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Complementarian Loner: Contraception “puts the woman in the dominant position and she then determines when and under what conditions she will ACQUIRE his seed.”

Old School birth control

When I think about contraception, my thoughts generally run to things like this:

“Is this condom on inside-out? Oh, crap.”

“I guess IUD’s aren’t necessarily a good idea for some women unless they like bleeding from their vagina every day for six months.”

“Has anyone ever actually used a female condom?”

Over on Complementarian Loners, an MRA-adjacent “relationship” blog written by a couple of Catholic converts, the bitter divorced dude who calls himself 7man has some more, well, advanced ideas about contraception. By “advanced” I mean, of course,  “odd and terrible.”

He starts off with this proposition:

A man and a woman cannot develop a great relationship if contraception is part of it or if they met while she was using hormonal artificial birth control. REAL committed, trusting, exclusive sexual intercourse is essential.

Oh, it gets weirder from there:

Birth Control is a misnomer since this is her speaking through her body saying, “I control when I will give birth, not God, not a man.” It doesn’t require any respect for fertility since fertility is subverted. This puts the woman in the dominant position and she then determines when and under what conditions she will ACQUIRE his seed rather than being open to RECEIVE. (Is woman not a vessel?)

I’m pretty sure a woman is a person, dude.

Usually the contraception is done by the woman, it messes with her body; she blocks the ability to receive and the whole exercise becomes taking pleasure from the other. Of course, she can always lie about taking it or not taking it. This is in essence lying with the body. A man can lie too if he withholds his gift by vasectomy or by condom.

In his profile on the blog, 7man refers to his ex-wife as “BatShitCrazy” (apparently that’s just one word now), but I think she demonstrated some pretty clearheaded and rational thinking in getting herself away from a guy who can refer to his semen as a “gift” without giggling.

[I]t is women acting as succubi. And so the ultimate end of a failed attempt to block PROCREATION is abortion. After all, God surely did not do his part and create a soul for the life that she did not intend to receive, right? Does her hamster prevent God from fulfilling his part of creation? Not likely! …

I am left with the impression that subverting fertility may be just as much an abomination to God as is divorce.

I hope you mention that right up top in your Match.com profile, dude, because that’s the sort of shit women need to know right off the bat before they send you any misguided “winks.”

Oh, and apparently men and women can’t have good sex unless the man controls everything and the woman cannot leave:

Can men and women have what they so deeply desire (in a relationship) while withholding the central gift of self? Have Christians stopped to consider the word PROCREATION? We participate in the CREATION of God in our act of sexual intercourse. We assist in CREATION of a body, but God provides the soul. CREATION is intended to occur in conjunction with a COVENANT. Can intercourse be unitive if this element is totally removed from the act of marriage, in the one-flesh-union?

A COVENANT is an OATH, a BINDING and a COMMITMENT. This is more than a contract or a whim. The sublime pleasure of sexual intercourse cannot happen when such aspects are blocked. The kind of fulfilling sex that every person longs for and rarely experiences is also precluded when the woman endeavors to control the relationship. In order for her to feel the fullness of the union, she must be claimed in a COVENANT to one man PERMANENTLY.

I can only imagine Mr. 7man explaining all this very earnestly to his date as they munch on breadsticks at the local Olive Garden, after which the unfortunate woman excuses herself to go to the ladies room and, as soon as she is out of his eyesight, slips out the back door of the restaurant and literally runs the entire way home.

7man closes with this little puzzler:

[S]uccumbing to passionate desire is easier without the risk of pregnancy and therefore commitment is not essential prior to the parting of thighs. Does this ever turn out for the good?

Yes. Yes it does.

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CassandraSays
CassandraSays
12 years ago

Though, to be fair, part of the fetish here seems to be the idea that female submission is both “natural” and required by God, so it’s not surprising that the CDD people react with such outrage to being told that it’s just a kink and they have no business imposing it on others. From that perspective, telling them that what they want isn’t mandated by God IS telling them that their fetish is bad and wrong, since it’s attacking an integral component of the fetish.

It’s the same problem you run into with Gor people, or Meller. Point out that it’s not universal and you ruin the illusion for people, and then they get mad at you.

katz
12 years ago

They give a nod to it way down the front page:

Whilst we recognise by its very nature this can be an erotic subject, we will keep this website as clean and wholesome as possible. However, we will not seek to deny the erotic nature of some CDD marriages as we believe it is a natural consequence of following God’s plan. After all, He created eroticism and sexuality to be enjoyed within the healthy, safe, and exclusive boundaries of marriage.

Clean and wholesome? *snort*

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
12 years ago

How many anti-feminist cliches can you fit in one piece of writing? Let’s find out!

http://www.christiandomesticdiscipline.com/the_single_girl.html

LOL “children of Murphy Brown”.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
12 years ago

This one sounds like Meller could have written it.

http://www.christiandomesticdiscipline.com/monster.html

“Early in her second marriage, the wife discovered that it is not how often to have sex or how to spend money that is the root of problems in marriage. Rather it is what to do about spanking the wife. Moreover, she candidly admitted, spankings from her husband really had to *hurt* because she was not naturally submissive.”

katz
12 years ago

These people really do think spanking is the universal solution.

When all you have is a paddle, everything looks like an ass.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
12 years ago

OK, you win. I’ll send your internet out tomorrow, along with a free paddle.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
12 years ago

In case anyone is now in need of brain bleach, I offer this antidote to the CDD awfulness.

http://www.headinjurytheater.com/article89.htm

A horror movie about a killer pinata filled with all the evil sucked out of a small town in ye olde days.

katz
12 years ago

Nooooo I am really not into D/s!

Seriously, I could make a huge list of other kinks I would try first.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
12 years ago

And now for some light relief – a horror movie tailor made for Manboobz.

http://www.headinjurytheater.com/article85.htm

(I would love to know why Steven King is so bad at writing screenplays, I really would.)

ShadetheDruid
ShadetheDruid
12 years ago

My favourite comment on that post (the “erotic” one) at CL’s blog so far:

Self-righteous busybodies are the bane of human existence.

Hahaha… *wipes tear*

7man
12 years ago

My prayer

I confess to almighty God and to you, my brothers and sisters, that I have greatly sinned, in my thoughts and in my words, in what I have done and in what I have failed to do, through my fault, through my fault, through my most grievous fault; therefore I ask blessed Mary ever-Virgin, all the Angels and Saints, and you, my brothers and sisters, to pray for me to the Lord our God.

pecunium
12 years ago

Ok… now confess those sins you think you have done to us, your brothers and sisters.

Ugh
Ugh
12 years ago

@7man

Seeing as your version of God believes it should be legal to sell your daughter into slavery, and legal for her new master to beat her, I really don’t see where He gets the nerve to say that WE have grievous faults.

Pam
Pam
12 years ago

So, reading through this stuff, I have a question…what if the wife doesn’t do anything that deserves “correction”? Does the husband just make stuff up to punish her for? If she wants to be spanked does she do something bad on purpose? Or are they just assuming that women are always in need of “correction” for something?

Wife not done anything lately that deserves correction? Maintenance Discipline to the rescue!!

Sharculese
Sharculese
12 years ago

@katz

more like ‘when all you are is an ass, everything looks like a paddle’

Kyrie
Kyrie
12 years ago

“Ok… now confess those sins you think you have done to us, your brothers and sisters.”

I agree. Saying “I confess” without confessing anything is pretty absurd.

pecunium
12 years ago

For me the question is the verb phrase, “get someone drunk”. It does imply active effort.

I know that I’m not going to be happy if someone works to make me drunk, I’ve got no problem with observing how some handles drink. I don’t mind the thought of taking them someplace where alcohol is served. I’ll even buy a round.

But the intent of making them drunk, so I can suss them out… that’s the line I think Plex is drawing, and I’m not comfortable with that idea. Good intentions, or not. Because intent is problematic.

pecunium
12 years ago

Crap, wrong thread for my last comment.

Kyrie: As a Catholic he has to have several things to gain absolution.

Awareness of his sin.
Sincere repentance.
Sincere desire to refrain from doing it again.

Reparations aren’t specifically necessary, but if one is confessing to the person one has wrongs, some effort in that vein is pretty much required for things which aren’t nominal. Telling people you desire to be forgiven for some vague thing… not the way it works.

I think this is theater. A chance to say, “I confessed my sins, and they refused to forgive me, as Christ said we must, yea, unto seventy times seven”. Well, if I knew what it was he was confessing, I could,but I don’t.

In any event, the last portion of the absolution still applies, “Go forth and sin no more.”

Pam
Pam
12 years ago

I think this is theater. A chance to say, “I confessed my sins, and they refused to forgive me, as Christ said we must, yea, unto seventy times seven”.

Passive-aggressiveness, not just for women anymore.

Shadow
Shadow
12 years ago

My prayer

Rub a dub dub, thanks fir the grub

It seemed just as pertinent to the conversation

Falconer
12 years ago

When I find myself driven to prayer, it always seems to be a situation in which the invocation Stercus, stercus, stercus, morituris sum is the best appropriate phrase.

Like when the Interstate hadn’t been salted, last January.

Falconer
12 years ago

I’ve probably just irritated Argenti, I’ve realized. Not gonna argue with him about the grammar, except to say it’s a phrase from Pratchett, it’s supposed to be bad Latin.

MorkaisChosen
MorkaisChosen
12 years ago

MORITURI NOLUMUS MORI

Polliwog
Polliwog
12 years ago

I would secretly hope that at some point he would be stern enough to just turn me over his knee and wear me out. Not because I was a freak and the thought of pain turned me on, NOT AT ALL. It was just because I was longing, aching, to feel his authority in some way.

I’m not sure if this is one of the funniest things I’ve ever read, or one of the saddest. “I’m not one of those weirdos who gets turned on by being spanked! Heavens, no! I just long to be span-I mean, I ache for the feeling of being sp-I mean, GOD DEMANDS YOU SPANK ME, OKAY?”

MorkaisChosen
MorkaisChosen
12 years ago

I may be spectacularly wrong again, but is it plausible that she’s getting off (yeah, she’s totally getting off there) on the power dynamic thing rather than the physical spanking itself?