Ann Romney’s speech at the Republican National Convention on Tuesday night got Laura Wood, the so-called Thinking Housewife, pining for a world in which the dirty world of politics was limited to dudes.
When women were denied the vote, they could reside on a higher plane, far from the oily ministrations of politicians. Now, at every convention, we must hear about the first date of the presidential candidate and his wife. We must see them kiss and be told by both how wonderful women are. The governor of South Carolina, Nikki Haley, and Luce Vela, the wife of the governor of Puerto Rico, also appeared last night and I couldn’t help but feel, given their outfits and grooming, that I was watching a political version of the Miss America contest.
My only question is why Ms. Housewife was watching the convention at all. If politics is so “oily” and gross and inherently unladylike, shouldn’t a good old-fashioned gal like her be studiously avoiding its corrupting influence? Weren’t there any doilies in the house that needed dusting?
@Dharvguhnspossen, i agree, i think that many people just get down on women in general, and “having kids” is something that is apparently 100% woman’s work, it’s yet another one of those catch-22’s. Like how if you look sexy you’re just an attention whore but if you don’t look sexy you’re a worthless cow, if you’re a lady in the public eye.
I just did a quick post on Nolan’s creepy comment.
And I downloaded his ebook! Not sure if I have the patience to actually read it.
RE: parental expectations falling primarily on women
My husband and I pretty equally co-parent our daughter. This is largely because of necessity- we work opposite shifts to keep our daughter out of daycare. My husband has tons of experience with primary caregiving and both of us practice empathetic semi-AP parenting, with lots of clear communication and structure as our daughter needs and responds to it.
Guess who gets approached in public all the time and told how amazing their parenting is by gushing family and friends? Yep. My husband.
Generally he replies that “Nanasha and I are very proud of Daughter and we love her very much” or something similar to give people the image of a united parental front.
My husband is a good person. He genuinely is a wonderful parent too. But he gets more sympathetic looks when our daughter gets fussy in public and has even been asked “where is your wife?” when Daughter was cranky in the grocery store and he was trying to just run in for sone essentials.
It’s a clear message: moms deal with all the crap and take the blame for it too. Dads get to play and be the fun parent.
Lucky for me, my husband is very good at letting me know how much he appreciates me (and vice versa). Honestly, I think that has helped us through the rough times more than anything. Simply saying thank you and I appreciate you on a regular basis really helps make the daily grind doable.
That is so true. My husband works a lot so it’s usually me that does everything with the kids. But when we all go out and the kids act up, I’m the one who gets the dirty looks from strangers, not my husband. If I work long hours on the PTO or volunteer as a room mother, then I’m just doing the bare minimum. If my husband simply attends a school function, then he’s a hero. I don’t mind dads getting credit, either. I just want moms to get more credit and less blame.
This works the same way, too, with elderly parents. Do people ask sons if they will quit their jobs when their folks have health issues? Not usually, but that’s what they do to daughters. Once again, this work is all unpaid but the rest of society benefits from it. So I don’t want to even hear someone talk about “female privilege”. If there were such a thing, work that is traditonally “woman’s work” would be appreciated and compensated.
I think that book will deserve its own drinking game.
@ Zanana
The childcare collective sounds interesting. Honestly, one of the biggest issues that a lot of parents seem to face is the lack of the extended family network that in many societies used to provide care for kids when the parents weren’t available. Given that many societies aren’t going back to the model in which that network existed (nobody ever moves far away from home, family all live close together and have good enough relationships that people are willing to help out, there’s always someone around who can take care of kids when needed who’s family and therefore trusted) any time soon, trying to intentionally create a network of friends, neighbors, and acquaintances that mirrors that social network seems like a smart and logical approach. Plus, yeah, you sound like you’re feeling frustrated with your own feelings about the whole issue, so taking some sort of direct action might help. Volunteering is almost never a bad thing.