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creepy douchebaggery kitties men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny PUA rhymes with roosh sex

Roosh: Who needs orgasms, anyway?

Cat is not impressed with your PUA bullshit.

Pickup gurus write a lot about how to (allegedly) get sex, or how they (allegedly) got sex, but almost nothing about sex itself. It’s pretty clear that a lot of PUAs are more interested in the psychological manipulations and power games inherent in “game,” or in adding another notch to their score, than they are in the actual sex that sometimes results from all their efforts.

It goes without saying that most PUAs have little interest in their partners’ pleasure. In a post with the title It Doesn’t Matter If She Orgasms Or Not, pickup guru Roosh explained that once upon a time,

I used to try to last as long as possible in bed. I wanted to make sure the girl got hers before I got mine, and the reason I did that was because I thought she would be attracted to me more and want to see me again.

But, Roosh being the asshole he is, even this minimal level of consideration – which he extended to his partners for his own selfish reasons – turned out to be too much for him to keep up:

Gradually I just stopped caring, and soon everything I did in bed was for my pleasure only. The only reason I’d delay orgasm is to make mine better, and I pretended I don’t hear her the first time she told me to drill slower or not to go so deep. I did whatever I wanted because I came to value my orgasm as sacred, and her pleasure as second to mine.

Given that sex with him in was likely not such a great treat to begin with, he found that being completely selfish didn’t actually make the girls he was with like him any less.

Girls didn’t want to fuck me more, they didn’t want to fuck me less. Not caring about their sexual pleasure had no effect on repeat calls and repeat sex.

No wonder PUAs are so obsessed with very young women – they’re less likely to have experienced good sex, and more likely to be willing to put up with bad simply because they don’t yet realize how good sex can get.

Back in 2008 when he wrote that post, Roosh’s main sexual worry was coming too quickly; these days it seems he has trouble coming at all. Now, there are plenty of reasons why guys can’t orgasm – health conditions, prescription medicine side effects, everyday anxieties, decreased sensitivity with age, and so on. Guys shouldn’t pressure themselves into coming on demand, or feel bad if they can’t.

But Roosh actually seems to feel good about his inability to orgasm – because he’s learned to use this bit of sexual dysfuction as a handy tool to manipulate his partners further:

Not being able to orgasm is one of the best ways to make a girl feel anxious and insecure. When I’m unable to come, which often happens with condoms (raw dog for life), I simply stop sex and say, “I’m not going to make it.” I can almost see her hamster spinning…

Is he not attracted to me anymore?

Is there something wrong with my vagina?

Should I give him a blowjob even though I don’t want to?

These are not the sorts of questions any straight man who’s not an utter creep wants his partner asking herself.

Roosh continues, gloating that his inability to orgasm

also shapes the power structure of the relationship. She knows that a man who doesn’t orgasm is more likely to stray to get that orgasm. As a result, she tests you less and does more things to win your favor.

Or she finds someone else who’s not a complete asshole, and moves on.

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aworldanonymous
9 years ago

My favourite term for masturbation is pocket pool.

Polliwog
Polliwog
9 years ago

Polish the pearl 🙂

A few years back, I was in Chicago, and one of the locals gave some friends and I an informative lecture about the Cloud Gate (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cloud_Gate), in which she used the phrase “polishing the bean” multiple times, to the great amusement of my inner 10-year-old. By the time she said, “Workers spent entire days polishing the bean, over and over! I’m sure they really wore themselves out!” I was damn near weeping with laughter.

Monsieur sans Nom
Monsieur sans Nom
9 years ago

Also, speaking of words we hate: “pussy” as a term for female genitalia. I have never been able to find it anything but completely goofy-sounding and unsexy. (Sadly, my partner loooooves that word, so, because I love him, I use it in sexy situations, but I still sort of sigh internally every single time.)

I can’t imagine a woman actually saying “my pussy” IRL except if she’s a stripper or hooker. I think ‘cooter’ is the best slang term for the vag.

ozymandias42
9 years ago

Cooter? *shudders*

I call my pussy my pussy, but then I’m not a woman, so I guess that explains it.

Dracula
Dracula
9 years ago

“Cooter” just makes me think of lice.

Monsieur sans Nom
Monsieur sans Nom
9 years ago

I hear plenty of straight women who use that word cuz they think it’s cutesy(sounds like “cooties”) and humorous.

aworldanonymous
9 years ago

Umm, I also like the black metal themed euphemisms for penis and vagina, as used in the phrase “I would like to put my clouded frost spire into your gates of attrition”.

DumbassApostrophe
DumbassApostrophe
9 years ago

Longtime lurker, first-time (I think) poster here to say that I think the easiest way to translate that into German is “über Geschmack lässt sich nicht streiten”. The time zone difference keeps me from commenting usually, but my €0.02 seems justified this time. *fades back in Teutonic shadows*

Kavette
Kavette
9 years ago

You have to be a stripper or a hooker to say my pussy? I’ve been married a long time and can’t imagine sexy time saying “please fuck my cooter”.

MRA’s imho are like this blog posts suggests just sexually inept.

It’s not so hard, play with each others bodies, enjoy each other, tell each other what you like. That’s sexy time.

Drilling into someone for x amount of minutes on the other hand screams of someone who has no idea how to give pleasure to themselves not to mention their partner. It does however scream of someone whose major sexual activity involves mainstream porn. Not judging that it’s just realistic.

Myself if I would name my number one turn on in bed would be rimming my husband. I really don’t care if this is too much information he has an incredibly beautiful ass. Sadly it seems Rossiey will never meet a woman who could orgasm by getting him off because he doesn’t care about what gets her off.

Sad that the internet’s #1 pickup artist tells his readers pretty much point blank that he sucks in bed and in the end really isn’t enjoying himself as much as he could. Rossiey my husband is awesome in the bedroom. I’ve orgasmed just by watching him play with himself. Must suck to be you.

scrapemind
9 years ago

It’s not like there’s some objective ranking of sexual acts with hand-holding at one end and noncon incestuous macrophiliac vore clopping at the other and anal sex has 42.7 Extreme Points while ass-to-mouth has 73.5, you know?

There is in FATAL, the worst RPG ever.

Speaking of how creepy the word panties is, did you know that one of Piers Anthony’s Xanth books is called The Color of Her Panties? I thought I’d either teach you that or dredge up your old memory of it, so that you could all shudder.

ozymandias42
9 years ago

Great. I’d just finished shuddering from the word “cooter.”

Kyrie
Kyrie
9 years ago

The regular expression would be “on ne discute pas des goûts et des couleurs”.

Nanasha
Nanasha
9 years ago

I, personally, feel very very insecure about my ability to orgasm from receiving oral sex. I’m a woman, and every woman I’ve ever talked to goes “RECEIVING ORAL SEX IS THE BEST YOU SHOULD LOVE IT” and pretty much every sex partner I’ve been with says “I WANNA MAKE YOU ORGASM WITH MY TONGUE” and I just get all stressed out and it’s really sensitive for like five seconds and then my clitoris goes dead and they might as well be licking my arm- I mean, pleasurable enough sensation, but I’m never getting anywhere with it.

Also, orgasming during sex was really hard for me. 99% of my sexual fantasies (no access to internet until late college, so no porn option for me) from childhood and young adulthood were non-consensual/rape/impregnation/tied up in a scientific sex facility/monstersex based fantasies. All of these fantasies clashed horribly when I tried to have loving, consensual sex with someone I had happy lovey feelings for.

It was actually easier to be with guys who didn’t care about my pleasure or didn’t want to give me oral sex, because then I didn’t have to deal with the fact that I was horribly insecure about those things too. When a guy was objectifying me, it was easier to believe that he actually found me attractive because the whole Nice Guy passive-aggressive nice-to-get-in-your-pants thing seems to end with the guy eventually letting you know how he actually finds you fat, ugly and thanks for the use of your vagina, now bye. And that idea just broke me far more than having some guy be a boorish lout and paw my body uncomfortably. But then again, when I was younger, I had this weird idea that those were the only two choices. Well, that and masturbation. Which is probably why I had no desire to have sex until I was 18, in a committed relationship with someone who wasn’t at all like the two “types” mentioned above, and even then still took a year to orgasm at all during sex or sexual play even though it felt good and I wanted it.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
9 years ago

Things we have learned this evening – Om Nom likes to deal with the fact that sex makes him uncomfortable by using the silliest, most childish terms he can think of. Truly, he deserves the company of the kind of woman who would say “fuck my cooter – tee hee!”.

Nanasha
Nanasha
9 years ago

PS: I like using the word “panny” to talk about panties. It’s probably a leave-over from my childhood because my mom has problems pronouncing “t”s or multi-syllable words (she still pronounces my sister’s name like a two syllable word instead of a three syllable word). My daughter is potty training (almost done, woo) and telling her to pull up pannies first just rolls off the tongue better than “underwear” or whatever.

I really hate the word pussy to describe vagina. I would rather use “cunt” to describe what’s between my legs, but I’d never use it around anyone other than my husband because people seem to find the word incredibly offensive, even if I’m not using it in an offensive way and only in reference to my genitals. Vagina sounds like a freaking car model or something you’d vacuum the floor with, and “twat” sounds too slangy and un-sexy.

And it took me a long time to desensitize myself to giggling every time I tried to say “cum” or “cock.”

Also, boobies. *giggle* I still think that is hilarious.

KingKal
KingKal
9 years ago

The more horrible PUA shit I read the more I’ve come to realize how utterly spot on that one episode of Bob’s Burgers was in skewering the entire philosophy:

“When you get into an elevator with a woman, press a higher number than her then make a big deal about it!”
“Push her in a lake”
“Be one of the tallest guys in the bar and brag about how long your buttcrack is!”
“NEVER make her pancakes: Force her to make YOU pancakes, in the middle of the night”

Sorka
Sorka
9 years ago

Meh, I have to read all of this second-hand (perhaps happily), as I was perma-banned from Roosh’s blog about a year ago for calling him a bearded lothario who refuses to perform oral sex on women (all true, but still).

ShadetheDruid
ShadetheDruid
9 years ago

Nanasha: I hate the word “pussy” too.

After about 50 million events of “hurr hurr pussy means both vagina and cat, so i’m going to refer to a cat as a pussy in really badly constructed innuendo” from other guys (mostly the guy I work with), now I just associate the word with its use by awful sexist people.

“Boobies” is funny though. I always get a giggle out of “penis” too for some reason. 😀

TheNatFantastic
9 years ago

I am seconding the preference for ‘cunt’. However, I wouldn’t use it in bed. This thread made me think about it and I pretty much only use the word ‘me’ (as in ‘inside me’ etc.). I use ‘cunt’ to my good friends, and ‘fanny’* to other people. Or vagina if I’m dealing with someone who is being sexist, because it seems to put them on edge. Sometimes I have to channel my inner Maude Lebowski.

When I was very little, my family referred to vaginas as ‘tuppences’. This is fairly common where I’m from, but it can also be a term of endearment, although not a common one. Using terms of endearment to strangers is the norm where I’m from (since I’ve moved away I get funny looks when I call bus drivers ‘love’ or ‘pet’), so ‘tuppence’ led to some incredibly aghast and indignant stares from TinyNat when I was called it by the family doctor.

In terms of words I can’t stand – macarons. Fuck macarons, I won’t even eat them because I hate that word so much. I actually get irrationally angry when I hear people say it.

(*the first time I heard my American aunty referring to a ‘fanny pack’ I nearly spontaneously combusted with laughter)

TheNatFantastic
9 years ago

@ShadeTheDruid

Butbutbut Mrs Slocombe! (My nana actually says things like that all the bloody time. English isn’t her first language though, and I don’t have the heart to tell her the other meaning)

For the non-UK based:

Jessay (@jessay)
9 years ago

Yeaaaahhh, last time a random hookup treated me like that (tbh I don’t do it very much specifically because I actually want to get something out of it if I’m gonna sleep with someone, and three minutes of jack rabbit thrusting is not what I’m looking for), I told him exactly how shitty he was in bed. He probably became an MRA after that because I can tell it was a blow to his ego. But let’s be real, he had no consideration for my feelings or what I wanted, and completely ignored my direction, so what consideration should I have for his illusion that he’s good in bed? It really did come down to the fact that the guy was young (early 20s) and wasn’t used to women who have had good sex telling him that what he was doing wasn’t working.

And uhh, his “pretending to not hear” thing is bordering on rapist territory. It really puts me off. What else is he pretending not to hear?

scrapemind
9 years ago

I’m not UK-based, but I know Are You Being Served? PBS (the Public Broadcasting Service) shows it to American audiences. This is your tax dollars at work, NWOslave! PBS mistook AYBS for something high-brow and classy because it is British. It’s a bit like Ozymandias and wanking.

Kakanian
Kakanian
9 years ago

>would like to add that in German it would be “In die Angelegenheiten des Neigunges, es gibt nicht Streit”

There’s actually a fixed phrase for it that goes: “Über Geschmack lässt sich nicht streiten”

Jessay (@jessay)
9 years ago

Ok, now that I’ve read the comments, glad I wasn’t the only one disturbed by that rapey stuff.

Also, ARE YOU BEING SERVED! We used to watch that like every day as kids.

And I hate the words pussy and panties myself. IDK, they are just the complete opposite of sexy to me. I listen to this podcast a lot where the guy likes to say pussy and just, eww, please stop. It’s the biggest annoyance about the podcast.

And relevant

starterlifesydney
starterlifesydney
9 years ago

I believe in American slang “fanny” means generically “bottom”. In Australian slang it means “pussy”, yay!

starterlifesydney
starterlifesydney
9 years ago

Hence fanny pack is known as a bum bag in Australia…..

kiki
kiki
9 years ago

I’m trying to popularise “jilling off” as the female equivalent of “jacking off”.

AbsintheDexterous
9 years ago

I don’t mind “pussy”, but I don’t prefer it either. I, too, use “cunt” to refer to my genitals. Sometimes I use “ladyparts” because I find it hilarious to say. “Cooter” bugs me, though I’ll put up with it. I can’t stand “twat”, it annoys the hell out of me. Although if anyone uses those terms to insult me, I just end up laughing at them. There’s nothing inherently wrong with genitals and most people like them or are neutral toward them.

I do have a female client who says the word “vagina” in such a way that it irritates me. I can’t quite figure out why, I think it’s the way she emphasizes saying it. *shudder* Those days, I wish I could just hang up on her, but I can’t, because it’s relevant to my job.

And I do find “panties” to be creepy in reference to women’s underwear, only because I think of “panties” as little girl’s underwear. I like “undies” or “underwear”, and if I’m being silly about it, “unmentionables”. My inner 12 year old will always snicker at “boobies” and “knockers”.

ShadetheDruid
ShadetheDruid
9 years ago

starterlifesydney: Same here in the UK on both counts, though I suppose it’s not surprising that the UK and Australia share slang terms.

kiki
kiki
9 years ago

As an Englishman, I’ll call a man a cunt, but only if he’s being a cunt (unlike in certain areas of Scotland, where they’ll call any old cunt a cunt, even if he’s a nice cunt). But I wouldn’t call a woman a cunt, because it seems instinctively misogynist, and I wouldn’t call a vagina a cunt, because it seems like kind of an unpleasant word for it.

kiki
kiki
9 years ago

(Obviously it’s not cool to use ‘cunt’ pejoratively, regardless of gender, and I try not to do it. But these are my instinctive reactions to the word FWIW.)

Dumbass Apostrophe
Dumbass Apostrophe
9 years ago

One of my favorite US-UK culture clash moments involves an American friend of mine trying to warn an English friend against sitting in a puddle on the London Underground. The American, trying to sound a bit precious, screamed at the top of his lungs “Don’t sit there! You’ll get your fanny wet!”

Neither party was aware that the word meant two different things depending on your side of the Atlantic. Hilarity. It ensued.

Monsieur sans Nom
Monsieur sans Nom
9 years ago

Things we have learned this evening – Om Nom likes to deal with the fact that sex makes him uncomfortable by using the silliest, most childish terms he can think of. Truly, he deserves the company of the kind of woman who would say “fuck my cooter – tee hee!”.

No.

Magical Laura (@_magical_laura)

“Dude, “wank” is at least as unisex as “fap,” given that “fap” is onomatopoeiac for male masturbation.”

Yeh…I will use wank or masturbate for men or women, but the only term I find sexy (as well as funny!) is ‘jerking off’, which I also use for men and women. My boyfriend hates it for women and prefers ‘fingering yourself’ (!!!) which makes me want to vomit.

Ugh
Ugh
9 years ago

What exactly is “rapey” about Pick Up Artistry?

-MSN

I pretended I don’t hear her the first time she told me to drill slower or not to go so deep.

There ya go.

starterlifesydney
starterlifesydney
9 years ago

I think fanny is a an awesome and not repulsive substitute for pussy 🙂

Magical Laura (@_magical_laura)

I hate nearly all words for vagina…’pussy’ is acceptable, but it still sticks when I try and say it! The word I generally use is ‘vag’, which I am comfy with, but it is very unsexy!

“I, personally, feel very very insecure about my ability to orgasm from receiving oral sex. I’m a woman, and every woman I’ve ever talked to goes “RECEIVING ORAL SEX IS THE BEST YOU SHOULD LOVE IT” and pretty much every sex partner I’ve been with says “I WANNA MAKE YOU ORGASM WITH MY TONGUE” and I just get all stressed out and it’s really sensitive for like five seconds and then my clitoris goes dead and they might as well be licking my arm- I mean, pleasurable enough sensation, but I’m never getting anywhere with it.”

Yes yes yes yes yes! I think I have come from oral sex about twice in my life, after literally half an hour of trying and trying on both our parts, and this pretty much sums up my experience as well.

Things that work:

My own hand
Partner’s hand SOMETIMES and only with constant adjustments
Wand vibrator 30 second orgasm way better but not ‘real’ orgasms like oral sex waaaah o_o

pecunium
9 years ago

blitzgal and Ozymandias42: You certainly do pick your battles wisely!

Says the guy who’s ranting about underwear.

Besides, why the fuck are you people whining about the word “panties”? It is a very sexy word and that’s probably why most women use it.

This is silly. It’s not a sexy word. It’s not even a sexy concept. It’s, at best, a sort of neutral word. The idea of “panties” you keep in your head might be sexy, but as a word it’s sort of infantile.

It’s likely a diminutive formation from either the British pants, or the American underpants. It’s not a pattern which has been used with mens’ undergarments. I don’t hate it, but I find it awkward and inelegant. I find itm because of that aspect of juvenalia, difficult to use; e.g. when a co-worker might care that her underwear has ridden up.

It’s not that she’s being in any way immodest, but, “your panties are showing” immediately calls to mind reproofs given to children, which seems inappropriate.

Magical Laura (@_magical_laura)

‘Fanny’ is a very childish word in my opinion, like everyone called a vulva a ‘fanny’ when I was five or six. Or ‘mini’, which is I think more acceptable… I don’t think I ever had a word for it =/ I knew ‘penis’ but I was never taught a word for vulva or vagina except ‘private parts’ I guess.

Magical Laura (@_magical_laura)

Also ‘knickers’ can totally mean thong (or ‘buttfloss’…urgh…) I love it, it covers male and female style briefs, string underwear and boxers for me 😀 ‘Panties’ I just get a visual of some terrifying sex offender saying it, but granted nobody says ‘panties’ over here so I am only exposed through creepy guys on films etc.

ShadetheDruid
ShadetheDruid
9 years ago

The idea of “panties” you keep in your head might be sexy – pecunium

No, my brain, that’s clearly the word “in”, not the word “on”.

Monster
Monster
9 years ago

“Panties” as a word for adult women’s underwear has made me cringe a little ever since I started hearing it used on tv etc. Panties sounds like something small children wear.
Then again, I’m in the UK and its all knickers and pants here…and knickers is pretty funny word.

Also, PUAs are crap in bed? Oh, is anyone suprised?

blitzgal
9 years ago

blitzgal and Ozymandias42: You certainly do pick your battles wisely!

Oh yes, the old, “you’re wasting your time on such trivial issues when there are much more important things you should focus on” concern trolling. Yawn.

scrapemind
9 years ago

I’ve never heard of mini as a word for vagina before, and I’ve watched a lot of British television, as I imagine is usual for the commenters here, and even British films, although they may not have used the word back when Britain still made films. Does it imply vaginas are small?

pecunium
9 years ago

For Russian we have, О вкусах не спорят (which looks a lot like the spanish, para gustos hay colores), though if one wanted to translate it, rather than use the language’s own aphorism, one has the closer, на вкус и на цвет товарищей нет “There are no friends in color or taste.”

For French I’d say, chacun à son goût

Sharculese
9 years ago

Yesh, ozymandias. I have heard such a phrase. Though I’d be highly impressed if you can translate it into ancient egyptian for me. I wonder why people use the latin translation of it rather than the greek……….:/

why are you such a fucking tryhard?

Falconer
Falconer
9 years ago

There is in FATAL, the worst RPG ever.

I’m going to start carrying around a picture of a Silence, so that whenever someone brings up that awful thing, I can look at the picture and instantly forget that the game was brought up.

… Wait, I think there’s a problem with this plan, but I can’t think what it is….

Speaking of how creepy the word panties is, did you know that one of Piers Anthony’s Xanth books is called The Color of Her Panties? I thought I’d either teach you that or dredge up your old memory of it, so that you could all shudder.

I started reading Xanthe when I was 17 or 18, so it wasn’t long before my taste developed to the point that I put it down. At the time, he was writing about kids my age dealing with their libidos, so it didn’t seem all that creepy to me. It was only later that I started to think, wait, how old is this guy?

And then I found Pratchett…. I’ve never looked back.

Magical Laura (@_magical_laura)

‘Mini’ is more of a children’s word, like ‘willy’ for penis.

Monsieur sans Nom
Monsieur sans Nom
9 years ago

Az ízlés, nem lehet vitás

MorkaisChosen
MorkaisChosen
9 years ago

I read my first Pratchett (Wyrd Sisters) aged about… nine or ten, I think.

A few years later I read it again, and pretty much went O_o as I realised what that running joke about the old duke’s great big hairy thing, which I had previously assumed to be minor and inconsequential silliness, was actually talking about.

Good times…