Manosphere misogynists like to tell themselves fairy tales about women. Their favorite such tale, repeated endlessly, is one called “The Cock Carousel” – sometimes referred to in expanded form as the “Alpha Asshole Cock Carousel” or the “Bad Boy Cock Carousel.” (Hence that Rooster-riding gal you see in this blog’s header about half the time.)
Despite the different names, the story is always, monotonously, the same: In their late teens and twenties, when they’re at the height of their sexual appeal, women (or at least the overwhelming majority of them) have sex in rapid succession with an assortment of charismatic but unreliable alpha males and “bad boys” who make their vaginas (or just ‘ginas) tingle. Then, sometime in their mid-to-late twenties, these women “hit the wall,” with their so-called sexual market value (or SMV) dropping faster than Facebook’s stock price. As Roissy/Heartiste puts it, in his typically overheated prose:
So sad, so tragic, the inevitable slide into sexual worthlessness that accompanies women, the withering tick tock of the cosmic clock stripping their beauty in flayed bits of soulletting mignons like psychological ling chi. A sadistic thief in the night etching, billowing, draping and sagging a new affront to her most preciously guarded asset.
While many women try to pretend they’ve still “got it,” even at the ripe old age of thirty, they inevitably have to either get off or get thrown off the “cock carousel.” At this point the more savvy women glom onto some convenient “beta male” who, while somewhat lacking in sexual appeal, will at least be a good husband and provider for them – and in many cases the children they’ve had with alpha male seed. Those women who don’t accept the new reality are destined to end up alone and childless, surrounded by cats.
To borrow the phrase South Park used in its episodes about Scientology and Mormonism, this is what manosphere men actually believe. Not only that, but they claim that this fairy tale is based on real science.
So who are these mysterious alpha males that get the women so excited? As one guide to pickup artist (PUA) lingo puts it:
In animal hierarchies, the Alpha Male is the most dominant, and typically the physically strongest member of the group. For example, in wolf packs, the “alpha wolf” is the strongest member of the pack, and is the leader of the group. This position of leadership is often achieved by killing or defeating the previous Alpha Male in combat. Alpha wolves have first access to food as well as mating privileges with the females of the pack.
Social status among human social groups is less rigidly defined than in the animal kingdom, but there are some recognizable parallels. Although people don’t often engage in physical violence to achieve dominance, there are still recognizable leaders in different fields who have wide access to material resources and women.
Because the qualities of the Alpha Male (such as social dominance and leadership) are attractive to women, many PUAs have adopted these ideals as models of emulation. In fact, the term “alpha” has come be shorthand for the qualities of an attractive man, and it is a common refrain among PUAs to be “more alpha” or to “out alpha” competitors.
There’s a certain logic to all this. But unfortunately for the PUAs and other manospherians the notion of the Alpha male is based on bad science. The notion of Alpha dominance, as the definition above notes, came originally from studies of wolf packs. Even if we assume that wolf behavior is somehow a good model upon which to base our understanding of human romance – as manosphere men and evolutionary psychologists tend to do – the science behind the Alpha male wolf has now come completely undone, with many of those who promulgated the theory in the first place decades ago now explicitly repudiating it.
The problem, you see, is that the studies underlying the notion of the alpha male wolf, who aggressively asserts his dominance over beta males in order to rule the pack, were all based on observations of wolves in captivity. In the real world, wolf packs don’t work that way at all. Most wolf packs are basically wolf families, with a breeding pair and their pups. When male pups reach adulthood, they don’t fight their fathers for dominance — they go out and start their own families.
As noted wolf behavior expert L. David Mech, one of those who helped to establish and popularize the notion of the alpha wolf in the first place, explains on his website:
The concept of the alpha wolf is well ingrained in the popular wolf literature at least partly because of my book “The Wolf: Ecology and Behavior of an Endangered Species,” written in 1968, published in 1970, republished in paperback in 1981, and currently still in print, despite my numerous pleas to the publisher to stop publishing it. Although most of the book’s info is still accurate, much is outdated. We have learned more about wolves in the last 40 years then in all of previous history.
One of the outdated pieces of information is the concept of the alpha wolf. “Alpha” implies competing with others and becoming top dog by winning a contest or battle. However, most wolves who lead packs achieved their position simply by mating and producing pups, which then became their pack. In other words they are merely breeders, or parents, and that’s all we call them today, the “breeding male,” “breeding female,” or “male parent,” “female parent,” or the “adult male” or “adult female.” In the rare packs that include more than one breeding animal, the “dominant breeder” can be called that, and any breeding daughter can be called a “subordinate breeder.”
So the dominant male wolves – those whom manosphere dudes would still call the alphas – achieve this position not by being sexy badasses but simply by siring and taking responsibility for pups. To use the terminology in the manner of manosphere dudes, alphas become alphas by acting like betas. That’s right: alphas are betas. (For more of the details, see this paper by Mech; it’s in pdf form.)
Also, they’re wolves and not humans, but that’s a whole other kettle of anthropomorphized fish.
Actually gorillas don’t behave like that either. Generally groups consist of a silverback (mature) male, a few females and their offspring (which may include adult male offspring who haven’t left to form their own groups yet). They are tightly bonded groups. Young females will often switch groups multiple times before settling down with a silverback.
The silverback mediates disputes, will die to protect the group, if a female dies and leaves behind offspring the silverback will take over their care including sharing his nest. Now gorillas aren’t always nice, males will fight occasionally when two groups come in contact and if a new unrelated male takes over a group after the death of the previous silverback he will sometimes kill nursing infants but this isn’t that common, mostly because often a younger male in the group will take over or the group will disperse.
Don’t tell them about bonobos. Their wee little brains will asplode.
it would at least be semi-acceptable if they thought about how they were using words, but they dont. why is the thief ‘sadistic?’ for that matter, what kind of thief spends his time ‘etching, billowing, draping, and sagging’ instead of y’know, stealing shit?
I think the real takeaway is that women love men who are willing to remove lice eggs from their hair. Unlike alpha/beta, this is common to both gorillas and bonobos.
When will PUA’s write the REAL evopsych guide to picking up women?
Shorter Futrelle:
“You can safely ignore the mountains of evidence favoring the Alpha/Beta hierarchy in humans because some PUA was wrong about certain types of WOLVES! Soft/nurturing males (like me!) are therefore attractive. Squee!!”
Feminists really are like young-earth creationists, desperately seeking the slightest countercurrent to unpleasant reality.
“it would at least be semi-acceptable if they thought about how they were using words, but they dont. why is the thief ‘sadistic?’ for that matter, what kind of thief spends his time ‘etching, billowing, draping, and sagging’ instead of y’know, stealing shit?”
Exactly! I could probably describe thieves in as many words as they do and still make it more eloquent.
…….. I feel the need to write something better than them just because it’s easy.
Wait, how do bonobos work?
I do like my head skritchies. Perhaps women are simpler than we thought??
Seriously, if someone gave me and my friends a list of ten dudes we all knew in common and asked us to guess which ones were alpha and which ones were beta, I bet our guesses would not line up.
I half want someone to do this survey now, except I imagine it would wind up being like the episode of This American Life where they all get their testosterone levels measured and everybody gets worried and upset before they all learn that the only gay man among them turned out to have the highest testosterone.
Hey, I’ve spent time picking nits from kids hair. Any man who wants to spend several hours a day for the next week or so doing that is definitely gonna get some admiration from me.
So, if the betas are the alphas, and the alphas are the betas, and all along the PUAs have tried to be alphas and no betas…
Man. Normally when PUAs make my head hurt it isn’t this much fun.
Um, wouldn’t you be testing for cortisol and other stress horomones rather than testosterone?
Naw, man! EVERYBODY (by which we mean nobody) knows that T is what makes a man a man! Don’t get any on the ladies, they will totally become Rambo. Measuring you Testerosity is the only way to know how manfully manly you are!!!
Right, I think it goes to show that we don’t know what the hell we should be testing for. It’s a pretty funny episode, though: http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/220/testosterone/
I think they’ve even stopped making it about even pretend wolves a long time ago. I don’t think it’s even about pretend (non-pygmy) Chimps anymore.
I think they’ve gone insular and are only communicating based on a shared understanding of their own pretend world.
Signalling status within it with such terms as “beta” and “alpha” 😉
And then they refer to “mountains of evidence” supporting their position, by which they never seem to mean actual science.
@aworld: we point, laugh, tell them how dumb they are.
Still, 1,000 crybabies is preferable to Joe the 1st.
dominant breeder still is an alpha.
the other wolves that aren’t breeders are beta
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The “other wolves that aren’t breeders” are often not breeding because the other females in the pack ARE THEIR SISTERS.
Please tell me that PUA isn’t too frequent in university circles, or at least not the ones I’d be gauged as being likely to find myself among.
This is pretty fantastic right here.
What even is the Alpha/Beta hierarchy? It it’s like apes, it means that men don’t sleep with women if they’re likely to be related. I can live with that.
It it means that society has been ruled by old aggressive men for so long that we’ve come up with thousands of ways to glorify and appease them, then there’s a better word. It’s called patriarchy.
If you don’t like patriarchy, you might want to consider supporting feminist organizations?
Ugh, I think that was really well-put.
@aworld
My advice is to take people’s interest in PUA as the glorious gift that it is: a good way to tell who is a fun responsible adult and who is a manboy overinvested in proving masculinity. There are enough of both for you to just hang out with the former, and not care about the latter because they’re clearly idiots anyway.
I had friends in college who were into PUA. It made me feel bad because I felt that I wasn’t cool or masculine enough to be into their games. Then I realized they were complete tools and my life has been much better for it.
The thief… of Youth. Etching wrinkles at the mouth, the hands, and the corners of eyes; draping wizened skin where it was once taught and regularly exfoliated; dragging women’s only assets down with the relentless pull of time!
… I got nothing for billowing, though. Billowing?
The sight of birth is the primary event of wonder and joy and for men the primary experience of envy. That’s why the concept of penis envy is secondary and to most women, laughable.
reactionaries can’t shorter. that’s our thing.
a bunch of low comment blogs = mountains of evidence?
that’s cute, champ