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Heartiste: Chris Brown is a great role model for wannabe alpha males

Chris Brown, who’s convinced that he’s apologized enough for what he calls his “mishap.”

Over on his little chateau, otherwise known as a blog, the pick-up Heartiste Formerly Known as Roissy suggests a rather unusual role model for young and not-so-young men hoping to impress women with their alphaness: Chris Brown. Not for being a charismatic singer, but for that time he nearly beat Rihanna to death.

Oh, you don’t have to literally beat up women to be an alpha. Just work on making them uncomfortable and insecure.

Maxim #19: Making a woman feel a little emotional pain will reward you a thousandfold in returned physical pleasure.

You don’t have to be fists-of-fury Chris Brown to pick up a Rihanna and make her fall in deep, profound love with you, but don’t let the lesson of their relationship be lost on you. If you are a beta male — and odds are you are — you can superglue your relationship bond by instilling in your woman a calculated level of discomfort and insecurity. You won’t feel bad about this, because you will know that the discomfort you create is subconsciously DESIRED by your girl. Despite her outward appearance of frustration and timorous appeasement, you will know that inside, she is lit up like a vagina tree, with a squirting orgasm shooting out of the star on top.

In addition to everything else that is horribly wrong with this quote, let me just say that “lit up like a vagina tree” is not a phrase that I hope works its way into the vernacular.

So far, so good.

 

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glove
12 years ago

Ok I’m late to the party but Mr No Name claimed earlier that there are no succesful anarchic societies in existence. Dude needs to google Zapatista.

Tulgey Logger
Tulgey Logger
12 years ago

Excuse me? I’m actually chortling as I write this.

Excuse me? Hast thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
Oh vile day! Callooh! Callay!
He chortled in his joy.

scrapemind
12 years ago

Is this the thread where we post songs about killing fascists?

Noadi
12 years ago

was reflecting on this general topic recently. What has Team Woman accomplished in this area after ~50 years of rearranging all the cultural furniture? What are they now known for? I mean, on the plus side.

Boutique cupcake stores. While the Hostess Corp. is filing for bankruptcy. You almost can’t make stuff like this up.

What does this even mean? Is it really arguing that the maker of crappy mass produced baked goods is going under because people prefer fresh baked cupcakes and that this is a bad thing?

BlackBloc (@XBlackBlocX)

@scrapemind: Killing fascists is always pretty awesome. (Troll harder.)

http://youtu.be/4CI3lhyNKfo

howardbann1ster
12 years ago

You know what was awesome? When Nommie and scrapemind dipped into this thread.

Like Mikey, they have a compulsive need for attention. But it became clear to them very quickly that they couldn’t compete. They pulled out the most awful ideas they could formulate as quickly as they could and threw them out to earn our scorn and derision (which is the closest thing they get to real human interaction).

But then they left the thread, because Mikey sucked all of our attention up in this massive flailing meltdown.

Seriously, how could any old wildly offensive idea stand up to the Jester’s Fool’s Fool?

They stood no chance.

Don’t worry, guys! He posts in a predictable pattern! Just don’t post when he’s posting, and you can have our full, undivided scorn!

And I’m sure you’ll enjoy it very, very much.

zhinxy
12 years ago

I love Utah Phillips, but I’m in a Leo Ferre mood today!

BlackBloc (@XBlackBlocX)

Nice scenes from “Juegos de Guerra” in there. I have the DVD of that movie. A lot of focus on the Mujeres Libres, which would piss off our MRA friends here because it suggests that when common people rise up to fight for their freedom, women tend to pick up arms as well unless the *men* are keeping them from doing so.

BlackBloc (@XBlackBlocX)

Though it’s known as “Libertarias” pretty much everywhere except on my DVD case, I guess. Here’s the intro.

http://youtu.be/kG9c5ieKIv4

BlackBloc (@XBlackBlocX)

And the full movie if you don’t need subtitles to understand Spanish. 😉
http://youtu.be/od_afpfjnsQ

Myoo
Myoo
12 years ago

@Noadi

What does this even mean? Is it really arguing that the maker of crappy mass produced baked goods is going under because people prefer fresh baked cupcakes and that this is a bad thing?

I think it means that, since Hostess Corp. is filing for bankrupcy, it means that people don’t want cupcakes and therefore opening boutique cupcake stores is stupid. And since in their view only women open these kinds of stores, that shows that women are stupid.

Disregard all the stores opened by men that sell MANLY products that have as much of a niche appeal as cupcake stores and are most likely destined to fail. Those are just an example of MEN’s mighty entrepreneurial spirit.

BlackBloc (@XBlackBlocX)

My favorite scene is @16:50 or so. 😛

zhinxy
12 years ago

Curse my virtually non existant Spanish. I’ve wanted to see it for a while, yet can never find a subbed copy! 😛

Yeah, MRA’s vs. women in guerilla combat / revolution is a fun topic. Don’t forget NWO’s hilarious reading of “Beat me, Strip me, My brother’s blood will cover me!”

zhinxy
12 years ago

Even more is that all these dudes complain about how selfish women are for not attending to their precious bonerz yet here they are worshipping Rand’s very selfish philosophy. Gotta love the stupidity and contradiction of these losers. And yes I am shaming you.

It’s worth pointing out that while she was critical of feminism (Largely because it refused to declare her the best woman ever, perhaps) and had some essentialist notions, she spoke favorably of Betty Friedan’s feminist mystique. was firmly pro-choice, and encouraged women to speak their minds and have careers and be fully actualized selfish individuals. I’m not a fan, but she’s a raging feminist compared to a lot of her more socially conservative/MRA “acolytes”

doctornic
12 years ago

BlackBloc you have just blown my mind with Attila. Saw him at my uni bar in the early 90s. May even have a copy of scornflakes floating around somewhere.

Captain Bathrobe
Captain Bathrobe
12 years ago

Count me in as a huge Billy Bragg fan. I have nearly all his albums.

TheNatFantastic
12 years ago

Oh, and have some French anarcha-feminist rap (with subtitles):

zhinxy
12 years ago

Whattya know, found a subbed Libertarias! I shall anarchy now –

http://www.anarcho-punk.net/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=3904

And speaking of 1936 –

BlackBloc (@XBlackBlocX)

>>>Curse my virtually non existant Spanish. I’ve wanted to see it for a while, yet can never find a subbed copy!

Get in touch. Like I said, I own the DVD (with subtitles) and I’m a no-good anarchist. Hint hint.

zhinxy
12 years ago

and – Why not? – the Billy Bragg cover of All You Fascists (Are Bound to Lose)

BlackBloc (@XBlackBlocX)

If that’s the version I tried to get way back when, the subtitles got progressively less and less well timed with the film, and around a third of the movie were unwatchable. Which prompted my disgust and ordering of the DVD off of Amazon (I believe).

BlackBloc (@XBlackBlocX)

And Keny Arkana is the bomb. Was going to post but thought I’d already busted the French music quotas. 😉

eline
eline
12 years ago

Late to the party but… I can’t help but wonder what is this subtype of women that these gurus generalise to be all the women in the world? Sounds like a truly damaged person, perhaps a borderline personality type. I know those women exist, but they’re quite rare. Or I’ve not bumped into more than a few in my life.

And if this subtype is the only type of women these guys have experience about, maybe it explains somewhat why they think of women the way they do. Too bad for them, it’s indeed just one subtype and their tricks aren’t gonna work on the vast majority. And then these guys end up spending their lives in and out of relationships with these damaged people, because everyone else will steer clear of them.

It’s sad, but in a way I guess it’s good for the rest of the people that these damaged people find each other and don’t end up messing the lives of others.

Monsieur sans Nom
Monsieur sans Nom
12 years ago

I don’t trust anyone to govern anyone because I consider any man in power no matter how moral is going to be corrupted by that power, and I’m the one who thinks people are saints…Sometimes the minds boggle.

So you trust your fellow countrymen not to run around raping, robbing, and killing as they please if there is no government(and thus no police force and no prisons to keep them separate from society)? Do you also trust your local thugs not to harm you and leave you alone if there’s no state and no need for them to worry about getting busted?