So the top post in the Men’s Rights subreddit for a time yesterday, with hundreds of upvotes, was a post devoted to the question: “Why should male gamers change their behavior?” Yep, apparently the sacred right of men and boys to harass women and girls on Xbox live is one of the most important Men’s Rights issues of the day. Here’s how the OP, IsItRacistToAsk, framed the issue:
[G]amers themselves (until relatively recently) were a 90% male community. This goes back really far if you count non-video-game games (like Dungeons and Dragons and the like). Now all of a sudden they’re expected to just behave differently because some girls want to join?
I’m not saying girls shouldn’t be welcome in gaming communities, I’m just comparing them to someone who shows up, uninvited, to a house party and demands everyone go out and get blue plastic cups because red offends her.
Well, no, it’s more like a girl or a woman going to a public event, open to everyone, and facing a small army of creepy dudes who come up to her making sandwich jokes and calling her a bitch and a whore and a fat slut and demanding that she show her tits and when she refuses telling her “I hope your vibrator shorts out and fries your fucking vagina.”
The OP’s response to harassment? Well, guy gamers regularly get called “faggot” and “n*gger,” so girls and women should just suck it up.
Yeah, it would be too much to ask to suggest that guy gamers actually stop calling each other racist and homophobic slurs as well. Because, really, how can you possibly enjoy Call of Duty without calling some guy who’s just shot you a “fag.” Seriously, gals, you need to model yourselves on the mostly straight white dudes of Reddit who really don’t mind when people call them “n*ggers” and “fags.”
The discussion (more than 700 comments worth at the moment) is about as terrible as you might expect, filled with epic shitlordery and self-congratulation and calls for the gals to “man the fuck up,” with only a handful of commenters having anything bad to say about the culture of harassment in online gaming. Indeed, most of the gamers in the conversation seem to feel proud that online gaming culture is as shitty as it is.
Some highlights:
JonLR won himself more than a hundred upvotes for this self-congratulatory assholery:
By asking to never be made fun of, they’re essentially asking for special treatment. These days, ‘gamer girls’ go on and on about wanting to be treated like everyone else, but then cry when they are?
I used to play Quake 1 online, and a lot of the players knew I was short (5’7″). I got called a fucking midget every game, haha. My asian clanmate got called a chink every game. Fat people got called fat, girl players got called sluts, everyone made fun of everyone. No one cared. It was all aimed at throwing people off their game.
What the fuck happened in the past 15 years that made it the worst thing imaginable to insult a girl in gaming? Whatever it was, it’s embarrassing to witness.
Oneiorosgrip got nearly two hundred upvotes for her special snowflaking:
I’m not a video gamer – long time tabletop gamer though…
Remembering when I was the only girl in the group, it strikes me that modern gamer girls are spoiled princesses who expect to walk a path they did not forge, without ever seeing any of the dirt along the side. Those of use who played before there was internet, before there was linking between video game systems… before there were RPGs on video game systems, for that matter… we didn’t earn our place among the gaming community by whining about shit like that. You had to be able to take it, and dish back, or you took your dice and went home.
I took my dice and went home only once, and found that to be a wholly unsatisfying response. After that, I learned to eschew restraint and mouth off in kind. That was more effective, and more fun, and I think it would be the more appropriate handling of today’s gaming environment, as well.
In other words, IMO, modern girl gamers really just need to man the fuck up.
Men’s Rights subreddit regular Demonspawn was his normal charming self:
Men take the shit to make a niche, once it’s successful women want to take it over.
This is the world order, nothing new about it. I’m just glad that gamers are finally saying “No.”
Sidetracking got dozens of upvotes for suggesting that women and girls just hide their identity and pretend to be guys, because gamer girls who acknowledge their gender online are just attention whores hungry for female privilege anyway:
When anybody plays a video game, without talking, they are pretty much concealed. Nobody really knows what gender, age, etc. In real life, girls expect this privileged talking, because people want to engage in intercourse with them, however, over a video game, this privilege is gone. In order to get the privilege back they say “Hey, I’m a girl”, not knowing that this privilege is completely removed over the internet. Then they get over-sensitized when someone calls them a bad name, when they don’t realize that pretty much everyone calls anyone out over the internet.
Daysleepin83 also got dozens of upvotes for talking about the kinds of “gamer girls” he hates the most: The ones who complain and the ones who, evidently,wear no clothes.
For the most part i really don’t give two shits about what sex my opponent is.
But there are two types of “gamer girls” that really piss me off. There are those like Anita Sarkeesian who seem to bitch and nag about all that is sexist and wrong with video games. Doesn’t really offer any solution to the problems she digs up, aside from telling us we need to change. …
Then there is the second group, they don’t so much as piss me off but more like aggravate me. The sexy gamer girl. … Could she be a legitimate gamer? Sure of course she could be. I could also one day become the Pope. Till she puts some clothing on and picks up that controller i am not going to take her serious as a gamer.
MrDorph explained that he hates those “girl gamers” who “have to shove down your throat.” (Shove what? Your own assholery?)
The issue I have is girl gamers who have to shove down your throat. I imagine the majority just don’t give a shit and tend not to talk or if they do its not provocative. The moment I hear “hey guys” I leave, I can’t be bothered with the shit storm that comes with it.
Ghebert001 told the “poor things” to get used to shitty treatment, in online gaming and everywhere else:
Bottom line is women need to learn to adapt to the “environment” (environment meaning gaming community, workplace, etc.) instead of always expecting that the “environment” adapt to them and use language like “it makes me uncomfortable” to shame others in that “environment” to accommodate them at their own expense.
Throwing in the obligatory, “women” =/= all women…don’t want to offend the poor things. Oh wait, there I go accommodating again!
Yourotherusername wins points for pomposity with this response to the OP:
Well put. Like many things, the environment of gaming has it’s own language. It isn’t the language of Shakespeare or high-finance. It’s high context communication. It’s code. It isn’t (usually) to be take at face value. The problem for the people who complain, is that the marketers who attracted them to play the game, didn’t tell them how the game is played and the vocabulary needed.
If a person hangs out with a group of people not in their normal click, they need to understand that what is being said, might not actually be what was meant, and until they grasp the context, they need to keep their mouth shut if they don’t want to look like an asshole. I’d much rather ‘learn the language’ than try to change a sub-culture.
Take reddit for example. Expect masturbation jokes. Expect memes. Expect stereotypes. But in all of that, you will find that once you adapt and understand the context, it becomes more than a middle school locker room (especially in the smaller subreddits). IF you are so bold as to challenge the nature of communication on Reddit by admonishing others and trying to get them to change their way, you will be anathema, and most likely down voted to hell. The best you can do to change the language, is to be an example of what you want, and hope to flying spaghetti monster, that it catches on.
TLDR: Go with the flow or don’t go at all.
Reddit: Awful and proud of it.
Meanwhile, elsewhere on the Men’s Rights subreddit, someone has once again posted a link to the “The Catalogue of Anti-Male Shaming Tactics,” because god forbid anyone ever say anything “shaming” about MRAs for being the shitty people they are.
So sexism in gaming isn’t a problem, everyone experiences equal harassment but if it really annoys you never let anyone know you are a woman, then it won’t happen. Yay! Logic!
Shade, I think it was you that told me about a game about ancient Egyptian civilization and where I could buy it, and I thought I emailed the info to myself but can’t find it. Was that you? Do you have ANY idea what I am talking about? 😉
Now I want a combustible lemon.
@ShadetheDruid: My aforementioned married gamer friends are split on Portal 2. He hasn’t played it, and she has, but I’m not sure she’s finished it. So I have to refrain from combustible lemon jokes in their presence, because then I’d have to explain it and that would kill the whole thing 🙁
I just dug out Skyrim again after setting it aside for awhile! Rolled an Orc woman this time to play a straight up warrior character. I usually go Nord, so it should be quite different this time around — those Nords aren’t so friendly to other races, I’ve noticed. Jenassa and I are gonna kick some major booty.
And average-height, average-weight, young white male gamers got called…hmmm…
cloudiah: There was a few of us involved in that conversation I think. 😛 But I do remember mentioning: http://www.gog.com/
Thanks — you’re my favorite druid!
I’d like to think it’s because YAY I DON’T HAVE TO PLAY A GUY. – Falconer
That’s actually really close to why I play non-male (and often non-human characters), I find it easier to separate myself from the character. I’m not one to want to play myself in a game; I want to play something completely different.
Though normally I don’t even consciously do it, i’ve just done it for so long now that I just default to clicking “female” without thinking (at least in games where the background of the character isn’t a priority, like Skyrim, MMOs and such, D&D is different since a lot of thought goes into characters there).
My first character in Skyrim was a stealthy Elf archer, sniping people from ridiculously distances before they knew what was going on. Also, giggling at the mess up stealth system where, with maxed stealth skill, you could literally hide 1 inch in front of someone and they’d not notice. At least until they had an arrow stuck somewhere unpleasant. 😛
cloudiah: Thanks. 😀
Aw crap, I can’t remember what race my Dovakiin is. I know she’s a woman. I think she’s a dark elf?
I’d been meaning to try a straight magic-user in Elder Scrolls for a while now. My Oblivion character is a thief; in Morrowind, I think the one I got farthest with was a battlemage or something.
Anyway, I wanted to really work out with the potionmaking and the forging magic items. Gotta say it hasn’t taken off with a wizard character 🙁
I got so many vidja games in the last year. I put aside Skyrim to play Skyward Sword; I put that aside to play FF 13-2; I put that aside after a week because I was disappointed in it; I got Mass Effect 3 and I haven’t finished it because I’ve heard disappointing things about the ending.
And now I’m pre-paying on XCOM XCOM XCOM X FUCKING COM AWW YISS
Oh, and Cloudiah, the game is called Pharaoh/Cleopatra.
I bought it pursuant to that conversation and thank god you can speed it up because half the game is waiting for your minions to haul brick to the monument so you can finish the scenario and I discovered I’m more of a twitch player than that.
I definitely hacked a Legend of Zelda Rom once (Oracle of Ages, I think) so you played as a female character. Still named Link, but with longer hair and little two-pixel boobies.
😀
@ShadetheDruid: Yes, my elf thief goes for sneak attacks with her bow a lot. I’ve never maxed out a skill in that game yet, hell I haven’t even finished the plot line, but I imagine that being able to sneak in plain sight makes the x6 damage multiplier on melee sneak attacks somewhat cheap.
Oh, and in D&D 3.X I’m not saying letting the rogue sneak attack when the target is flanked isn’t a good thing to do, I’m just saying it’s hard to design encounters where the rogue is stymied from doing that, just for variety’s sake, without using the same types of monsters over and over again.
@whataboutthemoonz: 😀
Katz, midget? 5″7′ isn’t really short.
I tried starting a mage in Skyrim but kept starting my followers on fire. They are TOO MUCH IN THE WAY — I’m looking at you, LYDIA! If I played completely solo I could do it I guess, but otherwise I like to just charge in and Hulk smash everything. So I use Jenassa as my sniper while I hack and slash. Plus she doesn’t care if I’m naughty; in fact, I think she likes it. She is my favorite follower.
The other game I pulled out of the box recently was Persona 4. I never did finish that one first time around. Yup, I went back to PS2!
Gonna go splat some radroaches and hide from some super mutants.
Have a great night!
Thanks Falconer too — I just emailed the info to myself so hopefully I won’t forget this time.
I’m not ordering it now, but I am stockpiling a list of fun things I get to do only after I file my thesis. Fun books to read, vacations to take, and now some games. These are the ways I trick myself into finishing the darn thing, because I am a world class champion procrastinator!
L to the frakkin’ OL ain’t it the truth.
I got spoiled on Persona 4 (I know whodunnit — don’t worry, I ain’t sayin’) and I haven’t touched the PS2 in about a year now. Dearly Beloved would always play P4 with GameFAQs on the computer because she hated how you got one chance to get something right.
I used to try to play though a game without hints the first time, thinking I’ll go back through a second time, with the guide or a FAQ then. But I never did, so I gave up and love me GameFAQs now.
@cloudiah — good luck and congratulations on getting as far as a thesis!
Night all, for real now.
@Shade
Speaking of GOG, I’m seriously considering getting the Freespace games, are they worth it?
Why, they get called the very worst of vile, m-feminist, male-shaming, vile misandric slurs:
dude.
I have a friend who occasionally tweets about gaming. She commented on a demonstration of some new technology with something like the game doesn’t seem that good, but the development is exciting.
Some wanker replied to her tweet, calling her a “b*tch” and a “gamer girl floozy”. She laughed at the last one because seriously, who uses the word ‘floozy’ any more?
@blitzgal
Yay! I’m currently working my way through Persona 2: Innocent Sin on my PSP. And Raidou Kuzunoha vs. The Soulless Army on my PS2. When I get my PS3 I plan to get Persona 4: Arena because I have recently discovered a love of fighting games.
I didn’t bother using followers in Skyrim, half because I don’t want to get them killed and then have a sad, and half because they’d just run in all stupidly and unstealthy. Having a clumsy, noisey follower would’ve ruined one of the most epic moments i’ve ever had in a game too, when I three-hit stealth killed a dragon (one hit woke it up, one hit make it crash out of the sky, and the final one killed it). 😀
Falconer: Yeah, sneak attack can be a bit ridiculous. I lean more towards keeping the strength of it and just doing encounters as normal, but limiting its uses in a round and what weapons you can use with it, rather than having to work encounters around the overpoweredness of it.
aworld: I’ve never actually played them myself, though if they’re anything like Freelancer (which I have played), then they’re likely to be pretty fun. Plus they’re not exactly super expensive, so you’d be getting a good deal at least. 😀
Katz, midget? 5″7′ isn’t really short.
Don’t look at me, I didn’t write the quote.
Lydia! Yeah I think I ended up killing her quite a few times and had to keep reloading the game. I was playing a mage too.
Anyway, as a wow player, I just fucking report people. I report people all the time. It’s my favorite hobby. These games all technically have rules disallowing harassment, sexism, racism, etc. the problem is that they don’t care to proactively enforce them and players don’t care to report violations. So I report. It makes me smile.