Sure, America’s women athletes may have taken home a whopping 29 gold medals, but over on The Thinking Housewife, Laura Wood is pissed off at them – and the rest of the Olympic women — for being so, well, athletic.
In a recent post, Wood rushes to the defense of a Turkish newspaper columnist who complained about the “broad-shouldered, flat-chested women” who were destroying Womanhood with their mannish, muscular bodies. Alas, wrote Yuksel Aytug, even their “breasts – the symbol of womanhood, motherhood – [were] flattened into stubs as they were seen as mere hindrances to speed.” Curse you, sports bras!
Seriously, in future Olympics, female athletes should face mandatory deductions for every cup size less than C.
Wood adds her own two cents:
A man who dares to say what every normal person has been thinking when confronted with the muscle-bound female gladiators at the games and what soft, effeminate Western men would not dare articulate, Aytug has been attacked for his remarks throughout the Western world. He is tiresomely accused of misogyny. In fact, judging from these words, he is an admirer of women, a courageous defender of them.
Or at least of their tits.
The Olympic Games are anti-woman. They require female athletes to ape men in grotesque ways. They compromise female fertility and modesty. They promote the idea that aggression and competitiveness in women are normal and healthy. They debase not just women athletes but womanhood throughout the world.
Well, I suppose Wood can take solace in the fact that the “muscle-bound” bodies of these “female gladiators” didn’t stop the Pedophile – sorry, Ephebophile – Army of Reddit from perving on McKayla Maroney and the rest of the US Women’s Gymnastics team.
@PosterformerlyknownasElizabeth,
Yes. And what about Nur Suryani Mohammed Taibi who competed(?)/will compete(?) [haven’t been following the games] in the 10 meter air rifle event while pregnant? Wonder how TTHW will be able to make that fit.
What an incredible story for her baby though, huh? I imagine her at school “Yeah…I was totally at the Olympics”.
@earthfae
God, no, not cross-stitch! Cross-stitch is a wonderful, relaxing art form and SHE CAN’T HAVE IT!
I did not know that (I just googled “women medal winners” and followed the links on Wikipedia.)
So yes, fertility is not harmed AT ALL by women being all sensible about diet and exercise.
And now I just realize that I have decided that the lovely Olympian I mentioned is having a daughter. I can’t find any article where she refers to the baby as a boy or a girl. So I take that back and replace it with: I imagine that kid at school “Yeah…I was totally at the Olympics.
@ Falconer- Remember that runner Caster Semenya from the last Olympics who was in killer shape and everyone said ‘omg, she’s a dude’ and got all out of gear? And she had the pleasure of finding out she was hormonally ‘intersexed’ along with the entire fucking world? Apparently, even though biological sex isn’t as goddamn black and white as sexist fuckwits who adore the gender binary seem to believe despite there being Over-fucking-whelming physical evidence to the contrary, the Olympic committee does not care for shit like Science and Reality. Therefore, they are determined to force every female athlete who doesn’t conform to social standards of biological femininity to chemically alter their actual biological make-up and reverse what is a completely healthy and natural hormonal balance. And to answer the question you may or may not have asked, no, hormonal intersexedness is not always athletically advantageous. Ever have a hormone shot? Depo provera? Anything? ow did you feel when people started to fuck around with your chemistry? if you are like the majority of women who suffer side effects from medication designed to regulate your hormones, I doubt you felt too much like winning gold medals.
Sorry for the block of text, but I can’t even paragraph I’m so angry.
@princessbonbon,
I don’t know if you came across it but there was this really wonderful article I read before the games started where the journalist was asking her how her pregnancy was affecting her training or how it might affect her during the event. She said that she was initially concerned about the baby kicking right when she was going to fire but she wasn’t worried anymore because during training she would talk to her baby saying something along the lines of: mom’s going to shoot now so just stay still for a minute. She says she’s they’ve worked quite well together.
Ugh, keep forgetting the article link: http://www.thestar.com/sports/london2012/article/1205025–olympics-struggle-with-policing-femininity
Whereas blogging about how all those women who aren’t you are disgusting and terrible, unlike you, promotes…kindness and humility? Something doesn’t sound quite right there…
Passive-aggression is the ladylike aggression.
I’m enjoying her “losing valuable boob weight turns you into a man” theory, but there’s such a rich historical trove of pseudo-science against women’s athletics she could delve into here. What about the terrible danger of women’s uteruses falling out if they jump up and down too much?
Mom’s going to shoot now so just stay still for a minute.
That’s the most badass sentence on God’s green earth.
Oh goody, the marxists and their critical theory are out in full force.
Critical of western values. Check.
Critical of traditional femaleness. Check.
Critical of sluts? Never!
Critical of gays? Hell no!
Do you offer any other than marxist critical theory? Hatred of anything white, western, Christian, traditionally male/female or normal is all you offer.
@Shaenon,
Yeah, I got the sentiment right but some of the details wrong. That’s what I get for summarizing something I read a while ago instead of just linking to the article which is here:
http://www.examiner.com/article/pregnant-olympian-nur-suryani-mohd-taibi-competes-2012-olympic-games
I guess the baby actually was kicking during the try outs or something.
@Vitamin D: I had forgotten about Semenya, and I’m ashamed of it. It didn’t make that much of a blip on my radar at the time.
On this point I am lucky that I have an aunt with a similar build who has been great about understanding my feelings and boosting me up about it. I tell you this because she has two boys and didn’t have any particular issues in getting pregnant, being pregnant, or delivering based upon her body shape. So YES, they sometimes have babies!
I’d give a deal for every dreary bitch like this to get lockjaw and I wish none of them would have daughters to poison and oppress…ever.
The McGee, that is a very sweet story that made me go awwww..
@ Falconer- It got shoved to the back of my mind until I started searching for articles written in the 1900’s about female tennis players to see if Housewife was channeling the spirit of dead sexist reporters. Somehow that article made it into my results list. Apparently the search algorithm for infuriating and demeaning stuff done to women at the Olympics likes to keep the worst crap up top.
Yeah, it’s knocked out my long-time favorite.
<(o_O)
Of course he is.
Sorry, I just can't evengraaaagshhm 🙁
Marilyn Monroe never successfully carried a baby to term, and if I had a nickel for every “unfeminine” woman I’ve known who had a good-sized family, I could buy one of those little islands we were discussing
Calm down Housewife, my normally flat-chested and very athletic big sis developed at least three sizes bigger boobs when pregnant, much to her surprise and slight annoyance, they did the job at the time – all normal and natural etc.
What in hell have those women in the post illo have on the ends of their legs? ‘Cause they sure as hell ain’t feet.
Did the artist ever see women athletes?
Fuck it. I’m giving up on the drawing altogether. It is what it is, and there are other things I need my energy for.
I love Jenna Marbles’ video reply to that initial author 🙂 http://youtu.be/Ag4C0MFRnmE
Look, hasn’t any big strong man told this knob to stop all her unwomanly yapping on the Internet and go do something useful like fix his dinner?
I think they’re wearing… ballet shoes? Those things that flop-flop-flop on your feet then fall off when you run, and also allow your hips to feel like they’re being slammed onto your legs with every stride.
There appear to be tiny out-of-proportion feet in each of the ballet flats.