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More manly man-rock from the men of A Voice for Men!

The manly men at A Voice for Men do love their manly music! You may recall the asskickingly asskicking asskickery of “Go My Own Way,” the A Voice for Men anthem, as performed by Jade Michael and the Fuck Their Shit Up Singers Crew. And the “red pill honesty” of Slumberwall’s emo-folk (but totally not wussy) meditation“The Hatred of Women.”

Now, in a post with the dopily macho title “The weekend’s here. Swagger, brothers. Swagger,” AVFM contributor Skeptic presents a new video from his band Dark Star Disco.

No, it doesn’t quite match the terrible grandeur of either of the earlier MRA anthems. The music is utterly unexceptional testosterone-heavy rock-tronica that sounds like it just escaped from the nineties. And it’s 15 minutes long. But Skeptic is quite proud of it, nonetheless. As he describes it, in phrases as clichéd as the song itself:

We are sonically in your face – wall of sound — chainsaw wailing guitar, piercing electro synth and pounding rock rhythms.

Skeptic contributes the guitar – sorry, the “chainsaw wailing guitar” – to the sound. He apparently prefers guitars to women, as they don’t talk back:

I strut on guitar and love it. Nowhere do I feel more alive. Swagger.

I’ve been playing guitar for many years – self-taught. Swagger.

My guitars have helped me cathart during times of feminist insanity more times than I can recall. I truly don’t know how I would have made it this far without playing guitar. For my guitar doesn’t make maddening “man up” BS demands and treat me with misandry as a disposable utility.

The video, even less original, consists of pilfered stock footage of an assortment of putatively manly things, starting with, yes, a missile. (Oh, hello, Dr. Freud1) Let’s let Skeptic describe his creation:

It’s chock full of images men can relate to – a guided missile, eagle and cheetah hunting, jet aircraft and a high powered motorcycle at full throttle, runway dance swagger, military teamwork and bravery, high tech playfulness, raw wilderness, cutting edge scientific research, urban spaces constructed and running at full tilt and moving at a blistering pace into a future city of lights. It’s what men do. It’s cram packed with stuff feminists shit their pants over – unapologetic swaggering masculinity.

I dig it. It’s ballsy.

Just so you know, the “runway dance swagger” in question refers not to a fashion model shaking his or her stuff in a runway show, but to some dude doing a little victory dance on an runway for, like , airplanes.

Of course, Skeptic is making some assumptions here. We don’t actually know the gender of all those flying the planes (or driving the cars, or riding the motorcycle like an asshole) in the video. For the sake of argument, let’s just assume they are all male.

But the cheetah? Either Skeptic thinks all cheetahs are boy cheetahs, or he thinks that girl cheetahs sit on their fat asses eating cheetah bon bons and living off of Cheetalimony. In fact, of course, both male and female cheetahs hunt for their food. That ballsy swaggering masculine cheetah in his video may well be a gal.

If there are any stray misogynists reading this post who are unwilling to accept that female cheetahs can hunt, skip ahead to 1:30 in the video below to see one cheetah mom chase down a gazelle just like the cheetah in Skeptic’s video.

Here, a female cheetah faces down three hyenas to protect her cubs.

In other words, female cheetahs are badasses. So are male cheetahs.

Skeptic is just a plain old jackass.

If any of you actually listened to Dark Star Disco’s little masterpiece, or any of the other songs I linked to above, and need to clear your ears of all that manly man stuff, might I suggest “Crochet,” by Kathleen Hanna’s side project Julie Ruin?

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CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

Also, there seem to be quite a few MRAs of the casual sex is evil (for women) persuasion, social conservatives like our friend Slavey. In the event that they ever find themselves backstage at a metal show they’re going to be rather distressed.

BlueBee
BlueBee
8 years ago

A Voice for Men is ruining my life. Argh.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

Oh man, I’d forgotten the Breaking the Law video had synchronized almost-line-dancing bits. It’s like one of the gang fights from West Side Story with leather pants and guitars.

The whole riding in the car with the top down thing doesn’t have quite the same effect when you’re in cold, windy England.

lowquacks
lowquacks
8 years ago

@CassandraSays

I read it as a Status Quo thing, but that’s hilarious.

katz
8 years ago

Can I just say that I know fuck-all about metal but am really enjoying this conversation.

Guy Noir
Guy Noir
8 years ago

@lowquacks

The Painkiller album was a moment of cleansing for Priest, after “Turbo” and “Ram it Down;” total metal-guitar awesomeness, the Painkiller record.

I have to comment on this MRA guitarist: he does not play leads on any of his youtube tracks. He “riffs,” he “jams,” like my 10-year-old guitar students, and it looks like he thinks he’s really awesome for it, like my 10-year-old guitar students think they’re so cool! The music is very repetitive—very repetitive! This is really funny/ironic, because in rock guitar culture, and especially in heavy metal guitar culture, it’s all about your leads, your “chops.” Your prowess, your status, comes from technique, speed, cleverness in lead/solo playing. This MRA guitarist would be considered a “poser,” no one would take his playing seriously.

lowquacks
lowquacks
8 years ago

@Guy Noir

I kinda see where you’re coming from, but you are talking about a very well-respected band that had a guitar configuration probably best described as “dual rhythm”.

Here we’ve got KK Downing (Glenn Tipton?) hammering a F# for 5 minutes: (there’s a small break, but still)

Sloppy, unoriginal rhythm guitar though? I get where you’re coming for with that being poserly.

I was never really a Metallica fan, but see also James Hetfields’ playing being as respected as much or more than Kirk Hammet’s pentatonic-licks-really-fast-with-wah.

lowquacks
lowquacks
8 years ago

I’m almost completely disengaged from anything you might call a “metal culture”, and particularly from guitar culture, though, though I do love both metal and guitars.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

@ Guy Noir

Funny you should mention the repetition issue, because I finally moved on the a review CD that I don’t like, and that’s the reason why. I’m on track 7 and I feel like I’ve been listening to the same 60 seconds on loop for half an hour, with slightly varying Cookie Monster vocals. Why do bands do this? Metal shouldn’t make you feel like taking a nap.

@lowquacks

My engagement with metal culture is mostly turn up for a show, get leers and hostile comments about what is a girl doing in the press pit, then stand at the back and try not to let any of the obnoxious drunk guys spill beer on me. It’s not that I mind crowds and pushing – I’m fine at punk shows. It’s just that a lot of metal crowds are, um, not the most enlightened people. It’s always awesome when you go to a show and it doesn’t have that vibe.

Interestingly enough I found metal crowds a lot friendlier and more fun in the UK than here. I had a great time at Donnington the year that I saw Iron Maiden, and you don’t get much more metal than that.

thebewilderness
thebewilderness
8 years ago

I think the Swagger brothers Dark Star Disco need a lot more cowbell.

lowquacks
lowquacks
8 years ago

I get the feeling that metal as a thing is treated as far more serious and manly and obviously superior to and different from other music in the US, which could be a part of it.

I know that when I was about 13 I thought I was so clever for listening to Real Music That Wasn’t Like All That Pop Crap, and every now and again I get the feeling that several people in the metal scene haven’t grown out of that secret-club mentality. Add to that that it’s probably the genre with the strongest right-leaning and violent tendencies and most overwhelmingly male fanbase and you’re guaranteed to get a few problems.

That said, there are heaps of fantastic people who love metal and play metal and go to metal shows and so on.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

I actually met one of those liking metal makes you so superior guys when I first got to the US. What made it hilarious was that he was in his mid 30s, and his favorite band was Dokken.

Hardcore, dude.

lowquacks
lowquacks
8 years ago

Rock on, dude! Yeah, the attitude does seem to go along with non-extreme metal, or the more accessible/widely-available extreme metal (very basic Norwegian black metal, Gothenburg death, or your Lambs of God and Deicides and so on in a US context)

hellkell
hellkell
8 years ago

Foxy Shazam’s “Holy Touch” has the humor of The Darkness and Priest, and the whole the whole song is such tongue-in-cheek cheese that I almost piss myself laughing every time I hear it.

I saw Slayer once, and it was probably one of the best live shows I’ve ever been to.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

Defensiveness because you know that your metalhead peers think that your favorite bands are all weaksauce? Sounds like a possibility.

Lamb of God has an odd crowd here. Again, I have nothing against moshpits, but when every single person comes out bleeding I start thinking that maybe folks need to find a better way to either channel their aggression or prove their manly toughness. The most fun crowds I can remember were for Boris (stoner metal), Russian Circles (too nerdy for people to get mean, maybe), and Apocalyptica (how mean and hardcore can you really get when you’re watching a band do Metallica covers with cellos?).

lowquacks
lowquacks
8 years ago

@hellkell

I introduced one of my cheesy-rock-loving friends to Foxy Shazam, and they soon became her favourite band. Of course, when I’m publically thanked for this via facebook, it’s using this racist piece-of-crap song. Ugh, though they’d always been slightly guilty of racial fetishism. I love early Foxy, but with the exception of that one song they do seem to have collapsed into an Airbourne-level hard-rock-photocopy act recently

lowquacks
lowquacks
8 years ago

cont: The Darkness have a new album out I’m avoiding for fear of similar disappointment.

@CassandraSays

Do you have anything in the way of metal qualifications? I’ve been arguing that Boris should count as metal with one friend for ages.

lowquacks
lowquacks
8 years ago

Defensiveness because you know that your metalhead peers think that your favorite bands are all weaksauce? Sounds like a possibility.

It’s probably more that these people are reasonably recently into metal, or haven’t done much examination of it, both of which would go nicely with being into fairly well-known bands, and don’t realise how silly everything can look from the outside and how much metal just another type of music.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

@ lowquacks

It’s like the old definition of porn, you know it when you see/hear it? Over here Boris is typically considered metal, and they’re on a label that does nothing except stoner metal. They’re a lot of fun live, btw, if you ever get the chance to see them.

lowquacks
lowquacks
8 years ago

This is all really lovely, by the way, so thanks to any Men Boobzer not into metal who’ve kept out of the way here (though you really don’t have to; this is probably the most derail-friendly comments section ever). I haven’t properly listened to or talked about or engaged with heavy music properly in ages.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

Seconded – thank you, tolerant of derails fellow commenters. A lot of metal forums are so full of pretentious annoying crap that I don’t get to talk about it as often as I’d like.

Which is especially funny when you’re talking about the Nordic black metal or power metal stuff. Dude, you are wearing a fucking Viking hat and/or corpse-paint makeup – have some perspective.

lowquacks
lowquacks
8 years ago

Yeah, not sure if it was clear before but I’d call Boris metal – Pink in particular struck me as “insane Japanese Motorhead”. I see very little non-local-and-cheap live music because of a limited disposable income and preferring to go with friends, who often don’t want to travel to the city or don’t like stuff I like, but I’ll keep that in mind if they come down this way.

lowquacks
lowquacks
8 years ago

@CassandraSays

I can never tell how much of the “tr00 kvlt” and “br00tal” stuff is facetious/in fun/self-aware and how much is serious, so I tend to assume it’s the second if I’m reading any metal stuff online, and that does make things a bit easier.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

I like to pretend that they’re mostly being facetious – less depressing that way.

If that’s not the case…enjoy your hats, guys.

pecunium
8 years ago

Why should we mind your derails? It’s even civil. 🙂

Awhozawhatzit
Awhozawhatzit
8 years ago

I’m just amused that these guys think electronic rock is manly-man music. Curve would eat their lunch.

aworldanonymous
8 years ago

I’m kind of thinking of starting an industrial progressive death metal act, regardless of how it turns out, it should be better than these guys.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

Do it! You can post it on a site called A Voice For Men Who Are Not Paul Elam.

katz
8 years ago

A Voice For Men Who Are Not Paul Elam

LMAO! Also on Cloudiah’s blog.

Sgt Grumbles
Sgt Grumbles
8 years ago

I know that when I was about 13 I thought I was so clever for listening to Real Music That Wasn’t Like All That Pop Crap, and every now and again I get the feeling that several people in the metal scene haven’t grown out of that secret-club mentality. Add to that that it’s probably the genre with the strongest right-leaning and violent tendencies and most overwhelmingly male fanbase and you’re guaranteed to get a few problems.

Well, gothic metal has a solid female fanbase, at least.

BTW, I still pride myself in listening to Real Music; it’s just that I’ve broadened my tastes. But I can’t say I ever had the mentality that metal was the only worthwhile music.

lowquacks
lowquacks
8 years ago

Isn’t Real Music a bit of a dicey construct, though? We’re all just apes making noises in the end.

Also thanks on the gothic metal bit: I don’t really listen to any of it beyond Katatonia, so I tend to forget the stuff exists. It’s still very much an exception as a genre in terms of having a fanbase that isn’t nearly entirely dudes though.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

That’s the reason why, even though some of the bands are crap, I have no problem covering Visual Kei shows – the audience is usually 90% female, no matter how heavy the band is. They don’t throw tantrums about their treehouse being invaded if more men do show up, either.

M Dubz
M Dubz
8 years ago

I don’t know much about Metal music of any kind, but I think this is hilarious and I bet the resident Metal fans will as well:

… form the tofu into the Sign of the Ancients on the plate… cover with two paper towels.

cloudiah
8 years ago

@aworldanonymous, If you start “an industrial progressive death metal act” I will publish the hell out of it here: http://artistryforfeminismandkittens.wordpress.com/

Hope you’re having fun at college. Even if you aren’t initially, funtimes will present an opportunity if you’re open to them. As a socially awkward person myself, my experience is that my first experiences are often kind of negative, but as I get to know people and learn my footing, I start enjoying things more.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

I love the vegan black metal chef.

This is my favorite metal shows up in unexpected places moment – a metal band in full costume goes to the Eurovision Song Contest, bafflement and hilarity ensues.

Fembot
8 years ago

Totally OT, but I went to the Spearhead again, and found this from Daryl X.

Actually men are much better at deciding what’s fair than women. Men are fundamental to civilization and women are not. Men possess a much stronger intellect which women do not. Women are herd animals and men are not. Men built civilization and women did not. Men are not as prone to violent behavior as women. Men are more patient than women. Men are more thoughtful than women. Men are less manipulative than women. Men are more independent than women. All these qualities and many more make men much better stewards of women than women do of men. Simply put, women should not be allowed to vote, have jobs or own property. They will be more free that way and so will men. Women are simply self destructive. Giving them stewardship over men and civilization is nothing but a catastrophe.

See, MRAs don’t HATE women. We just want them to be FREE!! Aaaarrrglebargle. Retch.

cloudiah
8 years ago

VEGAN BLACK METAL CHEF NINJA has happened.

M Dubz
M Dubz
8 years ago

Best ninjas are vegan black metal chef ninjas.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

Especially if they’re thoughtful enough to leave you dinner.

ragefromthebasement
8 years ago

Someone should slap me every time I go to the Spearhead.

Why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why did I go there?

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

The conversation earlier prompted me to actually read some of the comment on YouTube, and wow, you think metal fans are ridiculous in actual forums? On this one, we have some kid who thinks that Lordi are actual, for real monsters.

And on this one we have people arguing about how those who listen to other bands are posers, not really metal, etc…in the comments of a video from a band whose album title is a slightly tweaked version of the word “abracadabra”, one of whose members is dressed up like Clive Barker character meets Monsters Inc. It’s totes serious and hardcore, you guys, show some respect!

ShadetheDruid
ShadetheDruid
8 years ago

Ohh, interesting derail. I’m not hugely knowledgable about metal/metal culture so most of this is a mystery to me. 😛

I guess you could say i’m a metal fan though, at least power metal anyway (Sonata Arctica ftw). I’m not really into the “heavier” metal genres.

Myoo
Myoo
8 years ago

I’m not really a metal fan, and I think that’s partly because of what I have heard referred to as “cookie monster voice”, it is silly at best and seriously annoying at worst. I kind of like it when I hear metal that doesn’t have that.

ShadetheDruid
ShadetheDruid
8 years ago

Myoo: Yeah, that’s half the reason I stick to power metal, the other half being that power metal has a tune to it rather than a “rumbley noise”. The latter is more of a dealbreaker for me, because if it has the awesome epic tuneage with growly voice (like, say, Wintersun – though they’re sort of half and half rather than pure growlyness), i’ll still enjoy it.

There’s no way I can make this comment not sound really judgey when I don’t mean it to be, so apologies to people who like the stuff I don’t. 😛

Amused
8 years ago

“Cathart”? Is that English?

Also, evidently Sceptic doesn’t understand what the word “catharsis” means.

Sarah Dalton
Sarah Dalton
8 years ago

@lowquacks
Yeah, that’s legit

00mpal00mpa
00mpal00mpa
8 years ago

I think a lot of ’70s UK heavy metal groups had a subtle sense of humour that’s not as common any more in traditionalist metal. You do get straight-out jokey bands influenced by that stuff, normally on the
lighter side, your Darknesses and what have you, but I couldn’t ever imagine, say, 3 Inches of Blood, to pick a particularly Priesty band, being quite as much fun to listen to.

Um, lowquack, you are confusing metal with progrock(progressive rock). Progrock is NOT A FORM OF METAL! The Darkness for example is progrock. Progrock is definitely more optimistic, more humorous, and is seldom violent or nihilistic the way metal is.

Subtle humor can be amusing, but it has to have a satirical, ironic element to it. Otherwise it comes across as pretentious and totally lame(like monty python). I’ve always admired humor that both ironic and pushes the limits of social acceptability.As far as metal goes though, I find cannibal corpse to be totally hilarious even though they are rather juvenile and their lyrics are pertty damn sick.

I’ve always liked the old British heavy metal bands like Iron Maiden and Venom. Not to mention speed metal from the early to mid 80s like Queensryche, Dio,& Judas Priest.And I went through a phase of loving Satanic Death metal in the early 90s.

In conclusion, I totally think that MRAs need to stop whining on the internet about feminism, pick up guitars, and learn to rawk out! Music is one of the most effective and powerful tools for attracting women. In the words of my friend Rachael:

Not gonna lie, guitar players make the panties drop

00mpal00mpa
00mpal00mpa
8 years ago

@lowquacks: You are confusing metal with progressive rock. The Darkness is progrock and not metal. You are correct that progrock is much less dark, violent, and nihilistic than metal and quite often has a sense of humor.

00mpal00mpa
00mpal00mpa
8 years ago

Also, if MRAs would stop whining on the internets about feminism and spend their time rocking out, they’d finally be able to get chicks and learn to appreciate women. In the words of my friend Rachael:

Not gonna lie, guitar players make the panties drop

And who says modern death metal can’t be funny?! I find Cannibal Corpse to be hilarious, despite being rather juvenile and pertty damn sick lyrically.

twomoogles
twomoogles
8 years ago

Okay, so he’s complaining about being told to ‘man up’. Then posting images of stereotypically manly things. Even though most of the time it’s those ‘stereotypically manly’ guys telling *each other* to man up.

Most feminists object to the ‘man up’ ‘boys don’t cry’ stuff! Patriarchy hurts men too, and all that. Most women I know who want men to be tough and emotionless are not, in any way, feminists.

Maybe that’s the problem. MRAs see women who like traditional gender roles, and want to be paid for on dates and see things as woman=protected man=protector. Then they also hear about feminists who want women to have as many opportunities as men, for everyone to choose based on temperament and not gender. And somehow conflate the two, so women want the trappings of traditional femininity (chivalry etc) along with the benefits of equal rights…? I don’t even know.

Or maybe these guys are just assholes.