When I think about contraception, my thoughts generally run to things like this:
“Is this condom on inside-out? Oh, crap.”
“I guess IUD’s aren’t necessarily a good idea for some women unless they like bleeding from their vagina every day for six months.”
“Has anyone ever actually used a female condom?”
Over on Complementarian Loners, an MRA-adjacent “relationship” blog written by a couple of Catholic converts, the bitter divorced dude who calls himself 7man has some more, well, advanced ideas about contraception. By “advanced” I mean, of course, “odd and terrible.”
He starts off with this proposition:
A man and a woman cannot develop a great relationship if contraception is part of it or if they met while she was using hormonal artificial birth control. REAL committed, trusting, exclusive sexual intercourse is essential.
Oh, it gets weirder from there:
Birth Control is a misnomer since this is her speaking through her body saying, “I control when I will give birth, not God, not a man.” It doesn’t require any respect for fertility since fertility is subverted. This puts the woman in the dominant position and she then determines when and under what conditions she will ACQUIRE his seed rather than being open to RECEIVE. (Is woman not a vessel?)
I’m pretty sure a woman is a person, dude.
Usually the contraception is done by the woman, it messes with her body; she blocks the ability to receive and the whole exercise becomes taking pleasure from the other. Of course, she can always lie about taking it or not taking it. This is in essence lying with the body. A man can lie too if he withholds his gift by vasectomy or by condom.
In his profile on the blog, 7man refers to his ex-wife as “BatShitCrazy” (apparently that’s just one word now), but I think she demonstrated some pretty clearheaded and rational thinking in getting herself away from a guy who can refer to his semen as a “gift” without giggling.
[I]t is women acting as succubi. And so the ultimate end of a failed attempt to block PROCREATION is abortion. After all, God surely did not do his part and create a soul for the life that she did not intend to receive, right? Does her hamster prevent God from fulfilling his part of creation? Not likely! …
I am left with the impression that subverting fertility may be just as much an abomination to God as is divorce.
I hope you mention that right up top in your Match.com profile, dude, because that’s the sort of shit women need to know right off the bat before they send you any misguided “winks.”
Oh, and apparently men and women can’t have good sex unless the man controls everything and the woman cannot leave:
Can men and women have what they so deeply desire (in a relationship) while withholding the central gift of self? Have Christians stopped to consider the word PROCREATION? We participate in the CREATION of God in our act of sexual intercourse. We assist in CREATION of a body, but God provides the soul. CREATION is intended to occur in conjunction with a COVENANT. Can intercourse be unitive if this element is totally removed from the act of marriage, in the one-flesh-union?
A COVENANT is an OATH, a BINDING and a COMMITMENT. This is more than a contract or a whim. The sublime pleasure of sexual intercourse cannot happen when such aspects are blocked. The kind of fulfilling sex that every person longs for and rarely experiences is also precluded when the woman endeavors to control the relationship. In order for her to feel the fullness of the union, she must be claimed in a COVENANT to one man PERMANENTLY.
I can only imagine Mr. 7man explaining all this very earnestly to his date as they munch on breadsticks at the local Olive Garden, after which the unfortunate woman excuses herself to go to the ladies room and, as soon as she is out of his eyesight, slips out the back door of the restaurant and literally runs the entire way home.
7man closes with this little puzzler:
[S]uccumbing to passionate desire is easier without the risk of pregnancy and therefore commitment is not essential prior to the parting of thighs. Does this ever turn out for the good?
Yes. Yes it does.
Don’t forget the monster that pretends to be empty space.
The flumph shall always be the gold standard of silly D&D monsters.
I will now design a dungeon made entirely of mimic-type monsters.
You LOSE, adventurers! Mwahahaha.
(That’s from the era where being a GM meant being a dick and having an adversarial relationship with your players.)
Katz: I think the giant space hamsters might offer some competition in the silly monster category…
I’ll see your Flumph, and raise you a Flail Snail.
The giant space hamsters aren’t silly, they’re AWESOME, as is all of Spelljammer, for all eternity.
Or, a Duckbunny.
@CL
Nobody is dictating what you should do, you fool. What people are objecting to is your desire to dictate what other people should do.
If you two want to live in a D/s relationship that you justify to yourself by religious means (rather than just being grownups and admitting that D/s is your kink), then by all means carry on. When you start prosthelytizing, though, then you’re trying to impose your kink on other people, and that’s not OK.
I’m sorry for the sillyness but apparently I have 30 minutes left for The Secret World to patch because I’ve been unable to play for a week and a half and they just released an update with new missions.
Make that 1h30. Apparently 900 megs of patch is very slow to download today.
Let’s face it, we’re all listing monsters from that same article.
They had these in Dungeon Crawl Stone Soup for a while. Apparently, people whined about Fountains and Staircases attacking them, so they got patched out. RIP Door Mimics
Spelljammer is probably DnD’s second best setting, and if it had the same work put into it that Eberron has…
But then, I’ve been coming to the conclusion that the DnD fanbase as a whole doesn’t like nice things, so. XD
Damn I missed all the fun.
I seriously hope nobody who is a pro writer would abuse ellipses like sadie does. Yikes.
Join the club 🙁
Still trying to figure out where w’all keep saying that.
@Pam:
I think it’s a renegade persecution complex gone haywire. Not only does she think that we all think that having a wife subservient to a husband is always bad, but she thinks that we think she’s a terrible person for thinking that.
Add to that the strange “I’m gonna speak out against what I think is evil. If you criticize me then you must hate me and want to oppress me. You aren’t allowed to criticize my opinion even though that’s what I’m doing to you!” that folks seem to have these days… I forget where, but somebody literally said that the first ammendment means that everyone should be free to express there opinion without being criticized or mocked. O_O
Not somebody here, by the way, somebody out in the real world of all places.
@ kirby
Really? If you remember where you saw that I’d love to keep it on hand for use in the future. Sounds like a great way to demonstrate both “people are idiots” and “more civics classes might be a good idea”.
There is no such thing as a silly D&D monster. There is only the player who fails to grasp how awesome they all are.
::Clutches his Concordance of Arcane Space to his chest, rocks himself to sleep::
Oh, and I’d be sorry I missed all the fun, except I was off running a d20 Modern Star*Drive game.
BTW, did anyone else check out part 2 of the monster manual mockery? I think the killer purse is my favorite because it’s just so boring.
http://www.headinjurytheater.com/article95.htm
Seriously, no one talks shit about owlbears.
Haywire is right! That statement she made sounds more like the “communize the c*nt” crap that I read over at The Spearhead …. but yeah, we’re wrong for considering those manosphere voices “the enemy”.
That’s pretty messed up thinking on her part, to put it mildly. But then again, I think it’s pretty messed up to believe that the reason women were created was to serve men, and I find no Biblical support for this belief. I think it stems from the passage about Eve having been created to be “a help meet” for Adam, this having been conjoined to be “help-meet” or “helpmate”, where it actually means that she was created to be a help that is meet (suitable …. of the same species) for him.
@Kirby and CassandraSays: The “free to express opinion without being mocked” was I think somebody reference the Chick Fil A’s homophobic CEO–sort of “freedom of speech and religion means not mocking christian bigots”. I have this vague memory of seeing it while surfing blogs and such….lemme see if I can find it.
And awwwwwww, isn’t that sweet, they were talking about their little foray into manboobz territory in the comment section here
Submission and Obedience: An Erotic Necessity
(yep, certainly can’t have any eroticism without submission and obedience!!)
Seems that ladysadie1 was busy doing the chef boyardee thing whilst y’all were “shrieking” at her. Oh, the absolute shrillness of feminist voices, unlike their voices of truth and reason!