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MRAs: The men who lost their lives protecting their girlfriends in the Aurora theater shooting were “suckers.”

Over on The Spearhead, the regulars are discussing the three young men who sacrificed their own lives to save their girlfriends in the chaos of the Aurora theater shootings.

Needless to say, many of them aren’t too keen on any act of heroism that might benefit a woman.

Here are the two highest-rated comments in the comment thread. (I have bolded some of the more egregious stuff.)

Young Guy writes:

Sacrifice was once expected of men and women, but it has only been expected of men since the social contract between men and women was torn up by feminists. Most women have been told their entire lives they can have it all, and their happiness is the most important thing in the universe, so most women hate the thought of having to give up anything or putting other people before themselves. Most relationships today are one-sided, so don’t be shocked when men shun marriage or take up pumping and dumping. That might sound harsh to some people, but most women did it to themselves.

Why should I give every ounce of my being for a woman when she is one bad mood away from tossing me onto the scrap heap? I have heard the horror stories from men who worked hard to provide for their families, only for it to mean nothing to their ungrateful ex-wives. I have seen men risk life and limb to protect women they loved, only to have the women in their lives leave them or forget about their sacrifices. It has been said men have obligations while women have options in our modern world, I and agree with that statement. Most women think the world is their oyster, and everyone should cater to them. Most men understand the world is a harsh place, and no one is going to give them the benefit of the doubt.

Most women have done an excellent job pissing away all the goodwill men had towards them. I look at women my age, and I realize almost none of them are relationship material. Their entitlement is through the roof. They almost never say “thank you.” They demand chivalry even though they think they should never have to return the favor. They have been told any man who stands up for himself is guilty of abuse. It really is too much to ask of most women to be pleasant, keep the house clean, take care of the kids, and realize a relationship isn’t the Disney fairy-tale which they have been brainwashed with since birth.

Nietzsche (presumably not the ghost of the real Nietzsche) is a bit more concise:

They saved their lives so the girlfriends can be screwing other dudes in several months time…….. probably much less. Heroism is a suckers game.

These two comments each got nearly two dozen upvotes, even though the thread is still young.

Some other highlights of the thread:

Peter South agrees with Nietzsche’s assessment, but expects the girlfriends to move on even more quickly:

These young women will don black for the rest of their lives to mourn and commemorate the passing of these great fallen heroes.

Well ok they’ll be twittering, texting and yakking on their “smart phones” within a week about other guys…

But I think we can all agree that men generally make great meat shields.

Phil, meanwhile, derides the heroes as “suckers.”

Those boyfriends were suckers. These men were living in the past. The boyfriends were living in the 1700′s while modern day American women are living in feminist 2012. Modern day American women don’t live by the old social contract. The problem is men like these three don’t understand. These women will find new boyfriends and move on with their lives. The three men are dead. Gone forever. They died believing is something that doesn’t exist. It is tragic and disgusting.

Eric adds:

the grrlz who survived are probably moving on to the next cock even as we speak. And I’ll bet the types of guys they’re moving on to won’t be the type who’d take a bullet for them either.

Meanwhile, the lowest-rated comment in the thread, with more than two dozen downvotes and only 6 upvotes, is a comment from Georice81 praising the heroes, which starts off with:

The Bible says that there is no Greater Love than when a man gives up his life so that another man may live. I believe in this no matter what anyone may say, MRA or Feminist.

What these men did was heroic and defines what a true man should be. It isn’t a question of being a white knight. It is a question of being a brave man and a true man at that.

I guess the Spearheaders are only fans of traditionalism when it benefits them personally.

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Wil
Wil
8 years ago

I am so glad you did this story, it has been on my mind sice the night it happend , and I was hoping somebody would put this out there., so thank you and I want to say one thing, back in 1996 I was beaten and stabbed eleven times , and lost one eye because I was and am a gay man and guess who came to my rescue ? straight white men ( so the called bullies of the feminist movement) , if it were not for them, I would be dead. . I will always stick up for straight men and am not one of those feminist flockers that other gay men support.

Fatman
Fatman
8 years ago

The statement, “These women will find new boyfriends and move on with their lives.” is presented as a bad thing. The commenters seem to think a person’s romantic life should end forever if they suffer the death of a partner. It seems like a very sad viewpoint to take.

princessbonbon
8 years ago

These women will find new boyfriends and move on with their lives.

Eventually yes-they will move on. Most people do not do what Queen Victoria did (and even then it was rumored she had a paramour in Mr. Brown after her beloved Alfred died) and spend the rest of their life in seclusion out of mourning their lost loved one.

Are they supposed to renounce romance love forever? I doubt that is what these men would want for their girlfriends.

Dani Alexis
Dani Alexis
8 years ago

Yet if these men had been called “suckers” by anyone else, MRAs would be yelling about misandry.

Naira
Naira
8 years ago

I was thinking similarly to princessbonbon and Fatman…since when is the grieving cycle a bad thing? I’m idly wondering what these MRAs would think of sati. I’ll file away the thought of how that discussion would go for future nightmares…yeesh.

Good for Georice81, though, in sticking to zir guns on believing that quotation and stating it against popular opinion. I’ve always been a fan of that one too.

themisanthropicmuse
8 years ago

Do these idiots realize that men aren’t the only ones to do that type of stuff? My sister used her body as a shield to protect her boyfriend from being stabbed a second time by a disturbed man who crashed her friend’s BBQ and attacked random people. Those people in the theater didn’t risk their lives out of a sense of obligation but a sense of love… Not that I expect any of those Spearhead losers to understand the concept.

Cliff Pervocracy
8 years ago

Here’s a woman who risked her life to save another woman in the shooting: http://www.cnn.com/2012/07/23/us/colorado-theater-heroism-obama/index.html

Good people and bad people come in all genders, and crass sexual motivations have nothing to do with this.

Steele
Steele
8 years ago

Cliff et al, you’re even more deluded than I thought if you think this isn’t gendered. Obviously women can and are heroic, but it is very, very, very rare that you’ll see a reversal of the three examples presented here. Why? A combination of cultural and biological factors. Part of it- not all, but part- is indeed a culture that teaches men to put themselves last and to defend women at their own expense. Obviously these three are heroes. But there are also some larger facts behind it.

I’m sorry if that interferes with your male privilege fetish/misandrist/male Original Sin apple cart.

Dani Alexis
Dani Alexis
8 years ago

Obviously women can and are heroic

I can pretty heroically. Today I’m putting up pints of green beans like a boss.

/silly

eline
eline
8 years ago

I think the girlfriends of these guys will never stop thinking about them, even if and when they do eventually find new partners. And that’s exactly how these guys most likely wanted it. You don’t sacrifice your own life so that your loved one would throw away his/her by mourning indefinitely. No, you sacrifice yourself so that the other may keep living, and that means doing all those things that make life worth living. You sacrifice your own life because you love someone and want them to live a long, happy life. Else you would be protecting them for the wrong reasons in the first place. It’s not an insult to a dead partner’s memory to find someone new, on the opposite. It means their sacrifice was not in vain. Or can mean, if someone is truly happy without a new relationship that is also ok. But what does make it an insult to the dead person is to waste one’s life living it unhappily.

Naira
Naira
8 years ago

“a culture that teaches men to put themselves last and to defend women at their own expense.”

Funny, I thought it was feminism trying to deconstruct the gender norms such that people aren’t socialized to such radically different sets of character traits and trying to highlight the genderlessness of all sorts of qualities, both good and bad.

I must’ve dreamed it or something. /sarcasm

Viscaria
Viscaria
8 years ago

I can’t imagine how hurtful it would be to lose a loved one, and then run into one of these MRM posts that minimizes and dismisses the sacrifice that they made.

Little Mousling (@LittleMousling)

Reportedly there was a guy in the theatre who left his baby and not only fled but DROVE AWAY, while his girlfriend saved both both of her kids despite a broken leg (arm? Something broken, anyway). I wonder if these dudes would say he made the right call?

eline
eline
8 years ago

I must extend a thought in the previous post a little. “Protecting for the wrong reasons”, with that I refer exclusively to close relationships, friends and relatives. There’s a reason to protect total strangers, too, but I think it’s done with a different motive. I understand that few are willing to risk life for a stranger, and they don’t need to; lesser dedication is enough and smaller actions can still help. But I don’t think we can love someone and defend them while setting conditions for our protection. Such as a condition to devote a life to worship us if we die for them. Unless someone demanded you to give your life for them, you cannot make demands of them if you do choose to give your life for them.

Bea
Bea
8 years ago

You know what? Maybe there was some gendered socialization at play here, maybe something in these men’s actons did come from the idea that men are supposed to be heroes and protectors — but that doesn’t make it okay for these jerks to be calling them “suckers.” They were still humans, protecting their loved ones, and their actions were still admirable. It’s not cool to shit on their sacrifice.

No one should feel like they have to put their lives on the line for other people, but when someone chooses to do so, that needs to be respected. And yes, women can and do risk themselves to protect loved ones too.

And yeah, +1 to all the comments pointing out how unfair it is to expect the women whose boyfriends died for them to never move on and have other romantic relationships. I doubt the men who died for them would want them to give up living afterward. Yes, these women will probably date and possibly marry in the future. That is normal, and healthy. Right now, they are likely in a lot of pain. I certainly hope that, despite their grief, they will go on to live happy lives.

cloudiah
8 years ago

Does anyone need a kitten video?

Quackers
Quackers
8 years ago

I cant recall if it was this thread or somewhere else, but some MRAs don’t have much problem with sacrificing their lives for women ONLY if women renounce equality, feminism and admit their inferiority to men. Yep, women are only worth saving if we go back to being simpering domestic slaves. I think I’ll take my chances with my modern life thanks. When its time to go its time to go.

That being said, I was talking about this with my mom and she aluded that these heroic men’s actions should be the norm. I disagreed. Self sacrifice is nobel and should be treated as such, but it should not be a requirement just for men, especially in modern times. You can certainly argue against this idea that men must sacrifice and agree that cultural influences on masculinity do have these elements. The irony is that The Dark Knight Rises plays heavily on these themes (i don’t want to spoil it for those who have not seen it but it is nothing short of perfection) the downside is that boys and men watch these movies/read comics and might feel like they have to sacrife their lives for respect and love. The upside is that characters like Batman are worshipped and leaves girls and women thinking that their role is not hero, but passive loser that needs saving and who is not capable of saving anyone. I know as a fan of superhero movies and some comic series I feel this way sometimes.

So yeah, this certainly is a topic worth discussing, but since MRAs just want to play gender war I ask them this: what was the sex of the person that did the shooting in the first place?

Alpha Asshole Cock Carousel
Alpha Asshole Cock Carousel
8 years ago

Please, more kitten videos. Don’t forget puppehs

Naira
Naira
8 years ago

Cloudiah:

Have you ever seen a cat acting like it is all that and too cool to play? I’m wondering if is because they’re trying to live down the embarrassment of diving head-first into a camera as a kitten and other such cute, but ridiculous behavior.

I think that’s my new theory for feline “puh-LEEZ!” behavior.

grampmk
grampmk
8 years ago

These 3 men did what they thought to be the right thing. They should be applauded. They and their girlfriends and families deserve respect.

Quackers
Quackers
8 years ago

And before anyone mentions, yes I know there are female superheros, no most of them don’t feel believable when they prance around oozing sex appeal rather than intimidation.

cloudiah
8 years ago

Yes, puppies too (the music on this one is annoying, but the roly poly puppies make up for it):

nwoslave
8 years ago

Here’s an article on slate XX factor, what women really think, by the feminist darling, Hanna Rosin.

http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2012/07/23/aurora_dark_knight_shooting_the_men_protected_the_women.html

A few choice exerpts.

“On the Today show interview, Jansen Young, the girlfriend Blunk saved, mentioned that Jonathan was thinking about re-enlisting in the Navy. She attributed that to his undying heroism, but it may also have to do with the fact that he, like a few guys in the theater, was working at Target and surely not making enough money to support one family, much less two. Young, meanwhile, had just finished getting her veterinarian degree, becoming the latest in an onslaught of women who have taken over that lucrative profession, which was not very long ago dominated by men.”

“I’ve found a strained and touching effort to redefine the roles of men. They are often not the breadwinners because in that slice of America, women are often financially better off than the men. They are often not the steady fathers because couples don’t get married all that much anymore, and the women, if they are working themselves, see the men as just another mouth to feed. But one thing I find consistently is the enduring need for men to think of themselves and women to think of them as the protectors.”

Do go read the whole thing. Ahhh, feminism. Just look at the fine creatures modern women have become.

pillowinhell
8 years ago

Steele, I’m not going to say that the social conditioning of men giving up their lives isn’t around, but I will say that its not nearly as strong as MRAs would have us believe.

And to see the very group who should have been lauding the three mens sacrifice the most calling them suckers….. Disgusting, just disgusting.

What’s even worse is that the OP wasn’t a bad one. It was the commentors who totally took it off track to piss and moan about themselves, rather than commemorate the bravery of the men who died. The commentors themselves made these guys “expendable” for their cause, pissing on women they don’t even know.

nwoslave
8 years ago

Oh and while you’re reading the article, do have a run thru the comments. Modern women are simply priceless.

garvan
garvan
8 years ago

You want to know what I think about this story, and these “heroes”

How much do you really know about what they were doing, and whom they were protecting?

We only have their girlfriend’s words on why and how these men died.

We can’t go in and examine a dead man’s head to really see what was behind their actions.

If there’s any “gendering” going on, it’s the idea that men “should” go and die for their girlfriends.

Honestly, die for whatever you want. There’s an infinite amount of things to die for, and we as species are just getting started on it.

Tulgey Logger
Tulgey Logger
8 years ago

MRAs talking about the alleged feminist view of men: “Contrary to what feminists say, men have done all sorts of noble, sacrificial things throughout history.”

MRAs talking about men doing noble, sacrificial things: “suckers don’t even get pussy”

Naturally I expect to see a vigorous and protracted debate in the MRM about this discrepancy.*

*lol not really

Viscaria
Viscaria
8 years ago

Oh my gosh, puppy buddies, that football is almost as big as you are!

Cliff Pervocracy
8 years ago

Reportedly there was a guy in the theatre who left his baby and not only fled but DROVE AWAY, while his girlfriend saved both both of her kids despite a broken leg (arm? Something broken, anyway). I wonder if these dudes would say he made the right call?

It’s a no-win setup. If men defend women, this proves how noble men are. If men don’t defend women, this proves how women don’t deserve it.

(If women defend others, LA LA LA CAN’T HEAR YOU.)

thebionicmommy
thebionicmommy
8 years ago

These 3 men did what they thought to be the right thing. They should be applauded. They and their girlfriends and families deserve respect.

That’s exactly right. Those men are heroes, and their loved ones deserve respect and compassion. I can’t imagine they pain they must be going through.

I can’t imagine how hurtful it would be to lose a loved one, and then run into one of these MRM posts that minimizes and dismisses the sacrifice that they made.

I agree. That would be very hurtful for them to know the terrible things the MRA’s are saying about the men they lost. Sometimes the MRA’s remind me of the Westboro Baptist Church in the way they gloat about other peoples’ misfortunes.

Cliff et al, you’re even more deluded than I thought if you think this isn’t gendered. Obviously women can and are heroic, but it is very, very, very rare that you’ll see a reversal of the three examples presented here. Why? A combination of cultural and biological factors. Part of it- not all, but part- is indeed a culture that teaches men to put themselves last and to defend women at their own expense

Steele, why do I know of so many moms who have died saving their children then? What about the woman at the cell phone store that died saving customers in the Joplin tornado? Self sacrifice is something that both men and women do, so please stop trying to make into a reason to bash women.

Bea
Bea
8 years ago

@Naira:

Funny, I thought it was feminism trying to deconstruct the gender norms such that people aren’t socialized to such radically different sets of character traits and trying to highlight the genderlessness of all sorts of qualities, both good and bad.

SO MUCH THIS. It astonishes me how much time MRAs spend vilifying feminism for problems created by good old-fashioned heteronormative, patriarchal gender roles, the very thing feminists are trying to fight. I don’t post much, but have been lurking around Manboobz for a long time, and it comes up again and again.

Naira
Naira
8 years ago

@Bea:

As someone already said, we can’t know what was going on the minds of those men. I just want to make it clear that I am not saying they were or were not socialized to believe that men should give up their lives for women and not the reverse.

But, even if they were, that’s something feminists are working to deconstruct.

To that point, that’s exactly why I don’t give the MRA any credit for their stated goals. The goals and whining about oppression are just the excuse to hate women and justify a persecution complex. If they really wanted to achieve anything, the overarching philosophy of feminism would not be so abhorrent. Maybe disagreements on the best way to get things done, but nothing like the seething they do.

——————–
Honestly, when it comes to dying for another person, I’ve more often seen it portrayed as a rare ability in anyone, not just the sole domain of one gender. A few times I’ve seen it portrayed as “natural” for a mother (in particular) to die for her children. But that isn’t generally the strongest message, more that it took courage beyond the norm to do it.

TK
TK
8 years ago

Wow. They’re approaching Westboro Baptist Church territory here. As in, regular people should have been worried all along, but now even bigots are going to start distancing themselves.

‘ Most women have been told their entire lives they can have it all’

This is it, isn’t it? They hear the marketing aimed at little girls and women and assume it’s all fai accomplish. Instead of considering, you know, that if women were really totally confident and equal and having a ball, they wouldn’t need a diet pill maker or lipstick brand to remind them.

Damn Western women. So spoiled they won’t even throw themselves on their dead boyfriends’ funeral pyre.

valerienorth
valerienorth
8 years ago

Women sacrifice their lives all the time for others, it’s called – having babies.
I guess MRA’s still believe in storks.

These men did an incredible thing by saving another life and I have nothing but respect for them. Shame on the MRA’s.

TK
TK
8 years ago

That us fait accompli, via Autocorrect.

pillowinhell
8 years ago

What’s more is that women were told they could “have t all”, but in order to have that, we also have to do it all. There are a few articles about how middleclass families split chores and childcare, but mostly the articles are about upping the standards or child rearing, housecleaning, entertaining, providing extracuricular activities, all while also keeping up with high power careers that require twelve hour days and an on call status. And who is called on to take care of this? Women, men are rarely if ever mentioned.

Pear_tree
Pear_tree
8 years ago

I don’t think it is fair to vilify the man who ran away, it is not an easy situation and very difficult for people who will often behave on instinct. The men who gave their lives for their girlfriends were brave, generous and caring people and it is horrible anyone had to die. I don’t think it should be the norm, and I have dated people who’d have saved me, and people who’d have run away leaving me to die. However, what is so bad about the fact that one of the women who survived due to this was more educated than the man who gave his life for her? It is tragic he died, and it was a horrible decision to have to make, but why does the fact his girlfriend was more educated than him make his decision different from if she wasn’t?

blitzgal
8 years ago

And if James Holmes hadn’t been there with three guns and thousands of bullets, none of those people would be shot today. But how terrible of me to point out the central facet of this chivalric code entails men protecting their women from other violent men.

pillowinhell
8 years ago

Sorry, that last post was in response to major udder fondlers favorite “entitled princess” rant.

Yes Slavey, if I’m fucking working my ass off for it I am entitled to have it all.

Steele
Steele
8 years ago

Steele, why do I know of so many moms who have died saving their children then?

This is obviously the one cultural exception; mothers are expected to protect their children.

Self sacrifice is something that both men and women do, so please stop trying to make into a reason to bash women.

I’m merely stating a fact. It’s not a coincidence that three men died protecting women, and you know it. It’s not “bashing women” to acknowledge the fact that men are expected to be more self-sacrificial. Unless you consider questioning the aforementioned male privilege fetish/misandrist/male evil/male Original Sin apple cart to be “bashing women”.

Steele
Steele
8 years ago

the central facet of this chivalric code entails men protecting their women from other violent men.

No, not really- it involves men protecting women from any and all danger.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

How does one question an apple cart, exactly?

pillowinhell
8 years ago

Pear Tree, I’m inclined to agree with you, the guy panicked like so many others. To single him out is rather unfair.

The reason that her being more educated is being focused on is because its a stick to beat feminists with. If we “really” believed in equality, than wed be throwing our lives in danger for the men too, instead of just taking their jobs.

Bea
Bea
8 years ago

@Naira: As someone already said, we can’t know what was going on the minds of those men. I just want to make it clear that I am not saying they were or were not socialized to believe that men should give up their lives for women and not the reverse.

Oh, no, I totally got that, and I completely agree. We have no way of knowing exactly why they did what they did. What I meant was, even if socialization did play a part, it does not erase the bravery it took for them to put a loved one’s safety before their own. We can’t know if there was some cultural influence at play here. Even if there was, we are all influenced by culture and we all still have agency and make choices. These men chose to save their loved ones (as did a few women) and whatever their reasons were, they deserve to be remembered respectfully.

Whether or not there was a men = protectors/women = protected thing going on here, that concept is not one feminism invented or generally reinforces.

Steele
Steele
8 years ago

To clarify my position upon the issue, I of course find these young men to be heroes. I expect their girlfriends feel the same way. I’m merely speaking to the larger misandrist cultural framework that logically leads to this kind of thing more often than the reverse. Obviously the consequences of said misandrist framework are usually not death. But the framework hurts a large majority of men in a thousand smaller ways- this is what’s known as “systematic”.

pillowinhell
8 years ago

Steele, chivalry never applied to the vast majority of women…ever. Chivalry was only ever applied to noble born women, and nobility was vanishingly small. Working class folks never took it up.

Bea
Bea
8 years ago

Er, to clarify my last post — I mean I don’t see feminists insisting men should protect women and women should not protect men. As far as I can tell, these MRAs have pulled that directly out of their asses.

Steele
Steele
8 years ago

the central facet of this chivalric code entails men protecting their women from other violent men.

And in addition to free bodyguard service, it compels men to serve and please women in a hundred other smaller ways, like a combination driver, butler and all-purpose glorified servant.

blitzgal
8 years ago

And in addition to free bodyguard service, it compels men to serve and please women in a hundred other smaller ways, like a combination driver, butler and all-purpose glorified servant.

And WHOOSH, there goes the point, right over your head. If James Holmes, a man, had not been shooting everyone, no one in that theater would have been asked to make any sort of sacrifice whatsoever. But I’m sure you and NWO will find a way to show us how women are to blame for that point, as well.

captainbathrobe
captainbathrobe
8 years ago

From the Slate article Slavey was quoting:

None of these life details are meant to detract from the men’s heroism. They are only meant to make it more poignant, and even beautiful.

Yeah, she’s just a vile feminist who hates men all right. Reading is fundamental, Slavey.

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