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GirlWritesWhat on “The Necessity of Domestic Violence”: “I don’t really find too much [that’s] seriously ethically questionable.”

Yesterday, we took a look at Ferdinand Bardamu’s manosphere manifesto “The Necessity of Domestic Violence,” a thoroughly despicable piece of writing that concludes:

Women should be terrorized by their men; it’s the only thing that makes them behave better than chimps.

I decided to take a look at Bardamu’s post yesterday after running across a discussion of it in Reddit’s new FeMRA subreddit, a forum ostensibly devoted to what “women can do to advance men’s rights as women.” It’s a strange little subreddit, started by a man and dominated by some of Reddit’s most unsavory MaleMRAs, some of them banned in the regular Men’s Rights subreddit.

Recently one of the most unsavory of the bunch, calling himself JeremiahGuy this time, posted a link to Bardamu’s domestic violence manifesto, which he hosts on his website. Jeremiah naturally used the discussion as an excuse to post more apologias for domestic “discipline” along the lines of the quote from him I featured yesterday.

But I was a little surprised to see GirlWritesWhat, the blabby FeMRA video blogger who’s captured the hearts of Reddit’s Men’s Rights crowd, step into the conversation with something of a defense of Bardamu’s noxious views. After reading Bardamu’s manifesto – the one advocating that men “terrorize” their women to make them behave – GWW blithely concluded:

I don’t really find too much in the article that strikes me as seriously ethically questionable.

Have I taken that remark out of context? Yes. In context, it’s worse. Here’s the entire quote from her, and a further clarification of her position.

She wasn’t the only one in the discussion to get upvotes for suggesting that men slapping women around from time to time isn’t really such a big deal. MaunaLoona (a MaleMRA) wrote:

Lots of MRAs like to pretend that they care about male victims of domestic violence. But the Men’s Rights movement hasn’t done shit for them. And here, I think, is why: too many MRAs are less interested in helping male victims of domestic violence than they are in providing excuses and justifications for male abusers.

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pillowinhell
pillowinhell
12 years ago

Naw, the point of Andres friend was to show us how his one female friend who experienced domestic violence is representative of all people who experience domestic violence. Know his friend and you know everything there is to know about the victims.

hellkell
hellkell
12 years ago

I’m not buying the friend story at all.

pillowinhell
pillowinhell
12 years ago

Hellkell, you’ve just transcended the mortal experience. Welcome to the halls of Olympia.

CassandraSays
12 years ago

I’m finding the claims of knowledge/authority combined with the idea that you can’t tell by looking at a relationship who the abuser is unless you really get to know the people particularly funny (in a grim way).

So, say you have a relationship in which one partner is emotionally abusive and the other is physically abusive. That’s not usually how it works, a nice neat split like that, but let’s pretend. Say you first notice the physical abuse because you can see bruises etc, and you might not notice the emotional abuse until you dig a bit deeper. Guess what? The fact that there’s emotional abuse going on from the other side too doesn’t make the partner who’s doing the hitting not an abuser.

It takes a particular kind of moral idiocy and childishness to believe that if someone is saying cruel things to you that totally justifies beating the shit out of them, and makes the beating somehow not abusive.

hellkell
hellkell
12 years ago

Pillowinhell, does this mean I’m a daemonic goddess now? Fuck yeah if so!

Andre
Andre
12 years ago

@CassandraSays. How many abusive relationships have you been in? Who are all these people you are discussing in a manner which is lacking in childishness and moral idiocy? On what basis do you know how it works or how things are split, which leads you to have no need to pretend? I think you are a fucking idiot. I think you are a child who doesn’t understand morality, but is pretending that she does. I think you are a caricature called ‘CassandraSays.’ A caricature cannot be a moral being. That’s not how it works except in dressing up games played by children pretending to be grown-ups.

timetravellingfool
12 years ago

You know what, I am buying andre`s friend`s story. I bet you he did hear that from a friend. Perhaps some of the details got skewed in the retelling, but that’s not the interesting bit- the interesting bit is just putting the gender reversal out there. Just plopping it in mid conversation, sans social context, statistics, legal recourse, peer reactions, just as is. And then letting people draw their own conclusions. And rather than presenting a premise for people to refute (women abuse as much as men, this abuse is justified, so men’s abuse of women is justified, blah blah), dude just drops by and presents this story with bo analysis whatsoever- certainly nothing he’d have to defend- and hopes people will draw the conclusion he wants them to.

Ugh
Ugh
12 years ago

Andre, actually, what is your point? I got lost about 300 words of disconnected arglebargel ago.

Ugh
Ugh
12 years ago

In related news, I’m kind of glad to actually be here to see a Pelltdown in action.

timetravellingfool
12 years ago

Oh, there was more? I kind of skipped up a post or two and went from there.

pecunium
pecunium
12 years ago

Andre: @CassandraSays. How many abusive relationships have you been in.

You first. If one has to have personal, intimate experience to know this shit, you have to pony up your credentials.

But then again, the odds of your being Professor Pell, Esq. MD, Ph.D, Therapist, and Nephew of Montgomery Clift just shot way up, with the “childish”.

So enjoy being this caricature, and recall that you said you can’t be a moral being.

p.s. I’m still waiting for YOUR explanation of why you told that story.

timetravellingfool
12 years ago

ooh, pecunium, can you plug your blog again? It was good reading but I lost the link.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Attention, attention! Synchronise watches for the Pell meltdown in 10 … 9 …

pecunium
pecunium
12 years ago

http://pecunium.wordpress.com/ It’s also tied to my nom-de-gravatar.

pecunium
pecunium
12 years ago

I like the neologism, Pelltdown.

Makes me think of the Piltdown man… which (being a complete fabrication) seems fitting.

Andre
Andre
12 years ago

@timetravellingfool. There’s a lot of sense in what you say. I can’t account for everyone else’s contribution, but I think you’re mostly right in your interpretation. As for mine, I didn’t quite just plop the story in the conversation, although I did tell it sans context, just as is. I plopped it in in reply to another post – in a conversation in which I was participating. I had no hopes or expectations of anyone. I’m not a god and can’t predict or precipitate people’s responses. Would you make me responsible for what others write? I do not have your powers in understanding motives and intentions. I simply say what I want to say. What arises from that is beyond my control. This is how the world mostly works.

hellkell
hellkell
12 years ago

You weren’t participating in shit, you necro’d an old thread with your brain droppings.

Andre
Andre
12 years ago

I don’t understand the in-joke about pell. I don’t want to understand it. I’m not interested in in-jokes. They are for playground cliques. I’m pleased not to know.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

::sound of world’s smallest violin::

Oh noes, nobody is being nice to the troll!

Falconer
12 years ago

Folks, we’ve reached “I have no idea who this person is you’re accusing me of being. I was in Borneo all evening!”

I believe the evidence is now convincing.

pillowinhell
pillowinhell
12 years ago

Why yes Pell, I am rather child like. Its one of my more endearing qualities. Now please, keep trying that scattershot of insults. I don’t think anyone here is feeling burned.

Hellkell, you are now a Daemonic goddess. But really, I think we need to talk about redecorating Olympia.

timetravellingfool
12 years ago

Look, andre, you are commenting on an extremely feminist site mocking the mrm- you could not possibly fathom the troll traffic here. Just take it slow, comment as best you can, and, most importantly, don’t be shy! We love having you here! Just enjoy your time commenting and share your opinions freely- nothing like heated discussion to get the synapses firing!

Andre
Andre
12 years ago

@timetravellingfool. You are evidently not entirely foolish. You had no need to ‘buy’ the story I told because I wasn’t selling it. If you mean you believe that it is true than you are right. It is a true story. As for what others have written, you can decide for yourself what is make-believe and what is not.

timetravellingfool
12 years ago

I can indeed- let’s take the story as gospel truth, then- what does it imply?

pillowinhell
pillowinhell
12 years ago

Hey TimeTraveller!

HE LIKES YOU!

Aren’t you so pleased! You got a pat on the head! I’m so jelly.

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