Some misogynists seem to have a really difficult time telling the difference between consensual kinkiness and domestic violence. Over on the Happier Abroad forums, our old friend Peter-Andrew: Nolan(c) – who doesn’t really seem to be all that happy, honestly – tells the fellows about a woman he recently met. (Note: the faux ellipses in the quotes to follow are all from the original.)
I am now able to look a woman in the eyes, even from some distance, and know if she is a decent woman or not. I only developed this two years or so ago and have only had it happen 4 times. I am not saying that it is ONLY these women who are decent women….I am saying that the 4 this has happened to turned out to be pretty good women…
By a “pretty good woman” he seems to mean a woman who hates women nearly as much as he does:
when asking about my view of women I have been absolutely straightforward and to the point….her response “AT LAST…..a man who really knows what we are like….that makes me feel so much better because I do not have to worry about trying to present myself as I am not…..you already really know what we are like!”
She is HAPPY that I describe women as mostly liars and manipulators who try to get men to do what they want…..it is a RELIEF for her to meet such a man…..how about that?
And, even better, she likes to be spanked!
she openly says that she felt that if we were together with her strong personality she would be likely to provoke me and try to hurt me emotionally…..to which I replied “if you are naughty I will put you over my knee and spank you”..to which she replied “and I shall be naughty to make sure I am spanked”.
I was telling this new lady I met about this and how I had spanked my daughter when she was willful and naughty as well as my fav#1……she almost SWOONED at the idea of being spanked for being naughty….It was as clear as day she was very interested in getting herself spanked for being naughty…..I noticed this and pointed it out….she tried to deny it.
Uh, if she just told you she wanted to “be naughty to make sure” she’d be spanked, why would she deny this a minute later?
Somehow I suspect that this conversation didn’t transpire exactly as Mr. Nolan says it did.
In any case, our intrepid storyteller moves on to elaborate on his perverse (and not in a good way) sexualized defense of child abuse:
I said to her “it is completely normal for a girl to want to provoke her father into needing to spank her, once he does she knows he is big and strong and will protect her and provide for her….she feel more comfortable, more secure, and she will often cuddle up to her father and feel very good towards him after being spanked….my daughter did that all the time…..I bet you did that with your father too…..
And then on to a defense of violence against women:
This need does not go away just because the girl becomes a woman…..she still needs to provoke her man and he still needs to spank her so that she feels he is strong and powerful and can protect and provide for her……that is how women are.
Apparently men can’t truly “bond” with women without hitting them:
This is why it is such a disaster to say “never hit women”…..it destroys the womans ability to bond closely with the man via a good spanking. It destroys her ability to feel the security of protector and provider….something she needs…indeed….it is so insane now they call that “domestic violence” and the man can go to jail for doing what the woman needs to be done for her.”
She just shook her head and said “you are so right”……I am wondering if we will see much more of each other.
I certainly hope not.
Happily, there’s every reason to believe that this conversation is a product of Nolan’s imagination; he seems to live in a world all his own.
NOTE: Thanks to Sandra in the comments for pointing me to this horrible comment.
EDITED TO ADD: Mr. Nolan (c) has responded in the comments here, and over on Happier Abroad in more detail. Apparently I totally misrepresented him because I wasn’t able to figure out from his badly written comment that he was talking about two different women who loved being spanked. Also, because I mentioned his name with the weird punctuation , he thinks I am “subject to the fee of 1,000 troy ounces of 99.9% pure gold should I choose to levy it.” (You see, Mr. Nolan (c) has set up his own international court system in his own head, in which mentioning his name with that little copyright symbol attached to it apparently means that you owe him lots of gold.) I haven’t read all of his comments; I’m afraid I’ll end up owing him even more gold if I do.
I’ve just read Peter-Andrew: Nolan(c)’s letters to his children.
All I can say is that I’m very glad they’re thousands of miles away, and long may that happy state of affairs continue.
Holy shit, guys. This is a letter from Peter Andrew Nolan to his children.
Highlights include demands that they accuse their mother of child abuse, threats to bring them to a criminal trial as accomplices in (among other things) their own kidnapping, accusations that their choice not to give their grandmother their phone number was an attempt to extort money from him, claims that as their “former father” he is responsible for their behaviour as adults and will teach them right from wrong “the hard way”, and threats to steal the majority of their income until they are 46.
I mean, I get that he’s delusional. But he’s also a very bad person.
Yes, that’s what I read.
But, staggeringly unpleasant and deeply sinister though those letters are, I imagine they make the court’s decision much, much easier. It’s the abusers of either sex who appear affable and reasonable when outside the family home who are infinitely harder to deal with.
I usually just read and don’t comment, but this guy lies about my country, so I take that personally.
As a german I say: you are full of shit.
A. Germany is in the middle of Europe, not in the east, so no we do not count as eastern european. Duh. I also highly doubt eastern european women would agree with you, in fact, most of them would kick your ass.
B. Yeah, we DO have a problem with what you say, in fact, we do not like misogynists at all. You may not slap or beat us. Rape, including martial rape is illegal here, and asshole husbands can be removed from the appartment their share with their wife (+children) by the police. (-> Wohnungsverweis)
Oh, and as a bonus: beating your children is illegal here, not only the severe kind, but also what many people would not see as beatings, i.e. a slap.
your little phantasy world =/= reality
Whoa. Just read that thing. I was lucky enough to have a dad who loved his family, and my husband and I are both crazy about our little ones, so I can’t imagine anyone turning on their kids in such a horrible way.
Sharculese mentioned further back in the thread that PANIC has been banned from several countries. I hope the ones where his kids and step-kids are residing are among them.
Ugh, I just read that letter. Utterly nasty. It’s especially terrible because he’s actually doing a bunch of the things he keeps accusing his wife of doing, namely extorting his children and threatening libel against them.
I also finally read his purported letter from his wife instead of just skimming it, and unfortunately I have to add a new layer of creepy to it. He claims the letter was written from a ‘class’ he sent his wife to with a group called the Landmark Forum. The Landmark Forum is basically a brainwashing camp that’s been banned from operating in a number of countries for their nasty abusive practices. It’s also an ideal place for abusers to send their victims, as the main thing they pound into your head seems to be that you’re responsible for all negative relationships in your life. And while the letter might still be fake, I have an unpleasant feeling that it’s not. Part of their program is being forced to either call or write an apology and reconciliation with anyone you’ve been negative towards, and the letter sounds an awful lot like the kind of thinking they push on you there.
So I really hope he made that letter up, because that’s just comically sad. But I think the reality is that he had his wife sent off to be brainwashed into writing it, which is sickening.
That pretty much sums up the whole letter, and his relationship with his children. Once again I am shocked, truly shocked, that his wife left, and that his kids don’t want to see him.
The bit where he was hinting that the angry divorced man death squads (not yet in existence, but apparently in the works) might go after his kids if they didn’t comply with his wishes was equally illustrative, but too nasty to quote even in this space.
Oh, and look! Chapter 8 in his seminal book, Living Free in a Fem-Nazi World, starts off with ……….. wait for it ………… “The Woolly Mammoth Story”! Yes, indisputable True Facts about life amongst cave dwellers 20,000 years ago, featuring Og and Ogette. And not much has changed, apparently, in 20,000 years time… women still do fuckall whilst men do EVERYTHING.
LOL!! And nearly hidden in the barrage of Petey’s verbal diarrhea in the Happier Abroad post and comments is one commenter’s “Yeah, this thread is quite boring. Selftalk, how interesting.” Ole Petey didn’t take well to that!
And then their daugher Oggelina was naughty because she wanted Og to spank her and then they cave-cuddled and dreamed of the day she would find a mate who would spank her for her own good just like daddy, and then their cave-neighbors coined the phrase “cycle of abuse”. Which they illustrated in the form of a cave painting, later to be misinterpreted by evo-psych dudes as a sign that women have always loved being beaten.
@CassandraSays
That may just end up in his next revision, minus, of course, the part about the painting being misinterpreted.
Rumpole too true. The so called Peter-Andrew: Nolan(c) corporate entity being the creditor of the strawman Peter-Andrew: Nolan(c) individual. Court sues the strawman who claims to owe everything he owns to his own corporate entity to get out of paying any bills. Load of bullshit which nobody holds true except so called sovereign citizens and the so called freemen woo who seem to be comprised in alot of cases of a bunch of losers trying to get out of paying their bills. I don’t say that all “freemen” hold those values. There are some with a genuine wish to better the lives of all.
But that court video does show that the ex hubby had always paid child support for the two elder children who were not Nolan’s. Nolan didn’t object to this fact. And you’re right about it being a relatively small property settlement. A modest house in a modest suburb of Sydney. As for the company, the court video shows that Mrs. Nolan was also a director of that company which, by the way, is now again up and running as “Instant Business Intelligence”. Nolan’s uploaded a utube video about the business where he describes himself simply as Peter Nolan. No hyphens, colons or copyrights. No wimminz or mangina hating propoganda. Just a “nice guy” presenting his credentials. He is truly a heinous and duplicitous turd of a human being.
Gawd. I just skim-read that letter (pdf is being very wiggy on my computer) and all I can say is, my father is a complete numbskull and twit, but he’s Father of the Year compared to this slimeball.
I’m new to Man Boobz but have been aware of the MRA and MGTOW et al. for several years. Apparently the Southern Poverty Law Center is investigating them as a hate group. This is precisely what they are. All of the members should be on a list and watched by federal agencies.
Peter Nolan was dragged out of his former home kicking and screaming like a stuck pig after attacking his wife Jennifer Toal with a wine bottle in front of his terrified former children while in a drunken rage one Easter Sunday. He then went on to gain only a 5% share of his marital assets by following his own self written legal advice. He does not consider a woman has the right to leave a marriage as upon taking her vows the wife becomes the husband’s chattel property,
Are any other MRAs actually buying in to Nolan’s schtick and following his plan for how to deal with the court system? Because you’d think people would notice that it’s not working our very well for Nolan so far.
That’s the first I’ve heard of what occurred to get him dragged out of the house by the police, but I, unlike many other commenters at the sites he frequented, had a hard time believing his story of “the ideal husband whose wife called the police on him for absolutely no reason”….his explosions into fits of rage when commenters did not completely agree with him or did not agree to do his bidding made me skeptical about the veracity of his story (and pretty much everything that he said).
Yeah, he gave that advice at (I think it was) The Spearhead, that men should refuse to get married unless the woman they were wanting to marry agreed to and signed a contract giving all of her current and future assets to her husband, and giving herself to her husband as his chattel property. He thought it highly indicative of the vast stupidity of women if they were unwilling to enter into such a contract.
I think that a number of them were, initially, as they seemed to hang on his every word, but after a number of his ragey moments had transpired, they distanced themselves from him.
I read that letter from PANIC’s wife and it probably actually is from her. I know a bit about the Landmark Forum, and the language in the letter is the language of the Landmark Forum. They don’t in fact brainwash people or use “abusive practices” or whatever the commenter above said. But they do encourage people to take responsibility for all the relationships in their life. Even relationships with abusers. Even if the abusers were parents and the person was a child when being abused! The basic concept is that it’s psychologically liberating and empowering to take responsibility. Which sounds weird and terrible and like victim-blaming, but (in the context of the rest of the Landmark Forum experience) it’s extremely effective at helping people move on from the damage done by abuse and become happier, and also doesn’t look like victim-blaming in practice at all.
I know a few people who did the Landmark Forum and got dramatically happier out of doing it. I did it twice myself, even though there were some things that I don’t really like about the organisation. (Mainly, that they use pushy sales tactics. It’s super annoying. And the Landmark language gets on my tits.) But the course created a quantum leap in my self confidence, and ability to focus on stuff, and ability to socialise without being exhausted, and was worth the annoying aspects of it. I wouldn’t be exaggerating to call it an actualfax fucking miracle. I’d do it again if I ever started feeling stuck or trapped in my life.
It would definitely not be a good place for an abuser to send his partner, at least not from the abuser’s point of view. People tend to make changes in their life after they take it– often they repair relationships with friends/family/partners, and occasionally they end them and move on (as it seems Panic’s wife did within a few months.)
Anyway, I guess his wife went there and for some reason she was committed to making the relationship with him work so she tried to find a way to do that while she was there, and wrote that letter.
He obviously hasn’t done the Landmark Forum himself, or if he has, absolutely NOTHING stuck. His comments juxtaposed with her letter are darkly hilarious from the perspective of someone who understands the context of the letter. The Landmark people have some mental health requirements because it’s a psychologically very intense experience, so maybe he just wasn’t allowed to.
Eh, that was a long ramble, and I’m hesitant about posting it, because idk if anyone cares, but if you’re curious about the letter, that’s the explanation.
Having worked at a company at which taking the Landmark Forum was a requirement for anyone applying for a management position (which is a big part of why I’m no longer at that company), the last comment creeps me out a bit. Obviously it’s less creepy if people aren’t being forced to do it, but still, going by the people who I knew who did it and the way they acted afterwards, I’m not at all convinced that there’s no brainwashing involved.
Perhaps I don’t know what “brainwashing” means? It definitely creates dramatic changes in behavior, and I think it can make people go pretty weird immediately after as they try to reintegrate a new way of thinking. But I actually understated what it did for me… I shook off a lifelong depression that was unresponsive to meds. It took a long time to fully shake off the depression, but the switch was flipped when I did the Landmark Forum.
I didn’t say that part because they do actually discourage people with depression from doing it, and maybe I am some kind of unusual edge case, but that’s what happened to me.
@AlexB I’ve found that, for any organization or event that one person finds transformative and life-affirming, another person will find predictable, boring, or dangerous. If Landmark helped you become a happier, more whole person, then good. Not everything works for everybody. I had a friend who found a Dale Carnegie workshop transformative, which boggled my mind, because I don’t have a lot of respect for Dale Carnegie stuff in general. But she felt better about herself afterwards, so, yanno. Cool.
*Trying really hard not to sound patronizing, and failing miserably. Sorry.*
I have an instinctive back away suspiciously when people start rhapsodizing about how some workshop or retreat changed their lives and solved all their problems and everyone should try it response. I think it’s a side effect of living in an area where New Age hucksters are extremely common.
But yeah, the post-Landmark people I worked with were pretty alarming to be around, given their tendency to accost people in the hallway and go on and on about how everyone must do it, right now, and if you don’t your life will suck and you’ll only have yourself to blame and don’t you want to be happy and successful? I’d probably feel less negative about it if many of those same people hadn’t ended up wishing they’d never done it and being angry about being coerced into doing so by management later on. There’s no question that “coerced into doing so” is the biggest problem in this scenario, but still, of the people I stayed in touch with none were happy about having done it in the long term.
Ninjad by Unimaginative. If it worked out well for you then cool, it’s just that for most of the people I knew who did it it did not work out well at all, and a lot of them were really unhappy with the way the seminars are structured.
That letter to his children is so disgusting…I cannot even. Ugh even my own father was not that bad.