Yesterday, we took a look at Ferdinand Bardamu’s manosphere manifesto “The Necessity of Domestic Violence,” a thoroughly despicable piece of writing that concludes:
Women should be terrorized by their men; it’s the only thing that makes them behave better than chimps.
I decided to take a look at Bardamu’s post yesterday after running across a discussion of it in Reddit’s new FeMRA subreddit, a forum ostensibly devoted to what “women can do to advance men’s rights as women.” It’s a strange little subreddit, started by a man and dominated by some of Reddit’s most unsavory MaleMRAs, some of them banned in the regular Men’s Rights subreddit.
Recently one of the most unsavory of the bunch, calling himself JeremiahGuy this time, posted a link to Bardamu’s domestic violence manifesto, which he hosts on his website. Jeremiah naturally used the discussion as an excuse to post more apologias for domestic “discipline” along the lines of the quote from him I featured yesterday.
But I was a little surprised to see GirlWritesWhat, the blabby FeMRA video blogger who’s captured the hearts of Reddit’s Men’s Rights crowd, step into the conversation with something of a defense of Bardamu’s noxious views. After reading Bardamu’s manifesto – the one advocating that men “terrorize” their women to make them behave – GWW blithely concluded:
I don’t really find too much in the article that strikes me as seriously ethically questionable.
Have I taken that remark out of context? Yes. In context, it’s worse. Here’s the entire quote from her, and a further clarification of her position.
She wasn’t the only one in the discussion to get upvotes for suggesting that men slapping women around from time to time isn’t really such a big deal. MaunaLoona (a MaleMRA) wrote:
Lots of MRAs like to pretend that they care about male victims of domestic violence. But the Men’s Rights movement hasn’t done shit for them. And here, I think, is why: too many MRAs are less interested in helping male victims of domestic violence than they are in providing excuses and justifications for male abusers.
Okay, what GWW wrote is that she hears her neighbors fighting, hears sounds of stomping feet, slamming doors, and thrown objects, and then she hears the man hit the woman.
Assuming this is true, it would take an amazing feat of grabbing-at-straws derailing wishful-thinking to assume that this is anything other than DV.
This isn’t some 40s melodrama where you can just “snap someone out of it.”
This was never used in the context of domestic violence but where the woman was hysterical for some other reason or in shock not as some sort of punishment. Not much different than a doctor smacking a patient who od’d to try to wake them up.
@Lawgirl:
“Now, is that real DV or just some sort of a way they interact with each other.”
The way they interact with each other has domestic violence as a cornerstone of the dysfunction. They have a kid amid that madness too. I feel bad for that kid 🙁
Doctors don’t actually smack patients. Not really in a lot of ER protocols these days.
I know, darn, there goes yet another men’s right!
Amused, I’m so sorry. Hugs if you want them.
I think that the problem on here is that many are from homes where there was some real domestic violence and it’s impossible for them to distinguish between the trivial from the severe. Perhaps you may have had an alcoholic mother who would beat your father when he didn’t do the dishes. Itmay be a good idea for those of you from these sorts of backgrounds to just read what more normal mainstream people write and refrain from commenting.
Falconer: When I was 12, we left Russia, and my father stopped because he had heard that in the West, a parent can go to jail for that kind of thing.
Lawgirl:
Doctor don’t smack patients — not to wake them up, not for any other reason. I guess you studied medicine in the same place where you studied law?
It may be a good idea for you to just go fuck the right the fuck off. There is no acceptable level of domestic violence whether your personally regard it as “trivial” or “severe.”
Well this got completely fucked up fast.
It may be a good idea for condescending assholes pushing some sort of bizarro “I can always hallucinate a situation where everything’s okay and/or all the woman’s fault!” to SHUT THEIR FUCKING MOUTHS.
Seriously, you’re telling survivors of abuse to shut up because they’re not “normal mainstream people” and thus might give the false impression that abuse is a bad thing?
FUCK YOU, ASSHOLE.
Lawgirl: You consider yourself a normal person? Srsly?
@Amused
Is it bad that I want to give your father a stern talking to if I ever meet him? Also, hugs if you want them, people really should never have to go through that. Especially from someone as supposedly close as a parent.
@Lawgirl
WTF? Seriously. WTF?
You should go over to the Spearhead. I hear they have some openings for the position of “Shield maiden.” You would probably fit in better over there.
Uhh hitting people is never okay or how people normally interact just the fact you think that disgusts me. Besides there is not way you could know any of that stuff you listed even if what she said is true. This is assumptions about assumptions and the fact that you assume right away the woman was responsible for her beatings speaks for itself you abuse excuser.
You are so full of shit, “hysteria” does not exist and is a historical thing used to oppress women. Even if someone is emotional its never okay to hit them period, nor will it help “snap them out of it”. You know what that is? Abuser logic. You are making up reasons why women should be beat.
Lawgirl, you have rapidly moved from “Dubious” to “Pretty Much A Shithead” and may want to refrain from commenting here.
In my first aid classes 20+ years ago, we were specifically told that the movie cliche of slapping a hysterical person would result in the rescuer having the tar kicked out of them by the adrenaline-pumped victim.
Calling it a “treatment” is no more appropriate than calling corporal punishment “correction”. They’re both faulty excuses for the use of violence.
Go to hell you gaslighting piece of shit.
Itmay be a good idea for those of you from these sorts of backgrounds to just read what more normal mainstream people write and refrain from commenting.
FUCK OFF with your abuse apologia and “real” DV. FUCK YOU.
She’s Ruby 2.
$20 on the next step being “You sound so ANGRY. I used nice polite quiet words to tell abuse survivors they weren’t allowed to speak about abuse! And then you got all MEAN.”
I take back what I said earlier about lawgirl being dipshit troll adjacent. She’s definitely full-frontal dipshit troll.
Thanks for all the sympathy, you guys. Luckily for me, it turned out about as well as it could.
Also @Lawgirl
Please kindly return to the barren pro-DV wasteland from whence you came. Seriously, your posts should come with an automatic trigger warning.
@amused- you have no idea what you’re talking about. After administering an antagonist (assuming there is one for the type of drug the patient od’d on) we rouse the patient using all sorts of methods and smacking, pinching. and even pushing needles under their nails are among them.
Oh, she’s a lawyer AND a doctor! Is this Pell?
@Lawgirl
Seriously though, fuck off back to your bizarro world wonderland where hitting each other is somehow ok.