Over on Patriactionary, a proudly reactionary and patriarchal Christian blog, the blogger who calls himself electricangel is angry at himself – for not being an even bigger douchebag than he already is.
You see, he’s just heard from his wife that one of her friends isn’t happy about hitting the big 4-0. Apparently, his wife’s friend
broke down in tears, sobbing uncontrollably. What had hit her was the realization that she was 40, with no husband, no children, no prospects of either, and she was staring at a future of loneliness.
His reaction to this news?
I wish I could tell you that an evil smile of vengeance crept across my face, and the children this woman discarded were getting their revenge upon her. That this was payback for riding the cock carousel for years, always aiming at the guys she wanted, not the guys she could get.
But alas, hidden deep inside in his tiny misogynistic heart there remains a tiny fragment of sympathy.
But I cannot tell you anything other than how saddened I was at her tale, and how this sadness will rip out the hearts of so many women who did not set out to become lonely, childless spinsters, but whose families and societies removed the strictures on their behavior so that their own lack of self-control was left unbounded. This will be the ongoing social disaster of coming years.
I did say it was a tiny fragment.
But he still wants to use this woman’s story for his own ends.
In discussing this woman, I am insistent upon her becoming an object lesson to my wife, and especially for my wife to tell the beautiful, smart, virgin young women close to her about what happens to carousel riders. Life is a coin you may spend any way you like, but you may only spend it once. This woman spent it on an amusement park ride. Now the park is closing, she has been thrown off the ride, and faces 45 years of solitude.
Yeah, because no woman over the age of 40 is capable of ever finding a date or a mate.
Yeah, because her sadness at hitting 40 is going to last for the rest of her life.
Oh, and the bit about “the children this woman discarded?” She didn’t “discard” any children. She simply didn’t have any. She’s not “discarding children” any more than those with penises instead of vaginas are “discarding children” each and every time they masturbate to orgasm.
In the comments, not everyone is quite so restrained as electricangel.
“I don’t even know this woman and I’m pissing myself laughing at her,” writes one commenter going by the name Friendzone. “Fuck her.”
Take The Red Pill is equally unsympathetic:
I have NO sympathy for this woman whatsoever. Just like most Modern Women, she bought into the feminist deception with eyes wide open with never a thought about the future. Well the future has arrived and it looks a lot like a cold, lonely one for her – just like the cold, lonely youth and young adulthood that MOST men have had and continue to have.
Karma has come due, and the bicycles have realized that they don’t need fish, either.
When women like her are young, they treat decent men abominably – being as cruel and sadistic as they can be when rejecting an ‘unwanted’ man’s advances – simultaneously, they enjoy being ‘free whores’ for every player, dirtbag, and Alpha thug who crosses their path; then when they reach their thirties and are little more than ugly, repellent, diseased trollops (often with some thug’s illegitimate spawn or two in tow), they complain about ‘the lack of good men’.
Others adopt Electricangel’s more, er, mature approach. Will S. decides to be a pompous dick about it, while patting himself on the back for his enlightened attitude:
Indeed, it is proper to not gloat, but rather mourn what we have lost, as a society, and feel sorry for those who have made poor decisions – and try to help others not make such poor decisions, by pointing to unfortunate examples, that at least others might learn something from them.
Sometimes, schadenfreude is tempting, but we Christians do generally know better than that.
Because patronizingly exploiting someone’s (probably temporary) sadness to make other people feel shitty about their own lives is such a moral thing to do. Is faux sympathy better than no sympathy at all?
Our friend Sunshinemary jumps on the “let this be a lesson to the rest of you sluts” bandwagon:
We need not mock such women, but we need to hold up their tales as cautionary examples to other young women. The older women themselves cannot face that their lives should serve as an example of what not to do, and they will rationalize it forever.
Electricangel expounds on his plan to use this woman’s apparent misfortune for his own ends:
I am using her as a vector to drop comments to my wife about the dangers of the carousel. Next is the overt suggestion that she talk to some young women about this friend specifically.
Uh, I guess you don’t let your wife read this blog, huh? Because if I discovered that someone close to me was talking about me in such a creepily manipulative and patronizing way, that person would no longer be a part of my life.
Electricangel replies to Sunshinemary:
Yes, those who did not prioritize children will have their genetic tendencies to that behavior removed from the gene pool. Women do not have the sexual options that men do, and not letting them know this early and often is crushing.
But they must be pointed to, and shown as examples. I understand people who will laugh at and mock them; I thought I would. It’s just the enormity of a waste of a life, and the lives she threw away, and the realization that this is just the tip of huge iceberg that has gripped me.
Yes, EA, you’re such a deeply moral person. Posting an “I told you so, you whores!” post on your blog is no doubt exactly the way The Lord would like you to handle this.
In a later comment, he reiterates his plan to use this woman’s story to increase the insecurities of his wife:
I do not feel guilty at all about using this woman’s example to drop pellets of manosphere logic on my wife. It has the side benefit of my wife starting to ask me (because she’s asking herself) “What do I do to bring value to the relatinship?” It is a good thing.
First it was a sad thing, now it’s a “good thing.”
How exactly is this better than gloating? No, scratch that. How is this different than gloating?
@snowy
I have already explained why your reading of my post is wrong. There is no causal claim in the quoted post, ie I never said that consuming porn would somehow help you fight exploitation in porn. You keep asserting this claim without providing a reason as to why you think this. I am not backpedaling. You have simply failed to understand what I am saying.
This is your point yes?:
Sure you could use something and be against it but it makes you a hypocrite and does not really strengthen your cause.
@jumbo
My claim is NOT a moral claim. It is a psychological claim. Perhaps this is the problem you have in understanding my post? I am in no way saying it is GOOD for people to consume porn if they think it is exploitative. I am simply saying it is psychologically POSSIBLE for someone to consume porn while fighting exploitative porn practices. This claim relates to what I was originally responding to, ie the claim that anyone who views porn must not care about porn exploitation.
If so then I am not sure what I am misunderstanding unless you think its okay to be hypocritical in what you believe in.
Jesus, Bravo Cassandra.
*Sigh* Gotta sign off, too sleepy. Good night everyone.
Ok Jarrod, let me add more context by quoting your entire comment.
How am I failing to understand, exactly? Your argument about all these other things (food, machinery, etc) is that even though they might have been produced using slave labor or exploitation they can be consumed and at the same time used to fight the conditions they were made under. Porn is clearly very different, and yet you say it’s the same. If this is not what you meant and you simply misspoke that’s fine, but don’t pretend like someone failing to read your mind is the problem here.
I’m not an MRA, but I’m definitely anti-feminist. I just have an honest question for the feminists here, or David if he’s reading this.
Assuming that this women spent her youth sleeping around, wouldn’t she have been better off using her 20s to find a good, strong but stable man to settle down with?
Sure, the guy on the blog is making insensitive comments, but doesn’t that sidestep the problem that this woman, and according to places like Jezebel and so on many other women, face in their 30s and 40s?
Would you guys admit that women (and men) are better off not just having massive amounts of casual sex, living narcissistically (that is, for their enjoyment and exploration of themselves exclusively) and settling down and living for and with another person?
Just curious, because this seems to me to be one of the greatest problems caused by the “free love” and “sex positive” movements: they sound great on the surface, until people realize that their hedonistic lifestyle left them completely unable to cope with living with another person and they’re sad and alone.
Sad and alone is the necessary end result of narcissistic self-indulgence anyway. Obviously I’m not mocking this women, it really is sad that she’s going through this. So why not encourage men and women to stop setting themselves up for failure?
@Jumbo
I am not sure what your misunderstanding is anymore, because I am not sure what exactly you think my post is saying anymore! What you keep doing here is putting moral language like “okay to do” or “that would be a shitty thing to do”, which my post is not concerned with. My original post was simply supposed to point out that a person can watch porn and be against exploitative porn at the same time. Whether or not this is hypocritical is beyond the scope of the claim.
@snowy
There is no causal claim in the labour case either. Nowhere did I saying ANYTHING like “BECAUSE a person has access to a computer, they will be better able to fight slave labour practices”, this is just you reading far too much into the content of my claim. I think it is pretty clear in my post that what you use the computer for has nothing to do with being able to fight poor labour practices.
Well I still have a hard time seeing that as your intention since the person you quoted was not really talking about if it was possible to be a hypocrite in what you do and say. Most people already know you can do one thing and yet be against it so there is no need for you to bring it up.
Its obvious by “not caring” they are referring to they know about the issue yet choose to ignore it to watch porn. They are not saying its impossible for someone to watch exploitative porn yet still claim they are against it.
Jarrod, if you consume a product that you are ideologically against (chick-fil-a and being anti-homophobia for example) you are a hypocrite. But keep fucking that chicken, dude. If you don’t get it I don’t think anything anyone says here will convince you.
Isn’t there un-exploitative porn out there? (cloudiah asks because she actually doesn’t know that much about the state of online porn)
One of the difficult things in dating is you are meant to spend a lot of time with the person so you actually have to like them. When I hear people say why won’t she just date X I wonder if they forget that.
I don’t feel that sorry for the person mentioned in the original post. I mean it is crappy that she is being used as a moral lesson to encourage women to marry people they don’t enjoy spending time with, however it is unlikely her life doesn’t have positive aspects. She could have instead married someone wrong for her, and that would have been bad. Hopefully she will realise her life isn’t ending and hopefully things aren’t bad for her.
As someone who prefers not having sex, and considers sex a disadvantage of any relationship it is hard for me to empathise with someone for still having virginity because I’d associate it with having successfully avoided sex. However, I understand people can interpret it as an attack on their self worth. Both men and women need to
challenge the concept that their value is derived from sexual relationships.
I find the idea that all guys just manipulate women for sex, and some are better than others scary. I hope it isn’t true, but since it is a theory proposed by men it seems hard to reject someone’s assessment of themselves. It is distressing to think of myself as a hole in which to stick a penis, and time spent with me as payment for sticking the penis in that hole. I think most women feel the same way.
When my friends are upset about being single I try to comfort them. I think that is the decent thing to do. I however see no need to comfort an internet troll who gets upset because he can’t find a hole to stick his penis in, and that angers him because holes sometimes feel emotion.
If you are benefiting from exploitation porn then by definition its impossible to also fight it. You are bringing morality into this by saying people can still be against exploitation porn whilst using it aka SUPPORTING IT.
You cannot fight exploitation if you are gaining from it period, even if you try to word it “objectively” it still follows the assumption this is possible when its not.
@jumbofish
Of course she wasn’t saying that “its impossible for someone to watch exploitative porn yet still claim they are against it”. What she was saying is that if someone watches ANY porn then they either must 1)ignore that some porn is exploitative or 2) not care that some porn is exploitative. My post, I think, clearly shows that to be untrue.
@snowy
I agree with the claim that you are hypocritical if you consume something you are fighting against. Fortunately, I haven’t claimed otherwise! Your continued insults and general inability to understand my posts is getting boring. I am going to ignore you now.
@JUMBO
1) “If you are benefiting from exploitation porn then by definition its impossible to also fight it” Clearly not true–see the racist society example
2)”You are bringing morality into this by saying people can still be against exploitation porn whilst using it aka SUPPORTING IT.” No. my claim is psychological and descriptive. It is neither a condemnation or acceptance of those people. I am just saying those people could exist (contra the op)
I’m sorry, I’m still reeling from the discovery that MRAL is being bullied by a bunch of Bay Area indie cartoonists.
You chose to spend your 20s and 30s with the people who made my life a living hell.
It’s Jason Shiga, isn’t it? That guy is trouble.
Fine by me hun.
Aww blockquotes why you fail me?
Did you miss the fact that race is not something you choose but watching exploitative porn is??
You can watch exploitative porn yet claim you are against in when in reality you are not. Your “descriptive” words claim in reality you can do both.
@Jarrod, You’re new here, right? If you come in and say problematic things without building any kind of relationships in a troll-heavy forum, well you’re pretty much asking to be identified as a troll. If you’re not a troll, apologize and move on.
I would just like to point out that the original post I was responding to claimed that it was impossible to separate exploitative and non-exploitative porn, and by that fact, all porn should be treated as exploitative. It is not the case that I think you could watch porn that is KNOWN to be exploitative and still be against exploitative porn. I think it is the case that you could watch porn and be against exploitative porn.
Your claim was “You cannot fight exploitation if you are gaining from it period”. I reiterate that this is clearly shown to be wrong by the racist society example.
I don’t like hetero porn because the female actors seem to be faking, or in pain. I see pictures on the internet (random ads for porn sites, etc) where a woman is giving a man oral with a very agonized expression, as though the man is choking her with her penis and she is suffering. Then SOME men think this is sexy and try to replicate it with a partner, and then call her a prude when she objects because it hurts her. Or some inexperienced men think this is the only way to have oral sex. I like to watch gay porn because both partners are taking pleasure in the act and both orgasm. And with men you can tell they aren’t faking it. Just my two cents. Sorry if its TMI.
Typo- should be choking her with HIS penis LOL
@cloudiah
I am not new here. And I said nothing problematic; I was profoundly misread. I will not apologize for arguing against the anti-porn feminist in my original post. But I will go to sleep now, because I am tired.