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GirlWritesWhat on “The Necessity of Domestic Violence”: “I don’t really find too much [that’s] seriously ethically questionable.”

Yesterday, we took a look at Ferdinand Bardamu’s manosphere manifesto “The Necessity of Domestic Violence,” a thoroughly despicable piece of writing that concludes:

Women should be terrorized by their men; it’s the only thing that makes them behave better than chimps.

I decided to take a look at Bardamu’s post yesterday after running across a discussion of it in Reddit’s new FeMRA subreddit, a forum ostensibly devoted to what “women can do to advance men’s rights as women.” It’s a strange little subreddit, started by a man and dominated by some of Reddit’s most unsavory MaleMRAs, some of them banned in the regular Men’s Rights subreddit.

Recently one of the most unsavory of the bunch, calling himself JeremiahGuy this time, posted a link to Bardamu’s domestic violence manifesto, which he hosts on his website. Jeremiah naturally used the discussion as an excuse to post more apologias for domestic “discipline” along the lines of the quote from him I featured yesterday.

But I was a little surprised to see GirlWritesWhat, the blabby FeMRA video blogger who’s captured the hearts of Reddit’s Men’s Rights crowd, step into the conversation with something of a defense of Bardamu’s noxious views. After reading Bardamu’s manifesto – the one advocating that men “terrorize” their women to make them behave – GWW blithely concluded:

I don’t really find too much in the article that strikes me as seriously ethically questionable.

Have I taken that remark out of context? Yes. In context, it’s worse. Here’s the entire quote from her, and a further clarification of her position.

She wasn’t the only one in the discussion to get upvotes for suggesting that men slapping women around from time to time isn’t really such a big deal. MaunaLoona (a MaleMRA) wrote:

Lots of MRAs like to pretend that they care about male victims of domestic violence. But the Men’s Rights movement hasn’t done shit for them. And here, I think, is why: too many MRAs are less interested in helping male victims of domestic violence than they are in providing excuses and justifications for male abusers.

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The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

He meant hold the pot (as in a kid’s potty) up to be congratulated, I presume. Not sure what his point was, unless to demonstrate the success of his humour bypass surgery.

timetravellingfool
9 years ago

Does a tired interest exercise you interest muscles? Will he come back even more interested three days from now after appropriate interest recovery time?

timetravellingfool
9 years ago

Wow, is pissing in pots still something people do? I certainly haven’t yet. Though were I drunk enough I might expect a bit of congratulations- I have trouble enough with those urine samples at the doctors office.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

I think it’s as in potty training for little kids, not adults.

Mind you if one had an outdoor dunny, a gazunda would be a good option at night. Fighting one’s way past the spiders at night is not fun.

(Gazunda: Aussie slang for a chamberpot. It gazunda the bed.)

pecunium
9 years ago

I wonder where he thinks I get my leaflets, since all I’m doing is quoting them (and I don’t have to look them up, or anything; to make sure they are relevant), since I’m stupid like that.

timetravellingfool
9 years ago

Hey wow, all I have to do is click on your name to get your blog, pecunium! my blog sucks- it’s mostlyu what I write when I am drunk and there are no trolls to pick on. you put me to shame.

pecunium
9 years ago

ttf: I still am not getting much in the way of commentary. The Lj peeps are still commenting at Lj, and no one else seems to want to talk amongst themselves.

timetravellingfool
9 years ago

hrm, well, give it time, it will spice up. Trolls usually help- they give people something to argue against, and that’s way easier- they’ll find you, they always do.

Kiwi girl
Kiwi girl
9 years ago

@pecunium and @ttf, maybe the blog needs more mantrol: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JDEWjoIGs8I 🙂

ShadetheDruid
9 years ago

Fighting one’s way past the spiders at night is not fun. – The Kittehs’ Unpaid Help

Would it be something like this?

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
9 years ago

Aw, that was only a partial meltdown. Pell, I’m very disappointed in you. Try harder next time.

Elle
Elle
9 years ago

Her comments disgust me. She is disregarding and trivializing the many women who are suffering in abusive relationships every second of the day. I can’t even begin to explain hw angry those comments made by her and all MRA’s make me on this subject. It really is sad and pathetic that there are people out there who think like this.

Andre
Andre
9 years ago
Reply to  Elle

I’m pretty certain based on what she says that she’s a person of courage and integrity. She has a brain too, which she allows to range independently. That make her a very rare and exemplary person. I don’t think she disregards or trivialises anything. Only a weak and cowardly person lacking in integrity could come to that conclusion. ‘Twas always thus.

cloudiah
9 years ago

I love those “only a weak and cowardly person lacking in integrity” could possibly disagree with me trolls — it has more to do with their inability to consider other positions than it does with any weaknesses on the opposing side, but they never seem able to see that.

In any case, I thought you were done with us Andre, but like so many trolls you find it impossible to stay away. It must be the scent of roast duck (to borrow from the other more current thread) that keeps drawing you back.

titianblue
titianblue
9 years ago

Andre hears the words “sad and pathetic” and comes running ….

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
9 years ago

Damn you, cloudiah! Don’t make me go wrestle with the traffic in Chinatown.

Andre
Andre
9 years ago

A troll is a person who hides beside a persona – a caricature. GWW is not that. Such people are a rarity. All that caricatures can see are other caricatures. They hope that everyone is the same as them, but that is not the case.

cloudiah
9 years ago

Hm, actually, one of the things I like most is being surrounded by people who aren’t like me, which is the reason I live in one of the most diverse cities in the U.S. in spite of its drawbacks. (Traffic! Lack of a decent public transportation system! Earthquakes!)

Your hagiographic vision of GWW is a little, well, sad and pathetic. Does she know you exist, and spend your time defending her on any blog where she’s mentioned, or do you do your white knighting in secret?

hellkell
hellkell
9 years ago

Andre, the troll is you.

Thought you were done with us.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
9 years ago

On the plus side, what we have here seems to be an MRA with a crush on a woman. It makes a nice change from all the arglebargleallwomenareevil.

cloudiah
9 years ago

Cassandra, it is kind of sweet, except how long do you want to bet it will last before Andre is moaning about the fact that he has been so nice to GWW but she’s never slept with him?

Andre
Andre
9 years ago

I admit to a “crush” of the kind that is from the neck upwards, if a crush is what you want to call it. I admit that I love courageous women. They are rare. I find listening to them more stimulating than watching people jerking themselves and each other off. If you like that sort of thing then hang out here. Alternatively, try to silence the scared little voices in your head and listen to what she has to say. I think she’s a bit reductive and overreaching in her evolutionary biology stuff, but that doesn’t matter – she’s interesting anyway. There is no free exchange or consideration of ideas going on here – it’s a therapeutic community – a mutual masturbation society. I’ve got nothing against such practices other than they get boring after a while.

Bostonian
9 years ago

So, you do not actually read the comments here at all then.

Andre
Andre
9 years ago

@cloudiah. You need to get over yourself. Not everything is reducible to fucking. Try to imagine that the world might not be like this and then try to figure out how you might find a way to navigate it anyway. You have other resources. I promise you that you do.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
9 years ago

I love it when people redefine “courageous” to mean “says/does exactly what I want them to in a way that appeals to my ego”.

@cloudiah

Are they in the same state? If so I give it a couple of months. This one seems reasonable enough not to expect her to fly to another state just to make his penis happy, so if they’re located a long way from each other maybe this crush will last for a while.

Andre
Andre
9 years ago
Reply to  CassandraSays

@CassandraSays. You need to get over yourself. Not everything is reducible to fucking. Try to imagine that the world might not be like this and then try to figure out how you might find a way to navigate it anyway. You have other resources. I promise you that you do.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
9 years ago

Dude, come on. Cut and pasting is so lazy.

Andre
Andre
9 years ago
Reply to  CassandraSays

@CasandraSays. My darling, I had no need to do anything else because you are a mere cut and paste. That is why I like GWW. She is not.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
9 years ago

I guess it makes sense why someone so lazy would love GWW, as un-challenging as she is.

cloudiah
9 years ago

Touched a nerve, I guess.

hellkell
hellkell
9 years ago

Andre: “I know you are, but what am I? Nyah.”

Jesus, kid, crawl back to your hole to wank over GWW far away from us.

cloudiah
9 years ago

Talking about courageous women, I was just at an awards ceremony that honored (among others) a woman who went to jail for refusing to testify for the prosecution in the conspiracy trial of a number of (male) anti-Vietnam War activists. Someone asked her how she had the courage to do that, and she looked kind of baffled. “Well, how could you go along with something that violated all of your most deeply held principles?” Very cool lady.

hellkell
hellkell
9 years ago

Cloudiah, very cool. See, Andre, THAT’S courage, not some chick begging for MRM scraps because she’s so different from those other women.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
9 years ago

(Reminds self to look cloudiah up next time I’m in LA.)

Andre
Andre
9 years ago
Reply to  CassandraSays

@Cassandra. This thread is about GWW’s response to a opinion piece, and the clarification of her position in response to questions. The characterisation of her by David Futrelle is dishonest. That’s why I jumped in on his blog. No doubt he will get applause for his dishonesty. He’s dishonest because he’s a spineless coward playing to an audience of spineless cowards. I think he knows he’s being dishonest. In fact, I’m certain of it.

@claudiah. You are a mixed up person. I’m glad you admire courageous women. The greatest courage is to kick against orthodoxy without considering the cost. That doesn’t mean that kicking against orthodoxy is itself heroic. Any fool can contest anything. I don’t think GWW is like this. She’s an interesting woman. She doesn’t make random assertions – she constructs clear arguments. Like everyone she seeks explanations that make sense in the light of her own experience. It doesn’t have to be about sex. Not everything is about sex. Did the woman that you spoke about refuse to testify because she had penises on her mind? It’s not impossible, but there are other possibilities. On grounds of plausibility, my assertion that this blog is a mutual masturbation society has a more substantial basis in evidence than the other sexual innuendos that have been fired off. If you were as courageous as the woman you claim to admire you would admit it. I dare you to say it because it is true. However, I think you don’t have her courage. 99.9% of people don’t, so you have no need to feel ashamed.

Tulgey Logger
Tulgey Logger
9 years ago

GWW isn’t cut-and-paste and she doesn’t make unsupported claims?

Reminds me of that time she cut-and-pasted a whole section of some misogynistic blog post making the completely unsupported claim that women used to own men as beasts of burden:

http://owningyourshit.blogspot.com/2012/03/transcript-of-fempocalypse.html

She doesn’t link to it, not even in the description of her youtube video, probably because she knows any fool can see how misogynistic it is:

http://no-maam.blogspot.com/2008/02/questionators-should-women-have-right.html

cloudiah
9 years ago

Oh Andre, “no matter the cost?” Really? My example of a courageous person went to jail without any hesitation to defend free speech and freedom of association. Your example got mocked on a blog.

No contest.

But by all means, keep digging.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
9 years ago

Well, when blogging is all you’ve ever done in terms of activism/social justice work I guess being mocked on a blog would seem like a high cost to you.

Andre
Andre
9 years ago
Reply to  cloudiah

There is a contest, but you would need to think outside your box. Everything you need to know you already know. You merely need to know it better. Lol, you and Cassandra make a good tag team.

Nepenthe
Nepenthe
9 years ago

There is a contest, but you would need to think outside your box. Everything you need to know you already know. You merely need to know it better.

*blink blink* What the fuck does this even mean? What contest are you talking about? Have you never heard the phrase “no contest” before and think that it’s a literal thing?

It’s like you’re trying to communicate. Bleat once for yes, twice for no, okay?

Andre
Andre
9 years ago
Reply to  Nepenthe

This is a mutual masturbation society. Join the tag team, Nepenthe.

Nepenthe
Nepenthe
9 years ago

How can it be a mutual masturbation society if I’m alone and wearing pants? I signed up for wanking people! Let’s get this party started!

*checks url* *blushes*

Huh, wrong tab… carry on all!

cloudiah
9 years ago

I’m in a box? [cloudiah puts on unitard and face paint and starts miming being trapped inside a box.]

And I got your contest right here (“I’m loaded with rocket fuel!”):

cloudiah
9 years ago

Wait, maybe that song IS about mutual masturbation!

You lie there naked, I lie here naked.
Both on the pavement. Why are we different?

Andre, seriously, try speaking in something other than cliches and catchphrases.

Okay, Cassandra, your turn. XD

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
9 years ago

Sorry, the contact high I was getting from Andre made me hungry and I wandered off to get some mochi.

(I’m being generous and assuming “stoned” rather than “imbecile”.)

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

[cloudiah puts on unitard and face paint and starts miming being trapped inside a box.]

Gasp … does this mean you’re Schrodinger’s Cat? :O

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
9 years ago

She’s Schrodinger’s Feminist. She could be out to kill all men, or she could be harmless. No way to know until Andre figures out how to open the box.

cloudiah
9 years ago

Open the box, Andre, I dare you.

[cloudiah tags Nepenthe]

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

I must, must put a Pratchett quote here now. It would be criminal not to.

Greebo had spent an irritating two minutes in that box. Technically, a cat locked in a box may be alive or it may be dead. You never know until you look. In fact, the mere act of opening the box will determine the state of the cat, although in this case there were three determinate states the cat could be in: these being Alive, Dead, and Bloody Furious.

Shawn dived sideways as Greebo went off like a Claymore mine.

“Don’t worry about him,” said Magrat dreamily, as the elf flailed at the maddened cat. “He’s just a big softy.”

Nepenthe
Nepenthe
9 years ago

*throws fruit at cloudiah* Sorry, it’s an automatic reaction to mimes. One thing that Vetinari got completely right. If I hit you, consider it a tag.

Also, not only is it that song about mutual masturbation, it’s about public mutual masturbation. Everything really is about sex. Dirty, crazy sex too.