Fake Spooge and Rape Jokes: A new frontier in Men’s Rights activism?

Ugh, don’t get me started on the crapfest that is the state of healthcare in America. People should not be forced to choose between medical care and food.

Just to connect this back to thread a little bit…

It was the first time I ever gave myself permission to cry when I was sad. I just sat in my bathtub and sobbed for an hour. It was incredibly cathartic.

It was the first time that I realized my dad, who I generally think of as pretty sensitive, is completely unable to do anything in the face of sorrow and mourning. I told him what had happened and he left the room to go get my mother.

I told him my cat had died, and he had to leave the room and go get my mother.

That’s so sad to me that men still feel so much pressure to always be stoic and hide their pain. My dad’s like your dad. He always puts on a brave face and even makes jokes whenever something upsets him, and it’s probably because the whole “boys don’t cry” rule was a bigger deal to baby boomers and older men. He didn’t cry at his mom’s funeral, and instead took it upon himself to comfort other people, because he thinks that a man’s job is to always be the strong one. He did cry, however, right after the tornado, when I first got a hold of him. He thought we were dead, so finding out that we were alive made him so relieved, he cried. For once, I actually comforted him and made jokes to help him feel better.

A few months later, I comforted a carpet installer who cried because of his experience. He felt bad that he had heard a man screaming, trapped under rubble, and he was unable to lift the heavy debris to rescue him. He told him, “Hang on, I’m going to try to get you some firefighters or someone with heavy equipment to help” and the guy said, “I’m scared, don’t leave me”. But the guy had to leave him there alone so that he could go find extra help. He told me how bad he felt about it, but I said “You did what you had to do so that he could actually get dug out”. But that guilt was just eating him up to know the man felt alone and he had to leave him anyway.

That’s just what people do, though. They are so hard on themselves and blame themselves for circumstances that are beyond their control. It’s easy to reassure other people that feel guilt but it’s hard to be as forgiving to yourself. I don’t know what to say except I’m sorry to blitzgal, Nanasha, David, and Wetherby who feel guilt like that. None of you all did anything wrong. It’s just that life is unpredictable, and there’s no way to prevent everyone you care about from ever suffering. I wish that were possible. Instead, bad things happen, and then we go back in our minds trying to figure out what we could have done differently to change the outcome.

Blah. It just goes to show that life has a way of kicking you extra hard when you’re down.

I’m sorry for all you’re going through, Nanasha. Not only do you have all of the physical parts of pregnancy, but now you’re under financial pressure and your poor kitty is sick. *Hugs*

Nanasha! Hugs and hope for you and your kitty! 🙁 I don’t dare read this thread in full, I’ll be crying on the train …

My husband just sent me an update. They have Neb on IV fluids to help with the dehydration and will do a physical exam once he starts holding down food. So fat they think that there is no blockage, so I am crossing my fingers.

@ Blitzgal

I’m not crying, it’s just been raining on my face.

@ Nanasha hope it all works for you & Neb.

I’m trying to send my cat Smudge through the internet for hugs, Nanasha. But she won’t fit in the USB port. 🙁

Nanasha, sending big hugs to you and Neb. Neb was lucky to have found you guys.

If the vet doesn’t think it’s a blockage, then that’s positive news. Doesn’t mean that Neb is out of the woods, but it’s a step in that direction. Sincerest wishes that the news keeps improving. *crosses toes for good measure*

Woohoo! http://www.smileyvault.com/albums/userpics/12075/CatParty.gif

Nanasha, that’s great! I can only imagine your relief, and I’m so glad that Neb is home with his family. Pet him for me, and I imagine for most everyone else here too.

Great news is great!

Oh, thank goodness he’s not blocked!! This is excellent news.