Over on Patriactionary, a proudly reactionary and patriarchal Christian blog, the blogger who calls himself electricangel is angry at himself – for not being an even bigger douchebag than he already is.
You see, he’s just heard from his wife that one of her friends isn’t happy about hitting the big 4-0. Apparently, his wife’s friend
broke down in tears, sobbing uncontrollably. What had hit her was the realization that she was 40, with no husband, no children, no prospects of either, and she was staring at a future of loneliness.
His reaction to this news?
I wish I could tell you that an evil smile of vengeance crept across my face, and the children this woman discarded were getting their revenge upon her. That this was payback for riding the cock carousel for years, always aiming at the guys she wanted, not the guys she could get.
But alas, hidden deep inside in his tiny misogynistic heart there remains a tiny fragment of sympathy.
But I cannot tell you anything other than how saddened I was at her tale, and how this sadness will rip out the hearts of so many women who did not set out to become lonely, childless spinsters, but whose families and societies removed the strictures on their behavior so that their own lack of self-control was left unbounded. This will be the ongoing social disaster of coming years.
I did say it was a tiny fragment.
But he still wants to use this woman’s story for his own ends.
In discussing this woman, I am insistent upon her becoming an object lesson to my wife, and especially for my wife to tell the beautiful, smart, virgin young women close to her about what happens to carousel riders. Life is a coin you may spend any way you like, but you may only spend it once. This woman spent it on an amusement park ride. Now the park is closing, she has been thrown off the ride, and faces 45 years of solitude.
Yeah, because no woman over the age of 40 is capable of ever finding a date or a mate.
Yeah, because her sadness at hitting 40 is going to last for the rest of her life.
Oh, and the bit about “the children this woman discarded?” She didn’t “discard” any children. She simply didn’t have any. She’s not “discarding children” any more than those with penises instead of vaginas are “discarding children” each and every time they masturbate to orgasm.
In the comments, not everyone is quite so restrained as electricangel.
“I don’t even know this woman and I’m pissing myself laughing at her,” writes one commenter going by the name Friendzone. “Fuck her.”
Take The Red Pill is equally unsympathetic:
I have NO sympathy for this woman whatsoever. Just like most Modern Women, she bought into the feminist deception with eyes wide open with never a thought about the future. Well the future has arrived and it looks a lot like a cold, lonely one for her – just like the cold, lonely youth and young adulthood that MOST men have had and continue to have.
Karma has come due, and the bicycles have realized that they don’t need fish, either.
When women like her are young, they treat decent men abominably – being as cruel and sadistic as they can be when rejecting an ‘unwanted’ man’s advances – simultaneously, they enjoy being ‘free whores’ for every player, dirtbag, and Alpha thug who crosses their path; then when they reach their thirties and are little more than ugly, repellent, diseased trollops (often with some thug’s illegitimate spawn or two in tow), they complain about ‘the lack of good men’.
Others adopt Electricangel’s more, er, mature approach. Will S. decides to be a pompous dick about it, while patting himself on the back for his enlightened attitude:
Indeed, it is proper to not gloat, but rather mourn what we have lost, as a society, and feel sorry for those who have made poor decisions – and try to help others not make such poor decisions, by pointing to unfortunate examples, that at least others might learn something from them.
Sometimes, schadenfreude is tempting, but we Christians do generally know better than that.
Because patronizingly exploiting someone’s (probably temporary) sadness to make other people feel shitty about their own lives is such a moral thing to do. Is faux sympathy better than no sympathy at all?
Our friend Sunshinemary jumps on the “let this be a lesson to the rest of you sluts” bandwagon:
We need not mock such women, but we need to hold up their tales as cautionary examples to other young women. The older women themselves cannot face that their lives should serve as an example of what not to do, and they will rationalize it forever.
Electricangel expounds on his plan to use this woman’s apparent misfortune for his own ends:
I am using her as a vector to drop comments to my wife about the dangers of the carousel. Next is the overt suggestion that she talk to some young women about this friend specifically.
Uh, I guess you don’t let your wife read this blog, huh? Because if I discovered that someone close to me was talking about me in such a creepily manipulative and patronizing way, that person would no longer be a part of my life.
Electricangel replies to Sunshinemary:
Yes, those who did not prioritize children will have their genetic tendencies to that behavior removed from the gene pool. Women do not have the sexual options that men do, and not letting them know this early and often is crushing.
But they must be pointed to, and shown as examples. I understand people who will laugh at and mock them; I thought I would. It’s just the enormity of a waste of a life, and the lives she threw away, and the realization that this is just the tip of huge iceberg that has gripped me.
Yes, EA, you’re such a deeply moral person. Posting an “I told you so, you whores!” post on your blog is no doubt exactly the way The Lord would like you to handle this.
In a later comment, he reiterates his plan to use this woman’s story to increase the insecurities of his wife:
I do not feel guilty at all about using this woman’s example to drop pellets of manosphere logic on my wife. It has the side benefit of my wife starting to ask me (because she’s asking herself) “What do I do to bring value to the relatinship?” It is a good thing.
First it was a sad thing, now it’s a “good thing.”
How exactly is this better than gloating? No, scratch that. How is this different than gloating?
Cats are great.
Thirty-year-old women are ugly, dseased trollops? I bet you’re the sort who drinks Welch’s grape juice with cottage cheese and thinks he’s having a gourmet cheese-and-wine experience.
I love my boyfriend and all, but my sense of family and belonging comes from the intentional community/grouphouse I live in. This contention that nuclear families are the only viable or available support structures for anyone just baffles me. We share all the chores, last week we had a midnight dance party because the baby of the couple downstairs wouldn’t go to sleep and we wanted to help them tire her out. It could have been a frustrating event but it was fun instead, partly because having so many adults around lets us take the pressure off each other. I love it here, I wish I could sing a song about it to all these maniacs who think there’s only one right way to do it.
It IS sad to be single if you don’t want to be, and it GETS harder to find somebody to start a family with as you get older. But a) this holds for men as well as women (just because a man can biologically father children when he’s fifty, doesn’t mean that his prospects for finding a younger wife who wants kids are great), and b) WTF has sluttiness to do with anything?
I was a complete slut for years and then I married a great guy at 24 (no children though, because we don’t want children). My sister was a good and chaste girl (I’m not meaning she was repressed or anything, she’s just one of those people who don’t want to have sex unless in a serious committed relationship). She always wanted a husband and kids, but was living alone with nine cats at age at 31. And then she met a great guy who fell head-over-heels in love with her, and he also loves cats, and now they live together in a big house in the countryside with all the cats working on a baby.
But any MRA who reads this will probably think I’m just making shit up.
“Women do not have the sexual options that men do”
Uh like?
I think it shows for my sanity when I say that I got no clue what these guys talk about. I mean, they go on and on, randomly, this way or that way and then contradict themselves 3 times.
Meanwhile, in his mind:
It is not the end of the world to get older. It is only the end of the world when aliens come by our planet with a giant death star.
So sometimes when a person is down a bit about their age, they get over it and realise “at least there is no death star.”
This guy’s story is ultimately about his trying to control his wife by using any means necessary-up to and including destroying her self confidence.
@Mayara Arend — he is of course saying that as women get older, they just can’t possibly have a widening circle of men willing to have sex with them. Never mind this alleged cougar thing he’d tell you is awful–if he wouldn’t have sex with them, then they have no options. Whereas men’s options are obviously increasing, as every year there are more women in this world that he would have sex with.
It’s like logic, you see.
Even assuming electricangel’s wife’s friend is exactly as miserable as he happily fantasises her to be… is there anyone who wouldn’t choose to be her in a heartbeat, if the alternative was to be electricangel’s wife?
In discussing this woman, I am insistent upon her becoming an object lesson to my wife, and especially for my wife to tell the beautiful, smart, virgin young women close to her about what happens to carousel riders.
My god, I feel sorry for that poor woman. Based on how he describes his own behavior, I couldn’t bear this plonker’s company for five minutes, and she’s been saddled with it for the rest of her life. I hope she does take her friend as an “object lesson” and go “woo! I’m allowed to be single!” and run the hell away from him.
I feel sorry for his wife if this is true–he’s going around the house dropping pellets of manosphere logic all over, and you know this ass won’t clean up after himself.
Yeah, Mayara brought up this bit:
“Women do not have the sexual options that men do.”
Um, do think he’d be shocked to learn that women can have double and triple orgasms? Women’s bodies are amazing that way. But why should I expect him to know what a clitoris is? *chuckle/snort*
We need to get the “women do not have the sexual options that men do” guys in a room with the “women can always get laid, they’re the gatekeepers” guys, and let them fight it out.
M Dubz: Thank you!
Mayara: You see, men are attracted to looks, and women are attracted to power. You lose your looks as you age, but you only *gain* power. Therefore, the older men get, the more women want to sleep with them.
It makes sense if you ignore that all the premises are wrong!
Cliff: The second group defines “woman” as “woman who gives me a boner,” so once they sort out that sort of definition issue it’s all good.
@Ozy — “It makes sense if you ignore that all the premises are wrong!” ….that’s what the title of a book about the MRA would be, I think.
Or a book about NWO.
Thus becoming the only person in history who regrets not being an English major 🙂
(JK, of course; I bet there are lots of people whose parents pushed them the doctor/lawyer route who wish they had studied what they actually wanted. I find myself regretting studying chemistry instead of art.)
One of the things that’s particularly weird about this to me is the notion that having a bit of a freakout at arbitrarily-significant birthdays about the things you haven’t done yet is something deeply terrible and, furthermore, is specific to women and woes about relationships, rather than being something that nearly everyone experiences at some point. When my boyfriend turned 30, he was kind of upset about not having quit smoking yet. When my mother turned 40, she was kind of upset about not having gotten her PhD yet. When a dear friend turned 25, she was kind of upset about not having finished her BA yet. When another dear friend turned 35, she was kind of upset about not having bought a house yet. I’m approaching 30, and already pre-freaking-out a little bit about not having moved to Boston yet. People get sad when they realize that they’ve hit milestones without accomplishing everything they had hoped to have accomplished. That very rarely means they’ve WASTED THEIR LIFE. It mostly means, “Well, I guess if I still want to accomplish that, I’ll be doing it a bit later than I’d planned. Phooey.”
(Incidentally, my boyfriend has been cigarette-free for about a month, my mother decided she didn’t actually care that much about the PhD, my first friend is making good progress on her BA, my second one just bought a condo and loves it, and I might make it to Boston before my 30th birthday yet. Sometimes life works out the way you planned. Sometimes it doesn’t. Sometimes it works out better. Finding out that the vision you had for your life isn’t the way it actually turned out isn’t called wasting your life – it’s called living.)
No, NWO’s book title would be “it doesn’t make sense even if you ignore that all the premises are wrong.”
How is this any different from how I can visit any fora on the internet with lost of women and reading that a man that is a virgin at 25 has to be defective somehow and that there has to be a fault in his personality that makes it so?
How is this any different from how I can visit any feminist forum on the internet and read that you (as a man) get exactely the sexual attention you deserve, and if you get none, that is because you deserve to get none?
@Polliwog, sounds like a lot of happy turnings-out. (i would say “happy endings” but i would have to snicker then.) Also, i hope you get to Boston.
I was so torn up and depressed and emo about moving away from the boy who i thought was the ZOMG LURV OF MAH LIFE when i was SEVENTEEN for god’s sake. We were besties through high school and then drifted apart and i thought i’d love my one. chance. at LOVE. But hey we got back together again at 24 and we’ve been together since. So yeah, it can still work out, no matter how much bad poetry you write.*
*thank god this was before blogs got big.
@Wondering, you said “I can visit any feminist forum on the internet and read that you (as a man) get exactely the sexual attention you deserve, and if you get none, that is because you deserve to get none” and i SERIOUSLY DOUBT YOUR VERACITY because i don’t think any legit feminist forums talk about anyone “deserving” sexual attention.
Care to clarify what you’re “wondering” about?
As a feminist who runs a moderately popular feminist blog, I would like to say that I have known men who were virgins at 25 who are also some of the kindest, most interesting, and most attractive people I know.
Also, that there is no meaningful sense in which one can “deserve” sexual attention, any more than there’s a meaningful sense in which one can “deserve” friendship. There are many reasons why someone might not get much sexual attention. Sometimes it’s because they’re a creeper, true, but sometimes it’s because they’re introverted, or don’t have much time to look for someone to date, or just have a lot of bad luck, or a lot of reasons that don’t mean they’re a bad person.
OMG IT’S ALMOST AS IF THAT’S A STRAWMAN YOU’VE ERECTED TO IMPROVE YOUR SELF-PITY
I didn’t understand Wondering’s first “sentence” either…otherwise I only picked up some whining and straw. Did we shame virgins? Nope. But if someone thinks the universe owes them sexual partners because they have been living a martyr-like existence as a virgin (which isn’t the worst thing in the world), well, pfffffft.
But that whole, “It’s mean that a man be told he only gets the sexual attention he deserves,” whine. Errr, if you reverse the genders, you basically get every women’s magazine on the market. Ever look at a Cosmo? Women hear this message non-stop: “If men aren’t coming around, it’s your fault for being too fat, too agressive, too smart, not pretty enough.” It’s not right, is it?
Wondering, why don’t you link to these egregious examples of feminist thought you claim are out there?
I think I’m Cosmo’s ideal straw-lady….. heheh 😀