Yesterday, we took a look at Ferdinand Bardamu’s manosphere manifesto “The Necessity of Domestic Violence,” a thoroughly despicable piece of writing that concludes:
Women should be terrorized by their men; it’s the only thing that makes them behave better than chimps.
I decided to take a look at Bardamu’s post yesterday after running across a discussion of it in Reddit’s new FeMRA subreddit, a forum ostensibly devoted to what “women can do to advance men’s rights as women.” It’s a strange little subreddit, started by a man and dominated by some of Reddit’s most unsavory MaleMRAs, some of them banned in the regular Men’s Rights subreddit.
Recently one of the most unsavory of the bunch, calling himself JeremiahGuy this time, posted a link to Bardamu’s domestic violence manifesto, which he hosts on his website. Jeremiah naturally used the discussion as an excuse to post more apologias for domestic “discipline” along the lines of the quote from him I featured yesterday.
But I was a little surprised to see GirlWritesWhat, the blabby FeMRA video blogger who’s captured the hearts of Reddit’s Men’s Rights crowd, step into the conversation with something of a defense of Bardamu’s noxious views. After reading Bardamu’s manifesto – the one advocating that men “terrorize” their women to make them behave – GWW blithely concluded:
I don’t really find too much in the article that strikes me as seriously ethically questionable.
Have I taken that remark out of context? Yes. In context, it’s worse. Here’s the entire quote from her, and a further clarification of her position.
She wasn’t the only one in the discussion to get upvotes for suggesting that men slapping women around from time to time isn’t really such a big deal. MaunaLoona (a MaleMRA) wrote:
Lots of MRAs like to pretend that they care about male victims of domestic violence. But the Men’s Rights movement hasn’t done shit for them. And here, I think, is why: too many MRAs are less interested in helping male victims of domestic violence than they are in providing excuses and justifications for male abusers.
Just to recap, Lawgirl/Pell is a Doctor Lawyer Hacker who is a major shareholder in… the internet? I don’t know, their post wasn’t very clear on that point. Also they have been to Russia dozens of times and I guess never saw any women actively being beaten in front of them, thus proving that there is no domestic violence in Russia at all. Sounds legit to me!
He connected a chronometer to a thermometer and put it under a bridge to time troll meltdowns
Technically though I guess a pedometer would be a device to measure the number of *children* in the general area.
Word rootz, Iz unnerstandz em.
He put a Geiger counter on the DNS to monitor how many HTMLs David uploads.
When he wants a drink he checks the barometer.
He uses a spirometer to check for corrupt vice presidents!
He has a magnetometer so Ian McKellan can’t sneak up on him.
He uses a sextant to look for PUAs.
And a manometer to detect the presence of misandry.
@Cliff
I misread magnetometer for manginameter.
He uses a manginameter to check for male feminists.
The fact that a manginameter doesn’t exist is all the proof we need of misandry. Still, I am glad we have the manometer to measure it scientifically.
“and even pushing needles under their nails are among them.”
Holy shit, are you with the Spanish Inquisition? o.O
Holy shit, are you with the Spanish Inquisition? o.O
Betcha didn’t expect that!
…I’m sorry, I had to, I think there’s a nerd law somewhere
and as part of that thread…
i know i have been warned about him but reading is believing
sorry, was quoting JeremiahGuy
I hate these people with the passion of a million burning suns. And sometimes you don’t see it coming. I certainly didn’t.
A friend and I had been discussing paranormal things, ghosts, etc at the bar. It was her, me, and my boyfriend at the time. He was ignoring us, or so I thought. It wasn’t until we left the bar that he got pissy at me, which then broke out into a verbal fight, all over the fact that I believe in ghosts. I “should have known better”. And to prove his point very thoroughly, he kicked me near the knee, so hard, in fact, that when I woke up the next morning, I had a bruise that went from just under my knee to my ankle.
I did not have sex with him after that. In fact, I spent the night in bed alone with a knife contemplating suicide. I was not inclined to have sex with him for quite awhile after that.
This is also leaving out the fact that I treated to yelling and screaming if I didn’t have an orgasm, as if that was my fault or something, despite the fact that I repeatedly warned him that sometimes, I just don’t. And really, he even knew about the previous boyfriend that held me against him and rubbed against me so that he’d get off while I cried silently. (Of course, that was never one of the reasons that the LegKicker would theorize upon. It was always something else that was my fault.)
What really pisses me off about the whole thing was that some of our friends claimed to be psychics. And he willingly hung out with them and even had a huge crush on one. He didn’t even argue with them about their beliefs!
“Corrective action”? I still believe in ghosts, so there. I just don’t talk about it unless I know the person very, very well.
Diagram Jail
I am TOTALLY naming a band this. If not a band, then something.
dammit! and I so rarely mess up blockquotes….must be all the disgust I have for them right now.
BTW, AbsintheDexterous, I’m sorry you had to deal with such a messed up fuckwit. Who the hell gets physically violent because someone believes in ghosts?
oh and I mean all the disgust I have for MRAs, not disgust for blockquotes. As far as I know they don’t advocate beating…oh sorry…”disciplining” women.
I love you people.
Wow. This is the most amazing (in good and bad ways) thread. I’ve only known this site for a couple of weeks. I love the way you regulars take down the trolls and the MRAs in general: you’re fiercely witty and alarmingly well educated and it’s a pleasure to read y’all (spirometer has to be my favourite from this little lot). I’ve also not encountered trolls quite so abysmally … abysmal, lol. Pell’s meltdown was something else. Mind-bogglingly vile but weirdly instructive, going from the “LawGirl” fakery and then showing the true colours (sort of the same shade as diarrhoea, really). The closest I’ve seen to this sort of stuff is the NiceGuy(TM) losers who have colonised the women’s pages on HuffPo. (I didn’t read RustyNail, sorry Steelepole’s, stuff: he’s dreary.)
And the kittens. Knowing there will be kittens is reason enough to read here even if there were no other.
Oh, and ancient history for the thread: that Dorothy Sayers quote from Gaudy Night refers, I think, to the threatening letters being left by a religous nutter whose husband had committed suicide. Very apt, because she blamed Evil Women Academics for killing her husband (he lost his job when his academic fraud was exposed). I love the Wimsey books. I missed half of what was going on in GN, haven’t the background knowledge, but loved the rest. 🙂
how does she manage to write this crap with a straight face?
This thread is unbeliavable…
Anyway. Seems like the MRA:s have this straw feminism they’re arguing against who thinks that a man must never be ANGRY with a woman no matter what she does, he’s only allowed to ever smile and nod no matter what she does or he’s an emotional abuser. But that’s nobody’s opinion.
Me and my husband rarely argues about anything. However, a few months ago this happened:
We have four dogs, and we agree that they shouldn’t have to be home alone too long. We try to arrange things so they won’t have to be alone for more than six or absolutely tops seven hours. Anyway, this night my husband had left for work at four in the afternoon. I had been a speaker at a conference and had been away all day. In the evening, everyone speaking, commenting or arranging the conference were to have dinner together at a restaurant. However, at the restaurant, I forgot about time. Until I suddenly checked my watch and o shit, it’s eleven! And I have some distance to travel!
Came home past midnight. My husband called. He hadn’t been able to reach me on my mobile since the battery had died.
Husband (angry): Did you just come home?
Me: Er… yes.
Husband (angry): So the dogs have been home alone for more than eight hours! Did anybody piss on the floor?
Me: Let me check… no.
Husband (angry): Well that’s lucky!
Me: I know I fucked up. I just forgot to check my watch, I was having such a good time. Sorry.
Husband: Okay.
Matter resolved.
Of course it could just as well have been the other way around, the genders aren’t really essential here.
The point is, that these MRA:s seem to believe that feminists would think that my husband emotionally abused me here, because he got angry over something I did. BUT NOBODY CLAIMS THAT. Nobody has ever said that “being angry=emotional abuse”. When you interact with other people, you can sometimes get angry. That’s NORMAL, and nobody disputes this. Now, what’s NOT normal is if he’d hit me when he eventually got home from work, or if he’d started belittling me by telling me how stupid and worthless I am or some shit like that to really scare me off from behaving like that in the future. But just being angry with somebody because that person has done something you’ve agreed on shouldn’t be done? That’s NORMAL; and nobody has disputed that.
@karak86
This DOES mean that MRAs understand that if it’s okay for a man to hit a woman as a relationship balance, it’s perfectly okay for a woman to hit/emasculate/insult/”keep him edge and humiliated” right?
No? Imagine that.
If only that were actually the way it was. In reality, women get off scott free when they hit/emasculate/insult/”keep him edge and humiliated”, and men have no way to defend themselves without being lambasted by accusations of DV and misogyny. When women abuse their men, people are more likely to cheer the woman on than offer assistance.
Gotta love the lady that just assumes he had it coming.
Oh, and let’s not forget an entire studio audience laughing at the oh, so hilarious topic of a guy getting his penis chopped off.
Something tells me that if I went on TV and started laughing and joking about female genital mutilation with the justification that ”she probably deserved it” it wouldn’t go over so well.
Even raising your voice at your wife can be considered DV now. And, the standard practice of police is to arrest the man even when the woman is the aggressor.
So, I really think you are mistaken, but only somewhat. I am pretty sure they think it’s okay precicesly because there are a considerably number of women already doing all that shit
hit/emasculate/insult/”keep him edge and humiliated
And so they believe that hitting back is justified.
Honestly, I really don’t think women have a good concept of boundaries or crossing the line in agitating people because they never learned that lesson in school. If a boy starts getting into another boy’s face and won’t leave him alone he might have to face the consequences of violence. Boys are taught to never hit girls, and they rarely do(despite what you all see in your wacko feminist fantasies of epidemic DV sweeping across the nation at unparalelled rates fueled by the remaining subversive influence of the patriarchy!) Girls don’t usually hit guys either, but I think what a lot of men have a problem with is the double standard of men doing hard time for DV, and women often getting off with something like anger management classes.
So where do we cross the line? If women and men are equal, at what point can a man retaliate?
Is this justified?
What if the initial aggressor(the smaller kid) was a girl(but a girl that can hit even harder than that kid, you know, because women are so strong, just as strong as men right?) Should that kid just stand there and take it? Run away and get bullied because he ran away from a girl?
I believe that violence should only be used as a last resort, but I also think few of us can keep our cool in situations like that. I think the most ironic thing about some feminists(and MRAs) is that their complete lack of understanding and empathy for the other gender stems from either a lack of experience(which both groups almost always claim to have in spades) or (and sorry to hurt anyone’s feelings) a completely warped view caused by a single traumatic experience. Of course, this is just speculation though. As is 99% of feminist theory.
My house was robbed by black people twice. I didn’t start to believe that black people are the only people that rob houses or that all black people rob houses . But some women think it’s fine to cheer on other women for chopping off guys’ dicks or beating on their husbands because maybe they had a bad experience in the past and guys probably deserve it because they are the only ones that do DV. I know, you are probably thinking ”I don’t think that way”, but that is how big feminism and the US Government act when they make laws about DV. I don’t remember whose comment it was, but they were saying that it’s so hard for women because sometimes the DV shelters are full. At least women get shelters. I think the reason a lot of MRAs are so angry about the DV issue is that most feminists won’t even recognize that it is an issue for men, and they fight tooth and nail to keep things like a men’s shelter from being built.