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Heartiste: Women athletes are mannish uggos because “women’s natural bodies are not evolutionarily designed to run, throw, fight or lift optimally.”

An innately unsexy lady athlete somehow cons a dude into kissing her.

So over on Chateau Heartiste, the Dude Who Used to Call Himself Roissy seems personally affronted that the female athletes in the Olympics, by and large, didn’t live up to his wet dreams of Perfect Womanhood. In one post, he hails a Turkish newspaper columnist (yes, the same one we talked about here) who complained about the allegedly unwomanly bosoms of female Olympians, and offers his own less-than-complimentary assessment of their looks:

Who with the eyes to see hasn’t noticed the narrow hips, the grotesque six-pack abs (never a good look on women), the chest “stubs”, the linebacker shoulders, and the manjaws of an inordinate number of the female Olympians?  

So why does it matter that Roissy/Heartiste couldn’t get a boner watching the Olympics? Apparently because these women are violating the PRIME DIRECTIVE, which forbids representatives of the United Federation of Planets from “intervene[ing] in matters which are essentially the domestic jurisdiction of any planetary social system.”

Sorry, that’s the PRIME DIRECTIVE from Star Trek. These gals are violating what Roissy/Heartiste thinks are mother nature’s PRIME DIRECTIVES (plural) for women, which are to look pretty and make babies. No, really. You see, women aren’t actually supposed to be, or look, athletic. It’s SCIENCE.

[W]omen must conform more to the male physique ideal in order to compete successfully in sports, and particularly elite sports, because women’s natural bodies are not evolutionarily designed to run, throw, fight or lift optimally like men’s bodies are designed to do.

Yeah, there’s no evolutionary advantage in being athletic, if you’re a gal. Evidently female hunter gatherers during humankind’s “environment of evolutionary adaptedness” didn’t ever run or throw or carry or fight anything or anyone, spending most of their time hanging out in cave clubs and texting their friends on their Smart Rocks.

Women’s bodies are — and I know this will get under the skin of the right sort of losers — shaped by the relentless laws of nature to fulfill TWO PRIME DIRECTIVES.

Visually please men.

And bear children.

Everything else women do is commentary.

Apparently Roissy/Heartiste has become an amateur Torah scholar. (And not a very good one, at that.)

You might be wondering: if Roissy/Heartiste really believes in all the evolutionary psych crap he constantly spouts, why on earth would he care that some women aren’t fulfilling their evolutionary duty to give him boners? Won’t they just get bred out of existence? What does it matter to him?

Well, evidently Roissy/Heartiste was feeling so defensive about people asking this very question that he wrote a whole other post explaining, sort of, why he cares. Sorry, why he totally doesn’t care.

The issue being raised was never about how much it personally mattered to me, or affected my own life. That’s the problem with you unthinking liberals — you always want to reframe an argument you find distasteful, or you find yourself on the losing end of, into a personal matter, a position from which it’s easier for you to morally strut and preen and preach fire and brimstone from your tawdry little masturbatoriums.

Yeah, you strutting masturbatoriumizing liberals! How dare you ask him why he spends so much of his life complaining about the bodies of women who don’t give him boners?

He continues:

The morality, or lack thereof, of manned-up women competing in the Olympics is not the point of the Olympic female athlete post. No one’s rights are abridged if some manly swole she-beast hoists 400 lbs above her head, nor is any moral law du jour violated. The point here is to remind the losers and equalists and assorted anti-realists that there is nothing inherently empowering about female sports participation unless one defines empowerment as “becoming more man-like”. It is also to address, honestly and truthfully, the obvious fact that a lot of female athletes are just quasi-men, in appearance, musculature and temperament.

Boy, there’s a brave and original notion.

Therefore, the encouragement of women by the media industrial complex into elite sports mostly rests on a foundation of denying women their feminine essence.

Huh. In his first post on the subject, Roissy/Heartiste complained about the “narrow hips” and “manjaws” of female Olympians. Did the evil “media industrial complex” somehow lure women into developing narrower hips and less-rounded jaws? Is Roissy/Heartiste some kind of Evo Psych Lamarckian?

A nation that wasn’t fucked in the head with an overload of kumbaya horseshit would not shy away from this bald truth of the reality of sex differences, and would realign its cultural incentives so that a proper balance was restored, reflecting innate biological reality, until sports programs and funding return to what they once were: mostly geared toward men.

If “innate biological reality” demands that women remain unathletic (and thus pleasing to Roissy/Heartiste’s eyes and penis), why are there any female athletes in the first place? If athletic women are by definition going against nature, why bother talking about culture at all, much less the urgent need to “realign cultural incentives?”

Evo Psych types like Roissy/Heartiste like to pretend that it’s biology, not culture, that sets up the allegedly innate differences between men and women. But somehow culture matters again when people stubbornly refuse to conform to their supposedly natural roles.

At the very least, the feminist propagandizing of female sports empowerment has to end, and hand-wringing over “equal representation” needs to become a shameful relic from this ugly, god-willing bygone era.

Huh. So I’m beginning to get the impression that you do care about all this, after all.

In the comments, some dude calling himself Maximin manages to be even more pompous than Roissy/Heartiste himself, declaring that

feminism … aspires, in the name of equality, to make women in to men, but revealing, at the same time, the inherent hatred of women that is feminism. This is not equality—rather this is bigotry against women. By forcing women to act like men—to look like men, to have the musculature of men, to date like men, to have sex like men, to work like men, what they are saying is: the male body and the creations of the male body are superior to the female body and the creations of the female body. Therefore, change the female body into the male body and hence allow the female body to then create male works (and from what we have seen, these masculine women can only, at best, land in mediocrity).

And of course, it’s ugly women who are to blame for it all:

It comes from a hatred of the female—most likely from highly masculine women who are naturally more intelligent and competitive than highly feminine women. They cannot garner the attraction of men because they are ugly, so they scorch of the earth of femininity, and suddenly the scales are tipped in their favor. Beware a masculine woman scorned: she will burn down the world and rebuild it in her favor.

Fellas, be careful! If you don’t watch out, Holley Mangold will sneak into your bedroom at night and LIFT YOU OVER HER HEAD!

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blitzgal
12 years ago

In the 19th century, the “experts” believed that athletic women literally became male. As in, their ladybits stopped working. So MRAs, you aren’t as clever as you think you are. You’re just spouting the same shit that idiots just like you have been spouting for centuries.

ostara321
ostara321
12 years ago

“Athletes are proud of their bodies and don’t seem to get butthurt over being admired for them. Unlike some feminists!”

I think the more correct phrasing here would probably be that athletes should be proud of their bodies because they can do all sorts of awesome things and probably don’t give a shit what you think because your opinion on their hotness isn’t actually all that fucking important.

I know I’m just a mean meanie feminist from Nobonerton, but srsly guys, the status of your boner is not the center of the universe. Nor is it the point of the Olympics. I know, I know, oh the humanity, etc.

Ugh
Ugh
12 years ago

If the idea is to just generate as many offspring as possible then a successful male will have more than he can reasonably care for so will not be greatly involved in raising them, if at all.

Why is it that evopsych guys consistently misunderstand both psychology AND evolution?

Evolutionary pressures don’t care how many offspring an individual has. They care how many offspring live to reproductive age. Not caring about your children, when human children are overwhelmingly weak and helpless, is overwhelmingly NOT selected for.

Of course, it’s all kind of academic because evolution is obviously not the primary driver of human behavior. Have you ever seen a deer? Did you have the uncontrollable urge to tackle that deer and feast on the gooey insides? Congratulations! Your behavior is not primarily driven by evolution!

Dumbass Apostrophe
Dumbass Apostrophe
12 years ago

I move we rename the field of evo psych to something more in line with its credibility. My submission is “psycholution”.

Ugh
Ugh
12 years ago

Dudebrology.

Sharculese
12 years ago

I would LOVE to get my hands on a TARDIS and drag guys like Roissy through time to show them what women looked like and did throughout history

i dont want to go anywhere with roissy he sounds like a really dull person

Nanasha
Nanasha
12 years ago

When will these douchenozzles get it?

“I’m not attracted to this person” =/= “this person should not exist/have legal rights/be treated like a human being”

IT’S OK NOT TO LIKE EVERYONE. It’s just not ok to DEHUMANIZE them for it.

Falconer
12 years ago

(Humans scavenged a lot of corpses left behind by other predators – if the choice was to hunt vs drag home an all ready dead body, the latter was safer and more energy efficient.)

Besides, if you hunted that mammoth and missed, the stupid dog would laugh at you.

.
.
.

… What? I’ve done the “only haul 200 pounds back to the wagon” joke to death, I needed fresh material!

ZA0
ZA0
12 years ago

I think the more correct phrasing here would probably be that athletes should be proud of their bodies because they can do all sorts of awesome things and probably don’t give a shit what you think because your opinion on their hotness isn’t actually all that fucking important.I know I’m just a mean meanie feminist from Nobonerton, but srsly guys, the status of your boner is not the center of the universe. Nor is it the point of the Olympics. I know, I know, oh the humanity, etc.

Butthurt much? 😛

What matters is that enough people out there think they’re hot. I’m just one person but I’m one of MANY. 😉

The original Olympics in ancient Greece was comprised of athletes who were butt naked. You can better believe that there were men who saw those muscular nude bodies and got a stiffy. LOLz

blitzgal
12 years ago

What matters is that enough people out there think they’re hot. I’m just one person but I’m one of MANY.

Yup, if enough people are assholes, that totally justifies you being an asshole. That’s how it works, yo.

ZA0
ZA0
12 years ago

WTF makes people assholes for finding an athlete sex and being open about it?

ostara321
ostara321
12 years ago

Butthurt much?

No, but apparently you are that people have the temerity to tell you your a stupid fuck.

What matters is that enough people out there think they’re hot. I’m just one person but I’m one of MANY.

Not really, actually. What I think matters to a lot of Olympic athletes is if they win.

The original Olympics in ancient Greece was comprised of athletes who were butt naked. You can better believe that there were men who saw those muscular nude bodies and got a stiffy. LOLz

Sure, if they were gay. The Olympics in ancient Greece comprised of only male athletes. LOL UR HISTORY!

ZA0
ZA0
12 years ago

What I think matters to a lot of Olympic athletes is if they win.

This does not imply that it’s the ONLY thing that matters to them. Without spectators, there would be no Olympics. People are sexual creatures, and when they see folks with fabulous bodies showing the off while doing sports, those drives get activated. Deal with it.

ZA0
ZA0
12 years ago

your a stupid fuck

You fail to realize the difference between a a possessive pronoun and the contraction of a personal pronoun with the conjugated verb to be. Now who’s the stupid fuck here!

Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
12 years ago

You fail to realize the difference between a a possessive pronoun and the contraction of a personal pronoun with the conjugated verb to be.

If you’re going to play grammar police, make sure you proofread.

Ugh
Ugh
12 years ago

Oh no team! Making grammar mistakes is so much dumber than posting in support of internet misogynists and saying that women’s sports only exist because those women are sexy!

We are all defeated!

Sharculese
12 years ago

You fail to realize the difference between a a possessive pronoun and the contraction of a personal pronoun with the conjugated verb to be. Now who’s the stupid fuck here!

probably the one who thinks his lame grammar scold comebacks make him sound clever, imo

Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
12 years ago

PS – The question “Now who’s the stupid fuck here!” should end with a question mark, not an exclamation mark. You stupid fuck.

ZA0
ZA0
12 years ago

saying that women’s sports only exist because those women are sexy!

STRAWMAN! STRAWMAN!

Not what I said or implied at all. Calling someone a misogynist because he says that some female athletes are sexy is below stupid.

Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
12 years ago

Is this MSN, by the way?

ostara321
ostara321
12 years ago

This does not imply that it’s the ONLY thing that matters to them.

http://sports.yahoo.com/news/olympics–british-female-weightlifter-fires-back-at-twitter-bullies.html

From the article quoting lady Olympic athlete, Zoe Smith “We don’t lift weights in order to look hot”. Pretty sure they don’t care if you do or don’t want to fuck them.

Also, thanks for the grammar police insult. Yep, you got me, I forgot to proofread. Oh the humanity, etc.

Ugh
Ugh
12 years ago

@ZAO

Learn to read. I called Roissy a misogynist, which he is (search his name on this site), and I said you were posting in support of him, which makes you pretty stupid.

And you did indeed imply that women’s Olympic sports are dependent on their sex appeal. Right here:

Without spectators, there would be no Olympics. People are sexual creatures, and when they see folks with fabulous bodies showing the off while doing sports, those drives get activated. Deal with it.

The Older Comments button: we have the technology!

blitzgal
12 years ago

Sure, if they were gay. The Olympics in ancient Greece comprised of only male athletes. LOL UR HISTORY!

His point also neglects to include the history of male athleticism in ancient Greece, in which young men were often sponsored by older men who then preyed on them sexually. So he’s only reinforcing the point that we’re making here — which is that treating athletes as sexual objects is not so cool.

ShadetheDruid
ShadetheDruid
12 years ago

Can we have some new troll arguments please? Whining “you’re trying to stop me feeling attracted to *insert thing here*! waa!” when you call them out for objectifying someone is getting old. D:

blitzgal
12 years ago

Can we have some new troll arguments please?

Well, to be fair, they’ve really only ever had two — “I’m the center of the universe” and “women suck.”

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