being slowly rooted out and killed by their own husbands, only to be replaced by unthinking machines, I think that the implicit question is “Is that really *all* my significant other wants from me?”

Of course, in all healthy relationships the answer is a resounding “No!” but even acknowledging the question and contemplating the possibility is *terrifying.* The fact that men exist that would answer with a “yes” just makes it scarier.

Woo, I’ve got the jibblies now.

Nobinayamu
Nobinayamu
12 years ago

Okay, I’ll bite: how should a couple negotiate ways to verify trustworthiness?

ozymandias42
12 years ago

If you are committed to someone you can’t trust implicitly, you really shouldn’t be committed to them.

Freitag
Freitag
12 years ago

I’ll wager the ladies are stacked up three deep waiting to date these guys. Really. They must be.

Pam
Pam
12 years ago

Okay, I’ll bite: how should a couple negotiate ways to verify trustworthiness?

I don’t know, but I’m thinking it might start with something like he demands she wear an ankle monitor and she agrees.

Nobinayamu
Nobinayamu
12 years ago

I don’t know, but I’m thinking it might start with something like he demands she wear an ankle monitor and she agrees.

I was thinking either ankle monitor or one of those electronic pet collars.

Pam
Pam
12 years ago

I was thinking either ankle monitor or one of those electronic pet collars.

LOL!! Yeah, and have an Invisible Fence® style “Woman Fence” installed.

hellkell
hellkell
12 years ago

Sees doing this as evidence of true commitment rather than an insulting invasion of privacy.

“So yeah, baby, I’m gonna need all your passwords, I’ll be checking your phone, and there’s Lo-Jack on your car, but don’t you EVER think of even so much as glancing at my computer screen while I’m watching porn. Hey wait! Come back!”

hellkell
hellkell
12 years ago

“Vagina and Consequences” sounds like a little-known NM ghost town.

cloudiah
12 years ago

And clearly, he needs to be given complete access to her cell phone and laptop, as well as passwords to any email or social media accounts.

cloudiah
12 years ago

Ninjaed by hellkell!

Sharon Seemins
Sharon Seemins
12 years ago

Huh. Most of these apply to men as well. Where are you getting the Stepford thing from?

People should have requirements and expectations for a serious partner. Settling for just anyone is a disaster waiting to happen.

Tulgey Logger
Tulgey Logger
12 years ago

The items go back and forth between reasonable stuff for any gender and batshit MRM/PUA brainwashing.

(1) Understands that physical appearance and her looks are what attracts men’s sexual interest. She stays in shape and while every waking minute she may not be dressed to the nines, neither does she get mistaken for a slob. She “looks good for [insert age]”

Translates as: must look above average. Men aren’t liberated from the gynocracy unless their babes are decent looking.

(2) Understands that all her skills, effort, kindness, intelligence and “inner beauty” et al, is what creates relationship comfort and makes her someone capable of having a functional relationship with.

Translation: women don’t normally understand personal qualities as positive things, and just focus on appearances. What’s misogyny?

(5) Understands that men are the gatekeepers of commitment and that committed men place extreme value on sexual loyalty.

(15) Understands the risks both men and women take in having serious relationships, and is willing to negotiate ways to verify trustworthiness in each other. Sees doing this as evidence of true commitment rather than an insulting invasion of privacy.

Translation: I’m going to be pretty jealous and controlling because I’ve bought into a bunch of misogynistic ideas on the Internet about how your sexuality is a commodity you use to buy men. And that’s my commodity now, damnit.

(7) Is aware of her own sexuality and understands what in a man attracts her and turns her on. Namely hypergamy, Alpha Traits, why she may Fitness Test and so on.

Translation: not only must your husband rule your sexuality, you have to buy his stupid PUA bullshit about what turns you on as well. Women’s sexuality is less pure, honest, and decent than men’s.

(16) With her chosen partner, is deeply and passionately sexual.

Translation: Red Pill women don’t have their own sexuality, they have Red Pill sexuality in order to liberate men from not getting laid enough in this misandrous society because alpha males.

Take the Red Pill today, and you, too, can construct a conformist relationship based on what a backwards misogynistic quarter of the Internet thinks!

hellkell
hellkell
12 years ago

Duh, Sharon. There’s nothing wrong with having expectations, but when they’re unrealistic and borderline abusive, that’s a problem.

blitzgal
12 years ago

They’re really sticking with this bullshit meme that religion is female dominated, aren’t they? Yup, that’s why the religious men of Missouri just overrode the governor’s veto of their bill allowing employers to refuse to cover birth control and sterilization. And that’s why they’re passing around a pamphlet at the Values Summit that tells women to dress modestly because they’re “forcing” men to think lustful thoughts about them. Because religion is female dominated.

http://thinkprogress.org/election/2012/09/14/851401/values-voters-women/

Nobinayamu
Nobinayamu
12 years ago

As I write that, 90% of it seems to fairly directly apply to men as well as women.

I read the whole list. I wonder what constitutes the 10% he thinks doesn’t apply to men?

ozymandias42
12 years ago

Sharon: There are some I’d have problems with even if it was 100% egalitarian. My partner checking up on me to see that I’m not breaking their trust? The idea that whether I’ve fucked lots of other people before is one of the most important traits about me? Whatever a “Fitness Test” is (am I making my boyfriend run a mile before I agree to move in?)? Fuck that.

I mean, if that’s your thing, knock yourself out. But just as you’re allowed to have whatever relationships you like, I am allowed to think that your relationships are probably terrible.

hellkell
hellkell
12 years ago

And that’s why they’re passing around a pamphlet at the Values Summit that tells women to dress modestly because they’re “forcing” men to think lustful thoughts about them.

Great, more men who think like NWO.

Viscaria
Viscaria
12 years ago

Hey, why has this particular Pell iteration managed to elude banning so long?

Tulgey Logger
Tulgey Logger
12 years ago

Also, Athol gets major bonus points for appropriating a sexism-challenging quote from the Matrix and twisting it around to mean that “Red Pill women” are basically just women with guy values.

It’s a good movie but it’s more than a decade old, ffs. Make up some vagina/inception metaphors or something.

clairedammit
clairedammit
12 years ago

How would a sexual marketplace even work within a relationship? Does he mean she’s just supposed to accept that he’ll leave her at some point when he considers her too old?

(3) Understands that what she does with her vagina always has some sort of consequence.

I queef in your general direction, Kay.

ShadetheDruid
ShadetheDruid
12 years ago

Viscaria: Either it’s not Pell, or we haven’t poked him to enough yet. Or he got some Boots of Pellsplosion Resistance +2.

katz
12 years ago

I think “Vagina and Consequences” sounds like a game show.

Anna
Anna
12 years ago

(15) Understands the risks both men and women take in having serious relationships, and is willing to negotiate ways to verify trustworthiness in each other. Sees doing this as evidence of true commitment rather than an insulting invasion of privacy.

Yeah, I’d really like to see some clarification for this one. Getting the creepy impression of someone paranoid and obsessively jealous speaking from the experience of having his ‘trustworthiness verification tests’ backfire.

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