Pickup gurus write a lot about how to (allegedly) get sex, or how they (allegedly) got sex, but almost nothing about sex itself. It’s pretty clear that a lot of PUAs are more interested in the psychological manipulations and power games inherent in “game,” or in adding another notch to their score, than they are in the actual sex that sometimes results from all their efforts.
It goes without saying that most PUAs have little interest in their partners’ pleasure. In a post with the title It Doesn’t Matter If She Orgasms Or Not, pickup guru Roosh explained that once upon a time,
I used to try to last as long as possible in bed. I wanted to make sure the girl got hers before I got mine, and the reason I did that was because I thought she would be attracted to me more and want to see me again.
But, Roosh being the asshole he is, even this minimal level of consideration – which he extended to his partners for his own selfish reasons – turned out to be too much for him to keep up:
Gradually I just stopped caring, and soon everything I did in bed was for my pleasure only. The only reason I’d delay orgasm is to make mine better, and I pretended I don’t hear her the first time she told me to drill slower or not to go so deep. I did whatever I wanted because I came to value my orgasm as sacred, and her pleasure as second to mine.
Given that sex with him in was likely not such a great treat to begin with, he found that being completely selfish didn’t actually make the girls he was with like him any less.
Girls didn’t want to fuck me more, they didn’t want to fuck me less. Not caring about their sexual pleasure had no effect on repeat calls and repeat sex.
No wonder PUAs are so obsessed with very young women – they’re less likely to have experienced good sex, and more likely to be willing to put up with bad simply because they don’t yet realize how good sex can get.
Back in 2008 when he wrote that post, Roosh’s main sexual worry was coming too quickly; these days it seems he has trouble coming at all. Now, there are plenty of reasons why guys can’t orgasm – health conditions, prescription medicine side effects, everyday anxieties, decreased sensitivity with age, and so on. Guys shouldn’t pressure themselves into coming on demand, or feel bad if they can’t.
But Roosh actually seems to feel good about his inability to orgasm – because he’s learned to use this bit of sexual dysfuction as a handy tool to manipulate his partners further:
Not being able to orgasm is one of the best ways to make a girl feel anxious and insecure. When I’m unable to come, which often happens with condoms (raw dog for life), I simply stop sex and say, “I’m not going to make it.” I can almost see her hamster spinning…
Is he not attracted to me anymore?
Is there something wrong with my vagina?
Should I give him a blowjob even though I don’t want to?
These are not the sorts of questions any straight man who’s not an utter creep wants his partner asking herself.
Roosh continues, gloating that his inability to orgasm
also shapes the power structure of the relationship. She knows that a man who doesn’t orgasm is more likely to stray to get that orgasm. As a result, she tests you less and does more things to win your favor.
Or she finds someone else who’s not a complete asshole, and moves on.
TMI myself, but sometimes I don’t, and I think it may have to do with how tired I am at the time. If my mind’s not in the game, I think the neurotransmitters may have trouble releasing.
We tried to force it the first few times just by keeping on going, but I always knackered myself first.
Yes, yes I did.
Seriously, though, who refers to sex as drilling? Like, do you WANT me to treat your pee pee like a jackhammer? Because that sounds like no fun. I feel bad for people who have bad sex, but not when they’re terrible.
Right, exactly. I do think there IS something to the “greater likelihood of having to deal with an unplanned pregnancy” with some women, but certainly not all, and I don’t think it even fucking NEEDS to be an evo psych schtick. Saying that some women may abstain more because, babies, is basically the same as saying some women are more cautious than others, or that some women are more cautious in different ways than others. Which is something that anybody who knows women and has half decent observational skills could tell you.
But mostly I think it’s more that there is a reasonable likelihood that the woman won’t even really enjoy the sex all that much, and possibly will wind up with someone who does whatever the hell he wants, regardless of her consent.
It reminds me of the ROTK movie quote by Gimli:
“Certainty of death? Small chance of success? What are we waiting for? ”
Only I think for a lot of ladies it’s probably more like:
“Certainty of shitty sex? Possibility of getting raped? Uh, I’ll pass.”
The comment section over there is just as bad. Dchero said
Shit like this makes me really grateful to not be dating, so that I won’t have run ins with creeps like them.
Why did I go over there to read the whole post? And start to read the comments? WHY???
Cliff:
I think you nailed it. That is… disturbing.
The female “phyche”?
Phuche you.
It’s usually more a mix of confusion, anger, and resentful masturbation.
Regarding blitzgal “if we’re not gonna come anyway, then what’s the point?” and CliffPervocracy & Falconer speaking of their own experiences with sex that does not result in orgasm, i do think it’s worth pointing out that sometimes, sex can be lovely (and thus not pointless) even without orgasm for one or more partners. But i’m guessing that blitzgal was more speaking of ‘if the sex is going to be horrible for myriad reasons such as my partner(s) not caring how it feels for me…”
ICK MORE CREEPAZOIDS!
(And who says a woman who doesn’t orgasm through PIV with dude can’t get herself off all on her own, if she wishes??????????)
Um..when do Roosh or Heartiste not write out abuser and/or rapist fantasies?
Must take so much bravery to type them out anonymously on the net.
“(And who says a woman who doesn’t orgasm through PIV with dude can’t get herself off all on her own, if she wishes??????????)”
QFT.
Falconer: It’s ok, I didn’t need to sleep tonight anyway. *Watches the cat very closely* O.O
Seriously though, that was pretty freaky.
It is funny, I feel as though if guys can make a girl orgasm, repeatedly, they feel like a hotshot, they don’t want to know if a girl is faking…. however, if they don’t know, they don’t care. They just want to get off. BUT, what you gotta do is find that guy who wrks passed the finish line if he thinks you did not get all out of it, that he did. Those guys are awesome ! We should clone them!
“I used to try to last as long as possible in bed. I wanted to make sure the girl got hers before I got mine, and the reason I did that was because I thought she would be attracted to me more and want to see me again.”
That plan actually works pretty good when the guy is actually good enough in bed to pull it off. So, it didn’t work for him? Ok.
TEST
TEST
@Shade: I warned you, you fool! 😛
The comments just seem like a “whoever cares least about women wins!” race to the bottom.
“I don’t care if my girlfriend has an orgasm.”
“Oh yeah? Well, I don’t care if my girlfriend even feels anything!”
“You think you’re tough? I don’t care if my girlfriend hates it!”
“Get this, guys: I don’t care if my girlfriend even has sex with me!”
“…Whoa. Too far, man.. Too far.”
@Cliff … great, now I’m imagining a very perverse filking of the Four Yorkshiremen.
“Fap” is the ugliest world possible for masturbation. It makes me cringe every time I read it.
Everyone, Roosh V has confirmed that he’s a rapist on his blog.
Aw, crap, I forgot about the references to corporal punishment/child abuse in that sketch. Sorry, guize.
@Ozymandias — Huh. Is there a particular reason you don’t like that word? Not saying you can’t not like it, I’ve got no cringe reaction to it at all. Is there a word you’d prefer that maybe we could use instead? Obviously not “clop.”
Those of us who have been corrupted by the Sexy Losers comic strip before we figured out it was a bit problematic can never unlearn ‘fap’ as a term for masturbation, unfortunately. It fits so much with the sound… At least if it involves a penis (I believe the other onomatopea used by the strip was ‘schlick’).
I kind of like the fact that fap is a gender neutral term for self pleasure any one cap fap can’t they?
I thought “fap” was meant to describe the sound made when a guy masturbates, but yeah, now it’s become more gender neutral