Every woman I know who’s tried online dating has gotten all sorts of weird and sleazy messages from guys, from crude sexual come-ons (“sorry for being forward but id love to cum on your glasses :)”) to terrible “sexy” jokes (“So ay girl, you looking for a stud? Because I got the std, all I need is u :)”) to fetish-tastic examples of Too Much Information (“I WISH I WERE A DOG SO I COULD SUCK MYSELF OFF”). (No, guys, appending a smiley face emoticon does not make it ok to be a grotesque douchebag.)
You always wonder what guys like this are thinking. With the dog lover at the end, it’s clear he was trying to rattle a woman who hadn’t replied to two earlier messages of increasing creepiness. With the others, I suppose they think there’s always a tiny chance that some woman out there is as desperate and horny and undiscerning as they are.
What’s stranger are those who lead not with sexual come ons but with blatant misogyny. Do men really think that women melt at the thought of dating a man who hates half the human race? Or are they just looking for yet another chance to mansplain their Men’s Rights bullshit to the world?
Here are a couple of examples of this strange and unsuccessful approach to winning over women which I found on the delightful and disturbing blog The Ladies of OkCupid, which documents the quests of three women searching for love online.
Sometimes the misogyny sneaks up on you, as in this OkCupid profile from a “laid-back” slut-shamer (who was clearly not an English major):
This fellow, by contrast, launches into the misogyny right from the start, suggesting that the woman he’s writing is exceptional, simply because she’s not stupid and illogical like the rest of her gender:
This “edgy” fellow tries to break the ice with some lovely rape jokes:
But the strangest one I’ve seen so far comes from this dude, who uses his OKCupid profile as an opportunity to mansplain why feminism is eeeeeevil:
Oh, and that list keeps going; it’s one hundred items long.
As Jasmine from The Ladies of OKCupid writes,
Delusional and repulsive takes on a whole new level with this one, because I really don’t think he’s kidding. He has every social media outlet known to man with all the same crap, and his profile is HUGE. So either he’s attempting to become the ultimate Canadian troll, or he really thinks there’s a woman out there who exists like this AND would be interested in him, of all people. Really? He offers little more than a receding hairline and an outrageous sense of entitlement in return.
To paraphrase Animal House, delusional and repulsive is no way to go through life.
Happily for The Ladies of OKCupid, and the rest of those ladies seeking love online, not all the messages are like this. For example, take this message about a basic but delicious foodstuff:
Also, the woman who got the message above about that thinking-outside-the-box use for her glasses? She stayed on OkCupid, and is now in a happy relationship with a dude she met there who is not a shitlord.
Yeah, Rome totally collapsed because women just had too much power. That definitely sounds like an accurate and not at all completely made-up account of the decline of Rome.
@The First Joe
Ok, so what’s the problem with Marxism again? Are you saying that Marxism necessarily entails a violent revolution? I thought you were opposed to new gender pronouns and gender as a construct because they were Marxist, but what’s violent about that?
Maybe not in the USA. I live in Canada, where we still have a free press. Ironically, that’s mostly because we still have some state-owned media that have some sort of social mandate and not just the profit motive.
Bollocks. The collapse is inevitable, it’s due to the intrinsic nature of the capitalist mode of production. You’ve got a class of idle capital owners who own a social machinery whose entire purpose is to syphon off productive value from the working class, and the entire economy is predicated on enterprises extracting more and more value (as a relative percentage) each year. At some point the Ponzi scheme collapses because the rate of extraction of value is higher than the rate at which the working class is able to reproduce wealth, meaning that people can’t even produce enough wealth *for themselves* to perpetuate their own productivity (in layman terms: people starve while most of their production is taken from them by their employers…).
Not to mention the need to find places to dump profits as investments. Something you would know about if you’d actually properly read 1984. Goldstein’s book is pretty explicit about the inevitability of capitalist collapse and the rise socialism if plusvalue isn’t being destroyed on purpose by the Party’s perpetual war. You just need to read that part to know Orwell had a pretty orthodox Marxist understanding of economics.
True, different terms in different countries cause offence / are acceptable.
I won’t go into my opinion / feelings on it, as that has to do with my own mixed race origins / roots, which is more personal info. than I want to put out here.
The parochialism of the US is to lol – see that time one interviewer referred to Nelson Mandela as being an African American South African. Nelson was all “wtf?”
@Gametime – not the ONLY factor obviously. But definitely a factor. You should read up, it’s interesting.
>>>So I seek to create a voluntaryist / cooperative society by peaceful / reformist means.
And I seek to create a utopia through magic rainbows and unicorns.
Let me know how that works out for you.
@Joe-never argue with idiots or the insane. There are probaly a billion people on the internet and it appears that a dozen of the freaks have gathered here. You see, beginning in 2000, computers started to become dirt cheap and the 5% who had high speed increased to what you see today. Every lower class moron who had a boobtube now also had a new computer toy that they could play with and use anonymously to make a pest of themselves.Some of them delude themselves that they are as good as an intelligent upper class person because they read something on the crap site, Wiki. I’m afraid that this is what happens when the ignorant poor proles get their hands on cheap technology.They completely degrade the product and use it to annoy others. Look at cell phones for example, nice invention but what it is used for? So females can annoy people in public with their constant blah blah blah bullshit about nothing that they formerly had to do at home away from men,or to use as an easy babysitting device for their kids.
Technology, which is all invented and developed by men should only be in the hands of the elite.
And let’s stop this bullshit about how ccorrupt the upper classes are because there are even more corrupt lower class denizens in the ‘hood. They’re just too stupid to get anywhere.
@Myoo – collapsing a society (which is what I contend that PC critique was designed to contribute to) is invariably violent in practice.
Sorry, Joe, but I’m not buying it. The implication of your argument is that it would be better for women in the long run if there was no feminism, and that’s so demonstrably idiotic that I’m having a hard time believing that didn’t just hope that if you surrounded it with enough rhetoric nobody would notice.
DOWN WITH UNICORNISM! KITTYISM IS THE TRUE PATH!
Also, I want there to be tiny elephants so I could have some as pets.
And to be able to fly.
Jean’s shock revelation of the day: different countries use different words in different ways!
As I said, you have a warped agenda. Negro is an actual word in a dictionary for a person of a certain group or race. Words also have connotations and You seem to believe that just because YOU don’t like the connotation of a particular word that no one should use it. The world does not revolve around little people like you so get lost.
Jean, you’re trying too hard.
@BlackBloc – basically agreeing with your analysis of the inevitable collapse of the Ponzi scheme that is debt / rent based value-extraction economics.
However, you’re wrong in implying that demographics doesn’t influence it. And feminism influences demographics.
Also, war isn’t “dumping” profit! It’s yet ANOTHER opportunity for the bankster class to siphon value / assets from both sides – by selling arms to both sides. It’s also one of the few ways for a sovereign (e.g. a nation, like the US) to get rid of a crippling debt it can never pay – by killing its creditors (*cough* the Chinese have ?had? a LOT of US bonds).
Unicorns and rainbows?? Wait, you’re not the brony guy are you??? 😛
Taking odds on JeanM
Actual upper class twit: 20 to 1
Nouveau riche: 10 to 1
Petit bourgeois with delusions of grandeur: 3 to 1
Petit bourgeois trolling people while actually knowing he’s no where near upper class: 2 to 1
I don’t believe that the word Black should ever be used when referring to a Negro. In the English language the word black, both in its definition and its connotation, is all negative. While if you use the foreign word, Negro, there is nothing negative about it to an English speaking person and it just means a person from sub Saharra Africa.
@The First Joe: You misunderstand completely the implications of the United States’ debt. When you’re a working class joe, being in debt makes you beholden to your creditors. When you’re a superpower, being in debt makes your creditors beholden to you. The entire Chinese economy is based on the continued value of the US dollar. I guarantee you if the USA defaults on payment, it’s the rest of the world that will suffer, not America.
@Cassandrasays – if there’s one thing I’ve learned in my life, from past girlfriends, it’s this:
*clears throat*
“Never, ever to try to suggest to any woman what might be good for her – if it would involve disagreeing with what she has already decided to do.”
What you’re saying Cassandra, is that feminism = doubleplusgood, therefore how could it ever have poor outcomes for women!???
And who am I to tell you otherwise? I have merely presented the geopolitical realities as I see them, you may draw your own feminist conclusions.
Or just, wait and see! Maybe I’m wrong, maybe it’ll be Priuses and sitcoms forevAR!!
😀
Unless of course you consider the American people to be America, which is the sort of naive thinking that people who buy into democratic republics are found of. America is American banks, American corporations and the American government. The people who actually live in America are an occupied population…
Taking odds on JeanM
I’m a descendant of a signer of the US Declaration of Independence on my father’s side and my mother was an English baroness. I’m moderately wealthy.
Does that answer your question?
It doesn’t appear that you actually learned anything at all from your exes, Joe. My condolences to all of them, especially given the gaslighting that you’re now attempting to engage in.
>>>@BlackBloc – basically agreeing with your analysis of the inevitable collapse of the Ponzi scheme that is debt / rent based value-extraction economics.
Debt does not enter into it, really. Debt or credit is probably the one thing that kept the whole system going for as long as it did.
Usury is the problem, of which rent is only a subset. The type of usury that is most damaging in capitalism is simply profit, or the act in which an employer can take any form of plusvalue from the workers and not pay it as wages.
I’m guessing you’re a poe, but just for shits and giggles, I’ll respond in case you’re for real.
The experience I explained about being harassed at Wal-Mart by the guy in the cowboy boots happened in a big city, too. Now Joplin isn’t near as big as NYC, but still we are the 12th largest city in Missouri. Street harassment is not a rural issue, suburban issue, or city issue but an everywhere issue. Just because you don’t see what happens outside of 5th Avenue doesn’t mean it’s not happening. I never see penguins outside of a zoo, but I still know there are a lot of them in Antarctica.
Now you’ve had several of us here at manboobz telling you our own experiences with street harassment, and how it’s usually a way for more privileged people to pick on less privileged people. No matter how many times you repeat your racist and classist assertions, you’re still wrong.
@BlackBloc – key word “superpower”. That won’t last. Remember when Iran took control of the US latest stealth dr0n3? How much of the US military might relies on computers? How many computer nerds do you think China has working for it?
Maybe you missed that China already owns shitloads of the US, see stuff like this: http://www.usatoday.com/money/markets/2010-01-17-china-investment-in-us_N.htm
Agree re. crony corporate rule of US, btw
@JeanM: I suggest you keep that quiet when the revolution comes. You’re less likely to meet Dr. Guillotine if you’re merely a bourgeois, since they can always be reeducated to productive members of society, unlike aristocrats who seem to revel in their uselessness.
So, JeanM is Pell, yeah?