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Heartiste: Chris Brown is a great role model for wannabe alpha males

Chris Brown, who’s convinced that he’s apologized enough for what he calls his “mishap.”

Over on his little chateau, otherwise known as a blog, the pick-up Heartiste Formerly Known as Roissy suggests a rather unusual role model for young and not-so-young men hoping to impress women with their alphaness: Chris Brown. Not for being a charismatic singer, but for that time he nearly beat Rihanna to death.

Oh, you don’t have to literally beat up women to be an alpha. Just work on making them uncomfortable and insecure.

Maxim #19: Making a woman feel a little emotional pain will reward you a thousandfold in returned physical pleasure.

You don’t have to be fists-of-fury Chris Brown to pick up a Rihanna and make her fall in deep, profound love with you, but don’t let the lesson of their relationship be lost on you. If you are a beta male — and odds are you are — you can superglue your relationship bond by instilling in your woman a calculated level of discomfort and insecurity. You won’t feel bad about this, because you will know that the discomfort you create is subconsciously DESIRED by your girl. Despite her outward appearance of frustration and timorous appeasement, you will know that inside, she is lit up like a vagina tree, with a squirting orgasm shooting out of the star on top.

In addition to everything else that is horribly wrong with this quote, let me just say that “lit up like a vagina tree” is not a phrase that I hope works its way into the vernacular.

So far, so good.

 

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Sharculese
Sharculese
12 years ago

y’all are talking at mikey like objectivists have a coherent theory of what government is. they don’t. objectivism is a weird mishmash of aesthetic stalinism and paeans to a vaguely defined ‘capitalism’. it’s not about doing things, it’s about complaining about what everyone else is doing wrong.

seriously, have ya’ll never argued with one of these dudes before. did you read that nonsense about ‘recognizing the great man’. it’s not about government, it’s about grievance.

Steele
Steele
12 years ago

Governments are formed in historical processes, not in some fucking think tank in the sky. You utopian. Any government formed from modern states is by definition the creation of thievery on a large scale. Capitalism was born in the blood of workers who were dispossessed of their land via the Enclosure Act, forced *by law* to beg for jobs at factories, then exploited until they died without leaving any form of inheritance to their working class sons and daughters. It was born in slavery, when corporations bought Africans and sold them to plantation owners in the South, resulting in a permanent underclass in America. You can’t just decide to bring some stupid ‘free market’ ideology via the law and then go “and now you’re FREE!” as though people didn’t already have 300 years of bullshit and oppression on their shoulders while a few fortunate ones have acquired 90% of the wealth.

Excuse me – so what are you arguing against? Capitalism, or government? These are two different things, you know.

Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
12 years ago

@ scrapemind – Gotcha. Then all republican modes of government are invalid.

Sharculese
Sharculese
12 years ago

in the broader scheme of things the veneration of a certain class of industrialist is actually probably secondary to the aesthetic stalinism, which is what rand really got off on.

ozymandias42
12 years ago

Scrapemind: So there’s some kind of kingly apostolic succession going on here? o.O

BlackBloc (@XBlackBlocX)

BTW BlackBloc, are you an anarchist? Or in favor of the abrogation of a central authority?

I know right, the guy with the nym BlackBloc is an anarchist, that’s a mighty shocker!

Even if you are, I hope someday you realize that Governments were imposed upon the masses for the masses own good.

I’m pretty sure that governments were imposed upon the masses for the powerful’s own good. It’s the thing keeping their heads on their shoulders and far from the guillotine blades.

Sharculese
Sharculese
12 years ago

@ozy

scrapemind is jealous that a different right wing huff’n’puffer is getting all the attention, so he’s saying whatever he thinks will get a reaction.

BlackBloc (@XBlackBlocX)

>>>Excuse me – so what are you arguing against? Capitalism, or government?

Both. Capitalism is an economic system imposed by statism.

Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
12 years ago

@ Sharculese – I know! I started reading the Fountainhead (never finished; life’s too short) and as they were talking about the building, all I could think of was the Palace of the Soviets

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Palace_of_the_Soviets

ozymandias42
12 years ago

BlackBloc: OMG, soon they’ll work out I like poetry and graphic novels.

Scrapemind: …am I allowed to still be amused by the idea of kingly apostolic succession?

ozymandias42
12 years ago

Bodsworth: When’d you quit reading? I threw it across the room at the line “rape by engraved invitation” and never picked it up.

Steele
Steele
12 years ago

Both. Capitalism is an economic system imposed by statism.

I once again pose the critical question – without a government, what’s to stop bad behavior, without any sort of check? What’s to stop inevitable bids for power, from the tyrant to the man who bullies his neighbor?

BlackBloc (@XBlackBlocX)

Government came about because God gave our father Adam dominion over the Earth and our kings inherited their authority from Adam through their fathers (hence patriarchy).

I knew there was a reason I have a visceral need to chop off the head of royalty. As the Light of the World told the Big Guy in the Sky: “Non serviam”.

Monsieur sans Nom
Monsieur sans Nom
12 years ago

@Ozy: This isn’t about me, it’s about YOU. You made a claim and I asked you to give a positive example….Instead you dodged the question and changed the subject to Stalinism, which is NOT the only form of authoritarianism.

@BlackBlock: You’re living in a fantasy utopia where people are saints. Time to get in touch with reality.

Myoo
Myoo
12 years ago

@Steele
I’m not arguing for anarchism, I’m arguing against objectivism. And in objectivism, the expected result is a bunch of selfish people who believe they are special and so demand special treatment, while doing very little of actual value but coasting by on the fact that they have historically benefited from centuries of oppression and using that as a sign that they are special.
So, pretty much what we have today, but with everyone being an even bigger self-righteous douche about it. I fail to see the plus side.

Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
12 years ago

@ Ozymandias – “Bodsworth: When’d you quit reading? I threw it across the room at the line “rape by engraved invitation” and never picked it up.”

I don’t remember exactly. I read it a long time ago. I wasn’t familiar with Rand at the time, and had no idea of the cultish attachment some people had to it. It was only later when some dipstick on the net was singing it’s praises that I thought “hey that sounds familiar.”

Steele
Steele
12 years ago

You’re living in a fantasy utopia where people are saints.

Indeed, this fairly sums up the anarchist worldview. The jester’s fool’s fool.

Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
12 years ago

@ Steele – “The jester’s fool’s fool.”

You are not clever. I cannot stress this enough. People don’t keep quoting this line because they’re impressed by it. Laughing at you, not with you. Really important distinction.

Dracula
Dracula
12 years ago

A fantasy utopia, huh? Pretty funny coming from someone who believes the Robot Supermen will save the future.

Linds
12 years ago

There’s always the point that a number of First Nations communities were something like communist. At the very least there was no strong feudal or industrial government in a lot of them– iirc, the Iriqouis, for instance based local governance on communal consensus.

Sharculese
Sharculese
12 years ago

Indeed, this fairly sums up the anarchist worldview.

ladies and gentleman, i present mikey’s intellectual equal. a dude who pretends to be autistic on the internet so he can wank about downloading his brain into a tentacle monster

Sharculese
Sharculese
12 years ago

@bodsworth

if we were going to convince mikey how lame and pretentious ‘jester’s fool’ sounds, it would have happened already

Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
12 years ago

@ Sharculese – “if we were going to convince mikey how lame and pretentious ‘jester’s fool’ sounds, it would have happened already”

Deep down, I guess I always knew that.

Still, a man can dream… a man can dream

BlackBloc (@XBlackBlocX)

@BlackBlock: You’re living in a fantasy utopia where people are saints.

I don’t trust anyone to govern anyone because I consider any man in power no matter how moral is going to be corrupted by that power, and I’m the one who thinks people are saints…

Sometimes the minds boggle.

Monsieur sans Nom
Monsieur sans Nom
12 years ago

There’s always the point that a number of First Nations communities were something like communist. At the very least there was no strong feudal or industrial government in a lot of them– iirc, the Iriqouis, for instance based local governance on communal consensus.

Those were tribal societies that you’re referring to. Ever heard of the Aztecs? The Tzotzil? Or the Inca’s? Those cultures may not have had industry but they certainly had a feudalist central government. What doomed the Aztecs was not spanish technology(yes the conquistadors had guns, but theirs didn’t work very well), but disease.

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