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More manly man-rock from the men of A Voice for Men!

The manly men at A Voice for Men do love their manly music! You may recall the asskickingly asskicking asskickery of “Go My Own Way,” the A Voice for Men anthem, as performed by Jade Michael and the Fuck Their Shit Up Singers Crew. And the “red pill honesty” of Slumberwall’s emo-folk (but totally not wussy) meditation“The Hatred of Women.”

Now, in a post with the dopily macho title “The weekend’s here. Swagger, brothers. Swagger,” AVFM contributor Skeptic presents a new video from his band Dark Star Disco.

No, it doesn’t quite match the terrible grandeur of either of the earlier MRA anthems. The music is utterly unexceptional testosterone-heavy rock-tronica that sounds like it just escaped from the nineties. And it’s 15 minutes long. But Skeptic is quite proud of it, nonetheless. As he describes it, in phrases as clichéd as the song itself:

We are sonically in your face – wall of sound — chainsaw wailing guitar, piercing electro synth and pounding rock rhythms.

Skeptic contributes the guitar – sorry, the “chainsaw wailing guitar” – to the sound. He apparently prefers guitars to women, as they don’t talk back:

I strut on guitar and love it. Nowhere do I feel more alive. Swagger.

I’ve been playing guitar for many years – self-taught. Swagger.

My guitars have helped me cathart during times of feminist insanity more times than I can recall. I truly don’t know how I would have made it this far without playing guitar. For my guitar doesn’t make maddening “man up” BS demands and treat me with misandry as a disposable utility.

The video, even less original, consists of pilfered stock footage of an assortment of putatively manly things, starting with, yes, a missile. (Oh, hello, Dr. Freud1) Let’s let Skeptic describe his creation:

It’s chock full of images men can relate to – a guided missile, eagle and cheetah hunting, jet aircraft and a high powered motorcycle at full throttle, runway dance swagger, military teamwork and bravery, high tech playfulness, raw wilderness, cutting edge scientific research, urban spaces constructed and running at full tilt and moving at a blistering pace into a future city of lights. It’s what men do. It’s cram packed with stuff feminists shit their pants over – unapologetic swaggering masculinity.

I dig it. It’s ballsy.

Just so you know, the “runway dance swagger” in question refers not to a fashion model shaking his or her stuff in a runway show, but to some dude doing a little victory dance on an runway for, like , airplanes.

Of course, Skeptic is making some assumptions here. We don’t actually know the gender of all those flying the planes (or driving the cars, or riding the motorcycle like an asshole) in the video. For the sake of argument, let’s just assume they are all male.

But the cheetah? Either Skeptic thinks all cheetahs are boy cheetahs, or he thinks that girl cheetahs sit on their fat asses eating cheetah bon bons and living off of Cheetalimony. In fact, of course, both male and female cheetahs hunt for their food. That ballsy swaggering masculine cheetah in his video may well be a gal.

If there are any stray misogynists reading this post who are unwilling to accept that female cheetahs can hunt, skip ahead to 1:30 in the video below to see one cheetah mom chase down a gazelle just like the cheetah in Skeptic’s video.

Here, a female cheetah faces down three hyenas to protect her cubs.

In other words, female cheetahs are badasses. So are male cheetahs.

Skeptic is just a plain old jackass.

If any of you actually listened to Dark Star Disco’s little masterpiece, or any of the other songs I linked to above, and need to clear your ears of all that manly man stuff, might I suggest “Crochet,” by Kathleen Hanna’s side project Julie Ruin?

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Awhozawhatzit
Awhozawhatzit
12 years ago

I’m just amused that these guys think electronic rock is manly-man music. Curve would eat their lunch.

aworldanonymous
12 years ago

I’m kind of thinking of starting an industrial progressive death metal act, regardless of how it turns out, it should be better than these guys.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
12 years ago

Do it! You can post it on a site called A Voice For Men Who Are Not Paul Elam.

katz
12 years ago

A Voice For Men Who Are Not Paul Elam

LMAO! Also on Cloudiah’s blog.

Sgt Grumbles
Sgt Grumbles
12 years ago

I know that when I was about 13 I thought I was so clever for listening to Real Music That Wasn’t Like All That Pop Crap, and every now and again I get the feeling that several people in the metal scene haven’t grown out of that secret-club mentality. Add to that that it’s probably the genre with the strongest right-leaning and violent tendencies and most overwhelmingly male fanbase and you’re guaranteed to get a few problems.

Well, gothic metal has a solid female fanbase, at least.

BTW, I still pride myself in listening to Real Music; it’s just that I’ve broadened my tastes. But I can’t say I ever had the mentality that metal was the only worthwhile music.

lowquacks
lowquacks
12 years ago

Isn’t Real Music a bit of a dicey construct, though? We’re all just apes making noises in the end.

Also thanks on the gothic metal bit: I don’t really listen to any of it beyond Katatonia, so I tend to forget the stuff exists. It’s still very much an exception as a genre in terms of having a fanbase that isn’t nearly entirely dudes though.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
12 years ago

That’s the reason why, even though some of the bands are crap, I have no problem covering Visual Kei shows – the audience is usually 90% female, no matter how heavy the band is. They don’t throw tantrums about their treehouse being invaded if more men do show up, either.

M Dubz
M Dubz
12 years ago

I don’t know much about Metal music of any kind, but I think this is hilarious and I bet the resident Metal fans will as well:

… form the tofu into the Sign of the Ancients on the plate… cover with two paper towels.

cloudiah
12 years ago

@aworldanonymous, If you start “an industrial progressive death metal act” I will publish the hell out of it here: http://artistryforfeminismandkittens.wordpress.com/

Hope you’re having fun at college. Even if you aren’t initially, funtimes will present an opportunity if you’re open to them. As a socially awkward person myself, my experience is that my first experiences are often kind of negative, but as I get to know people and learn my footing, I start enjoying things more.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
12 years ago

I love the vegan black metal chef.

This is my favorite metal shows up in unexpected places moment – a metal band in full costume goes to the Eurovision Song Contest, bafflement and hilarity ensues.

Fembot
Fembot
12 years ago

Totally OT, but I went to the Spearhead again, and found this from Daryl X.

Actually men are much better at deciding what’s fair than women. Men are fundamental to civilization and women are not. Men possess a much stronger intellect which women do not. Women are herd animals and men are not. Men built civilization and women did not. Men are not as prone to violent behavior as women. Men are more patient than women. Men are more thoughtful than women. Men are less manipulative than women. Men are more independent than women. All these qualities and many more make men much better stewards of women than women do of men. Simply put, women should not be allowed to vote, have jobs or own property. They will be more free that way and so will men. Women are simply self destructive. Giving them stewardship over men and civilization is nothing but a catastrophe.

See, MRAs don’t HATE women. We just want them to be FREE!! Aaaarrrglebargle. Retch.

cloudiah
12 years ago

VEGAN BLACK METAL CHEF NINJA has happened.

M Dubz
M Dubz
12 years ago

Best ninjas are vegan black metal chef ninjas.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
12 years ago

Especially if they’re thoughtful enough to leave you dinner.

ragefromthebasement
12 years ago

Someone should slap me every time I go to the Spearhead.

Why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why did I go there?

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
12 years ago

The conversation earlier prompted me to actually read some of the comment on YouTube, and wow, you think metal fans are ridiculous in actual forums? On this one, we have some kid who thinks that Lordi are actual, for real monsters.

And on this one we have people arguing about how those who listen to other bands are posers, not really metal, etc…in the comments of a video from a band whose album title is a slightly tweaked version of the word “abracadabra”, one of whose members is dressed up like Clive Barker character meets Monsters Inc. It’s totes serious and hardcore, you guys, show some respect!

ShadetheDruid
ShadetheDruid
12 years ago

Ohh, interesting derail. I’m not hugely knowledgable about metal/metal culture so most of this is a mystery to me. 😛

I guess you could say i’m a metal fan though, at least power metal anyway (Sonata Arctica ftw). I’m not really into the “heavier” metal genres.

Myoo
Myoo
12 years ago

I’m not really a metal fan, and I think that’s partly because of what I have heard referred to as “cookie monster voice”, it is silly at best and seriously annoying at worst. I kind of like it when I hear metal that doesn’t have that.

ShadetheDruid
ShadetheDruid
12 years ago

Myoo: Yeah, that’s half the reason I stick to power metal, the other half being that power metal has a tune to it rather than a “rumbley noise”. The latter is more of a dealbreaker for me, because if it has the awesome epic tuneage with growly voice (like, say, Wintersun – though they’re sort of half and half rather than pure growlyness), i’ll still enjoy it.

There’s no way I can make this comment not sound really judgey when I don’t mean it to be, so apologies to people who like the stuff I don’t. 😛

Amused
12 years ago

“Cathart”? Is that English?

Also, evidently Sceptic doesn’t understand what the word “catharsis” means.

Sarah Dalton
Sarah Dalton
12 years ago

@lowquacks
Yeah, that’s legit

00mpal00mpa
00mpal00mpa
12 years ago

I think a lot of ’70s UK heavy metal groups had a subtle sense of humour that’s not as common any more in traditionalist metal. You do get straight-out jokey bands influenced by that stuff, normally on the
lighter side, your Darknesses and what have you, but I couldn’t ever imagine, say, 3 Inches of Blood, to pick a particularly Priesty band, being quite as much fun to listen to.

Um, lowquack, you are confusing metal with progrock(progressive rock). Progrock is NOT A FORM OF METAL! The Darkness for example is progrock. Progrock is definitely more optimistic, more humorous, and is seldom violent or nihilistic the way metal is.

Subtle humor can be amusing, but it has to have a satirical, ironic element to it. Otherwise it comes across as pretentious and totally lame(like monty python). I’ve always admired humor that both ironic and pushes the limits of social acceptability.As far as metal goes though, I find cannibal corpse to be totally hilarious even though they are rather juvenile and their lyrics are pertty damn sick.

I’ve always liked the old British heavy metal bands like Iron Maiden and Venom. Not to mention speed metal from the early to mid 80s like Queensryche, Dio,& Judas Priest.And I went through a phase of loving Satanic Death metal in the early 90s.

In conclusion, I totally think that MRAs need to stop whining on the internet about feminism, pick up guitars, and learn to rawk out! Music is one of the most effective and powerful tools for attracting women. In the words of my friend Rachael:

Not gonna lie, guitar players make the panties drop

00mpal00mpa
00mpal00mpa
12 years ago

@lowquacks: You are confusing metal with progressive rock. The Darkness is progrock and not metal. You are correct that progrock is much less dark, violent, and nihilistic than metal and quite often has a sense of humor.

00mpal00mpa
00mpal00mpa
12 years ago

Also, if MRAs would stop whining on the internets about feminism and spend their time rocking out, they’d finally be able to get chicks and learn to appreciate women. In the words of my friend Rachael:

Not gonna lie, guitar players make the panties drop

And who says modern death metal can’t be funny?! I find Cannibal Corpse to be hilarious, despite being rather juvenile and pertty damn sick lyrically.

twomoogles
twomoogles
12 years ago

Okay, so he’s complaining about being told to ‘man up’. Then posting images of stereotypically manly things. Even though most of the time it’s those ‘stereotypically manly’ guys telling *each other* to man up.

Most feminists object to the ‘man up’ ‘boys don’t cry’ stuff! Patriarchy hurts men too, and all that. Most women I know who want men to be tough and emotionless are not, in any way, feminists.

Maybe that’s the problem. MRAs see women who like traditional gender roles, and want to be paid for on dates and see things as woman=protected man=protector. Then they also hear about feminists who want women to have as many opportunities as men, for everyone to choose based on temperament and not gender. And somehow conflate the two, so women want the trappings of traditional femininity (chivalry etc) along with the benefits of equal rights…? I don’t even know.

Or maybe these guys are just assholes.