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GirlWritesWhat on “The Necessity of Domestic Violence”: “I don’t really find too much [that’s] seriously ethically questionable.”

Yesterday, we took a look at Ferdinand Bardamu’s manosphere manifesto “The Necessity of Domestic Violence,” a thoroughly despicable piece of writing that concludes:

Women should be terrorized by their men; it’s the only thing that makes them behave better than chimps.

I decided to take a look at Bardamu’s post yesterday after running across a discussion of it in Reddit’s new FeMRA subreddit, a forum ostensibly devoted to what “women can do to advance men’s rights as women.” It’s a strange little subreddit, started by a man and dominated by some of Reddit’s most unsavory MaleMRAs, some of them banned in the regular Men’s Rights subreddit.

Recently one of the most unsavory of the bunch, calling himself JeremiahGuy this time, posted a link to Bardamu’s domestic violence manifesto, which he hosts on his website. Jeremiah naturally used the discussion as an excuse to post more apologias for domestic “discipline” along the lines of the quote from him I featured yesterday.

But I was a little surprised to see GirlWritesWhat, the blabby FeMRA video blogger who’s captured the hearts of Reddit’s Men’s Rights crowd, step into the conversation with something of a defense of Bardamu’s noxious views. After reading Bardamu’s manifesto – the one advocating that men “terrorize” their women to make them behave – GWW blithely concluded:

I don’t really find too much in the article that strikes me as seriously ethically questionable.

Have I taken that remark out of context? Yes. In context, it’s worse. Here’s the entire quote from her, and a further clarification of her position.

She wasn’t the only one in the discussion to get upvotes for suggesting that men slapping women around from time to time isn’t really such a big deal. MaunaLoona (a MaleMRA) wrote:

Lots of MRAs like to pretend that they care about male victims of domestic violence. But the Men’s Rights movement hasn’t done shit for them. And here, I think, is why: too many MRAs are less interested in helping male victims of domestic violence than they are in providing excuses and justifications for male abusers.

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Shadow
Shadow
12 years ago

@Molly moon

Oh, he’s a fucking idiot no doubt. I mean, even if he’d said it’s abuse its obvious that he’s just attempting to misrepresent the point, instead of acknowledging the context in which it can be abusive. Then again, we’re talking about MRAs. They think that their dick not being currently wet is an act of violence by whichever women they happen to fancy atm.

RubyHypatia
RubyHypatia
12 years ago

GirlWritesWhat is an embarrassment to women.

pillowinhell
12 years ago

If you have a vagina between your legs Cliff, then no. The vagina dictates that its bearer must be the punching bag in the relationship.

Sorry.

riemannika
riemannika
12 years ago

What is the underlying dynamic here? It is control. Maybe freedom from control is what women are seeking, even more than the elusive “equality” we always talk about. The MRAs talk about nothing else. GWW simply agrees that men should retain their traditional control of women, which at bottom has always been based on sheer physical violence. Bardemu says the same. The point here seems to be that since men have been deprived of some legal and societal control of “their” women, and can no longer use emotional abuse (because women can now walk out and still have or see their kids and still find ways to eat), they are being forced to return to these crude methods of physical abuse. The feminists have caused the whole sorry mess of men having to beat up women. The non-negotiable difference between MRAs and feminists may be this simple: under no circumstances, no matter how brutal they have to be, will men give up their control of women – and the feminists answer, that’s exactly what you’re going to have to do.

clairedammit
clairedammit
12 years ago

Cliff, it’s impossible for your boyfriend to be wrong. He’s a man.

JLO@WVoN (@JLOsm)
12 years ago

WTF? This is why I stay away from MRA sites – I literally cannot bear to think that there are men out there who regard women in this way. It is frightening.

darksidecat
12 years ago

Ew, abusers talking about how they enjoyed raping their victims after beating them, and, of course, the abuser’s lobby takes that as a sign that women love being beaten and raped.

nwoslave
12 years ago

@ithiliana
“, and I need my head for a working lunch.”

Shouldn’t that be something along the lines of… ” ,and I need my wits for working while eating lunch.”

I mean, if you’re going play grammar nazi. Your head is non-detachable and lunches don’t work. Everyone understood what was said in the above post as well as we understood what you said. You didn’t prove you’re intelligent in the least. You’re arrogant. That’s what you proved. Now hold your head in place to keep it from falling off and watch your lunch work.

This is why women are ridiculed.

whataboutthemoonz
12 years ago

Cliff, it’s impossible for your boyfriend to be wrong. He’s a man.

-clairedammit

Men are always wrong! Women are always right!

-NWOslave

Fruitikay
12 years ago

My mom would always tell me that she deserved to be beat up by her boyfriend because she was yelling at him and screaming at him. She would say that it was good that he would slap the shit out of her because she was acting and behaving badly. It has taken years for me to convince her that no matter how much she “misbehaved” or yelled at him, there is no logical reason why beating a person or hitting them is okay. Let’s say that maybe she was being verbally abusive, that doesn’t mean you abuse her back with physical force. Just break up with her and leave, isn’t that a part of your so-called “men’s rights?” Basically girlwriteswhat is saying that physical abuse is alright in order to keep a woman in line. Sounds extremely familiar.

hellkell
hellkell
12 years ago

Ruby, I don’t think you should be throwing that particular stone.

hellkell
hellkell
12 years ago

NWO, please learn the nuances of the English language before you go off half-cocked as usual. It’s cute when you try to throw it back to us, but do you ever tire of being so wrong so often?

Tulgey Logger
Tulgey Logger
12 years ago

Owlyslave does not understand grammar in the least. Owly does not understand much of anything at all. This is why men are ridiculed.

ShadetheDruid
ShadetheDruid
12 years ago

Anyone have the number for Scientist HQ? They should probably know that they need to move black holes and neutron stars down a bit, on the list of the most dense things in the universe, to make room for Owly.

Tulgey Logger
Tulgey Logger
12 years ago

Also, where does that Chomsky guy get off with his whole “Colorless green ideas sleep furiously” bullshit? Everybody knows that green is a color, that ideas don’t have color, that ideas cannot sleep, and that sleeping furiously is an oxymoron. The whole sentence is completely ungrammatical! This is why men are ridiculed.

Reynardine
Reynardine
12 years ago

Abuse, like cocaine, requires higher and higher doses to give the same thrill. That’s why “corrective” slaps and the like don’t stay that way. It takes stronger and stronger doses of abusing somebody to keep giving a pipsqueak the illusion that he’s powerful. As for GirlWritesWhat and her ilk, see any number of discussiions of William Hickman, Ayn Rand, and “The Little Street” for an understanding of hybristophilia.

ShadetheDruid
ShadetheDruid
12 years ago

Also:

Funny thing is, Owly must have some self-awareness, because he never (at least, as much as I can remember) posts his “man bad, woman good” bullshit on posts criticising women.

Bostonian
Bostonian
12 years ago

Shade, he cannot see those posts. Because of feminist alien jews who are part of the Rothschilds and who control the world with super seekrit tech that only super dogs can hear.

WordSpinner
WordSpinner
12 years ago

Owly,

I know you claim that education was so much better when you were in school before it was feminized, but did your English teachers bother to teach you the difference between grammar (sentence structure) and content (what you are saying)? Or, you know, the idea of figures of speech and metaphors?

WordSpinner
WordSpinner
12 years ago

(Posted too soon). Because if they did, you obviously weren’t paying attention.

bearcatbanana
bearcatbanana
12 years ago

I wonder what MRAs would think of domestic violence that doesn’t involve intimates or people of the opposite gender. I had a roommate situation that escalated into DV. No “scorching” sex after that one.

cloudiah
12 years ago

Shorter Owly:

Women exist.

This is why women are ridiculed.

Reynardine
Reynardine
12 years ago

Bearcatbanana: Deedee, is that you? And was her name Erret?

Polliwog
Polliwog
12 years ago

Okay, since we’ve had a few of these “men only hit women because the women are being BAD, not because the men in question are abusive fuckwads or anything” posts lately, I want to tell the MRAs a story and ask them a question.

The first time my ex punched me, it was because I woke him up when it was late at night and he was fast asleep. Pretty terrible of me, right?

Except…he had told me to wake him up. He had been quite explicit: “If thus-and-such happens, wake me up.” I had said, “Are you sure? If it happens, it’ll probably be at 2 AM or something, and you won’t want to get up. I don’t want to bother you when I can deal with it myself.” He had insisted, and had gone so far as to make me promise that, if thus-and-such happened, I would immediately come wake him up.

So I did. And he punched me and yelled at me and told me I was a stupid bitch for waking him up.

So here’s my question, MRAs. What should I have done? I mean, you’re certain that I “instigated” the violence against me by my horrible awfulness. How, precisely, could I have been non-horrible and not have required “corrective punishment”?

Falconer
12 years ago

I had a college roommate who was a complete dick. It wasn’t physical — I probably would have complained to someone if it was — but it was verbal. He’d get pouty at having to share the TV (he wanted to watch The Pretender and I wanted to watch The X-Files). He’d make “jokes” in public about me. Once he promised my assistance to someone in a public situation wherein I felt trapped into agreeing, because to disagree I felt would look like being dickish. He’d call me names.

It wasn’t a comfortable situation, and I about flipped my shit over it.

I can’t imagine what it’s like to actually be hit by someone, and then feel like it was my fault.

And everyone else here can say things a lot more insightful and with a lot better style than I can.

So all I gots is hugs for anyone who wants them. I’d hug NWO if I thought it would make his heart grow three sizes. Probably I’d get shanked with a tool used to clean udder hoses for my troubles, though.