So over on the Men’s Rights subreddit – you know, the old one, not its newfangled would-be replacement – the fellas are complaining about how oppressive it is for a university to put up signs suggesting that consent is good and rape is bad.
Clearly, these signs are an insult to non-rapist men, in the same way that “don’t feed the animals” signs in zoos are an insult to those of us who aren’t planning to feed the animals.
Happily, the dude calling himself anti-everyone has come up with a way to fight back against this feminazi tyranny:
Is the Poster Revolution moving to its next stage?
“All this modern talk to this old-fashioned cat!”
And my offspring will be kittens.
Generally speaking, it seems most of the “wahhhh! You’re accusing me of being a potential rapist!” guys and the “but it’s not rape if/women ask for it” guys are generally THE SAME GUYS.
Which is hardly a coincidence.
The ones who complain the most about being told not to do “rapey” things are usually the ones who think they actually need to do “rapey” things in order to get laid. In which case they shouldn’t complain about creep-shaming, because they really are creeps.
I gotta ask: glue? I didn’t realize white-out was misandry.
I’m sure they would put up some posters in the women’s bath rooms if there were room on the walls between all the names of rapists.
There is none of this around the female bathrooms ( my gf checked), just every space where men gather.. nothing but those stupid “got consent?” Posters.
I want to send a SWAT team to that campus to rescue the girlfriend of the guy who thinks asking men not to rape people is stupid.
its too juvenile for me to really get offended. There is something very jr high about using school supplies to get revenge AGAINST INJUSTICE!
Emphasis mine. WORD. I remember a few years back reading about a troll a feminist blogger had who essentially said “but if you make men so afraid they’ll rape someone, then no men will instigate sex and no one will ever have sex again!” The blogger did a good job of laughing the troll off, but it was kind of telling and scary to me.
*sigh* Sometimes this MRA stuff makes my brain hurt.
I leave a bulldog puppy behind while I go fix dinner. Because bulldog.
In something like a quarter century of being sexually active, not once have I ever been worried that any of my partners might hit me with a false or indeed a genuine rape accusation.
This is thanks to my cunning ploy of securing unambiguous consent before having sex, coupled with things like making sure that this consent isn’t impaired by drugs or alcohol.
I’m really not sure why this is supposed to be so difficult.
Bulldog puppy bellies are the cure for anything.
It’s a legitimate point that our culture should stress the importance of consent to women as well, but like Cliff says, all the legitimate points in that thread are lost under the sea of rage and mockery and stupidity…
I used to be bad at consent because I really thought that as a girl I had nothing to worry about. And then I was joking about hooking up with an ex when they were *really* drunk to a male friend who was a way better feminist than me at the time, and he was like, yo, that’s not something you should joke about. And I was like, oh shit, you’re right.
Now I’m really careful about it, but being careful doesn’t have to mean being a buzzkill or a maniac with a fucking contract. My most recent partner doesn’t talk a lot in bed, so I make up safewords that are funny, for even completely vanilla stuff, and I remind him of what the safeword is before I try to initiate something new, and it’s kind of a joke but he totally uses the safeword when he wants to stop or do something different, and the silliness of the safeword makes the whole thing non-confrontational and easy, and my point is there are LOTS of possible solutions and no need for anyone to take offense at reminders that legit consent is fucking important.
@Cliff while I agree with you, you might be fighting a losing battles. Because even when most MRAs argue your other, valid points and issues, it’s with all the nastiness of rape apologetics (or denial).
For example
“support single fathers” thing
Sure. Society’s into it. In fact, people still seem to treat being a single dad like an act of heroism in a way single motherhood will never be (because people, including MRAs, push the idea that women are meant, above all, to be mothers). Have never even heard of a ‘welfare dad’ or of a single father being painted as a harlot.
“it sucks to be expected to be a tough masculine provider all the time” thing.
Again, MRAs seem pretty happy to both accuse women of being lazy gold diggers who are too stupid to get ‘real’ jobs… but also accuse them of stealing jobs that rightfully belong to men (probably by sleeping their way up the corporate ladder).
workplace accidents thing
Again, sure. Labor laws. Safety improvement. But again, the same guys complaining that no one cares if men die at work don’t seem to be particularly intent on any solution except, uh, keeping women out of any of these jobs (firefighting, military, etc.).
men’s health
Yes. Definitely worth highlighting health issues that only affect men, or affect men in different ways than women. Though it’s worth noting that the opposite has been the norm up until recently (and continues to be in many areas) – health studies and tests where no women have been considered at all except as an afterthought (where they’re considered ‘smaller men’ and given a proportional dose or similar treatment).
But yes on encouraging men to eat well, exercise and visit the doctor (if they can afford it – MRAs don’t seem too big on universal healthcare).
men’s shelters stuff
Again, not sure if anyone is ignoring this. The face of poverty has been, by and large, that of a white man, for very long. Initiatives specifically involving women may make people more sympathetic (I’m not sure, perhaps there are studies), but if they exist it is to fill a real need that isn’t being met by mainstream shelters and resources.
What seems to be prevalent when it comes to MRAs in these issues, aside from misogyny, of course, is both the accusations against society/women (who run society, of course) for ignoring these issues – but also a terrible fear of being ‘feminised.’ So they want to rail against unsafe workplaces (well, for men) and the rates of male suicide… but they sure as hell don’t want some lady or, ahem, white knight coming in and telling them how things could be safer, or that boys need to learn early on to deal with their emotions.
(Sorry if that all seemed directed at you, it wasn’t! It’s just that, like many feminists, I think, I do think about the issues men face and appreciate those working to fix them. I just have yet to meet any who are also MRAs.)
Some people just never (mentally) leave junior high.
Posters around schools telling women not to lie about rape seems equally appropriate.
TK – Oh yeah, I totally agree. I don’t think MRAs have the right take on those issues, I just think that they’re a little better able to pass for reasonable, or at least “righteous but misguided” than they are when they talk about rape.
Especially galling considering that, given the “in house” dealing with rape so common on university campuses, the worst thing that could conceivably happen to a dude who rapes on campus is being expelled. And he’d practically have to be a blatant serial rapist for that to happen. When I was in university, I knew several men who habitually sexually assaulted women and I can’t imagine they sought consent in bed when they didn’t find it necessary to seek it in the hallways or at parties. Terrible consequences: being rather popular gents who got a kick out of joking about rape in public.
@TK When MRAs complain about men’s shelters they don’t mean homeless shelters but domestic violence shelters. There is a serious lack of shelters and resources for adult male victims of abuse. However MRAs aren’t really serious about this issue, they use it as an excuse to justify DV against women instead of working to help men.
*sigh* Guys, if she’s not trying to rip your clothes off, saying, “Yes, yes, yes, NOW” or a reasonable facsimile of behavior thereof, you just might want to STOP briefly and ask, “Are you doing ok?” Seriously, if you’re afraid that a 10 second interval to check in is going to cause you to not get laid, you probably shouldn’t be getting naked with that person (or any other person) in the first place.
Uh, no, this is obvious bullshit, Random Reddit MRA (RRMRA), and you know it. Thing is, though, if you’re touching her left boob and then you move to her right and she says “oops bruised myself there, no right boob please” or just “no” without any sort of explanation or “actually I think we should stop this whole thing I’m not comfortable”, you actually have to stop. You don’t get to get pissy about this unfair feminist crap that doesn’t let you do whatever the hell you want to someone else’s body because they were willing to let you take off their clothes.
@TK
“What seems to be prevalent when it comes to MRAs in these issues, aside from misogyny, of course, is both the accusations against society/women (who run society, of course) for ignoring these issues – but also a terrible fear of being ‘feminised.’ So they want to rail against unsafe workplaces (well, for men) and the rates of male suicide… but they sure as hell don’t want some lady or, ahem, white knight coming in and telling them how things could be safer, or that boys need to learn early on to deal with their emotions.”
Why would men want to be feminized? That sounds repulsive to any man. It’s healthy and normal to hate when someone, or entity tells you to be something you’re not. The huge increase is suicide rates for men in every society corresponds precisely with when feminism was adpoted as the prevailing ideology. Therefore the enemy of all men, and women who care to give a fuck is, feminism. Boys deal with their emotions differently than girls, yet girl psychology is what’s used to laughably help boys emotionally. Up, up, up goes the suicide rate of course.
Perhaps this is women reverting back to their animal nature that men have tried so hard to civilize out of them. Whoever doesn’t become feminized, gay or commits suicide is worthy of reproduction. I wouldn’t put it passed women, they’re not exactly known for their empathy towards men. Look at all men have done to make women comfortable, all the shelters men have built and funded for women. And all the prisons for men to go to on a womans word alone. Look at the laws, adulterous women get the children and men get only the bill. Only 60% of colleges are women? Oh hell, have a little more Title IX you poor dahlins. Wear a miniskirt to work and then sue if a man looks too long. Want a job? It’s your’s, no need to compete for it, you’re a woman. Hell, have all the teaching jobs. So what if we rank last in the world. It’s not your fault, it’s gotta be mens fault.
Why it’s a war on women out there. Pay for my birth control, pay for my abortions, pay for my welfare, pay for MY children, pay for my maternity leave, but damn it, stay out of my uterus. The wallet of course stay neatly in place. Funny that, Aye? Mirror, mirror on the wall, whose the fairest of them all. Why women of course. Those darned ATMs never had it so good.
So why do they think they need to rape to get laid anyway?
Ugh. Today was “sex offender registry” day. I work right down the hall from where they are legally required to check in.
Being all hugely pregnant, I have to pee desperately multiple times a day. And although I mostly go early enough so I can make it if I go the long way around, sometimes I must waddle my butt off past the registry line or I wont get to the toilets in time.
EVERY FUCKING TIME I walk by, most, if not all of these men begin eyefucking me in that horrible, creepy way that even when I am attempting to avoid all eye contact, somehow its like lasers boring into your body.
I often wonder how many of these men go home and post rape apologist shit on sites like Reddit.
*shudder*
Here’s some more brain bleach.
http://youtu.be/YZs3EADi2pQ