Recently, a nameless commenter here asked “What exactly is “rapey” about Pick Up Artistry?” The post below should help to answer that question.
Hey, fellas! Say you’ve applied some state of the art Pickup Artistry on some HB 10 (“hot babe 10”) and you’re about to add another notch to your “girls I’ve totally had sex with” belt – and she has the gall to tell you “no.” Should you be worried?
Pickup artist Roosh Valizedah (whom we were talking about just yesterday) says, er, no. Apparently “no” (when the word is uttered by a girl you are groping) is actually a variant of “yes.” Who knew?
While every feminist likes to repeat the phrase “No means no,” it depends on context. Here’s a guide:
“No” when you try to take off her jeans or shirt means… “You need to turn me on a lot more.”
“No” when you try to take off her bra means… “Try again in five minutes.”
“No” when you try to take off her panties means… “Don’t give up now!”
I find the only word that means no is “stop.” If you hear that word then she’ll be asking you to leave soon after.
So just filter out everything she says other than the word “stop” and you’ll be fine. Oh, and if she actually starts punching you, that’s also a clue that she doesn’t want to have sex with you.
For every rape accusation I’d want to know at what stage of undress the girl was at before the supposed rape happened. If she was completely naked until saying no, and got there voluntarily, then I’d be reluctant to charge the man with rape unless there were signs of violence.
Gals need to remember, Roosh explains, that once a man gets a boner he’s pretty much helpless. His innate biological drives require that he either have sex with you (if you’re willing) or rape you (if you are unwilling and remember to say “stop” as well as “no”).
Women need to understand that men aren’t robots who can suddenly stop at the drop of a dime with all that testosterone pumping through their system. Therefore it would be prudent for them not to enter situations where the average man can’t stop due to his innate weaknesses as an animal whose entire existence depends on him successfully mating.
If it gets to that point, Roosh advises the ladies, you should just try to enjoy the rape as best you can – like it’s some sort of carnival ride.
Every roller coaster has a point while chugging up that first hill where’s there’s no turning back and you just need to hang on for the ride. In other words, don’t let a man on your bed unless you’re trying to get it.
So, In Roosh’s world, woman who merely say “no” shouldn’t complain about being raped, and men are basically slavering beasts controlled by their penises. What a lovely view of the world!
Since when was ‘assertive’ synonymous with ‘jerk’, anyway?
Right. So, does that mean that every person who’s ever had a girlfriend and/or wife is a jerk? Or does it mean that women never marry people they actually like?
Like Nanasha said, ‘jerk’ behaviour is basically pushy macho aggression, which is a sign that someone is overcompensating for a lack of genuine self-confidence
Slight correction: Never marry or date people they actually like.
Actually, Cliff, *I’m* the one who makes the ” nice never works, do something else” argument. That ” something else” has taken many forms, none of them coercive. Although I have yet too read Roosh’s books, I am fairly appalled.
IANAL, but AFAIK it works like this:
1) This isn’t direct – ‘direct’ in this sense would be saying ‘go out and [commit crime] right now’. This advice goes more like ‘if you ever find yourself in [situation] I recommend [committing crime]’
2) U.S. courts are extremely reluctant to apply limits on speech content (from <a href = "http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Free_speech_zone"Wikipedia: “…U.S. court decisions [stipulate] that the government may regulate the time, place, and manner—but not content—of expression.”)
You might think this is a bad idea, but if we started criminalizing speech in this way, weird things might start to happen. For example, if the government decided to criminalize the possession of alcohol, then describing the process of fermentation would be a crime. Similarly, if it is illegal for teenagers to have sex, sex ed would be a crime, as would be high school biology class.
3) Giving bad advice is not generally a crime – special cases arise in areas where expertise is required and there is a ‘duty of care’ owed. For example, an engineer or an attourney can be found criminally liable for giving bad advice, but generally, it is also a crime to misrepresent oneself as a professional in these fields. Outside of those situations, one is not responsible for the actions of others, even if zie has influenced those actions.
There are probably other arguments, but as I said, IANAL.
Whoops. Turned that link into a regular pontifigurd.
Try this.
It means that women quite often are attracted to men who don’t treat them very well. And many men are the same way with women. You see, men like drama queens just as women like jerks. And I begrudgingly admit that I’ve been guilty of this. Drama and emotional instability is perversely kind of exciting and makes for a more stressful but more interesting relationship. For or better or worse, nice girls finish last too.
You really do hate all of humanity, don’t you OmNom? That must be a pretty depressing way of going through life.
I have hope, Noadi. Because even if humanity is all there is, this doesn’t imply that humanity is all there will be. 😉
However, this isn’t really about humanity as a whole and how I feel about *that*. I’m just pointing out the not-so-rosy reality of romantic relationships.
I think that, personally, if people like Nom focused half as much on their own personal relationships with others instead of making assumptions and blanket generalizations about EVERY OTHER RELATIONSHIP OUT THERE EVER, perhaps they would be far more fulfilled and happy in their relationships?
All I’m saying is that when you focus on how shitty everyone is, you’re pretty much guaranteed to think that everyone is shitty. If you focus on the good and keep yourself realistic and pragmatic about it, things seem better. Perception is a HUGE part of our experience.
So yeah, so sad so bad that some ladies like assholes and some gentlemen want harpies who stir up the drama pot. Why the hell does that matter to me if I’m not looking for EITHER of those situations in my personal relationship? People can be idiots- that’s their right to do so. But I have the power to decide who I do and do not want to be in a relationship with, and as far as I’m concerned, the people who don’t want to be with *me* are just a quick check on the “nope, not gonna happen” list and then I do the mature thing and MOVE ON.
Only creeps fixate on one person that they feel they must “own” or “have” and then continue to beat themselves against the wall of the other person’s disintrest until they either get a restraining order or a marriage proposal.
Welllll………Come the time when I’m ready for a relationship and/or I meet someone worthwhile, I’ll remember your advice.
But look at it this way: People make mistakes. And one of the areas in life where a LOT of people make BIG mistakes is relationships & sex. No matter how perfect or amazing someone you’re with seems at first, or even right now, shit happens. It often takes many relationships, and sometimes a few marriages, before people finally get it right. You can’t know what you’re getting into until you swallow your pride and get your feet wet.
Other common mistakes people make that have nothing to do with relationships and sex:
*Buying a money pit house that they can’t afford, have to declare bankruptcy, have house taken away
*Huge quantities of credit card debt (over 50% of Americans have more than 10,000 dollars in debt).
*Get a tattoo in an inconvenient place for a white-collar job
*Do something stupid as a young adult, get slapped with a felony- now you have to put that on every job application for the rest of your life.
*Driving Drunk and hitting someone or killing someone (or yourself)
*Basically anything that involves imbibing a controlled substance and then hurting yourself or others because of it
*Getting your stuff stolen or mugged from you because you were in the wrong place at the wrong time (or left it out in your car so that people could see it).
*Cutting yourself on accident or breaking a bone
*Getting suckered into spending money on some crappy item that looks like a good idea but is actually just a waste and you end up throwing it out or giving it away without ever using it.
*Spending years on a religious group or thought only to find out later that it was wrong for you and feeling like you were duped.
*Then you have all the myriad of ways you can fuck up your friendships, familial relations and other non-sexual, non-romantic relations with other human beings
ETC.
Sex and relationships are a tiny fraction of what makes a fully layered and vibrant life. But when you fixate on sex and relationships only, it’s pretty damn easy to see why you have trouble seeing this.
“women only like jerks” is not right..you probably “like” many kind of people. But jerks are the only one getting your pussies wet. Am I right ?
I must also add- making mistakes are not bad- there is no expectation for you to be perfect your entire life (with the unspoken idea that it’s Your Fault if anything goes bad because you made a bad choice). People make mistakes- that’s how they learn what does and does not work for them. I would much rather learn from my experiences than be blissfully unaware of the problems that I had encountered in the past and spend all my energy blaming the other person for everything that went wrong. Learning from bad experiences helps us to to do better in the future, and if you can’t see that- if you’re waiting on the One Perfect Experience, well, you’re probably going to be waiting a long time and end up feeling like you were sold a false bill of sale when all is said and done.
“Drama and emotional instability is perversely kind of exciting and makes for a more stressful but more interesting relationship. For or better or worse, nice girls finish last too.”
Also so true
I’ve had many relationships, all of them had their good parts and their bad. That’s part of life.. I’m on good terms with the majority of my exes though there are a couple jerks in my past (it happens, I’m not always good at reading people, especially if they are trying to hide their jerkness at first). The person I’m with right now is the right person for me at this point in my life, and hopefully for a long time to come, but the future can’t be predicted so maybe we’ll eventually drift apart or need different things in our lives at some point. That wouldn’t make the relationship a failure just that it’s changed. I’m not sure you understand that (though in this you are like many people), relationships that end haven’t necessarily failed. When you hurt the person you are with, or they hurt you, that is when the relationship has failed whether it has ended or not.
Nanasha: Aren’t relationships and sex part of what is being DISCUSSED ITT, no? If you wanna talk about something else, be my guest.
Noadi: With regard to your last sentence, that unfortunately has happened to me last time around(5 years ago). She hurt my feelings and made me very angry, but I don’t wish to go into it any further. It’s over and done with(thank gawd)
What absolute codswallop. I’m not a jerk, and I’ve never had any problems attracting women – in fact, I’m still on excellent terms with all my various girlfriends dating back about twenty years. Even though we split up, and sometimes not in the happiest circumstances – you know, the kind of thing that’s supposed to give me a longstanding hatred of them and women in general.
Only it doesn’t because I live in the real world and don’t subscribe to these silly, reductionist caricatures. More to the point, I actually talk to individual women instead of making sweeping generalisations about them.
In fact, I reckon there’s at least a passing possibility that the fact that I actually had intelligent conversations with them, listened to them and took an interest in their lives and preoccupations and feelings might actually have helped me get to have sex with them, though I realise this is a radical notion that some might have difficulty getting their heads around. (As is the notion that one can continue to have interesting and engaging conversations with former partners even though we last had sex two decades ago and won’t be doing so ever again).
It’s perfectly possible to be assertive without being a jerk with it: it just takes an ability to recognise the right balance between being confident and being overbearing. My wife (who’s pretty damn assertive herself) would never have married me if I’d been a meek little dormouse, but she also wouldn’t have touched me with the proverbial barge pole if I’d been “dominant” in the sense of showing absolutely no awareness of or interest in her feelings. But surely that’s plain common sense?
Hah, the real reasons why men marry bitches* :
1) the bitch is the one who aggressively nags him to marry her or allows herself to get pregnant to ensnare him
2) since she’s a bitch after all, there’ll be a lesser/lower likelihood of her cheating on him since her bitchiness will turn off other guys from chasing her or allowing themselves to be chased by her, if ever (but bitches are after all, as a general rule, anti-social, so the former is much more likely than the latter)
3) all that fiery energy makes her a spitfire in bed who’ll keep a man warm on a cold night (since sex drive is linked to violence drive through testosterone)
* this is the Western (Occidental) use of the term : Bitch = Scold ; the Eastern (Oriental) use of the term is the opposite: Bitch = Slut
I met my partner (BoyFantastic) online. When we first started talking, it’s because I’d been whining about being stuck in bed with flu. He made me a playlist of bands he thought I’d like and sent me it to cheer me up. A few months later we met up. I knew I liked him as a person, but didn’t know if I liked him. He met me off the coach and gave me a present*. It was a book I had mentioned in passing about a month before, as I had lost my copy in 2008 and it was out of print. He had found it and WRAPPED IT IN ROBOT WRAPPING PAPER.
We are still together, have never fought crossly with each other, and I moved 300 miles to live with him.
Yes, I can see how all women like jerks and never want to sex people who actually value them as human beings.
(*NOT a method to gain knicker-entry. He didn’t know if he like-liked me either. People can be nice to each other without expecting/deserving sexytimes)
And welcome to the Olympic coverage. Today we bring you to the contenders in the Tedium event, where Om nom seeks to beat Steelebutt and take home gold. Can he do it? Stay tuned.
aworldanonymous: I’m a bit late to the party (*shakes fist at timezones*), but agree with the others. Though i’m not sure how much value there is in one socially awkward person telling another “you’re doing good!” 😛
I don’t know about you, but this is why I like the internet: there’s distance and anonymity between me and other people so it makes me feel a bit more comfortable.
Though it’s not a cure as such, since Manboobz is pretty much the only place i’ve had the confidence to comment at before (and by “comment”, I mean “obsess over my comments for ages before posting because i’m worried about making myself look like an idiot, or offending someone” 😛 ). That’s more down to the environment and the people here than anything. It feels welcoming (well, at least if you aren’t a douchebag), and randomly awesome stuff happens.
Now if only real life was like that, then maybe i’d actually get out and meet people. I try not to worry about that too much though otherwise it gives me a sad.
Apparently this means I have never been in a relationship with a man… ever. Or they were special unicorns. You know why? They stopped… in the middle of it. Without any issues other than slight regret. Because someone was apporoaching and we didn’t want to get caught. Cause we could hear something falling down downstairs and were scared it was the baby brother knocking stuff over (it was the dog, phew!). Cause I knocked my head and getting me ice was more important than finishing off.
I never realize how “special” every man I’ve ever been with was… until I read MRAs.
It really is amazing how often MRAs tell me my marriage must not exist, because what we have is pretty much the opposite of how they think relationships should be. Yet MrB and I keep stubbornly existing and loving each other. Odd, that. Might almost imply that MRAs are full of shit and wouldn’t know a healthy relationship if one smacked them upside their collective heads.