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Paul Elam on “stupid lying whores,” Rebecca Watson, and how he never claims to be a victim even though he totally is one.

Paul Elam, in a rare moment of calm

In the fast-paced, perpetually busy world of today, we don’t all have time to read every post on A Voice for Men. So here is an edited version of Paul Elam’s latest post, on Rebecca Watson of Skepchick. And whores. And how he personally doesn’t spend all his time claiming to be a victim, even though he totally is one, in case you forgot since the last time he reminded you of that.

Here’s Paul:

Whores … typical whore … Main Street walking, garden variety anybody’s whore … honest whore. … corporate whore … corporate whores … whorish sexual symmetry … stupid whore … stupid whore … whore … lying whore … whore  … lying whore … whore … lying whore … corporate whore … a lying whore can also be a corporate whore … whoring for the cause … whore … PZ Myers … stupid, lying whore … not just a lying whore who also happens to be a stupid whore … a different subspecies of whore altogether … stupid, lying whore … whore that rigorously abandons intellect, rationale, evidence, decency and compassion, and also fosters much deserved hostility toward themselves … stupid, lying whore … stupid, lying whore … .

Paul Elam, meet Tom Martin.

Speaking of stupid, lying whores, let’s discuss Rebecca Watson’s latest article … about how she and other women who trash and demonize men regularly are helpless victims, getting nasty emails and tweets from some people who don’t like it. … Once [sic] such comment came from an individual who penned, “Hope Dawkins will bestially rape you…in the elevator to hell.” …

I have a keeper file of death threats, but I never wrote an article about them. I have been hounded recently by half the media hacks in Canada …  it does not even compare to John the Other facing a gang of 20-30 assholes on the street, some wielding box cutters … 2 plus 2 equals stupid, lying, whining whore. What John and other MRAs are starting to encounter every day, and the future of what is to come, makes getting bestially raped by Richard Dawkins sound kinda funny. We just don’t get the luxury of playing the damsel in distress, nor do we want it.

There are maybe 1200 more words to his post, but I think you probably get the gist of it.

Watson’s post, by contrast, is worth reading in full.

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Creative Writing Student
Creative Writing Student
9 years ago

Yeah it’s basically the loud drunk ponies shouting “DO WORK” and “YEAH BUDDY” among other things late at night

Once after a play I was kept awake by drunken recitations of Measure for Measure.

College just has a different noise level. You’ll acclimate.

I’d take Measure for Measure over MTV catchphrases any day, maybe that’s my intellectual elitism talking though.

I think I’d take Measure for Measure just for the sheer surreal hilarity of it.

Creative Writing Student
Creative Writing Student
9 years ago

Also:

Dear Paul Elam

I hope you have to listen to the incessant nattering of the two people the next table over in Costa today. Because I think I just got dumber.

Seriously. One of them thought that unis wouldn’t take them because they post a lot of drunken party pictures on their Facebook.

Dude. Duuuuuuuuuude. Have they even met students? We’ve had people come into class obviously hungover and then written poetry about it!

lightcastle
lightcastle
9 years ago

Aworldanonymous, where in Canada are you? I don’t hear uni and college used that way in Montréal. Of course, we have CÉGEP, which confuses the.issue.

Creative Writing Student
Creative Writing Student
9 years ago

May Elam wake up and find A Voice for Men turned into a site dedicated to DIY artexing, puppy pictures, and Japanese recipes.

Viscaria
Viscaria
9 years ago

My first year living in a single room in trad dorms was pretty tough for me. I hadn’t yet received a diagnosis for depression, and the environment I was in was taylor-made to bring out a severe depressive episode. There was nobody to force me to go to class or leave my room, nobody to watch me start spiralling, I didn’t have many friends on the floor. I kept my shutters closed, because I was on the basement level and it was well-known that campus security had not yet been successful in catching the man who came to campus in the evenings and masturbated outside women’s dorms, so I didn’t really experience the scant hours of winter sunlight. Anyway, it got to a point where I was going to maybe one class a week, eating a about muffin a day, sleeping from 4 a.m. to 2 p.m., and usually managing a shower most days. 3 to 4 panic attacks a week, usually waking me up in the wee hours of the morning, constant crying (which produced chronic dehydration) and self-hatred and all that good depression stuff.

But! I learned a bunch of important things! Like so:

1) If your first year isn’t what you expected it to be, and you’re getting unhappy about it, it can be really awesome to tell someone. Man Boobz counts (IMHO) but there are probably people within the institution who want you to succeed and want to help you in any way they can. It might be a counsellor, it might be someone in the careers office, whatever. Someone wants to help. And family, maybe, if your family is supportive. I wish I had told my parents early on, before I became numb to any help.

2) Lots and lots of us stumble first year. Academically, socially… It’s very common. Doesn’t matter if you fall down, it matters how you pick yourself up (as my beautiful mom would say).

3) There are EIGHTY MILLION BILLION CLUBS, and most of them are hilariously obscure, and you can probably find something that will make you feel happy and meet like-minded people.

4) You can change paths. Taking too many classes? Drop one! Hate your major, loved that anthro class you took? Switch it up! Or maybe you’ll find that school just makes you so miserable you can’t stand it. It’s okay to do something else. (This one sounds pretty condescending but that’s only because I’m trying to convince myself at the same time I’m telling you.)

We .>

lowquacks
lowquacks
9 years ago

Thanks all for advice and cool lexical bits about college/uni. Your college kids are our uni students then, and our college kids are, roughly your frat boys and sorority sisters then, which I did kinda know but I thought that people in the US did sometimes say “uni”. European exchanges students perhaps. Hmm.

@Creative Writing Student

Seriously. One of them thought that unis wouldn’t take them because they post a lot of drunken party pictures on their Facebook.

My high school prinicipal who didn’t really understand the internet (or public speaking, or running a high school, but that’s another story) pushed that line pretty heavily, and eventually got a lot of the older members of staff repeating it, though I’m not sure how much they believed it. Hopefully, they’re just really sheltered and get understandably nervous about losing their chance at tertiary education

Viscaria
Viscaria
9 years ago

Angle brackets, thou hast betrayed me again! That last bit was just about how you’re both well-liked here and I think we are all happy to support you.

This cat just bit me >:-| I am unimpressed, cat.

wordsp1nner
wordsp1nner
9 years ago

While in the US “college” in general terms just means higher ed, if you see an institution called a “college” that means that it doesn’t have graduate programs. So community colleges are up there, but so are liberal arts colleges, many of which are very well-regarded and highly selective. However, it also generally means that colleges that aren’t community colleges are smaller than institutions called universities.

(Disclaimer: I go to a liberal-arts college of only 1400 people and love it.)

katz
9 years ago

There was nobody to force me to go to class or leave my room, nobody to watch me start spiralling, I didn’t have many friends on the floor.

WRT this, can I just ask everyone who’s at college/university: If there’s someone in your dorm, in your group of friends, or whatever who you just don’t see around AT ALL anymore, please go visit them! Bring them some cookies or invite them to something! Worst case you stand around their door awkwardly for a minute; best case, they really needed a visit from someone and you came just when they needed it!

Creative Writing Student
Creative Writing Student
9 years ago

@lowquacks

I would agree, except I’m in my home town atm. It’s one of the UK’s biggest party towns and regularly patronised by a variety of sozzled students. 😛

crazyladyblues
crazyladyblues
9 years ago

@ Bionicmommy thanks, it’s just a bit painful & awkward at the moment. It’s the timing that’s the worst bit.

anathema2
anathema2
9 years ago

My first year living in a single room in trad dorms was pretty tough for me. I hadn’t yet received a diagnosis for depression, and the environment I was in was taylor-made to bring out a severe depressive episode. There was nobody to force me to go to class or leave my room, nobody to watch me start spiralling, I didn’t have many friends on the floor.

I had a similar thing happen to me during my sophomore year. When I was a freshman, I had a room mate, so I was forced to have some minimal interaction with people, but then n my sophomore year I got a single room. I already had trouble making and keeping up friendships because of my social anxiety. So having a single room meant that I hardly had to interact with anyone else at all. Even knowing that avoidance is the worst way to deal with social anxiety, under the stress of my workload and my already poor impulse control I succumbed to the temptation to interact with people as little as possible. At the same time, I was taking classes with heavy reading loads, which I was struggling to keep up with because I had a slow reading speed, largely thanks to my ADHD. But when I started to fall behind or struggle in a class I’d become anxious whenever I’d think about that class, which made it even harder for me to concentrate on doing the work for the class, which meant that it took longer for me to do the work. And this left me feeling that I was a terrible person who was utterly incompetent, unlikable, and doomed to a life of loneliness and failure.

But even then, I didn’t have to worry about anyone coming to masturbate outside of the dorms in the evening. I felt awful at times, but that was just triggered by my anxiety and the situation I was in. I didn’t have clinical depression. So, yeah, I don’t think things were as bad for me as they were for you, but I can sympathize.

I suppose that there’s a bright side to all this. Things got better for both of us. We both managed to get on with our lives.

crazyladyblues
crazyladyblues
9 years ago

@ CWS You’re not in Newcastle are you?

Creative Writing Student
Creative Writing Student
9 years ago

@crazyladyblues

Both my home and uni town are in the former kingdom of Wessex. I don’t feel comfortable giving any more specific info out on the internet, sorry.

Viscaria
Viscaria
9 years ago

I suppose that there’s a bright side to all this. Things got better for both of us. We both managed to get on with our lives.

A thousand times this. And I don’t think it’s a matter of this-or-that happened so one person had it worse, I think we were both in similar situations with some differences, and both of us were having a pretty bad time, and hooray that we’ve made it to the other side.

aworldanonymous
9 years ago

So far today the partiers have been quiet, I’m going to start blasting opera, jazz, and classical at them whenever they’re being loud once I get my speakers from home.

doctornic
9 years ago

@lowquacks

If you meant Stairways to Heaven, that was an Andrew Denton “Money or the Gun” thing rather than triple j. And the DaaS version is still awesome 🙂

freitag235
freitag235
9 years ago

True metal:

lowquacks
lowquacks
9 years ago

@doctornic

That it was! I think I was confused because I’m fairly sure the album of the performances came out on a JJJ label or something. I don’t listen to the radio or watch TV, so…

freitag235
freitag235
9 years ago
cloudiah
9 years ago

May Elam wake up and find A Voice for Men turned into a site dedicated to DIY artexing, puppy pictures, and Japanese recipes.

Remember, folks, you can already (kind of) do this. Clickie clickie!

Creative Writing Student
Creative Writing Student
9 years ago

Those are seriously trippy cat pictures.

It would be wrong to set up a redirect to the meowbify version of it. Wrong, but funny. Particularly when Paul Elam starts screaming about the evil feminists under a picture of a tubby cotton-wool-ball cat doing a strange dance. Best banner header ever.

( http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l67d3bMluY1qzekdio1_500.gif )

I was thinking something like this ( http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/06/03/british-spies-terrorist-bomb-cupcake-recipe_n_870882.html ), but I think that the bizarre kitties would be funnier.

Also, how does one integrate links into sentences? I seem to have mastered the dreaded blockquotes but I cannot do that. 🙁

cloudiah
9 years ago
ShadetheDruid
ShadetheDruid
9 years ago

I seem to have mastered the dreaded blockquotes

Don’t get complacent, that’s how they get you. 😛

pillowinhell
pillowinhell
9 years ago

Ugh! FC has the some of the guys going on about mandatory paternity testing again.

These guys don’t don’t seem to realize that a) the kids may be his but it doesn’t prove his wife isn’t stepping out, and b) if a partner of mine demanded such a thing, in essence calling me a whore, I’d dump his ass in a New York minute and then he’d be facing the dreaded divorce courts. I think there would be a few women who would do the same, and for those who chose to stay the relationship would be severly strained to say the least.

princessbonbon
9 years ago

I’m going to start blasting opera, jazz, and classical at them whenever they’re being loud once I get my speakers from home.

Just make sure you are not actually a Dalek. 😛

Creative Writing Student
Creative Writing Student
9 years ago

Is this it?

(NSFW or sticklers for historical accuracy.)

Creative Writing Student
Creative Writing Student
9 years ago

YAAAAAAAAAAAY!

As for blockquotes, they really, really like cheese. 😛

katz
9 years ago

I interrupt this post to bring this important announcement: My husband just used “bruschetta” as a verb.

Creative Writing Student
Creative Writing Student
9 years ago

@katz

How?????

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
9 years ago

Well done well done well done! (Sorry, had a Neddy Seagoon moment there.)

Let’s see if this works …

Hadji as a baby

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
9 years ago

Yayyyy!

pillowinhell
pillowinhell
9 years ago

Did he brushetta his hair?

Perhaps he was talking about the excellent brushetta work of the mona lisa?

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
9 years ago

And in other breaking news, I bought a pair of cherry-red French ankle boots last night, for $100 off the usual price!

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
9 years ago

Hey, synchronicity – I posted the ‘other breaking news’ bit before refreshing and seeing your ‘I interrupt this post’ comment, Katz!

Now don’t keep us in suspenders suspense, how did he use bruschetta as a verb?

katz
9 years ago

I suggested bruschetta, and he said “If you want to bruschetta it up, I’m fine with that.”

katz
9 years ago

Also, kitteh, OMG YOU HAVE A SOOTBALL!

cloudiah
9 years ago

thatisthecutestkittenihaveeverseen

M Dubz
M Dubz
9 years ago

@kittehs- truly something to celebrate!

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
9 years ago

“Bruschetta it up” LOL LOL

Mr Hadji was adorable. He was only three weeks old when we got him – he was from a colony of cats where my mum worked and seems to have been abandoned/lost by his mum, maybe when she was moving the nest. He was a tough little bloke, he’d been out on his own 24 hours when Mum found out about him (he was in the car park and someone said “That kitten’s still there.”) He’s about a month old in this pic.

He was with us for fifteen years and left three years ago. Totally darling boy, he had almost no idea about being A Cat. A bird could walk under his nose and he’d take no notice of it at all.

ithiliana
ithiliana
9 years ago

Pat Robertson: no surprise: men should beat their wives

http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/pat-robertson-condone-wife-beating-saudi-arabia

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
9 years ago

Gakk. If anyone has problems, it’s Robertson (I don’t mean psychological problems, just the bog-standard ‘is a total arsehole’ type).

Tulgey Logger
Tulgey Logger
9 years ago

Remember, folks, you can already (kind of) do this. Clickie clickie!

Cloudiah, I will never forgive you for making the comments at AVfM look like a Manboobz thread.

Creative Writing Student
Creative Writing Student
9 years ago

As long as Manboobz never looks like AVfM, I’ll be happy.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
9 years ago

I think I’d take this over anything Robertson could say about anything, ever. It’s a <a href="”>vastly superior religion to anything he could imagine.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
9 years ago

AAAAAGH html fail!

cloudiah
9 years ago

Tulgey, you’ll forgive me once you’ve seen this picture.

Tulgey Logger
Tulgey Logger
9 years ago

DAWWWWWWWWWW

FORGIVENADFL;KAJSDF;LKJ

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
9 years ago

Cloudiah, toooo gorgeous!

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
9 years ago

Okay, let’s try that link again. It’s a religion that isvastly superior to anything Robertson could imagine.