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misogyny MRA oppressed men patriarchy white knights

Why do Men’s Rights Activists hate the heroes of the Aurora theater shooting?

Our old nemesis The Pigman — the MRA blogger and one half of the cartooning team responsible for atrocities like this — has some thoughts on the Aurora shootings, specifically on the men who lost their lives to protect their girlfriends from gunfire. Their heroism makes him angry, much like the fellows on The Spearhead we looked at the other day. Here’s his complaint:

How’s that for inequity? How’s that for disposability? These guys appear to have sacrificed themselves for these people primarily because of their sex.

Well, no, I think they sacrificed themselves for their girlfriends because they loved their girlfriends.

After all, where are the guys who jumped in front of their best mate, or their dad or brother? And above all, where are the women who died saving their boyfriends?

There were many heroes in the Aurora shooting. Jonathan Blunk, Matt McQuinn, and Alex Teves died protecting their girlfriends. Stephanie Davies risked her life to keep a friend shot in the neck from bleeding to death. Other acts of heroism had less storybook endings: Marcus Weaver tried to shield a female friend. He was wounded but lived; she died. Jennifer Seeger tried to drag a wounded victim to safety, but fled when the shooter returned.

But the Pigman is interested in none of this:

This isn’t heroism, this is male disposability at its worst and by praising it society is encouraging it.
Cheering these men’s actions is as reprehensible as it is stupid and discriminatory.

The heroes in Aurora acted quickly, and on instinct; they didn’t have time to stop to think. Is it possible that, in the cases of those men who tried to shield the women with them, gender socialization had something to do with what their instincts told them to do? Almost certainly.

But “male disposability” has nothing to do with it. We live in a society in which heroism, as an idea and as a cultural ideal, has been gendered male for thousands of years. In the stories we tell ourselves, the video games we play, the movies we watch (including The Dark Knight Rises) , the “hero with a thousand faces” is almost always male, and the damsel in distress is, well, almost always a damsel.

The Pigman ignores all this, instead attacking the three dead men as

foolish enough and unfortunate enough to fall for a lifetime of anti-male propaganda telling them to die for the nearest woman whenever the shit hits the fan.
Vaguely aware that he may have crossed a line here, the Pigman pauses for a moment:

I have no doubt that many are concerned with the feelings of the dead men’s survivors and wish I would just shut up.

But then he barrels ahead anyway:

But this is a simple case of “What you praise, you encourage,” and I for one think calling out those who encourage  men to waste their lives for people worth no more than themselves is more important than being “sensitive”. Die for a child if you must, die for some guy on the verge of finding a cure for cancer if you must – die for someone no better than you simply because you have been taught to and you are a fool.

Had these men died protecting male buddies, would The Pigman have applied this calculus of worthiness to the beneficiaries of their heroism? Would he have suggested that the dead men thought they were worth less than their friends? Of course not.

The three men didn’t do what they did because they thought they were worthless or disposable. They did what they did because they wanted to protect those they loved. Others in the theater, like Stephanie Davies, risked their lives for friends, or people they didn’t even know. There’s nothing foolish or “wasteful” about putting yourself on the line to protect others. In every major disaster, whether natural, or like this one man-made, ordinary people emerge as heroes precisely because they are willing to put the lives and safety of other people ahead of their own.

Do these real-life stories of heroism play out in gendered ways? Often times they do. Men may be more willing to risk their lives to protect their wives or girlfriends; mothers may be more willing to risk their lives to protect their children.

In real life crises, it’s hardly surprising that people sometimes act like characters in these stories we tell ourselves. If you want to change how people act, you need to change these stories.

MRAs like to pretend that men are the “disposable sex” but in their hearts they know that’s not true. They’re well aware, as are we all, that  our cultural narratives of heroism privilege and glorify men and put them at the center of almost every story. MRAs like The Pigman aren’t  interested in expan ding our cultural narratives of heroism to include female heroes — nor are they willing to even acknowledge that there are such things as female heroes in the real world. They certainly don’t want more stories, more games, more films featuring female protagonists.

Instead they’d rather wrap themselves in the mantle of victimhood, and attack real heroes like Jonathan Blunk, Matt McQuinn, and Alex Teves as “white knights” or “fools.”

How people react in a crises reveals a lot about them. How MRAs like The Pigman, and like the Spearhead commenters I quoted the other day reacted to the Aurora shootings has certainly revealed a lot about them, none of it good.

Unfortunately, attitudes like theirs aren’t confined to the fringe that is the manosphere.

After hearing the stories of Blunk, McQuinn, and Teves, the Wall Street Journal’s James Taranto tweeted “I hope the girls whose boyfriends died to save them were worthy of the sacrifice.”

After numerous readers responded to his remarks with outrage, Taranto offered an apology of sorts, along with an explanation that suggested he really didn’t understand why people were angry in the first place. When someone does something noble and heroic out of love, it’s not up to you to second guess their actions or their love. Taranto’s words not only dishonored “the the girls whose boyfriends died to save them;” it dishonored the heroes as well.

Like The Pigman, like the Spearhead commenters, Taranto has failed this test of his humanity.

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pillowinhell
12 years ago

“I hope the girls whose boyfriends died to save them were worthy of the sacrifice.”

Does anyone else here wonder if this is code for “I hope it takes these women a long, long time to get over the loss and it will be many years before they date again”?

Also, if society did not honor these mens deaths, what would MRAs say then? That is what disposability means, that not only do you make huge sacrifices on the behalf of others, but no one is going to care enough to notice. And its societies honoring of heroic (white) men that puts the lie to any supposed disposability.

Nobinayamu
Nobinayamu
12 years ago

They know that a single father of four died protecting his children, right?

Is that also an example of “male disposability” or should we encourage parents not to sacrifice for their children as well?

These fucking guys…

pillowinhell
12 years ago

I have a theory that MRAs hate these men so much because:

1) I think they truly fear that no one cares enough about them to make any sacrifice for them, let alone die for them.

2) If they stop to wonder who they might be willing to die for, few if any people spring to mind. Largely I think, because many of these men are emotionally or socially isolated from others.

3) MRAs tend to take the nyms of great heros and leaders but like the rest of us, rarely have the opportunity to be heroic or to show the superiority they believe they have.

4) For a variety of reasons, they just hate women that much.

garvan
garvan
12 years ago

In this episode of Manboobz, Futrelle demonstrates his ability to communicate with the dead.

“Well, no, I think they sacrificed themselves for their girlfriends because they loved their girlfriends.”

Damn. It’s a good thing that in addition to being a feminist advocate, he is a spiritual medium.

It’s not like these men were suffering under the oppressive misandrist social structure which demands that their deaths or else they will lose their “man”-hood status bestowed upon them by society.

Nah, it couldn’t be that.

They did it for love. Futrelle proved it for us.

Just like when Futrelle went back in time that one episode and laughed at the dudes dying on the Titantic.

The real reason why Leonardo DiCaprio died on the Titanic. Futrelle pushed him off of the driftwood Kate Winslet was on.

Why?

Title IX Legislation.

hellkell
hellkell
12 years ago

Yes, count me in as one who wished Pigman would shut up.

Do MRAs actually care abut anyone other than themselves? Would Pigman save his mother if they were in that situation? I’m starting to think not.

blitzgal
12 years ago

Why do Men’s Rights Activists hate the heroes of the Aurora theater shooting?

Because deep down, they know they’d be the guy who left his family behind and actually DROVE AWAY.

blitzgal
12 years ago

sthlivingincolor
12 years ago

The Taranto tweet was somewhat ambiguous until I read that he has a history of blaming feminism for everything he doesn’t like in a suspiciously MRA sort of way.

“[W]hile feminism and the sexual revolution have been great for high-status men like Krugman and Alter, and for those women who place a high value on professional careers, things have not worked out so well for those who are less privileged.”

http://www.washingtonmonthly.com/political-animal-a/2012_02/enslaved_by_freedom_and_equali035578.php

(Context was Taranto praising Rick Santorum for blaming feminism and contraception for out-of-wedlock pregnancies.)

ostara321
ostara321
12 years ago

So what have we seen so far from the MRA on the shooting?

MRAs sympathizing with the shooter, because he’s a white, college educated dude who didn’t have everything handed to him

MRAs adding insult to injury by saying shitty things about the girlfriends of the men who died

MRAs adding insult to injury by saying shitty things about the men who died protecting their girlfriends

MRAs making veiled threats that it’ll happen again if we ladies don’t put out for awkward white boys

MRAs making veiled threats that it’ll happen again if awkward white boys are ever allowed to fail at something ever again

You stay classy, guys.

blitzgal
12 years ago

The Taranto tweet was somewhat ambiguous until I read that he has a history of blaming feminism for everything he doesn’t like in a suspiciously MRA sort of way.

Having seen David’s earlier posts on the phenomenon of calling these men “suckers” and their girlfriends “sluts who will immediately move on to the next guy,” I just knew he was coming from the same Spearhead-ish place with that tweet.

Tenshi53
Tenshi53
12 years ago

If a woman was on the verge of discovering the cure for cancer, would a MRA take a bullet for her?

My guess is no. Because woman.

ithiliana
12 years ago

He’s making pigs look bad!

ostara321
ostara321
12 years ago

And a woman cure cancer? Psh. Like that’ll happen. /sarcasm

In all seriousness, though, I do wonder how it is they plan on determining if someone is on the verge of curing cancer? Do folks on the verge of curing cancer carry special verge of curing cancer cards? And how does one know they’re truly on the verge? I mean, someone could be at a place where they and their colleagues really think they’re damn close, but from what I understand, it’s a tricky thing (hence, no cure yet). What if you end up saving someone who’s really close, but their medicine winds up turning everyone into zombies?

Dude, you saved the guy who started the zombie apocalypse. Nice going.

ShadetheDruid
ShadetheDruid
12 years ago

Well obviously you need a time machine. So you better be on the look out for the guy who’s going to invent it just in case you need to save him so he can invent it, so you can then go see who invented what and who needs saving.. oh wait.

themisanthropicmuse
12 years ago

Well the pigman handle has it at least half right: He certainly is a pig.

The egocentric, professional victims of the world don’t fully understand a person’s drive to do something so profound for another for an altruistic reason so they distrust such motivations. Also, I think that they feel compelled to explain away other people’s altruistic actions. To justify to themselves that they aren’t really the shitheads people keep telling them they are they claim the rest of humanity shares their self-absorbed nature.

aworldanonymous
12 years ago

MRAs making veiled threats that it’ll happen again if we fillies don’t put out for awkward white colts

MRAs making veiled threats that it’ll happen again if awkward white colts are ever allowed to fail at something ever again

This is why I used to be an MRA, I thought that society was to blame for my own awkwardness. Then I actually started talking to girls at school, online, generally everywhere, and I realized “holy shit, the only person to blame for me being awkward is me”. To this day I’m working one step at a time towards reaching genuine self-improvement, instead of blaming everything else for my problems.

WordSpinner
WordSpinner
12 years ago

Gah… There will never be “a” cure for cancer any more than there will be “a” cure for infectious diseases. The best we can hope for is a treatment that “cures” most cases of a certain kind of cancer.

I’m remembering when my mom told my neighbors that I was going to be a biologist, they said, “Oh, you’ll be figuring out what causes cancer?”

1) We know what causes cancer–the buildup of mutations the lead to cells reproducing rapidly and increased DNA damage, which accelerates the cycle
2) This does not really help, except for preventative strategies, because it is really, really hard to come up with a treatment that kills cancer cells and not normal cells, because biologically they are very similar. This is why cancer treatments tend to be so rough.
3) The cure for cancer probably won’t come from any one lab. It will come from a group of people looking at cancer biology to come up with possible strategies (for example, targeting dividing cells or the growth of blood vessels), and then labs working on finding strategies for doing that in vitro, and then will come issues of large-scale manufacturing, dosage, and safety and effectiveness in vivo. And let me tell you, given the demographics of biology research, a lot of those people will be women.

TheNatFantastic
12 years ago

I can’t even begin to imagine what these women are going through having their partners die, let alone being vilified and tormented for something some dunce thinks they might do in the future maybe. I mean fuck, it’s just so unbelievably awful.

To take my mind off it I’d like to be a bit pedantic here and say that there’ll never be a cure for cancer, because all types are different. But if a researcher discovered a cure for some kind of “chick cancer” you can bet your arse the MRM would be bloody hunting them down.

TheNatFantastic
12 years ago

Ninjaed. *tips hat to WordSpinner*

ragefromthebasement
12 years ago

George Costanza isn’t a coward, he’s just establishing his non-disposability. Stop laughing, you misandrists!

filetofswedishfish
12 years ago

The “I hope she was worth it” tweet sort of makes my skin crawl. It’s said in a really sneering tone of voice in my head and ugh. I just don’t like it. And it’s just so shitty. Who decides if she was “worth” it? Taranto, I’m guessing, but if they had been about to split up, were they then no longer “worth” it? And ugh, on “worth”. They were *people*, of course they were *worth being saved*. It would have been just as true in reverse.

Also: WHY the fuck is he not sneering “I hope it was worth it” (shitty as that sounds) at the freaking shooter, or those who shipped him the weapons, or what the fuck ever? Holy crap is victim blaming/ victim focus deeply, deeply embedded.

Nikan
Nikan
12 years ago

Well, no, I think they sacrificed themselves for their girlfriends because they loved their girlfriends.

How could we ever know that?

cloudiah
12 years ago

Yeah, Taranto’s got a long history of being a total ass with MRA-like attitudes, even if he is (like most people) unaware of the existence of the MRM. And unlike Piggy, he has a substantial audience. Glad you mentioned his tweet, and his fauxpology. Anyone who would do something so publicly to add to the survivor’s guilt those people are already experiencing is a colossal failure as a human being.

Rutee Katreya
12 years ago

How could we ever know that?

…you realize we’re talking about people who died protecting loved ones, right?

RubyHypatia
RubyHypatia
12 years ago

Agreed, David.

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