Every woman I know who’s tried online dating has gotten all sorts of weird and sleazy messages from guys, from crude sexual come-ons (“sorry for being forward but id love to cum on your glasses :)”) to terrible “sexy” jokes (“So ay girl, you looking for a stud? Because I got the std, all I need is u :)”) to fetish-tastic examples of Too Much Information (“I WISH I WERE A DOG SO I COULD SUCK MYSELF OFF”). (No, guys, appending a smiley face emoticon does not make it ok to be a grotesque douchebag.)
You always wonder what guys like this are thinking. With the dog lover at the end, it’s clear he was trying to rattle a woman who hadn’t replied to two earlier messages of increasing creepiness. With the others, I suppose they think there’s always a tiny chance that some woman out there is as desperate and horny and undiscerning as they are.
What’s stranger are those who lead not with sexual come ons but with blatant misogyny. Do men really think that women melt at the thought of dating a man who hates half the human race? Or are they just looking for yet another chance to mansplain their Men’s Rights bullshit to the world?
Here are a couple of examples of this strange and unsuccessful approach to winning over women which I found on the delightful and disturbing blog The Ladies of OkCupid, which documents the quests of three women searching for love online.
Sometimes the misogyny sneaks up on you, as in this OkCupid profile from a “laid-back” slut-shamer (who was clearly not an English major):
This fellow, by contrast, launches into the misogyny right from the start, suggesting that the woman he’s writing is exceptional, simply because she’s not stupid and illogical like the rest of her gender:
This “edgy” fellow tries to break the ice with some lovely rape jokes:
But the strangest one I’ve seen so far comes from this dude, who uses his OKCupid profile as an opportunity to mansplain why feminism is eeeeeevil:
Oh, and that list keeps going; it’s one hundred items long.
As Jasmine from The Ladies of OKCupid writes,
Delusional and repulsive takes on a whole new level with this one, because I really don’t think he’s kidding. He has every social media outlet known to man with all the same crap, and his profile is HUGE. So either he’s attempting to become the ultimate Canadian troll, or he really thinks there’s a woman out there who exists like this AND would be interested in him, of all people. Really? He offers little more than a receding hairline and an outrageous sense of entitlement in return.
To paraphrase Animal House, delusional and repulsive is no way to go through life.
Happily for The Ladies of OKCupid, and the rest of those ladies seeking love online, not all the messages are like this. For example, take this message about a basic but delicious foodstuff:
Also, the woman who got the message above about that thinking-outside-the-box use for her glasses? She stayed on OkCupid, and is now in a happy relationship with a dude she met there who is not a shitlord.
That’s what I meant about exceptions. There’s never been a universal one child policy, but population growth was under replacement rate because of government policies for a while. Even now, it could hardly be described as “booming”.
Men aren’t the only people who gaslight o_O
Mu5lim? Mu5lim????
Islam 5.0? I’m so confused – it’s not like the 5 and S keys are even close to each other.
His attempt to wriggle out of admitting that he didn’t know that Arabic is not the common language of Iran was funny though.
I wonder if Farsi is related to Cryillic? 🙂
Or maybe that was meant to be a sinister “they’ll convert you, they will!” hint.
@Cassandra – Chinese people don’t need to be “cartoonishly evil” they just need to be people, for the predictions above to come from a valid basis.
Lol! that you immediately defeat your point with your own anecdote.
Also a lot of the points I made are already happening (see build up of Chinese Navy etc.)
@Myoo – Hell, NO! I don’t propose doing anything at all about the demographic decline of the West! NOR propose forcing women into anything! No way!
*I* intend to adapt and enjoy the decline, as far as I possibly can!
Ok – you’ve taken your pick and chosen feminism even temporarily, even at cost of Western hegemony. I like your intellectual honesty. *applauds*
@Ugh – you said:
“…the projected growth rate of the world Islamic population over the next 20 years is 1.5% per year, while the world population growth rate is predicted to be 1.8% a year. …”
Of course, almost none of that net population growth will be in the West, home of feminism.
But hey, don’t listen to me! What do I know? You must right, eh? 😛
G’night!
“*I* intend to adapt and enjoy the decline, as far as I possibly can!”
Trust me, honey, we know that you very much enjoy the idea of watching feminism die, and the, um, new and exciting opportunities that might offer you.
I knew about Farsi already, obviously, but why learn one language that will only allow you to communicate with the inhabitants of one country when you can learn another that will allow you to communicate with the inhabitants* of the whole region (albeit some of them in their second language) see also Portugese vs. Spanish.
(*certainly the educated business people you’ll need to get work from)
@cloudiah – webbots look for certain combinations of search terms. You will also notice that I carefully avoid all rhetorical uses of the word that is the opposite of imp lode for instance.
I rate that flounce at 4/10, but then again, I don’t exist. I’ll take zie/zir over they, fuck you very much.
Maybe you could debate with NWO on whether androgyny is a thing though? You just want to force pronouns on me, he swears I don’t exist.
3/10, point deduction for failure to stick the landing
Have your “zie” I don’t want to argue about it anymore!
“@cloudiah – webbots look for certain combinations of search terms. You will also notice that I carefully avoid all rhetorical uses of the word that is the opposite of imp lode for instance.”
Oh gods do I love toying with the DHS webbot, and it’s been awhile now since I mentioned that one of my favorite video games involves decapitating zombie Nazis (hint Joe, Nazi is also on that search list, as is booming, I would assume — the bot doesn’t know that you were discussing population booms)
@TheFirstJoe
Doubling down on the Arab thing eh? Maybe you should actually, you know, Google this shit. Iran hyas 5 million Arabic speakers, out of 75 million people.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arab_world
Also, you still haven’t responded to how Iran’s population is “booming,” with a birth rate lower than the USA’s.
Haha you know that, prior to WWI, at the absolute height of Britain’s power, the male and female populations were about equal. right? http://www.ons.gov.uk/ons/interactive/vp1-story-of-the-census/index.html. Same goes for most of their history. When was this sudden spike of Norman/British single men?
“You don’t know history.” I don’t know the history in your head, in which Orwell was anti-Marxist, the draft was renamed selective service in the 80s and all Muslims speak Arabic, no. I do know a fair bit of actual history though.
Haha a video that looks dubbed on the Blaze. *shrugs* Have a source that isn’t on a website owned by Glenn Beck?
I don’t really think it will be either. The Chinese auto industry posted losses this year, and their provincial dect crises are getting out of hand. Theyu’re not as strong as people think they are, and are very poorly set up for any quaternanry economic progress.
Oh good, Joe’s conceded that I can pick my own pronoun, am I supposed to feel like we’ve forced you to submit or something? And weren’t you going to bed a moment ago?
@Argenti, Please have an anti-oppressive baby animal, on me. Consider it a belated birthday present.
@1Joe,
It’s terrible how many men died, mining for imps.
@Joe
USA population growth: 2.1 births per woman. China: 1.6. Iran: 1.7.
What the fuck do I care if population grows more in some vaguely defined “East”, it’s not a competition, you know. And immigration is a good way to counter an ageing population, so if western countries are so worried about that, thy can just provide incentives for immigrants to settle there.
Also, there is feminism in Iran, China and India, dude, for several decades at least. If you think that women’s rights is a west only phenomenon, you are wrong once more.
Aw, and I bought her a present.
Why is Iosephus I scared of drawing the attentions of webbots?
MUSLIM!
MUSLIM!
MUSLIM!
@Jean,
The SF Bay Area is Podunk now? Who knew?
FWIW, I’ve been to South Africa. You were talking about New York City, where there aren’t too many people, to my knowledge, who like being called “colored,” not to mention “Coloured.” You’re welcome to test that theory at any time, however.
cloudiah — thank you, Joe is just the shit icing on my shitty day, I needed a baby animal.
BTW, for some reason I’m having a hard time posting comments in this thread, so if the same one comes through multiple times I apologize.
WAAAAAAAH, THEY TWEAKIN’ MAH PRIVILEGE
Aw, man, I was coming back to see if Jean had gotten around to calling me “Golliwog” yet after I poked him last, and you all beat me to it. And here I thought I was smart or something. :-p