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Heartiste: Chris Brown is a great role model for wannabe alpha males

Chris Brown, who’s convinced that he’s apologized enough for what he calls his “mishap.”

Over on his little chateau, otherwise known as a blog, the pick-up Heartiste Formerly Known as Roissy suggests a rather unusual role model for young and not-so-young men hoping to impress women with their alphaness: Chris Brown. Not for being a charismatic singer, but for that time he nearly beat Rihanna to death.

Oh, you don’t have to literally beat up women to be an alpha. Just work on making them uncomfortable and insecure.

Maxim #19: Making a woman feel a little emotional pain will reward you a thousandfold in returned physical pleasure.

You don’t have to be fists-of-fury Chris Brown to pick up a Rihanna and make her fall in deep, profound love with you, but don’t let the lesson of their relationship be lost on you. If you are a beta male — and odds are you are — you can superglue your relationship bond by instilling in your woman a calculated level of discomfort and insecurity. You won’t feel bad about this, because you will know that the discomfort you create is subconsciously DESIRED by your girl. Despite her outward appearance of frustration and timorous appeasement, you will know that inside, she is lit up like a vagina tree, with a squirting orgasm shooting out of the star on top.

In addition to everything else that is horribly wrong with this quote, let me just say that “lit up like a vagina tree” is not a phrase that I hope works its way into the vernacular.

So far, so good.

 

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fembot
12 years ago

Speaking of The Spearhead, here’s a comment from WalkinginHell2.

If I had my way, all American women would have a choice; forced exile; or loaded into FEMA camps and used as slave labor.

That is how much I respect you.

Yeah, the MRM is totally not misogynist.

BlackBloc (@XBlackBlocX)

Political songs? I’ve got some of those. Quebec student strike song.
http://youtu.be/u5fayzWu0HU

cloudiah
12 years ago

Not political, I just fucking love Carla Bozulich’s voice:

Sharculese
Sharculese
12 years ago

If I had my way, all American women would have a choice; forced exile; or loaded into FEMA camps and used as slave labor.

oh god, leave it to the spearhead to work misogyny into rightwing FEMA camp conspiracy theories

cloudiah
12 years ago

Okay now political:

and

(Leon Rosselson is pretty awesome, even in covers.)

Sharculese
Sharculese
12 years ago

actually, my first memories of fema involve it basically being used as a swear word, not because of the rightwing conspiracy theories, but because my mom’s division at cdc shared a building with a fema group, and they took all the best parking spaces or something

BlackBloc (@XBlackBlocX)

Billy Bragg is awesome. But I like Attila The Stockbroker’s version best.

Sharculese
Sharculese
12 years ago

no reasons now, just posting stuff im listening to

cloudiah
12 years ago

You got a link, BlackBloc? Or is it (gasp) not available on YouTube?!???!!?!?!!

cloudiah
12 years ago

SPAM

Molly moon
Molly moon
12 years ago

The jester’s fool’s fool.

This hasn’t been laughed at enough yet so I’m pointing it out again.

The moment I comprehended that he wrote this sentence was the moment I stopped believing he was serious. When did he start posting so much? Was it when summer started?

BlackBloc (@XBlackBlocX)

It’s three songs about the Diggers/Levellers, in a medley. It has The World Turned Upside Down but I think it’s the last one of the lot.

http://youtu.be/dQX6DVG9N10

katz
12 years ago

What I’m listening to

…What?

Sharculese
Sharculese
12 years ago

i dont listen to dog with a box on its head, but i will watch it. because dogs with boxes on their heads.

Sharculese
Sharculese
12 years ago

my favorite the golden retriever that got stuck in the present box

BlackBloc (@XBlackBlocX)

More folksy goodness. Joe Hill (RIP)

http://youtu.be/v8qoB1XwtHM

Quackers
Quackers
12 years ago

Its really ironic that so many misogynists like Ayn Rand. I thought the wimminz are too vapid and emotional to write about politics and philosophy, or is that only in cases when they argue against selfish, greedy douchebags?

Even more is that all these dudes complain about how selfish women are for not attending to their precious bonerz yet here they are worshipping Rand’s very selfish philosophy. Gotta love the stupidity and contradiction of these losers. And yes I am shaming you.

cloudiah
12 years ago

Thanks, BlackBloc! I’m always glad to see the great Leon Rosselson being paid tribute…

cloudiah
12 years ago

Dogs! Boxes! So much to like!

BlackBloc (@XBlackBlocX)

Love that one, and particularly like that they went in and edited “a band of working MEN” to “a band of working FOLKS”.

http://youtu.be/O93YpTYCWRk

cloudiah
12 years ago

Confession: one of my cats is named after this woman.

katz
12 years ago

Real song this time.

katz
12 years ago

Oh, COME ON, YouTube.

TheNatFantastic
12 years ago

Sorry to cover old ground, but I went to bed before this all kicked off. So… last night, Steele had never heard of anarcho-communism. He then went to a blog to steal some talking points (having clearly not understood them, although it’s probable that the OPs of them didn’t either), returned and told us that human nature precluded people from working together because arglebargleRandetc., despite humans having formed groups to work or their common good since OOOOH THE DAWN OF TIME, and WE’RE the stupid ones?

OK, just checking.

(PS I work in anarchy-based groups a hell of a lot of the time, and around 90% of them aren’t explicitly so. It’s really not a wild flight of fancy for people to work together for a mutual aim with no hierarchy.)

kiki
kiki
12 years ago

Okay seriously Steelepole, “jester’s fool” really isn’t workin’ for ya. It just makes you look like a horse’s ass.

In Steele-ese that would perhaps be ‘a buttock’s ass’.