Manosphere misogynists like to tell themselves fairy tales about women. Their favorite such tale, repeated endlessly, is one called “The Cock Carousel” – sometimes referred to in expanded form as the “Alpha Asshole Cock Carousel” or the “Bad Boy Cock Carousel.” (Hence that Rooster-riding gal you see in this blog’s header about half the time.)
Despite the different names, the story is always, monotonously, the same: In their late teens and twenties, when they’re at the height of their sexual appeal, women (or at least the overwhelming majority of them) have sex in rapid succession with an assortment of charismatic but unreliable alpha males and “bad boys” who make their vaginas (or just ‘ginas) tingle. Then, sometime in their mid-to-late twenties, these women “hit the wall,” with their so-called sexual market value (or SMV) dropping faster than Facebook’s stock price. As Roissy/Heartiste puts it, in his typically overheated prose:
So sad, so tragic, the inevitable slide into sexual worthlessness that accompanies women, the withering tick tock of the cosmic clock stripping their beauty in flayed bits of soulletting mignons like psychological ling chi. A sadistic thief in the night etching, billowing, draping and sagging a new affront to her most preciously guarded asset.
While many women try to pretend they’ve still “got it,” even at the ripe old age of thirty, they inevitably have to either get off or get thrown off the “cock carousel.” At this point the more savvy women glom onto some convenient “beta male” who, while somewhat lacking in sexual appeal, will at least be a good husband and provider for them – and in many cases the children they’ve had with alpha male seed. Those women who don’t accept the new reality are destined to end up alone and childless, surrounded by cats.
To borrow the phrase South Park used in its episodes about Scientology and Mormonism, this is what manosphere men actually believe. Not only that, but they claim that this fairy tale is based on real science.
So who are these mysterious alpha males that get the women so excited? As one guide to pickup artist (PUA) lingo puts it:
In animal hierarchies, the Alpha Male is the most dominant, and typically the physically strongest member of the group. For example, in wolf packs, the “alpha wolf” is the strongest member of the pack, and is the leader of the group. This position of leadership is often achieved by killing or defeating the previous Alpha Male in combat. Alpha wolves have first access to food as well as mating privileges with the females of the pack.
Social status among human social groups is less rigidly defined than in the animal kingdom, but there are some recognizable parallels. Although people don’t often engage in physical violence to achieve dominance, there are still recognizable leaders in different fields who have wide access to material resources and women.
Because the qualities of the Alpha Male (such as social dominance and leadership) are attractive to women, many PUAs have adopted these ideals as models of emulation. In fact, the term “alpha” has come be shorthand for the qualities of an attractive man, and it is a common refrain among PUAs to be “more alpha” or to “out alpha” competitors.
There’s a certain logic to all this. But unfortunately for the PUAs and other manospherians the notion of the Alpha male is based on bad science. The notion of Alpha dominance, as the definition above notes, came originally from studies of wolf packs. Even if we assume that wolf behavior is somehow a good model upon which to base our understanding of human romance – as manosphere men and evolutionary psychologists tend to do – the science behind the Alpha male wolf has now come completely undone, with many of those who promulgated the theory in the first place decades ago now explicitly repudiating it.
The problem, you see, is that the studies underlying the notion of the alpha male wolf, who aggressively asserts his dominance over beta males in order to rule the pack, were all based on observations of wolves in captivity. In the real world, wolf packs don’t work that way at all. Most wolf packs are basically wolf families, with a breeding pair and their pups. When male pups reach adulthood, they don’t fight their fathers for dominance — they go out and start their own families.
As noted wolf behavior expert L. David Mech, one of those who helped to establish and popularize the notion of the alpha wolf in the first place, explains on his website:
The concept of the alpha wolf is well ingrained in the popular wolf literature at least partly because of my book “The Wolf: Ecology and Behavior of an Endangered Species,” written in 1968, published in 1970, republished in paperback in 1981, and currently still in print, despite my numerous pleas to the publisher to stop publishing it. Although most of the book’s info is still accurate, much is outdated. We have learned more about wolves in the last 40 years then in all of previous history.
One of the outdated pieces of information is the concept of the alpha wolf. “Alpha” implies competing with others and becoming top dog by winning a contest or battle. However, most wolves who lead packs achieved their position simply by mating and producing pups, which then became their pack. In other words they are merely breeders, or parents, and that’s all we call them today, the “breeding male,” “breeding female,” or “male parent,” “female parent,” or the “adult male” or “adult female.” In the rare packs that include more than one breeding animal, the “dominant breeder” can be called that, and any breeding daughter can be called a “subordinate breeder.”
So the dominant male wolves – those whom manosphere dudes would still call the alphas – achieve this position not by being sexy badasses but simply by siring and taking responsibility for pups. To use the terminology in the manner of manosphere dudes, alphas become alphas by acting like betas. That’s right: alphas are betas. (For more of the details, see this paper by Mech; it’s in pdf form.)
Also, they’re wolves and not humans, but that’s a whole other kettle of anthropomorphized fish.
Ah, yes, male gorilla behavior is exactly what you would expect and predict, PUAs.
http://www.springerlink.com/content/r0428514146447g5/
I’m sure there’s some valuable information about human behavior we can glean from these gay gorilla packs.
…no?
Dangit! Closetags are hard.
Cloudiah, sort of like The Fun House, except not fun?
You’d need a bar that has its own special brews, with one called “Pussy”. It would have a giant sign out the front saying “Pussy on Tap”.
How about the house of Friend Zone, where you have to experience the horrors of being a creepy neckbearded guy who gets friendzoned by everyone?
@Sharculese thanks, upper arm strength is another alpha trait 😉
@clairedammit there are many different shades on the spectrum to be sure, but alpha and beta are useful archtypes
Oh, and of course Bumper Cats, in which those women who’ve hit the wall but failed to acquire a suitable “beta male” smash large motorized cats into each other while crying bitterly.
False. http://pin.primate.wisc.edu/factsheets/entry/gorilla/behav
Gorillas live in family groups with a father, several females, and their offspring. Other males do not mate with the females as a behavioral adaptation to prevent incest, as they are likely to be the son or nephew of the females. When new unrelated females are introduced to a group, they do mate with them or go off to found a new family. This hierarchy is by age, not physically enforced.
So, if we’re like gorillas, than beta males are only betas if they have a high probalility of being closely related to all possible sexual partners. Alpha males are individuals who, by definition, are raising a family with one or more mothers. How is this explained in PUA?
Aworldanonymous, it doesn’t work. Freindzone is actually one of the best places in the world to be–you get all kinds of interesting friends in there.
Re: Graham and suchlike: as I say. Poe’s law strikes again.
@cloudiah:
Can’t sleep. Rubbish stuffed wolf will eat me.
Can’t sleep. Rubbish stuffed wolf will eat me.
I should amend that–it doesn’t work as a ‘horror’ style name.
On the other hand, “Friendzone; the bar where you can hang out with men and women alike and there’s no flirting allowed” would be kinda nice.
Well. Kinda nice for some of us.
@howardbann1ster
It is if you’re an MRA.
His prose may be overheated, but his ideas are half baked.
I tried to explain MRAs to my husband, and he laughed and wondered how people could be that stupid. I believe his exact words were, “what the fuck?”
LOL! “Sure, alpha and beta don’t describe reality, but they’re useful.” How can something that is false be useful? Useful for what? Obscuring reality?
Ohm great, this gonna be 1,000 whines from PUA crybabies coming out of the woodwork to tell us how wrong science is. Take it up with science, dudes.
lol
‘well sure human behavior is complicated, but that’s no reason no to behave as if it can be defined by a rigid binary.’
fuck ninja’d
I said it first, but you said it better.
So when the PUA kids get here and start whining, what do?
make fun of them for thinking a dumb thing, duh
BECAUSE…..HOOERS! THAT’S HOW!
“every sentence is worse than the one before it. roissy is worse writer than fucking mikey”
It’s like they think more words = better writing. (Protip: It doesn’t.)
I told a friend about “Giny Tingles”. She thought it was so funny it’s now an inside joke.
@Falconer Rubbish stuffed wolf will haunt my dreams, that’s for sure.