When I think about contraception, my thoughts generally run to things like this:
“Is this condom on inside-out? Oh, crap.”
“I guess IUD’s aren’t necessarily a good idea for some women unless they like bleeding from their vagina every day for six months.”
“Has anyone ever actually used a female condom?”
Over on Complementarian Loners, an MRA-adjacent “relationship” blog written by a couple of Catholic converts, the bitter divorced dude who calls himself 7man has some more, well, advanced ideas about contraception. By “advanced” I mean, of course, “odd and terrible.”
He starts off with this proposition:
A man and a woman cannot develop a great relationship if contraception is part of it or if they met while she was using hormonal artificial birth control. REAL committed, trusting, exclusive sexual intercourse is essential.
Oh, it gets weirder from there:
Birth Control is a misnomer since this is her speaking through her body saying, “I control when I will give birth, not God, not a man.” It doesn’t require any respect for fertility since fertility is subverted. This puts the woman in the dominant position and she then determines when and under what conditions she will ACQUIRE his seed rather than being open to RECEIVE. (Is woman not a vessel?)
I’m pretty sure a woman is a person, dude.
Usually the contraception is done by the woman, it messes with her body; she blocks the ability to receive and the whole exercise becomes taking pleasure from the other. Of course, she can always lie about taking it or not taking it. This is in essence lying with the body. A man can lie too if he withholds his gift by vasectomy or by condom.
In his profile on the blog, 7man refers to his ex-wife as “BatShitCrazy” (apparently that’s just one word now), but I think she demonstrated some pretty clearheaded and rational thinking in getting herself away from a guy who can refer to his semen as a “gift” without giggling.
[I]t is women acting as succubi. And so the ultimate end of a failed attempt to block PROCREATION is abortion. After all, God surely did not do his part and create a soul for the life that she did not intend to receive, right? Does her hamster prevent God from fulfilling his part of creation? Not likely! …
I am left with the impression that subverting fertility may be just as much an abomination to God as is divorce.
I hope you mention that right up top in your Match.com profile, dude, because that’s the sort of shit women need to know right off the bat before they send you any misguided “winks.”
Oh, and apparently men and women can’t have good sex unless the man controls everything and the woman cannot leave:
Can men and women have what they so deeply desire (in a relationship) while withholding the central gift of self? Have Christians stopped to consider the word PROCREATION? We participate in the CREATION of God in our act of sexual intercourse. We assist in CREATION of a body, but God provides the soul. CREATION is intended to occur in conjunction with a COVENANT. Can intercourse be unitive if this element is totally removed from the act of marriage, in the one-flesh-union?
A COVENANT is an OATH, a BINDING and a COMMITMENT. This is more than a contract or a whim. The sublime pleasure of sexual intercourse cannot happen when such aspects are blocked. The kind of fulfilling sex that every person longs for and rarely experiences is also precluded when the woman endeavors to control the relationship. In order for her to feel the fullness of the union, she must be claimed in a COVENANT to one man PERMANENTLY.
I can only imagine Mr. 7man explaining all this very earnestly to his date as they munch on breadsticks at the local Olive Garden, after which the unfortunate woman excuses herself to go to the ladies room and, as soon as she is out of his eyesight, slips out the back door of the restaurant and literally runs the entire way home.
7man closes with this little puzzler:
[S]uccumbing to passionate desire is easier without the risk of pregnancy and therefore commitment is not essential prior to the parting of thighs. Does this ever turn out for the good?
Yes. Yes it does.
Je veux voir maintenant comment monsieur esclave va réagir si je parle en francais.
I like how all of the “I’m okay, you’re okay” language is coming from the fundamentalist catholics as strawmen. It’s almost as if they use their opposition to a strawman to prop up their own worldview without having to sincerely engage those who disagree.
Oh, right, that’s exactly how it is.
Slavey, considering that it’s coming from someone who preaches the Gospel According to Al Capone, I somehow doubt your little rant is gonna cut too deep.
A “jerk off toy” really? Wow.
I thought you all here were about ensuring people’s rights to freedom of expression
Nope. We’re here to mock misogyny. It’s right up there on the site’s header. You may want to read a bit before commenting.
We also mock stupid trolls a lot.
Oh yeah, you’re fair and unbiased, aren’t you?
I’m so very sorry that you have internalized all their hatred and shaming to the point where you accept their narrative that you’re a sinful person because you like to have sex.
Also, to the point where you describe yourself as “unclaimed.” ::shudder::
But what they’re doing puts them in charge.
MikeeUSA advocates forcing a rape victim to marry her rapist. Of course, the rapist must pay his victim’s father and cannot divorce his victim. Also, he can only get away with rape if his victim is an unmarried woman. If she’s married (I presume it has to be to a man), that’s a crime against her husband.
Well, ladysadie1, how do you think they view women? A fleshlight is a “vessel” that doesn’t argue, make demands, or ever, ever, ever say no.
Isn’t that exactly what the MRA’s are looking for?
Hmmm, as a single mom, I am a misogynist? Interesting… you might want to check out the definition of “tolerance” …
Plex… they view women as a holy vessel to be held, protected and cherished. We aren’t all as fortunate as that… Lots of women don’t even see themselves as having that value to a man…the just want to get fu**ed/ and feel empowered by being a receptacle for man’s seed. The idea here is that women are a valuable asset, to a man (superior in some ways) and women should be honored to be chosen.
Sadie, I don’t know whether or not you are a misogynist. But being a single mom doesn’t somehow make it impossible for you to hold misogynistic views.
And why do you think we should tolerate misogyny?
I misstated MikeeUSA’s position. Replace woman with tween girl.
I didn’t realize comparing women to hamsters was supposed to make them feel like valuable assets, superior to men in some ways. That is a very … interesting … interpretation, ladysadie1.
*Reads ladysadie1’s comments*
Haha, wow, that’s so much fail I don’t even know where to begin.
Okay, Sadie, I take it back. You are a misogynist. Thinking that women should be valued as sperm receptacles rather than people who get to make their own decisions about what’s best for them and their bodies is misogynistic, plain and simple.
sadie? A holy vessel to be held protected and cherished? You can read this blog for the dire caveats to their “cherishing” us.
And “whoring around”? There is nothing wrong with experiencing sexual pleasure. If a person finds that afterward they did not gain pleasure, they can adjust their behavior accordingly. Just like food is great and pleasurable, some might feel worse after gorging, and they need to reign it in, but there is no such thing as “whoring around”.
The acceptance of “equality” is the biggest FAIL. I am no misogynist…. I am a realist, and Christian… Women are created to serve, and be loved above all others beyond God. It is a fallacy to think that women are ABOVE God/s hierarchy or equal to Man. Nevermind that… even an Atheist can recognize that women have responded to the “50 shades of Grey” DRIVEL that turns them on and speaks to their inner desire to be protected, owned, dominated
Sorry for the delay in responding. 7man was unavailable to approve my comment so I waited.
No one I know wants to make any of this a “legal imperative”, possibly with the exception of abortion, but even that seems to be a bit of a lost cause at this point. 7man and I have never said anything of the sort, more to the point, yet you are taking the opportunity to display your own ignorance and bigotry. If a woman is free to choose, then she is also free to choose this type of submission to Her Man and God.
By the same token, we also don’t want to be forced to fund things that violate our moral code. I would imagine that since you are all for this kind of freedom of choice, you ought to be for the freedom of conscience to opt out of contributing to that which we believe is inherently evil.
The thing is, a lot of you seem to want us to STFU and can’t stand that we state our opinions. I am accused of coming and imposing in “your space” yet when have I done that? I left one comment (now two) on a post referring to 7man’s post and our beliefs.
Meanwhile, a few of you have come and posted previously on our blog completely unbidden and then complained that you were put in moderation once you’d stated your piece. Kind of a strange way of seeing things if you ask me.
And no, not joking at all about showing my comment to 7man before posting it. He also told me to include his response, so I did.
::brushes the dust from her feet::
Wait, is it backwards day? Why did no one tell me!
Sadie, I’m an atheist woman. I don’t care what you think you’re God’s hierarchy is, because I don’t think He exists. If you want to convince me, you’d better find a better justification for your misogyny.
And the fact that some women read BDSM porn and that some women playing the sub role in BDSM does NOT mean that all women want to be dominated by men in every area of life. It also does not mean that men and women aren’t equals. Try again.
Sadie, how can you be unclaimed?? If your religous, you’ve always belonged to God as his child. At the very least, you belong to you.
sadie, race “realists” are racists. What you need to understand is that even if men and women are inherently different, and women need to be second banana in a hierarchical relationship, there is fallout to this dynamic that can deny people’s humanity on both sides. This blog addresses abusers, and you would do well to not stick up for them. God doesn’t.
The most religious people I’ve known see clearly that different people have different capabilities, intellect, work ethics, etc. Go tour science labs, crime labs, and see the women who can contribute and do above millions of men that could not have passed the basic course to even think of entering in to their fields. Women doctors are superior in intellect to men that cannot grasp medical concepts. Would you refuse service from a woman doctor? There are women that have gone into space. How many men would not qualify for that? So “equality” means that even though women can surpass many men in many fields they are not denied entry due to vagina.
I saw a staunchly religious publication addressing the headship issue and telling husbands that ‘your wife might have a keener mind than you in finances, therefore it might be best for her to handle them’. You are basically looking for quick and easy answers and claiming those one dimensional oppressions come from God, and they don’t necessarily.
Also, women’s love for rescue/ control fantasy and fiction can be entirely based on culture, and it can be evidence to support what little power women have in society. Watch Pride and Prejudice. Look at how giddy the women are when the men are coming to town. That is explained in one scene, the women would DIE without companion, literally if their family members were dead. Also most people are giddy at the prospect of a soul mate, so combine those two factors and you’ve got quite a potent cocktail.
Again, this blog addresses abuse and you would be wise not to get on here claiming God supports the abusers,. He does not.
I take plenty of heat as a Single Mom, I just don’t think that I am Superior to a man…Be carefull, Y’all, your intolerance is showing!
Sadie, one single mom to another…how are the people here being intolerent?
sadie we are posting at the same time, please scroll back and read my post.
I know that you right wingers think you have great BOOM! baby with that intolerance line, but that’s just semantics. You’re claiming that no woman is superior in any way to any man, and that’s just silly. Would you let your ex husband operate on you ahead of a woman surgeon? No. Please go back and read my post that addresses headship from a religious stand point. Kinda sorta, I think.