When I think about contraception, my thoughts generally run to things like this:
“Is this condom on inside-out? Oh, crap.”
“I guess IUD’s aren’t necessarily a good idea for some women unless they like bleeding from their vagina every day for six months.”
“Has anyone ever actually used a female condom?”
Over on Complementarian Loners, an MRA-adjacent “relationship” blog written by a couple of Catholic converts, the bitter divorced dude who calls himself 7man has some more, well, advanced ideas about contraception. By “advanced” I mean, of course, “odd and terrible.”
He starts off with this proposition:
A man and a woman cannot develop a great relationship if contraception is part of it or if they met while she was using hormonal artificial birth control. REAL committed, trusting, exclusive sexual intercourse is essential.
Oh, it gets weirder from there:
Birth Control is a misnomer since this is her speaking through her body saying, “I control when I will give birth, not God, not a man.” It doesn’t require any respect for fertility since fertility is subverted. This puts the woman in the dominant position and she then determines when and under what conditions she will ACQUIRE his seed rather than being open to RECEIVE. (Is woman not a vessel?)
I’m pretty sure a woman is a person, dude.
Usually the contraception is done by the woman, it messes with her body; she blocks the ability to receive and the whole exercise becomes taking pleasure from the other. Of course, she can always lie about taking it or not taking it. This is in essence lying with the body. A man can lie too if he withholds his gift by vasectomy or by condom.
In his profile on the blog, 7man refers to his ex-wife as “BatShitCrazy” (apparently that’s just one word now), but I think she demonstrated some pretty clearheaded and rational thinking in getting herself away from a guy who can refer to his semen as a “gift” without giggling.
[I]t is women acting as succubi. And so the ultimate end of a failed attempt to block PROCREATION is abortion. After all, God surely did not do his part and create a soul for the life that she did not intend to receive, right? Does her hamster prevent God from fulfilling his part of creation? Not likely! …
I am left with the impression that subverting fertility may be just as much an abomination to God as is divorce.
I hope you mention that right up top in your Match.com profile, dude, because that’s the sort of shit women need to know right off the bat before they send you any misguided “winks.”
Oh, and apparently men and women can’t have good sex unless the man controls everything and the woman cannot leave:
Can men and women have what they so deeply desire (in a relationship) while withholding the central gift of self? Have Christians stopped to consider the word PROCREATION? We participate in the CREATION of God in our act of sexual intercourse. We assist in CREATION of a body, but God provides the soul. CREATION is intended to occur in conjunction with a COVENANT. Can intercourse be unitive if this element is totally removed from the act of marriage, in the one-flesh-union?
A COVENANT is an OATH, a BINDING and a COMMITMENT. This is more than a contract or a whim. The sublime pleasure of sexual intercourse cannot happen when such aspects are blocked. The kind of fulfilling sex that every person longs for and rarely experiences is also precluded when the woman endeavors to control the relationship. In order for her to feel the fullness of the union, she must be claimed in a COVENANT to one man PERMANENTLY.
I can only imagine Mr. 7man explaining all this very earnestly to his date as they munch on breadsticks at the local Olive Garden, after which the unfortunate woman excuses herself to go to the ladies room and, as soon as she is out of his eyesight, slips out the back door of the restaurant and literally runs the entire way home.
7man closes with this little puzzler:
[S]uccumbing to passionate desire is easier without the risk of pregnancy and therefore commitment is not essential prior to the parting of thighs. Does this ever turn out for the good?
Yes. Yes it does.
“The erotic nature of a spanking is obvious”? O.o
Artificial lube is proof that sex isn’t hot enough?
Oh, man, I <3 Lewis SO MUCH, but please don't take his advice on sex and gender.
I’m totally hearing that in Zap Brannigan’s voice.
Here it is: http://thenewcivilrightsmovement.com/chick-fil-a-because-its-only-free-speech-if-you-agree-with-homophobes/politics/2012/08/02/45471
In all seriousness, why do these people not understand that their sexual preferences are not universal? They have a kink, and that’s fine, but why do they keep insisting that everyone shares that exact kink, down to the smallest details? It’s really weird.
(I don’t find spanking remotely erotic. I’ll spank a partner if they want me to, but if we’re being honest I find the whole thing more silly than sexy. Anyone who wants to spank me can take a long walk off a short pier, because that idea is actively anti-erotic.)
LOL uh, yes it is. It is silly. And also kind of disturbing that you think your personal kink is universal.
@Pam: Gor, by way of C.S. Lewis.
*shudder*
ninja’d!!!
(Raises eyebrows at the comment Snowy quoted)
In context that’s not so much a silly idea as a really creepy idea.
hey hey guess what
I’ve been spanked regularly by straight men
AND I’M STILL A FEMINIST
I think that they understand that their sexual preferences aren’t universal, but believe that they ought to be, and not be strictly limited to the realm of sexual activity but be utilized in all areas of domestic life. Unless they are reigned in and disciplined by the morally perfect and superior male, females will ruin the world.
@Ithiliana: Yeah, and all packaged up as the proper, “Christian” way of being.
*puke*
Yes, it is silly, considering that it’s mostly men who are and have been in the highest positions of power and authority in the world. Perhaps it ain’t women who need to be spanked in order to make the world a better place. Is that really so silly?
@ Pam
It’s funny because although I’m an atheist I was raised Christian, and the Jesus that I grew up with would definitely Not Approve of people sharing the intimate moments that thrill them (CL telling us all about how she waited for her master to approve her comment before posting it) with random people on the internet. In fact, that versions of God and Jesus that I grew up with didn’t want to know anything about your sex life at all as long as whatever you were doing was within the context of a marriage, and most of the ministers I grew up around would not be pleased to see the stuff about obeying and submitting being interpreted as “tell everyone all about your spanking fetish and try to encourage them to play along at home”.
It’s certainly a unique interpretation of the text, and not in a good way.
From a comment in that linked boobery, I thought the point of using of “hir/hirs” was to be gender neutral? Not along the same vein as women->womyn?
Yeah, okay, I looked it up. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gender-neutral_pronoun
It’s not some radfem “can’t stand the word ‘he’ in ‘her’!!” sort of stuff. So ignorant.
@CassandraSays
I consider myself a Christian, and I find it repulsive how they preach their D/s fetishes as Christian precepts. And that one asshat who regularly comments there (and at Laura Grace Robins’ “Unmasking Feminism”, formerly “Full of Grace Seasoned with Salt”), David Collard, thinks that we are morally insane, though he never misses a chance to let everyone know how his wife still sucks his cock on a regular basis. Preaching to the masses à la Mark Driscoll.
@Pam And I couldn’t help but notice that David Collard is proud to announce publicly that his wife is well-lubricated but non-orgasmic, without thinking in any way that the latter issue is a problem.
CL:FWIW, I have arrived at my opinions through a lifetime of being a secular agnostic/atheist/heathen. My conclusions as far as they went at the time of my conversion just happened to match up pretty closely with Catholic thought on these matters and have since evolved into what they are now. Take it or leave it.
FWIW, I have come to mine from a lifetime of being a Roman Catholic, and from time spent in contemplation of taking Holy Orders.
I think, based on that, you misunderstand vast tracts of doctrine.
Take it or leave it.
CL:So you can choose to continue the juvenile mocking, or you can try to be rational adults interested in another point of view from which you might gain some understanding.
Physician, heal thyself.
Perhaps you might benefit from the parable of the bad servant, who had a master fotgive him an unpayable debt, and then turned to his debtor and refused to forgive a much lesser debt.
You, however, have not, so it seems, least tolerance in your heart; you are not like the good master, but rather the bad servant.
I am against any sex ed in schools and believe that is something that should be up to parents to teach their children. My views on government schools go further than that, but that is another discussion for another time.
Ignorance is bliss? That’s worked so well in the past.
Last I checked, Ephesians, Peter, Colossians, Titus, etc. were New Testament books.
Last I checked we did this dick-dance when sunshinemary came to talk about it. You know where that was (she linked to it in your blog; which you just whined we came to uninvited). We served it out then.
The NT rules are not contrary to the OT rules
Really… so you keep a kosher house? Because God Hates Shrimp
Oy vey. Wait, am I allowed to use that expression under the new covenant? I don’t serve you, so stop dictating what I should do.
You first sister. You came here to champion a post telling all women what they ought to do. Defend your positions, or accept that you are going to be seen as morally bankrupt, and more than a little dishonest.
If you are interested in our reasons for this, I suggest you read our blog.
Is that an invitation? Will we be allowed to speak freely?
ladiesadie:On the contrary, darlings, I am a professional writer. I also respect the opinion of others when they can back it up with facts. Your opinions are valid insofar as they are YOUR opinions. When you foist your egalitarian fantasies on those of us who recognize male authority and shave our legs, that’s where we differ.
I’m all aquiver. I mean a professional writer and all.
But if you bothered to read, you’d see that a significant amount of actual fact and argument has been presented (not the least of which by me, on page two), to which, in all your professional glory you have responded to with, “I don’t agree”.
I don’t give a damn how you raise your kids; they are a red-herring. What I care about is how you defend your views, and what persuasive arguments you have to convince me.
“I’m right, you’re wrong and you’re mean” ain’t gonna cut it.
Thoughtful remarks and honest, sincere discourse are the hallmarks of intelligence that you are dearly lacking.
Oi… </a href = Thoughtful remarks and honest, sincere discourse are the hallmarks of intelligence that you are dearly lacking.What the fuck was this, chopped liver?
ladiesadie: Sorry, I mangled the html (it’s been a long day)
Thoughtful remarks and honest, sincere discourse are the hallmarks of intelligence that you are dearly lacking.
Oi…What the fuck was this, chopped liver
@cloudiah
Why would it be a problem for him, after all, she’s only a woman.
He also says,
There couldn’t possibly be some other method of foreplay besides spanking…. y’know, perhaps one that may help her to have an orgasm.
David Collard is of the school of thought that it is proper for a woman to go from under the authority of her father to be placed under the authority of a husband. Women are not and should not be autonomous, they need to be under the authority of men.
I just thought I would juxtapose these two statements for fun and imply absolutely nothing through that juxtaposition.
I would like to note, though, that ladysadie1 made only one other comment in that bracketed ellipsis, and nothing therein could possibly be construed as support for, an apology for, or retraction of the first statement.
Wouldn’t you hate to be her editor? Imagine all the poor ellipses you would have to murder.
Once again I need to ask, in what way is it supposed to be godly to discuss your sex life in such explicit detail? Not only would every minister I know cringe in horror at the very thought, they’re also breaking the fundamental kink rule of not involving other people in your kink without their permission.
CL:. If he is willing to die for her, isn’t her submission a comparatively small sacrifice? I think so.
That’s a pretty big if, and based on faith in his virtue.
Tell you what… I went to Iraq. I got shot at. I’m proven to be willing to die for you (in a semi-abstract way, but still put to the test and not found wanting).
I’m a man. I’m a Roman Catholic (says so on my dog tags and everything).
Are you willing to submit to my authority? Are you at least willing to accept that, as a man, and a Roman Catholic I have more than you do?
If not, why not?
It’s not. They’re just appealing to one’s baser instincts in order to recruit converts to their lifestyle. But remember, we are the ones who are morally insane.