Some misogynists seem to have a really difficult time telling the difference between consensual kinkiness and domestic violence. Over on the Happier Abroad forums, our old friend Peter-Andrew: Nolan(c) – who doesn’t really seem to be all that happy, honestly – tells the fellows about a woman he recently met. (Note: the faux ellipses in the quotes to follow are all from the original.)
I am now able to look a woman in the eyes, even from some distance, and know if she is a decent woman or not. I only developed this two years or so ago and have only had it happen 4 times. I am not saying that it is ONLY these women who are decent women….I am saying that the 4 this has happened to turned out to be pretty good women…
By a “pretty good woman” he seems to mean a woman who hates women nearly as much as he does:
when asking about my view of women I have been absolutely straightforward and to the point….her response “AT LAST…..a man who really knows what we are like….that makes me feel so much better because I do not have to worry about trying to present myself as I am not…..you already really know what we are like!”
She is HAPPY that I describe women as mostly liars and manipulators who try to get men to do what they want…..it is a RELIEF for her to meet such a man…..how about that?
And, even better, she likes to be spanked!
she openly says that she felt that if we were together with her strong personality she would be likely to provoke me and try to hurt me emotionally…..to which I replied “if you are naughty I will put you over my knee and spank you”..to which she replied “and I shall be naughty to make sure I am spanked”.
I was telling this new lady I met about this and how I had spanked my daughter when she was willful and naughty as well as my fav#1……she almost SWOONED at the idea of being spanked for being naughty….It was as clear as day she was very interested in getting herself spanked for being naughty…..I noticed this and pointed it out….she tried to deny it.
Uh, if she just told you she wanted to “be naughty to make sure” she’d be spanked, why would she deny this a minute later?
Somehow I suspect that this conversation didn’t transpire exactly as Mr. Nolan says it did.
In any case, our intrepid storyteller moves on to elaborate on his perverse (and not in a good way) sexualized defense of child abuse:
I said to her “it is completely normal for a girl to want to provoke her father into needing to spank her, once he does she knows he is big and strong and will protect her and provide for her….she feel more comfortable, more secure, and she will often cuddle up to her father and feel very good towards him after being spanked….my daughter did that all the time…..I bet you did that with your father too…..
And then on to a defense of violence against women:
This need does not go away just because the girl becomes a woman…..she still needs to provoke her man and he still needs to spank her so that she feels he is strong and powerful and can protect and provide for her……that is how women are.
Apparently men can’t truly “bond” with women without hitting them:
This is why it is such a disaster to say “never hit women”…..it destroys the womans ability to bond closely with the man via a good spanking. It destroys her ability to feel the security of protector and provider….something she needs…indeed….it is so insane now they call that “domestic violence” and the man can go to jail for doing what the woman needs to be done for her.”
She just shook her head and said “you are so right”……I am wondering if we will see much more of each other.
I certainly hope not.
Happily, there’s every reason to believe that this conversation is a product of Nolan’s imagination; he seems to live in a world all his own.
NOTE: Thanks to Sandra in the comments for pointing me to this horrible comment.
EDITED TO ADD: Mr. Nolan (c) has responded in the comments here, and over on Happier Abroad in more detail. Apparently I totally misrepresented him because I wasn’t able to figure out from his badly written comment that he was talking about two different women who loved being spanked. Also, because I mentioned his name with the weird punctuation , he thinks I am “subject to the fee of 1,000 troy ounces of 99.9% pure gold should I choose to levy it.” (You see, Mr. Nolan (c) has set up his own international court system in his own head, in which mentioning his name with that little copyright symbol attached to it apparently means that you owe him lots of gold.) I haven’t read all of his comments; I’m afraid I’ll end up owing him even more gold if I do.
I don’t think it’s actually possible to have a worse understanding of the law than Nolan.
Question, in case he does show up – if someone infringes on his trademark by using his name and the penalty is to be paid in X ounces of Troy gold, how is the person being fined supposed to get their hands on the gold? It’s not like you can just walk into a store and go “I’d like 15 ounces of Troy gold, please”.
Not unless you think that “the law” is a type of regional delicacy from Patagonia.
According to QI the other night, you should be able to get 15 ounces of gold by melting down about half a ton of mobile phones. Stephen Fry said it, so it must be true 😉
I’ve just seen that I left out an “evidence” after “overwhelming” and there should be a “hilarious” before “paranoia” if the “equally” is to make sense.
I’m a terrible writer, I know. It’s all down to vile misandry. Vile vile vile. Did I say it was vile?
This is slightly tangential but still very funny – a forensic debunking of the rumor that Samsung paid its $1bn fine to Apple in nickels.
From The Queenslander newspaper, 1922
http://trove.nla.gov.au/ndp/del/article/27427600?searchTerm=misandry&searchLimits=sortby=dateAsc#pstart2508883
Damned if I can find it, but in his ‘official’ copyright notice (the one that’s a contract you agree to by existing) there’s a big long list of things he’s allowed to seize to make up the value of the gold.
Presumably this why Peter-Andrew: Nolan(c) writes his name in such a ridiculous fashion?
But I’m not aware that you can copyright anything like that – you might be able to trademark it, but even then I doubt that it would prevent people from mocking Peter-Andrew: Nolan(c) under the name Peter-Andrew: Nolan(c). After all, we’re technically supposed to refer to people winning an Oscar®, but not even Wikipedia respects this.
Still, if I’m wrong, a lawsuit will be hitting my doormat from Peter-Andrew: Nolan(c)’s lawyers any day now. I wonder if they’ll be able to keep a straight face when writing it?
Yep, that’s why he does it. And you’re right, he can’t copyright it. There are a handful of reasons you can’t copyright your name, and adding some punctuation doesn’t help.
Nolan is a ‘Sovereign Citizen’, as they call themselves, a mixed group of conspiracy theorists and con artists who claim that some combination of the 14th amendment and the Universal Commercial Code make them not actually citizens of the United States, and therefore not bound by its laws, but only the common law (a concept they badly misunderstand).
They also, through a spectacular inability to grasp the concept of fiat currency, believe that when the dollar was moved off of a metal standard it became literally backed by the people of the United States. From there, they somehow get the idea that that means there is a secret treasury account in each person’s name that holds all the money they’re backing, and through some bureaucratic magic they can claim it and become fabulously wealthy.
The thing that gives PA:N(c) his extra twist of hilarity is that, despite believing in a conspiracy theory that hinges entirely on bizarre interpretations of US law, he does not actually live in the US.
Noadi writes
A) Slander is spoken, libel is written.
B) It’s not slander or libel if it’s true.
Slander and libel are both defamation so you’re splitting hairs over a minor error in nomenclature
B. is not correct in England. Even if something is technically true it may still be actionable as defamation
It’s not just that you can’t copyright your name just by adding some weird punctuation and saying “this is now copywrited”, the other problem is that mentioning a name that’s copyrighted is not usually a violation of copyright. If I create an ad campaign and use the Nike swoosh without Nike’s permission, then I’ve breached their copyright. If I write a blog post titled “The Nike shoes are really ugly and not at all comfortable”, then I have not breached their copyright, I’ve just made a comment about their product.
The shoes = these shoes, and “this is now copywrited” should be “this is now copyrighted”. Apparently MRA grammar and sentence structure fail is infectious.
See, here’s an experiment.
APPLE. Apple products, OSX, iPad. Apple Apple Apple.
Watch Apple not sue me.
Watch me quote something from Apple’s website!
“Pick up the new iPad and suddenly, it’s clear. You’re actually touching your photos, reading a book, playing the piano. Nothing comes between you and what you love. To make that hands-on experience even better, we made the fundamental elements of iPad better — the display, the camera, the wireless connection. All of which makes the new, third-generation iPad capable of so much more than you ever imagined.”
Observe how simply quoting this, while telling you where the text came from, is not a violation of copyright.
So are you saying that if I call Peter-Andrew: Nolan (c) a delusional buffoon, he can’t touch me? That comes as a huge relief, I have to say.
That mention of Portakabin brought back a happy memory of the first time I saw the name, on a visit to the UK in the ’80s. Took a while for me to realise it’s just a silly spelling of “porta-cabin”. I was saying it “por take-a bin”. Which I still thinks sounds much better. 🙂
PS KittehServant = Kittehs’ Unpaid Help, WordPress just keeps mucking about with my umpteen screen names.
Apple Apple Apple.
Now I’m hungry.
Try shopping for skincare stuff from a brand called SkinFood and then see how starving you are. I really didn’t need them to get me thinking about black sesame ice cream at 4 am.
Do we have a plan in place just in case Cassandra gets sent to Apple Jail (c) ?
That is, a jail run by Apple where they put people that break their rules, not a jail made of apples.
If I get sent to Apple Jail you can come break me out by eating through some of the apples. It will be the most delicious rescue mission of all time.
The baby chick brain bleach caused me to be accosted by my cat. She was suddenly very interested in where I was hiding her noms.
I am The~Anti;Nolan©
What about all those guys who want a woman who is a dominatrix? Do they likewise prove boys want to be spanked by their mothers then grow up to be spanked by their wives? It’s the same thing only in reverse. Basically, this guy takes what a small percentage of women want and claim it’s what we all want. It’s bullshit.