Ladies! Do you want to look younger? Forget green tea moisturizers and cucumber face masks and exfoliating gloves! Don’t waste your hard-earned stolen-from-men money on $200 Clarisonic Skincare Brushes or Botox or Shiseido Benefiance Pure Retinol Instant Treatment Eye Masks, whatever those are. Pickup guru Krauser, of Krauser’s PUA Adventures, offers four simple rules to help you look your best!
1) Don’t live past the age of 30!
Women possess a short fragile bloom of youth. From about age fifteen their body begins to take on a woman’s shape but it takes time for her to grow into it – to lose the puppy fat, have her hips widen, and develop the poise of a real woman – so she is kinda cute but not really able to inspire lust. Depending on the girl she’ll hit her true bloom somewhere near nineteen years old and hold it for a maximum of five years. She can continue to be sexy into her late twenties but the unmistakeable radiance diminishes.
2) Avoid “excessive careerism,” or, really, any job with any responsibilities at all:
Women are not designed to carry the weight of the world on their shoulders. Look at photos of Clint Eastwood or Charles Bronson. When a man carries responsibility he takes on a weathered look that adds value. A weathered woman looks horrible.
3) Don’t drink (at least more than is necessary to convince yourself to have sex with Krauser):
Men are constituionally far more capable of holding their beer over time than women. It’s not merely because a man’s physique is less important in determining his overall value. Women who drink even 10 units a week are seriously messing up their hormones, their shape, and their skin.
4) Don’t have sex with more than one penis!
“[G]ood girls” who follow a healthy lifestyle and identify with the feminine last longer than “bad girls” who chart a path through hedonistic waters. …
Sex in itself adds to a woman’s glow but sex with different men detracts from it. A woman who gets herself fucked 500 times by one guy she loves will look good. If the same woman spreads those fucks across 30 guys she will look like shit.
Let’s do the math here:
One penis x 500 fuckings per penis =Youthful bloom!
30 penises x 16.67 fuckings per penis = Weathered crone look!
And remember, gals, once you’ve “squandered” your “bloom,” that’s it: “Once it’s gone, it’s gone forever.”
Happily, at least for Krauser’s readers, there is no similar aging effect from contact with multiple vaginas. Evidently, the more vaginas your penis touches, the better! At least I assume that’s the case. Why else would Krauser devote his entire life to teaching those with penises how to get these penises into as many vaginas as possible?
Sentence you think you write?
“Two other men approached me on the street in Boston, one wanting to know where a pet store was (yes really)”
That’s straight from a kidnapper’s handbook. Puke.
Yoda you think you still alive?
@Puella Sapiens:
See, that turns me off so much. To me acting offensively signifies either that this person is 100 percent innate asshole, which is just depressing, or if they are putting on an act for my benefit, they are not being themselves. I like someone best when he is just being completely honest and himself. Unfortunately, the tactics used by many PUAs and many of our own trolls here really do work on me in some way, though, just not a sexual one. I feel the need to prove myself to them in some way, either prove I am their equal or ‘better’ than them, which is just a pointless waste of time.
@Lowquacks:
Thank you.But I’m a fat cat! Everybody knows fat chicks, er cats, have zero sexual market value!
But I love my fat kitty and my thin kitty equally 😮
Also, I’m not someone who has been macked on a lot (at all), so I’m lacking experience here, but is there any tone of voice someone could use with the “five girlfriends” thing that doesn’t read as a self-deprecating sarcastic (verbally ironic?) “hey, ladies love me and how much of a love machine I am”? I can’t imagine anyway I’d read that as anything else, unless Dude In Question had been talking about being in poly things before or something.
Neither circumstance makes the line funny or attractive, really, but it seems less ridiculous/shitlordy in either circumstance.
Rutee: I don’t watch mainstream porn much, so I can’t comment on it, but rape culture in porn is *definitely* not a Japan-only problem. I do wish people would fucking label their rape fantasies, though.
Fatcat: I believe the thought process is that if a dude dresses in a feminine-ish way then he’s showing that he can look weird and still get laid and therefore women will be all over him because women love men that other women like.
DYOR: …huh?
Fatcat:
It’s not a turn-on for me either. I’ve tolerated it once or twice in potential suitors I found very appealing and reasonable otherwise, when it struck me as misguided but well-intentioned and was especially transparent. Even then, I didn’t end up seeing them for long. So I’m mainly just relaying a trend I’ve encountered elsewhere.
@ozymandias42 : OK, that makes sense… kind of. They put a lot of thought into this, don’t they?
I guess it’s good to read this stuff, to help avoid falling prey to these sorts in real life. I still don’t know why I read 14 pages of RooshV’s blog last night, though. My faith in humanity was pretty much at an all time low by page 14. I was especially fascinated by the fact that he apparently finds Danish and Icelandic women hideously ugly. Having met many women from these countries, I think it was probably something else that made him hate them.
Fatcat: That shit is fucking addictive. I’ve been reading Hooking Up Smart and Roissy for *years*. Just remember to take breaks and reaffirm your faith in humanity occasionally; when it stops being funny and you start believing them, go take a walk or hug a puppy. 🙂
He has a hate-on for the Danes/Icelanders? That’s interesting. I feel comforted knowing he would find me repellent.
ozymandias42: Thanks. Yeah, it sometimes gets to me, to be honest (I found myself getting upset when someone suggested I will get ‘too old’ for a relationship soon. I am 24), but the regulars on this blog do a pretty good job of reaffirming my faith, most of the time.
@ fatcat
Eh, honestly, I wouldn’t worry about aging out of relationships. These guys are full of shit. I still get hit on and asked out, and I’m nearly 40.
cloudiah: Yeah, he goes into this long description of their body types, bone structure and ‘flabby arms’. Apparently, Danish women want to make away his masculinity while Icelandic women are all slutty sluts. He really loves Polish women, though. I just find the notion of characterising a whole country in terms of type bizarre.
The proper response to ‘my other girlfriends’ is ‘OK, get their signatures on this permission slip before I agree to do anything with you or to you.’
Fatcat, Roosh doesn’t know his ass from a hole in the ground. I would take his words with not a grain of salt, but an entire salt lick.
Call me crazy, but I don’t think it’s Icelandic women’s looks that he has a problem with.
Just wanted to throw in that I read this blog for the first time last night and got stuck on it into the wee small hours … and now I’m back to say the articles and comments are awesome. Which is a word I rarely use, being one of those terribly OLD OLD women who’s over thirty. (Shameful, I know, using up oxygen the Manly Men need.) The regular commenters here are a delight to read. The MRA trolls, not. But then they’re only proving the point …
Thank goodness I’ve never been hit on by a PUA as far as I know … mind you I react unfavorably to any attempted flirting, so it’d be a matter of degree (“not interested” as distinct from “f*** off slimeball” sort of thing) anyway.
That Discworld crochet is beyond wonderful. 🙂 The Turtle Moves!
hellkell, CassandraSays: Thanks. I know that for the most part, but yeah, I’m a bit sensitive.
I wonder if these guys act the same way in real life as they do online, or if they do ocassionally show another side of themselves. It makes me wonder if a few guys I know in real life who sometimes say things that are a bit dodgy would go ‘all out’ if they were anonymous online. The entire issue of online anonymity and what people will say in aome situations as opposed to in other situations just fascinates me, really.
This is why any sign of that sort of attitude from a man irl and he’s history. I’m not willing to take the risk that the misogynistic attitudes that are slipping through the manners filter are just the tip of the iceberg.
Yeah, I have a hyper-paranoid misogynist filter. :/ Even mentioning that you like Reddit puts me on high alert. I feel kind of bad– there are perfectly nice Redditors, after all– but I’d feel so STUPID if I dated a PUA.
I feel like it can it can be especially hard to find out what someone’s real attitudes are in places like England or Switzerland, where the ‘manners filter’ is so strong, but maybe I’m just stereotyping. Be with someone when they’re really drunk, though, and you’ll almost always figure out who they really are. After I had a guy who seemed really nice and polite get really drunk and than rant about how the Lord of the Rings movies were feminist propaganda, I can realise ‘OK, maybe we don’t share all of the same values’.
As An Olds I feel qualified to say that a hyper-paranoid misogyny filter will serve you well. It’s a feature, not a bug.
How someone reacts to the word “feminist” is a good test. Also the Reddit thing, which is why I add a million little disclaimers about how Reddit is overwhelmingly horrible every time I mention it or something from it in conversation.
I don’t think that societies with a more strict code of manners do tend to help men hide misogyny better, actually. Not in my experience at least. The societies with a very strong focus on politeness that I’m most familiar with are the UK and Japan, and in both cases misogynists tend to be just as obvious as they are in the US. Getting a person drunk is always a good way to get at their true feelings about things, though.