Sally Ride, the first American woman in space, died last week, as most of you no doubt know. On The Thinking Housewife, Laura Wood uses the occasion as an opportunity to bash lesbians, feminism, and Ride herself. Wood begins her most unusual eulogy by quoting Gloria Steinem, who once said of Ride:
“Millions of little girls are going to sit by their television sets and see they can be astronauts, heroes, explorers and scientists.”
Wood scoffs at the very notion, suggesting that
Steinem’s real point, in keeping with her intense dislike of women, was that women should want to be astronauts and there was something wrong with them if they didn’t.
So we’re off to a great start here. Wood then offers this patronizing assessment of Ride’s life – which nonetheless turns out to be the nicest thing she says about the legendary astronaut.
Ride, who had a warm, radiant smile and is said to have served ably in her two missions in space, died Monday at the age of 61.
After this bit of faint praise, Wood moves on to her main point: Ride was lesbian, and therefore a terrible person, so she’ll quickly be forgotten.
For all the fanfare that once surrounded it, Ride’s story will likely fade into history and her life ultimately inspire very few girls. This will be so not only because women do not excel at space science or the physical demands of space travel as men do but also because, as Ride’s obituary proved, she did not lead a full life. Ride was in a lesbian relationship with a childhood friend for 27 years.
Yep, apparently lesbians don’t live “full lives,” whatever that means. Are women only living “full lives” if they are filled up on at least a semi-regular basis with their husband’s penis?
Wood continues:
To her credit, Ride did not make her lesbianism public and was private about her personal life in general. Her sister and the woman with whom she had a relationship, Tam O’Shaughnessy, have released the information to the world and now Ride has the double distinction of being both the first woman and the first lesbian in space. O’Shaughnessy was Ride’s friend since the age of 12. Ride was briefly married to another astronaut, but they were divorced. So while Ride accomplished much in her career, thanks in part to the spirit of affirmative action, she seems to have never fully emerged from childhood.
Huh? Are lesbians inherently childish, or is Ride supposed to have been a perpetual “child” because she married her childhood friend?
Then Wood says one of the strangest things I’ve ever heard:
The only good reason for a normal woman to go through the grueling rigors of becoming an astronaut is that NASA is a great place to meet men.
Sorry, but I’ve got to pull out the Don Draper gif again: What?
Wood elaborates:
Ride’s life, however, does not even offer that slim hope to little girls, that wonderful compensation for dreary days in a control cabin. Ride flew into space but never experienced other thrills that are as great or far greater. She never gave a man such necessary and life-sustaining love that he was able to do great things, such as fly into space.
So apparently the real, true purpose of becoming a female astronaut isn’t to fly into space, but to inspire the dude you’ve married to fly into space?
She never looked up at the stars with her own children and encouraged their wonder. She did not pass on her love of space to a son or daughter or grandchild.
I guess inspiring girls around the world doesn’t count? (And I can only imagine that the thought of Ride now inspiring gay children strikes Wood with dread.)
Though she performed capably in her public position as a Role Model of the Century, Sally Ride’s example will likely be the exact opposite of what NASA and Gloria Steinem predicted. She will serve as a reminder of at least some of the very good reasons why women don’t want to be astronauts.
Because becoming an astronaut might make them lesbian?
The vast majority of women would sooner love an astronaut than be one. And given that most men are destined to perform inglorious jobs for most of their lives, women will come to see that the dream of conquering space rightly belongs to men.
A lot of men do crap jobs, so therefore only men should be astronauts? I can’t even pretend to understand the logic here.
Here’s Ride’s web site, and her official obituary.
Owly’s unique use of “ladette” remains hilarious to this Brit.
The big thing going around now is “what if there’s sex in space?” As a means of keeping women off of long term missions.
Because you know, at the rate its going the NASA program will have to break US law to give women austronauts birth control devices.
@Ruby: With the wooden spoon gripped tightly in her hand, she smacks the fingers of little girls reaching for the stars, and yells, “Back to the kitchen!!!”
Great comment–very evocative. I can just see this image as a pulp sf cover!
Sex in space sounds like an interesting challenge. If anyone manages to get pregnant in that environment I tip my hat to them.
@Kakanian and others: RE: Contact
They had nothing but her word that it actually worked
It’s been a long time, but wasn’t there a measurable period of seconds that the Earth/team/scientists could not account for — at the end, one is complaining that the Jodie Foster character thinks she was ‘gone for a long time when it was only “small number of seconds,” but then somebody (a woman? a wife? very long time) says something about but where was the ship for those X seconds.
It was one of those gotcha moments that you just gotta love.
“No officer with false teeth is allowed to perform oral sex in zero gravity.”
Aren’t you the one who’s always whinging on about “emotionalism” and the death of True Stoic Manliness? So who exactly is telling what to whom again?
This is interesting. I’m reading Captain America Man out of Time and Tony is showing Cap all the stuff he missed out on while he was a frozen Capsicle….anyway he’s telling Cap all about space travel and Cap says to Tony: ‘It’s society itself. The freedom of the people. ALL people regardless of their race or their gender. That’s what I can’t get enough of.’
Captain America is awesome. The not quite thinking housewife is not.
I’ve heard it’s either impossible or very uncomfortable to have sex in space. But I don’t remember the specific reasons why and also I think I read that on Cracked so idk if it’s true.
@CassandraSays: I feel that being a meek, submissive, traditional lady should probably involve less bossing other people around.
Quoted for so much awesome fucking truth.
*Solemnly wraps up one chocolate-covered internet to send to you via SPACE ROCKET*
Manboobz Space Party? Meet you all Houston for blastoff.
NWO probably thinks lady astronauts wear special sexy spacesuits that distract the male astronauts. Ones that are just a helmet and a bikini that says NASA.
Or in other words, a ‘sexy version’ that plague every women’s costume come Halloween time.
I knew there’d be a study back by pixels on a screen stating women weren’t just as good as men, but even better.
@ pillowinhell
“The reality is that women can counteract G-forces because their physiology makes them more tolerant of G-forces than men.
(G-forces push down on a body, they overcome the ability of the heart to pump oxygenated blood upward into the brain. Blood begins to pool in the lower extremities, while blood circulation to the head is reduced. When blood circulation to the head is sufficiently reduced, the oxygen supply to the brain becomes insufficient.)
Height, not strength or gender, is the most negative factor in a pilot’s ability to tolerate G stress. Because women have a smaller body mass the shorter distance between their heart and brain makes it easier for them to counteract the G-forces. Advances in centrifuge technology and training , special exercises, and newer G-suits are making marked improvement in aircrew G-tolerance.”
Methinks sex in space would be difficult because if you push against your partner in anyway, they’d just go drifting away from you. Seems like you’d need a small enough space to be able to brace against something. Or harnesses of some sort…which gets amusingly kinky pretty quick.
As for conceiving in space, I think some studies have been done with lab rats which suggest that a fetus not exposed to to gravity during gestation would have problems back on Earth.
Women still have to compete with each other. (Assuming this is true at all, he’s probably just talking about Space Camp having a girls’ session, anyway. You know Space Camp isn’t actual selection right? I was a little crushed too when I found out.)
I know we’re a hivemind and all that, but seriously, a class that’s open to maybe 30 women is not “just sign up and get slots” from the POV of the 31st woman.
I went to Space Camp when I was little!
…Somehow I am not actually in space. 🙁
I can think of some reasons:
Sex is very active, and spaceships can be cramped.
Problems with lube and condoms being used in zero gravity (especially lube, apparently liquids turn into little floaty bubbles…)
Someone accidentally hitting a control panel during coitus or sex fluids getting caught in machinery.
Shorter Thinking Housewife:
“Mars ain’t the kind of place to raise your kids
In fact it’s cold as hell
And there’s no one there to raise them if you did
And all this science I don’t understand”
I would guess that uterus-owning astronauts would take birth control full time while in space, if not to prevent a space conception then to avoid having to deal with a period in zero gravity.
(It wouldn’t be like the end of the world, I’m pretty sure tampons would work just the same, but it seems inconvenient.)
I seem to recall something about the blood flow required for erections being involved as well. I’m gonna go try to find where I read it.
Last year special girl only classes were implemented so women don’t have to compete.
Wait, they have “girl only” classes so “women” don’t have to compete? -_o
Hey NWO!
http://ami-rants.blogspot.ca/2012/07/httpracebending.html
I found the best book ever for you! 😀
Also, has anybody been keeping track of how many consecutive months this makes NWO’s trolling? -_O Cuz I think he either has passed or has a 2 year anniversary coming up, and that’s kinda frightening. Nonstop 24/7 trolling (more or less) for that long o_o
For a guy who rails about all the free time women get, NWO seems to have a lot. xD
So apparently there’s a Space Camp program for grown-ups.
http://www.spacecamp.com/adult
WANT.
Can you imagine if you bled through your tampon in space and then had little chunks of blood floating around? EEUUURGGH.
I imagine in zero gravity every thrust would send you spinning away from each other because of inertia…