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Heartiste: Women athletes are mannish uggos because “women’s natural bodies are not evolutionarily designed to run, throw, fight or lift optimally.”

An innately unsexy lady athlete somehow cons a dude into kissing her.

So over on Chateau Heartiste, the Dude Who Used to Call Himself Roissy seems personally affronted that the female athletes in the Olympics, by and large, didn’t live up to his wet dreams of Perfect Womanhood. In one post, he hails a Turkish newspaper columnist (yes, the same one we talked about here) who complained about the allegedly unwomanly bosoms of female Olympians, and offers his own less-than-complimentary assessment of their looks:

Who with the eyes to see hasn’t noticed the narrow hips, the grotesque six-pack abs (never a good look on women), the chest “stubs”, the linebacker shoulders, and the manjaws of an inordinate number of the female Olympians?  

So why does it matter that Roissy/Heartiste couldn’t get a boner watching the Olympics? Apparently because these women are violating the PRIME DIRECTIVE, which forbids representatives of the United Federation of Planets from “intervene[ing] in matters which are essentially the domestic jurisdiction of any planetary social system.”

Sorry, that’s the PRIME DIRECTIVE from Star Trek. These gals are violating what Roissy/Heartiste thinks are mother nature’s PRIME DIRECTIVES (plural) for women, which are to look pretty and make babies. No, really. You see, women aren’t actually supposed to be, or look, athletic. It’s SCIENCE.

[W]omen must conform more to the male physique ideal in order to compete successfully in sports, and particularly elite sports, because women’s natural bodies are not evolutionarily designed to run, throw, fight or lift optimally like men’s bodies are designed to do.

Yeah, there’s no evolutionary advantage in being athletic, if you’re a gal. Evidently female hunter gatherers during humankind’s “environment of evolutionary adaptedness” didn’t ever run or throw or carry or fight anything or anyone, spending most of their time hanging out in cave clubs and texting their friends on their Smart Rocks.

Women’s bodies are — and I know this will get under the skin of the right sort of losers — shaped by the relentless laws of nature to fulfill TWO PRIME DIRECTIVES.

Visually please men.

And bear children.

Everything else women do is commentary.

Apparently Roissy/Heartiste has become an amateur Torah scholar. (And not a very good one, at that.)

You might be wondering: if Roissy/Heartiste really believes in all the evolutionary psych crap he constantly spouts, why on earth would he care that some women aren’t fulfilling their evolutionary duty to give him boners? Won’t they just get bred out of existence? What does it matter to him?

Well, evidently Roissy/Heartiste was feeling so defensive about people asking this very question that he wrote a whole other post explaining, sort of, why he cares. Sorry, why he totally doesn’t care.

The issue being raised was never about how much it personally mattered to me, or affected my own life. That’s the problem with you unthinking liberals — you always want to reframe an argument you find distasteful, or you find yourself on the losing end of, into a personal matter, a position from which it’s easier for you to morally strut and preen and preach fire and brimstone from your tawdry little masturbatoriums.

Yeah, you strutting masturbatoriumizing liberals! How dare you ask him why he spends so much of his life complaining about the bodies of women who don’t give him boners?

He continues:

The morality, or lack thereof, of manned-up women competing in the Olympics is not the point of the Olympic female athlete post. No one’s rights are abridged if some manly swole she-beast hoists 400 lbs above her head, nor is any moral law du jour violated. The point here is to remind the losers and equalists and assorted anti-realists that there is nothing inherently empowering about female sports participation unless one defines empowerment as “becoming more man-like”. It is also to address, honestly and truthfully, the obvious fact that a lot of female athletes are just quasi-men, in appearance, musculature and temperament.

Boy, there’s a brave and original notion.

Therefore, the encouragement of women by the media industrial complex into elite sports mostly rests on a foundation of denying women their feminine essence.

Huh. In his first post on the subject, Roissy/Heartiste complained about the “narrow hips” and “manjaws” of female Olympians. Did the evil “media industrial complex” somehow lure women into developing narrower hips and less-rounded jaws? Is Roissy/Heartiste some kind of Evo Psych Lamarckian?

A nation that wasn’t fucked in the head with an overload of kumbaya horseshit would not shy away from this bald truth of the reality of sex differences, and would realign its cultural incentives so that a proper balance was restored, reflecting innate biological reality, until sports programs and funding return to what they once were: mostly geared toward men.

If “innate biological reality” demands that women remain unathletic (and thus pleasing to Roissy/Heartiste’s eyes and penis), why are there any female athletes in the first place? If athletic women are by definition going against nature, why bother talking about culture at all, much less the urgent need to “realign cultural incentives?”

Evo Psych types like Roissy/Heartiste like to pretend that it’s biology, not culture, that sets up the allegedly innate differences between men and women. But somehow culture matters again when people stubbornly refuse to conform to their supposedly natural roles.

At the very least, the feminist propagandizing of female sports empowerment has to end, and hand-wringing over “equal representation” needs to become a shameful relic from this ugly, god-willing bygone era.

Huh. So I’m beginning to get the impression that you do care about all this, after all.

In the comments, some dude calling himself Maximin manages to be even more pompous than Roissy/Heartiste himself, declaring that

feminism … aspires, in the name of equality, to make women in to men, but revealing, at the same time, the inherent hatred of women that is feminism. This is not equality—rather this is bigotry against women. By forcing women to act like men—to look like men, to have the musculature of men, to date like men, to have sex like men, to work like men, what they are saying is: the male body and the creations of the male body are superior to the female body and the creations of the female body. Therefore, change the female body into the male body and hence allow the female body to then create male works (and from what we have seen, these masculine women can only, at best, land in mediocrity).

And of course, it’s ugly women who are to blame for it all:

It comes from a hatred of the female—most likely from highly masculine women who are naturally more intelligent and competitive than highly feminine women. They cannot garner the attraction of men because they are ugly, so they scorch of the earth of femininity, and suddenly the scales are tipped in their favor. Beware a masculine woman scorned: she will burn down the world and rebuild it in her favor.

Fellas, be careful! If you don’t watch out, Holley Mangold will sneak into your bedroom at night and LIFT YOU OVER HER HEAD!

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creativewritingstudent
creativewritingstudent
12 years ago

How obsessed with boob do you have to be?!

aworldanonymous
12 years ago

How obsessed with boob do you have to be?!

I imagine quite a significant degree of obsession is required.

clairedammit
clairedammit
12 years ago

I can’t get over him calling small breasts “stubs.” It’s guys like this that make me glad I’m barely an A cup.

Unimaginative
12 years ago

Speaking of people who think they’re alpha males, I learned a thing on the internet the other day. L. David Mech, who coined the term “alpha” male in his book about wolves, says that they don’t use that term anymore. They now use “breeder” male (and female).

http://www.davemech.org/news.html

“Alpha” implies competing with others and becoming top dog by winning a contest or battle. However, most wolves who lead packs achieved their position simply by mating and producing pups, which then became their pack. In other words they are merely breeders, or parents

*sits back and eagerly awaits the mass of PUAs adopting the new wolfy terminology*

creativewritingstudent
creativewritingstudent
12 years ago

PUA ‘Guru’: “With these tips, you too can become a breeder male!”
Dude in back: “Is tip one ‘never use a condom’?”

Unimaginative
12 years ago

@clairedammit: Scalzi! That’s where I learned it! (Man, my memory. It is full of holes.)

aworldanonymous
12 years ago

“Alpha” implies competing with others and becoming top dog by winning a contest or battle. However, most wolves who lead packs achieved their position simply by mating and producing pups, which then became their pack. In other words they are merely breeders, or parents

Well, my day has just been made, that’s one bit of major BIOTRUTH gone forever. 😀

clairedammit
clairedammit
12 years ago

I just discovered Scalzi’s blog when he wrote about how not to be creepy and was linked on Capt. Awkward. He’s awesome!

tentacledancer
tentacledancer
12 years ago

These guys must secretly hate themselves if they think there is anything wrong with being a man.

pecunium
pecunium
12 years ago

I once pointed out that if Alpha were truly alpha, he would be out banging broads, not sharing with Betas and Omegas hpw to get the women.

Ergo the people following him were therefore trying to learn to be Betas.

It was amusing.

katz
12 years ago

“Hugh Hefner presented a target achievable with a soft regimen of a little bikini volleyball in the pool, and a thin dew of perspiration after a pillow fight.”

PffffAHAHAHAHA!

It’s like he thinks what women do in porn is totally their actual lifestyle!

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
12 years ago

Sometimes I think that Roissy has to be a poe, and then I remember that there is no limit to how ridiculous PUAs can be.

Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
12 years ago

Sometimes I think that Roissy has to be a poe, and then I remember that there is no limit to how ridiculous PUAs can be.

I suspect some of his nonsense is semi-deliberate; a sort of “how obviously wrong can I be,before my sycophantic followers notice.”

Not that that makes it any less awful, of course.

Mayara Arend
12 years ago

I just couldn’t get past where he says that the onl purpose for women is to “look pretty” and “have babies”. I just can’t.

aworldanonymous
12 years ago

Well, when it comes to that Scalzi blog, I think I’ve got most of the stuff to not being creepy, but when I do all of that and people still think I’m creepy, then what?

aworldanonymous
12 years ago

Like, I’ve said before I’m an aspie, if I creep someone out even while following as much advice on how not to be creepy as I possibly can without contradicting myself, do I just leave them alone?

aworldanonymous
12 years ago

Most of the time I don’t even know if I’m making someone uncomfortable or not, mind blindness sucks.

pecunium
pecunium
12 years ago

I don’t think Roissy has the self confidence to try that trick.

clairedammit
clairedammit
12 years ago

If one or two people still think you’re creepy, fuck ’em. You’ll know they’re wrong.

Reynardine
Reynardine
12 years ago

You know how long those allegedly nurturing, womanly beings called nurses have been lifting and moving patients sometimes double their weight?…

Unimaginative
12 years ago

@aworldanonymous: my suggestion would be to straight-up say to individuals that you have problems identifying boundaries, and you would like clear feedback on when you’re violating them. And when they give you that feedback, thank them and back off.

A long time ago, I had a co-worker who’d had a brain injury that resulted in his not being able to tell when he was being inappropriate. He and his team worked out a system that worked for them, which was essentially that they would tell him when he was stepping out of bounds, and he would stop doing whatever it was that made them uncomfortable. They all agreed that those interactions were straight information-sharing. There was no blaming, no hurt feelings, and no drama. And everybody got along nicely during work hours, which was all anybody wanted.

Also, check out Captain Awkward:

http://captainawkward.com/2012/08/07/322-323-my-friend-group-has-a-case-of-the-creepy-dude-how-do-we-clear-that-up/

http://captainawkward.com/2012/08/11/the-c-word/

Her commentariat have awesomely good advice.

In my experience, socially-awkward people who have good intentions don’t come across as predators, and it’s the predatory thing that makes people creepy.

Unimaginative
12 years ago

Also, what clairedammit said. Don’t hang out with people who make you feel bad about yourself. Unfortunately, some people get a lot of entertainment out of making people feel bad about themselves.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
12 years ago

I’m considerably less tolerant of creepy behavior than is typical, and I’ve worked around a lot of guys who’re on the spectrum (used to be in the tech industry). None of them have ever creeped me out – it was always Handsy McLeery the hotshot sales manager that gave me the creeps, not the awkward programmer who talked my ear off about some random subject he was obsessing about.

jumbofish
jumbofish
12 years ago

Yeah if someone says you are creepy it doesn’t always mean you are. Some people think being quiet, shy, or introverted = creepy.