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creepy douchebaggery kitties men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny PUA rhymes with roosh sex

Roosh: Who needs orgasms, anyway?

Cat is not impressed with your PUA bullshit.

Pickup gurus write a lot about how to (allegedly) get sex, or how they (allegedly) got sex, but almost nothing about sex itself. It’s pretty clear that a lot of PUAs are more interested in the psychological manipulations and power games inherent in “game,” or in adding another notch to their score, than they are in the actual sex that sometimes results from all their efforts.

It goes without saying that most PUAs have little interest in their partners’ pleasure. In a post with the title It Doesn’t Matter If She Orgasms Or Not, pickup guru Roosh explained that once upon a time,

I used to try to last as long as possible in bed. I wanted to make sure the girl got hers before I got mine, and the reason I did that was because I thought she would be attracted to me more and want to see me again.

But, Roosh being the asshole he is, even this minimal level of consideration – which he extended to his partners for his own selfish reasons – turned out to be too much for him to keep up:

Gradually I just stopped caring, and soon everything I did in bed was for my pleasure only. The only reason I’d delay orgasm is to make mine better, and I pretended I don’t hear her the first time she told me to drill slower or not to go so deep. I did whatever I wanted because I came to value my orgasm as sacred, and her pleasure as second to mine.

Given that sex with him in was likely not such a great treat to begin with, he found that being completely selfish didn’t actually make the girls he was with like him any less.

Girls didn’t want to fuck me more, they didn’t want to fuck me less. Not caring about their sexual pleasure had no effect on repeat calls and repeat sex.

No wonder PUAs are so obsessed with very young women – they’re less likely to have experienced good sex, and more likely to be willing to put up with bad simply because they don’t yet realize how good sex can get.

Back in 2008 when he wrote that post, Roosh’s main sexual worry was coming too quickly; these days it seems he has trouble coming at all. Now, there are plenty of reasons why guys can’t orgasm – health conditions, prescription medicine side effects, everyday anxieties, decreased sensitivity with age, and so on. Guys shouldn’t pressure themselves into coming on demand, or feel bad if they can’t.

But Roosh actually seems to feel good about his inability to orgasm – because he’s learned to use this bit of sexual dysfuction as a handy tool to manipulate his partners further:

Not being able to orgasm is one of the best ways to make a girl feel anxious and insecure. When I’m unable to come, which often happens with condoms (raw dog for life), I simply stop sex and say, “I’m not going to make it.” I can almost see her hamster spinning…

Is he not attracted to me anymore?

Is there something wrong with my vagina?

Should I give him a blowjob even though I don’t want to?

These are not the sorts of questions any straight man who’s not an utter creep wants his partner asking herself.

Roosh continues, gloating that his inability to orgasm

also shapes the power structure of the relationship. She knows that a man who doesn’t orgasm is more likely to stray to get that orgasm. As a result, she tests you less and does more things to win your favor.

Or she finds someone else who’s not a complete asshole, and moves on.

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ozymandias42
8 years ago

I like “cunt” but it offends people. 🙁 So pussy or vag it is.

Oral sex gives me unsatisfying orgasms; unfortunately, I keep dating people who really enjoy it and so I put up with it because it’s not unpleasant exactly and I like making them happy. I have to say, though, when I meet someone who really hates the taste, it makes me so happy.

I do remember one time when I was complaining about how unbalanced our sex life was to a then-partner and he was like “what do you mean? I ate you out for like half an hour yesterday.” Apparently it blew his mind to have it pointed out that that was *also for his pleasure*. 😛

eline
eline
8 years ago

I could translate it into ancient Egyptian, or middle Kemetian, but I don’t see any reason to do so for some random internet asshat. And it would be an unpronounceable transliteration mess without the proper hieroglyphic font, anyway.

And does someone seriously use “cooter” referring to their genitals? As in their own?

whataboutthemoonz
8 years ago

” My boyfriend hates it for women and prefers ‘fingering yourself’ ”

What does he propose for women who masturbate WITHOUT fingering themselves?

Polliwog
Polliwog
8 years ago

Speaking of how creepy the word panties is, did you know that one of Piers Anthony’s Xanth books is called The Color of Her Panties? I thought I’d either teach you that or dredge up your old memory of it, so that you could all shudder.

When I was about 11, my parents confiscated that book, and I was very indignant and convinced that they were being super-unfair.

By the time I was around 14, I decided maybe they had a point. I think what made the difference was getting to be about the same age as all the nubile, frequently-topless-for-no-adequately-explained-reason underage girls with whom Anthony populates his novels and realizing that he was talking about girls like ME and ew ew ew ew ew ew.

Dracula
Dracula
8 years ago

I like “cunt” but it offends people. 🙁

That’s precisely my problem. I like the sound of it, and I think it’s a perfectly good word for the anatomy in question. So it frustrates me that it’s also a vicious insult.

I really enjoy giving oral sex, personally. But if someone doesn’t want me to eat them out it’s not exactly a dealbreaker.

blitzgal
8 years ago

What does he propose for women who masturbate WITHOUT fingering themselves?

I guess we’re doing it wrong?

Anathema
Anathema
8 years ago

I bought a book by Piers Anthony once, but I never could really get into it. I tried reading it a couple of times, but I never could get past the first twenty or thirty pages before losing interest. Well, I say losing interest, but that’s not entirely fair, as it implies there was some sort of interest to lose, and the book never really caught my interest in the first place. I don’t know why it didn’t interest me. I don’t remember particularly disliking anything. (Come to that, I don’t even remember the title of the book, let alone what it was about. I only remember that it was by Piers Anthony because I’d heard other people say good things about him as a writer and I was determined to give him a try.)

It could be that the book I bought simply had a slow start. It could be that it simply wasn’t one of Anthony’s better books. It could be that it was a perfectly good book, but that it just wasn’t my thing. I’m not saying based on my experience here that it was necessarily a bad book or that Anthony was a bad writer. But given what so many people here are saying about Piers Anthony’s writing, maybe my inability to get into his work was all for the best.

Terry Pratchett, on the other hand, is a completely different story for me. I read The Amazing Maurice and his Educated Rodents when I was ten or eleven and loved it. It quickly became one of my favorite books. So years later, when browsing the library at my high school, I came across The Color of Magic, and read it largely because I recognized the author’s name. My school library only had the first two Discworld books, but with a lot of trips to Barnes and Noble, I made my way through all of the Discworld books during my remaining three years in high school. Since then, I’ve also turned my middle-school-aged brother into a Pratchett fan.

My dad’s decision to buy me The Amazing Maurice was one of the best gift decisions he ever made. I probably never would have picked the book up if it hadn’t been a Christmas present from him.

howardbann1ster
howardbann1ster
8 years ago

Envy!!! I read 20 or 30 Piers Anthony books before discovering that they were all not quite as interesting as they seemed when I was a teenager. And only then did I discover the wonders and delights of Terry Pratchett.

ostara321
ostara321
8 years ago

@Jessay, I think that Boy Meets World clip is EXACTLY where I got my idea of how underpants should be said. Loudly. Proudly. And with mock seriousness.

I love too how after everyone stated what they prefer to call underwear rather than “panties”, MSN has to then get all “well what are we SUPPOSED TO CALL THEM?” as if there were no other word in the world, and indeed, no word several other people hadn’t already provided on this very threat.

As to “how can PUA’s be rapey” dude, we answered that on the FIRST goddamn page. Seriously, keep up. When you’ve got someone blatantly admitting he “pretends not to hear” when his partner tells him to stop doing something, that’s straight up “rapey” behavior. And I don’t know really why I’m bothering to explain this, since I think it’s obvious to pretty much everyone here minus you and a few other trolls, but just because someone consents to one kind of sex, it doesn’t mean they consent to another and “pretending not to hear” (in not-horrible-person-speak, we call that IGNORING) his partner’s words of “stop” is straight up ignoring non-consent.

Falconer
Falconer
8 years ago

I read The Amazing Maurice and his Educated Rodents when I was ten or eleven and loved it. It quickly became one of my favorite books.

Wee lamb.

I read that when it came out. I was 22.

And not to shame anybody for being young or anything, but goddamn where’s my cane?

MKlein
MKlein
8 years ago

@Nanasha: have you considered that the sexual fantasies you describe could mean you have a sexual kink/fetish? There are guys out there who will role-play for you based on those scenarios if that helps you get off. For more information, look up Dan Savage and his column “Savage Love.” That helped and still helps me when it comes to figuring out my own kinks. There’s nothing wrong with you or your fantasies, and there are great partners out there who will explore them with you (probably including anyone you’re with now), if you talk to them about it.

MollyRen (@MollyRen)
8 years ago

@Nanasha: I have a similar uninspired reaction to oral sex, and I found this amazing piece by Clarisse Thorne called “A Unified Theory of Orgasm” that helped me a lot. You might find it speaks to you too: http://sexlovejoy.com/a-unifed-theory-of-orgasm-by-clarisse-thorn.html

Nanasha
Nanasha
8 years ago

@MKlein- That’s the thing- I’m married and in a relationship who would prefer to be monogamous…and he doesn’t really share most of my “things”… but I’m ok with that because most of those “things” are things that I can’t really do with a partner without feeling incredibly silly (I’m not going to have my partner pretend to be a tentacle monster, lol). And, true, it may be a kink/fetish, but it’s a kink/fetish based in fantasy and probably won’t translate very well to partner sex- so I really did have to re-train my sexual response when I started having sex with actual people.

@MollyRen- Thanks for the link- I read Clarisse’s blog a lot, and that’s a very good article- I guess that maybe it just goes to show how harmful dominant narratives of what should be “sexy fun” can be, even if they’re positive (like, “give your female partners oral sex so they will feel good”). I mean, it’s EASIER in some situations to be the one who never orgasms or even feels good if you feel that’s the “way it’s supposed to be” and you have an uncaring partner. But it’s certainly not as fun.

ShadetheDruid
ShadetheDruid
8 years ago

(I’m not going to have my partner pretend to be a tentacle monster, lol) – Nanasha

Hah, that’s just asking for gigglefits rather than actual sexytimes. 😛

thebewilderness
8 years ago

@aworldanonymous

I know this is off topic, but how did things turn out with that guy who was trying to discredit you by referencing a comment he saw on a radfem blog?

I just ignored him and he appears to have wandered off.

Saccharissa
Saccharissa
8 years ago

I think that, for me, the most unsexy word for a part of a woman’s anatomy is “tit”. A while ago, I was cuddling with a guy who, while trying to be sexy, told me he loved playing with my tits. Completely killed my ladyboner. So we had to stop the sexytiems. ‘Twas rather sad. 🙁

Also, I hear you, everyone who has said that they have trouble orgasming from oral sex. I have had some very pleasurable oral performed on me, and while I get aroused, I have never gotten off.

Saccharissa
Saccharissa
8 years ago

Oooh, also, before I forget: while we’re on the subject of British English vs. American English, here’s my favorite “two countries divided by a common language” story:

An American (male) friend of my aunt’s was working in London, and was having trouble with his slacks being too loose. He happened to mention this to a British coworker:

Friend: Do you know where I can buy suspenders? I need to get a pair.
Coworker: You need to buy a pair of SUSPENDERS? Why?
Friend: To keep my pants up, of course!

And thus the poor coworker was left with the image of my aunt’s friend wearing ladies’ underpants and a garter belt.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
8 years ago

I’m going to start carrying around a picture of a Silence, so that whenever someone brings up that awful thing, I can look at the picture and instantly forget that the game was brought up.

… Wait, I think there’s a problem with this plan, but I can’t think what it is….

Oh shit… Well, maybe oh shit…did I have a point here? *wanders off* (I wonder if that’d work, if the “SCP-055 is not” thing could work on the silence? The Doctor does seem to remember info about them, eg they are not a species…)

Lol at suspenders, the Doctor’s tend to make me giggle for that reason (wtf do y’all call those over there anyways?)

…I appear to have nothing on topic to say, my apologies.

Nanasha
Nanasha
8 years ago

@ShadetheDruid- Now I’m just thinking about the clip from “Ed Wood” where Bella Legosi is fighting with the paper mache octopus….

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

I think part of my issue with cooter is that it sounds too much like skeeter, which makes me think of a vagina filled with buzzing insects (there’s a COVERED IN BEES joke in there somewhere). Not very sexy, that, unless you have a very specialized fetish.

ABNOY
ABNOY
8 years ago

The reason why a majority of straight guys love the slang term “pussy” is because it brings to mind the animal CAT, and if you link that with the terms GIRL and/or WOMAN, then BOOOM! In case you didn’t know, for a majority of straight guys, CATWOMAN in particular and CATGIRLS in general
top the list of all time favorite fetish/fantasy females…

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catgirl
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CatGirl

“What exactly is “rapey” about Pick Up Artistry?

-MSN

I pretended I don’t hear her the first time she told me to drill slower or not to go so deep.

There ya go.”

And the feminists on this board apparently really are different from other women. Just imagine, women who actually DON’T LIKE CUNNINGLUS nor FAST & DEEP PENETRATION? Then what have Women’s Magazines etc. been saying all these many long years? The mind boggles!

“and ew ew ew ew ew ew.”

Again, with the rad fems’ demonization of heterosexual male sexuality! Oh well, if rad fems didn’t demonize straight men, they wouldn’t be rad fems in the first place…

pecunium
8 years ago

I’m trying to figure out why someone would thunk suspenders/a garter belt was being used to keep underwear from falling down.

That not how they work.

As to cooter it’s not right, there is a sense of harshness to it, which lacks the earthy punch of cunt, or twat. It’s not even got the quaint charm of words like quim, or quiff (but I don’t think nomless was right; he was stirring the pot. He’s gotten much more trollish in the past few days).

MorkaisChosen
MorkaisChosen
8 years ago

Pants means underwear over here.

pecunium
8 years ago

Morkai: I know that. But suspenders hold up stockings. They aren’t higher than one’s pants.

They don’t work that way. The belt is at/below the waistband of the underpants.

I can see it as a piece of embarrassment humor in a sitcom, but not in a real conversation, not unless someone has absolute zero familiarity with them,

Owllizard
Owllizard
8 years ago

I like cooter, its cute and its a name for a little turtle.

Ponkz
Ponkz
8 years ago

Off topic, but seeing as I know there’s Doctor Who fans here… This was just released the other day.

Sooo stoked! XD

Falconer
Falconer
8 years ago

Lol at suspenders, the Doctor’s tend to make me giggle for that reason (wtf do y’all call those over there anyways?)

I am not English, but I do believe they called them braces at one point. Tolkien says Bilbo wears them in The Hobbit, in one of the early scenes with Gandalf in the Shire.

I was mightily confused as to how Bilbo was blowing smoke rings with his thumb in his mouth….

Falconer
Falconer
8 years ago

@Ponkz: Doctor Who is never off-topic.

Neither is Gandalf. He is on-topic precisely when he means to be.

MorkaisChosen
MorkaisChosen
8 years ago

We also call tooth-adjustment braces braces, just to be confusing.

ShadetheDruid
ShadetheDruid
8 years ago

Ponkz: :O … *Brain asplode*

Magical Laura (@_magical_laura)

What does he propose for women who masturbate WITHOUT fingering themselves?

I guess we’re doing it wrong?

…err, no, just ‘masturbation’. I should have been more specific I guess…I’m pretty sure how women masturbate is one of the areas he is very open minded about, I don’t tend to fuck guys with hangups about female sexuality.

Magical Laura (@_magical_laura)

‘Belt and braces’ is a fun term for being extra prepared for eventualities (like your trousers falling down) 😀

drst
drst
8 years ago

Best euphemism for masturbation (US-centric):

Voting Republican.

(Because it’s such a self-serving action. First time I heard it was from Susan Jane Gilman in “Kiss My Tiara.”)

Falconer
Falconer
8 years ago

‘Belt and braces’ is a fun term for being extra prepared for eventualities (like your trousers falling down)

You’ll notice that about the only thing Batman’s utility belt isn’t good for, is holding up his tights.

Also? Just noticed in the Avengers movie, Captain America has a utility belt. What for? (See it here, if you can look past the caption.)

Falconer
Falconer
8 years ago

Voting Republican.

Wow, that’s a new one on me.

The phrase that leaps to my mind is, “Roughing up the suspect,” but that’s pretty violent. I tend to prefer, “rubbing one out,” although somehow it seems like it’s coded female to me.

scrapemind
8 years ago

‘Belt and braces’ is a fun term for being extra prepared for eventualities (like your trousers falling down)

“How can you trust a man who wears both a belt and suspenders? The man can’t even trust his own pants.”
— Frank, Once Upon a Time in the West

scrapemind
8 years ago

Best euphemism for masturbation (US-centric):

Voting Republican.

(Because it’s such a self-serving action. First time I heard it was from Susan Jane Gilman in “Kiss My Tiara.”)

I don’t understand how you could have possibly understood the innuendo. Also, I thought voting Republican was voting against one’s best interests.

pecunium
8 years ago

scrapemind: Not according to Jenna Jameson, who just endorsed Romney, saying, “Because when you are rich you want a republican in office.”

Reynardine
Reynardine
8 years ago

And next time they go to the grocery store, he just might wonder why she keeps lingering in the cucumber section.

Constance
Constance
8 years ago

I didn’t even know the “manosphere” or any formal “MRA” existed until recently. Since starting to lurk in their blogs, I’m apalled and amazed… frightened a bit, too… I’m glad I found your blog as a kind of “antidote.”

Like you, I have been struck by the utter joylessness of the sex these guys (purport to) experience. Daryush Valizadeh is perhaps the best / worst example. Clearly erotic pleasure (his own as well as his partners’) is not his agenda.

Because Mr. Valizadeh has made no attempt to keep his identity a secret, I am also struck by the hostility he is demonstrating toward his family, particularly his sister and mother (whom he purports to love). BTW, Mr. Valizadeh may have a U.S. passport, but his accent betrays his Iranian origins. I can’t help but wonder how much of his behavior is “acting out” against his cultural heritage as well.

BTW, I have male and female friends / ex-lovers who are compulsive seducers, but what drives them is a need to validate their own charm and loveability, not a need to humiliate or denigrate or exploit their partners.

Anyway, all very weird and scary stuff. Today’s equivalent I suppose of that Victorian pornographic classic, “My Secret Life.”

KittehServant
KittehServant
8 years ago

Way late on this thread, but for what it’s worth (ha) I just say ‘pants’ – no clash there, anything worn outside is trousers or jeans in my lingo. I can’t abide cunt or pussy, in fact I’ve never heard any slang for female genitals that didn’t sound like a put-down (and yeah, I hate the way ‘pussy’ or ‘pussycat’ can’t be used about a cat/kitten without getting some slimy twit sniggering about it). I just say labia or vulva … NOT vagina, it’s not the same thing at all. Ditto for men, I think penis is a much better word than something like cock. My beloved and I just say man-parts and woman-parts if we’re looking for silly euphemisms. Or barking dog for him … don’t ask, I dont’ remember how we arrived at that one! 😀

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