Some misogynists seem to have a really difficult time telling the difference between consensual kinkiness and domestic violence. Over on the Happier Abroad forums, our old friend Peter-Andrew: Nolan(c) – who doesn’t really seem to be all that happy, honestly – tells the fellows about a woman he recently met. (Note: the faux ellipses in the quotes to follow are all from the original.)
I am now able to look a woman in the eyes, even from some distance, and know if she is a decent woman or not. I only developed this two years or so ago and have only had it happen 4 times. I am not saying that it is ONLY these women who are decent women….I am saying that the 4 this has happened to turned out to be pretty good women…
By a “pretty good woman” he seems to mean a woman who hates women nearly as much as he does:
when asking about my view of women I have been absolutely straightforward and to the point….her response “AT LAST…..a man who really knows what we are like….that makes me feel so much better because I do not have to worry about trying to present myself as I am not…..you already really know what we are like!”
She is HAPPY that I describe women as mostly liars and manipulators who try to get men to do what they want…..it is a RELIEF for her to meet such a man…..how about that?
And, even better, she likes to be spanked!
she openly says that she felt that if we were together with her strong personality she would be likely to provoke me and try to hurt me emotionally…..to which I replied “if you are naughty I will put you over my knee and spank you”..to which she replied “and I shall be naughty to make sure I am spanked”.
I was telling this new lady I met about this and how I had spanked my daughter when she was willful and naughty as well as my fav#1……she almost SWOONED at the idea of being spanked for being naughty….It was as clear as day she was very interested in getting herself spanked for being naughty…..I noticed this and pointed it out….she tried to deny it.
Uh, if she just told you she wanted to “be naughty to make sure” she’d be spanked, why would she deny this a minute later?
Somehow I suspect that this conversation didn’t transpire exactly as Mr. Nolan says it did.
In any case, our intrepid storyteller moves on to elaborate on his perverse (and not in a good way) sexualized defense of child abuse:
I said to her “it is completely normal for a girl to want to provoke her father into needing to spank her, once he does she knows he is big and strong and will protect her and provide for her….she feel more comfortable, more secure, and she will often cuddle up to her father and feel very good towards him after being spanked….my daughter did that all the time…..I bet you did that with your father too…..
And then on to a defense of violence against women:
This need does not go away just because the girl becomes a woman…..she still needs to provoke her man and he still needs to spank her so that she feels he is strong and powerful and can protect and provide for her……that is how women are.
Apparently men can’t truly “bond” with women without hitting them:
This is why it is such a disaster to say “never hit women”…..it destroys the womans ability to bond closely with the man via a good spanking. It destroys her ability to feel the security of protector and provider….something she needs…indeed….it is so insane now they call that “domestic violence” and the man can go to jail for doing what the woman needs to be done for her.”
She just shook her head and said “you are so right”……I am wondering if we will see much more of each other.
I certainly hope not.
Happily, there’s every reason to believe that this conversation is a product of Nolan’s imagination; he seems to live in a world all his own.
NOTE: Thanks to Sandra in the comments for pointing me to this horrible comment.
EDITED TO ADD: Mr. Nolan (c) has responded in the comments here, and over on Happier Abroad in more detail. Apparently I totally misrepresented him because I wasn’t able to figure out from his badly written comment that he was talking about two different women who loved being spanked. Also, because I mentioned his name with the weird punctuation , he thinks I am “subject to the fee of 1,000 troy ounces of 99.9% pure gold should I choose to levy it.” (You see, Mr. Nolan (c) has set up his own international court system in his own head, in which mentioning his name with that little copyright symbol attached to it apparently means that you owe him lots of gold.) I haven’t read all of his comments; I’m afraid I’ll end up owing him even more gold if I do.
You mean the prequels didn’t already do it?
Reading Steele’s stuff in the voice of Eddie Izzard doing James Mason works for me.
For some reason, I hear steele as Daffy Duck in my head.
I don’t let the prequels bring me down. But associating Yoda with Steelepole? That’s just gross and wrong.
A) Slander is spoken, libel is written.
B) It’s not slander or libel if it’s true.
I imagine he isn’t a valid Scotsman either.
They have particularly tender asses? That doesn’t seem right.
Gah, Dammit, I was too late for the steelesplosion.
I just can’t get past how very, very seriously Steele takes himself. It’s like dealing with a small child who is absolutely convinced that wearing a towel like a cape will turn him or her into Superman. Only not as cute.
In Steele’s case the cape is made of bad grammar.
And most children have a stronger grip on reality.
Steele leaves out a word when he talks about the Movement – it should have Bowel in front of it.
thenatfantastic, that fifty cutest things collection nearly melted my brain! 😀
Oh rats, ninjaed by hellkell! 🙁
So, I know I’m late for this, but…
Steele’s clearly been taking notes from some guy. You do know this is a blog, Steele, right? Like, you can’t just shout “JOURNALISM!” and then we’re obligated to agree with all the stupid shit you say.
Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahhahahaahaha
This might be the single finest example of how terrible Steele’s writing is. Why would you ever suffocate someone with BAGS OF SAND? How would that even work? Are you putting the bags of sand over their face while they sleep, like you would with a pillow? Are you pouring the sand into their nose and mouth? Why bags of sand, of all things?
Steele, seriously, I’m trying to help you out here: You could have ended this sentence at “movement.” Your metaphor is already ridiculously overwrought; it doesn’t need to suffer from overexplanation as well.
P.S. Who else is excited for the next time Peter-Andrew:Nolan(c) shows up? I can’t wait for Steele to immediately forget about how he totes excommunicated him in his haste to make friends.
I’m always excited for PA:N(c) to show up. He is (1,000 troy ounces of 99.99%) pure gold. I kind of hope it’s not this post, though. If he shows up here it’s just going to be to defend his generic nasty misogyny. He’s only really fun when he’s being the most absurd conspiracy theorist that ever was.
Unless he shows up here to demand his name use royalties from David. That would be amazing.
Seems like most people here with pets have cats, but if you have a dog, you’ve probably come across dog trainers who claim that because of WOLVES and yada yada (never mind actual modern wolf research, or the fact that dogs behave differently than wolves even when born in the wild) dogs LOVE to be subjected to harsh discipline methods, they WANT you to show that you’re a TOUGH LEADER worthy of leading the pack and yada yada yada. Usually this is “proven” by pointing out that dogs (well, not all dogs, but many) will be super attentive towards somebody who treats them like this, and perform all kinds of submissive behaviours towards their owner, behaviours that are interpreted as signs of respect and affection. Although an easier explanation is that the dog is simply very eager to keep the owner in a good mood because it DOESN’T like punishment.
Maybe some kids react the same way if they’re subjected to corporal punishment. Maybe Nolan really had a daughter who’d cuddle up to him a lot after spanking because she thought, right or not, that this would keep him in a good mood and prevent further abuse for a while. And some of these DV stories about women getting horny after being beaten up that David has posted before might be about the same phenomenon. Maybe some of these assholes had girlfriends that had learnt that pretending horniness and having sex was a sure way to calm down their abusive partner and avoid further beatings for a while.
Slavey, could you link to ANYONE who claims that a man raises his voice is DV?
Yes, people talk about “verbal abuse”. That means bullying and threatening. It’s NOT the same thing as merely raising your voice. Comprende?
Especially if the beating followed an argument about sex, or the man complaining about not getting as much sex as he felt entitled to.
(That was my first instinct too, that if any of this is true the people doing the cuddling up were probably doing it in an attempt to avoid further beatings.)
This is a particularly disturbing thought when you think that he may have trained his daughter to offer physical affection to men in an attempt to avoid being hurt. One reason I hate hearing these guys talk about daughters is that I can’t help but wonder what those girls have been trained to expect from men, and what might happen to them as adults as a result.
…at which point we all change our name to Peter-Andrew: Nolan(c) in Spartacus-style solidarity.
When the British satirical magazine Private Eye received a pompous letter informing them that they were breaching the copyright of Portakabin Ltd in using the word “portakabin” as though it was a generic term like “hoover” or “walkman”, their response was to head every single other letter on the letters page ‘Portakabin’ apart from this particular letter, which was headlined ‘What a tragic way to make a living’. Contributor Adam Macqueen has more detail.
(And of course the Portakabin guy actually had a fair legal point, whereas Peter-Andrew: Nolan(c) clearly doesn’t. No matter how ridiculously he punctuates his name.)
I missed two trollsplosions earlier, I’m disappointed in myself. However, on the plus side, there are approximately 10 hours before I go to university, which I have gotten myself so excited/nervous/anxious/happy about that I have found myself unable to sleep this past night.
Just remember that everyone else will be as nervous as you, and you’ll be fine. Good luck!
Excuse me? I think he’s adorable. If he isn’t a Poe, he’s one of the most gloriously oblivious people I’ve ever encountered.
His conviction that we’re all vile man-haters (despite the overwhelming to the contrary), his attempts to make friends with our other trolls, his ten-second flounces, his mangled metaphors, his paranoia when he was equally hilariously outed as Torvus Butthorn (a name that makes me giggle uncontrollably even to this day)… how can you not love him?
And stop mocking him for being a dreadful writer – you know it’s all down to misandry. Which is totally a real thing, whatever the vile Manboobz hivemind thinks.
aworldanonymous – good luck at uni tomorrow! I’m sure it will be awesome and you will meet some great people.
Also (if this works) may I present my bunny “Little Bugger”
(with budgie sound track)
Long day at work down the mammoth mines and I missed – Steelepole still not knowing the difference between slander and libel, in spite of having had it explained to him half a dozen times or more.
And yet his understanding of the law is almost certainly superior to Nolan’s