Over on his little chateau, otherwise known as a blog, the pick-up Heartiste Formerly Known as Roissy suggests a rather unusual role model for young and not-so-young men hoping to impress women with their alphaness: Chris Brown. Not for being a charismatic singer, but for that time he nearly beat Rihanna to death.
Oh, you don’t have to literally beat up women to be an alpha. Just work on making them uncomfortable and insecure.
Maxim #19: Making a woman feel a little emotional pain will reward you a thousandfold in returned physical pleasure.
You don’t have to be fists-of-fury Chris Brown to pick up a Rihanna and make her fall in deep, profound love with you, but don’t let the lesson of their relationship be lost on you. If you are a beta male — and odds are you are — you can superglue your relationship bond by instilling in your woman a calculated level of discomfort and insecurity. You won’t feel bad about this, because you will know that the discomfort you create is subconsciously DESIRED by your girl. Despite her outward appearance of frustration and timorous appeasement, you will know that inside, she is lit up like a vagina tree, with a squirting orgasm shooting out of the star on top.
In addition to everything else that is horribly wrong with this quote, let me just say that “lit up like a vagina tree” is not a phrase that I hope works its way into the vernacular.
So far, so good.
cloudiah, awwwwwwwww!!!11! So incredibly cute! And a healthy li’l thing, too.
NWO: you say slut like it’s a bad thing. Did some slut not call you back?
@zanana, I wouldn’t consider either of those guys to be PUA though, they seem more like social interaction in general coaches than pick-up artists.
@Cliff: Oh god, all the phobias.
Spelunking through tiny cracks = ohmygod I’m gonna get stuck and die here.
Balancing 20 ft off the ground = ohmygod I’m gonna fall and break my neck.
And now NWO tells me I can die from walking on flat, level ground. How, I’m not quite sure.
I don’t think I’ll ever leave my house again 😉
(seriously — sounds like serious fun. I’m just not sure I’d ever have the huevos to try any of it.)
Owly, there’s a difference between having lots of sex and trying to trick people into having sex with you.
Also Slavey, I’m an Anarcho-Communist, which in all likelyhood should rustle your jimmies far more than the average marxist.
I feel like NWO just learned the word “Marxist” and he’s really really proud of himself.
@Karalora 😀
@aworldanonymous, Yeah, I guess it depends how you define PUA. Wayne’s thing is all about being genuine and direct about your interests and intentions, and rewarding other people with positive feedback when they respond in kind. It works in professional and platonic, as well as romantic relationships.
@aworldanonymous YAY! *anarcho-commie-cross-interweb-fistbumps* *bares teeth at NWO*
That is pretty much the abusers justification in a nutshell. Terrorize her until she is afraid to stay or to leave and then claim that she stays because she gets of on living in fear.
Cliff Pervocracy:
Well, you know, when misandric sluts and their international banker pals deprive God-fearing Christian Nordic men of orgasms, using “Marxist” in a sentence is the next best thing.
Nah, Owlyslave doesn’t believe feminists can be anarchists of any kind. In his book, feminist=statist, always and forever.
The lap blanket’s name is Cookie 🙂
Holy friggin’ crap, cabbage dog is the best dog ever! That shit cracked me up.
Does anyone wish to elucidate how exactly “anarcho-communism” is supposed to work? Excuse me while I chortle.
Oh, hi Mr. Steelepole, well anarcho-communism works because the central tenets of communism hold that the state is in fact the highest form of opression, and argues that it is merely an upper class. Even Marx was of the ideal that the Dictatorship of the Proletariat was merely a transitioning phase to an egalitarian stateless society, you should read some Bakunin though, considering I mince words like crazy, he explains it far better than I ever could.
Somebody take away that boy’s thesaurus.
@Katz My dearly beloved (and sadly deceased) cat was named Cookie, though she made a less substantial lap blanket!
@Dracula I loved his little cabbage hat at the end. There’s just something about a dog wearing a hat…
FTFY.
Wow, after reading this series of blog posts today http://allmystubbornounces.wordpress.com/2012/08/13/i-am-a-survivor-and-this-is-my-story-part-one/ (serious trigger warning for sexual assault) Heartiste is sounding even more rapey and abusive to me than usual and that says a lot.
Steele, there’s this thing called Google, you can be in charge of your own knowledge. Or complete lack thereof.