Every woman I know who’s tried online dating has gotten all sorts of weird and sleazy messages from guys, from crude sexual come-ons (“sorry for being forward but id love to cum on your glasses :)”) to terrible “sexy” jokes (“So ay girl, you looking for a stud? Because I got the std, all I need is u :)”) to fetish-tastic examples of Too Much Information (“I WISH I WERE A DOG SO I COULD SUCK MYSELF OFF”). (No, guys, appending a smiley face emoticon does not make it ok to be a grotesque douchebag.)
You always wonder what guys like this are thinking. With the dog lover at the end, it’s clear he was trying to rattle a woman who hadn’t replied to two earlier messages of increasing creepiness. With the others, I suppose they think there’s always a tiny chance that some woman out there is as desperate and horny and undiscerning as they are.
What’s stranger are those who lead not with sexual come ons but with blatant misogyny. Do men really think that women melt at the thought of dating a man who hates half the human race? Or are they just looking for yet another chance to mansplain their Men’s Rights bullshit to the world?
Here are a couple of examples of this strange and unsuccessful approach to winning over women which I found on the delightful and disturbing blog The Ladies of OkCupid, which documents the quests of three women searching for love online.
Sometimes the misogyny sneaks up on you, as in this OkCupid profile from a “laid-back” slut-shamer (who was clearly not an English major):
This fellow, by contrast, launches into the misogyny right from the start, suggesting that the woman he’s writing is exceptional, simply because she’s not stupid and illogical like the rest of her gender:
This “edgy” fellow tries to break the ice with some lovely rape jokes:
But the strangest one I’ve seen so far comes from this dude, who uses his OKCupid profile as an opportunity to mansplain why feminism is eeeeeevil:
Oh, and that list keeps going; it’s one hundred items long.
As Jasmine from The Ladies of OKCupid writes,
Delusional and repulsive takes on a whole new level with this one, because I really don’t think he’s kidding. He has every social media outlet known to man with all the same crap, and his profile is HUGE. So either he’s attempting to become the ultimate Canadian troll, or he really thinks there’s a woman out there who exists like this AND would be interested in him, of all people. Really? He offers little more than a receding hairline and an outrageous sense of entitlement in return.
To paraphrase Animal House, delusional and repulsive is no way to go through life.
Happily for The Ladies of OKCupid, and the rest of those ladies seeking love online, not all the messages are like this. For example, take this message about a basic but delicious foodstuff:
Also, the woman who got the message above about that thinking-outside-the-box use for her glasses? She stayed on OkCupid, and is now in a happy relationship with a dude she met there who is not a shitlord.
I’d like to suggest that Joe kiss my ass. It will make it easier for
mesociety to deal with what a huge assails he is.“what does they want for dinner?”
Yeah, that’s right, assails. Gj, autocorrect.
I love goalpost moving with a side of cisplaining.
Speaking of dinner-I have a book on medieval recipes of France and Italy coming. I am stoked!
Interesting thread. On the one hand, I don’t really see anything wrong with people identifying how they choose, even if it seems clunky or awkward to an outside ear. And I think others should probably just deal with it. But on the other hand, the massive butthurt over Joe’s (at worst) mild transphobia is very telling as to feminism’s (lack of) priorities and (lack of) substantial issues to engage in. Which makes sense, considering that women are the privileged gender in the Western world, and don’t have very many collective problems.
I also find said butthurt in this thread more than a little ironic, and Joe’s comments very hard to get worked up over in the context of Boobzland itself. From a utilitarian perspective, it is orders of magnitude worse to be misandrist than transphobic, because men make up 50% of the population, whereas folks who identify as transgender make up a fraction of a percent. And yet Boobzland’s commentariat is built around blatant and vile misandry, denying men’s issues, laughing and men’s pain, making fun of men for how they were born, and placing women’s worth over men’s.
I’ll take Joe over Boobzland, any day of the week.
Mikey’s trying to make friends again! Awww. He must be so lonely.
…You know there are entire MRA sites out there? You don’t just have to pick the trolls from this one.
Also someone who’s made 1000 posts about his crap has NO place pulling the “how can you argue about this when there are children starving?” card.
So this is Mikey’s new business model? Posting long, rambling “I agree, because everyone on Manboobz is evil!” comments in response to every new troll?
…Can’t he just join the local weekend soccer league or something?
Joe – I’ve extended this invitation to others here, but you seem like a sharp tack. Shoot me a line, we can discuss the Movement.
Fact is, many of Boobzland’s dissenters have “got it going on”, for lack of a better phrase. I have been impressed with their struggles against the brainless masses here. If we could form a collective of sorts, I think we could be a major MRM think tank. Unfortunately I haven’t gotten much interest as of yet. How about it?
David, I suspect this may be asking too much of your filters, but is there any way of blocking this crap in the same way that you blocked Tom Martin’s use of the W word?
I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m getting really fucking bored with Torvus Buttplug’s constant repetition of the same clearly refutable lies about the commentariat here.
Repeating the same lies over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again doesn’t make them any less untrue than they were first time round, whatever Lewis Carroll’s Boatman may have claimed.
I’m a man, and I don’t feel the tiniest bit mocked or marginalised by the commentariat here, and neither do I feel that I’m regarded as any kind of second class citizen. I’m also hugely impressed by the way the regulars here actually go out of their way to stress genuine problems afflicting men – while at the same time quite rightly mocking those who seem to think that being a white cis male in the 21st century is somehow equivalent of being a plantation slave two hundred years earlier.
I’m a man, and I don’t feel the tiniest bit mocked or marginalised by the commentariat here, and neither do I feel that I’m regarded as any kind of second class citizen.
This is because you are a misandrist-feminist who implicitly agrees (perhaps not in so many words) with what you just quoted.
@The First Joe
You said that you:
You aspire to that because western society is not like that already, otherwise there would be no point in aspiring to it, would it?
And yet, you say things like:
Here’s some news for you dude, you’re trying to replace western civilization with something else, therefore destroying it. So what’s your problem with marxism, exactly?
Well, the most obvious response to this drivel is to ask you to prove it, by citing one single comment of mine – hell, even an out-of-context sentence – that comes even the tiniest bit close to backing up your claim.
But because you know perfectly well that no such comment or sentence exists, you’ve added an “implicitly” and a parenthetical “(perhaps not in so many words)”.
How appropriate that in a thread that has already cited Orwell extensively, you should seek to accuse me of thoughtcrime.
So I get distracted by Minecraft for five hours straight and you all go and have a Troll Party! At least one of them seems to be mildly unique in their awfulness and isn’t just a repetition of themselves and each other.
The vast majority of harassment I’ve gotten in my life has been from white people (people of white), but thanks for the bonus racism!
Cliff, I can well believe that your trailer park lower class whites that you know would do this but I was discussing a city.And in a place like NYC there is a big class divide with most of the poorer dumber people being non Caucasian.
A lot of you seem to be constantly reliving your ‘tween eperiences at Podunk High and have some cockeyed view of the world and in fact will even deny reality because it doesn’t fit into your very narrow thinking. I can assure you that upper class white men never harass people and that even their children are well behaved. If they saw a queerfish like you it would barely register and you’d be just another freak in the city and as important as a gnat on an elephant’s arse. You see, real people with lives have other things to do and are not going to harass anyone aside from the fact that doing something like that would make them look lower class. In the city the lower cclasses are almost all non white with perhaps a handful of lower class whites mixed in. These are the people with no lives, no jobs, living off the charity of real people, who have nothing to do but make pests of themselves when they are not committing crimes.
Hahahahahahahahaha, this is precious. Mikey’s trying to get recruits for his “No Girls Allowed” treehouse.
Also, I love how in one breath he harrumphs about how feminists have no real issues to talk about so they harp on “harmless” things like transphobia and in the next he expresses his fawning adulation of people like NWO, who has spent countless hours here writing thousands of comments.
Jean, trolling works better when you don’t take it so far that it becomes obvious that you’re just saying the most outrageous thing you can think of in order to get a reaction. Once you go over that line, people aren’t pissed off so much as just bored. You are boring. If you must troll, troll better.
AhahahhahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAA thanks Jean, I needed a laugh today.
Before I get into this, no, using “zie” is not a contributor to this. I’m done arguing about that, by the way.
This is re: PC and feminism in general.
@Ugh – Hey, laugh it up all you like mate. The USSR collapsed before the West did, true.
However, the West IS going through a slow motion collapse right now!
Which collapse is threatening to accelerate. Spain and Greece are already on fire. Have you seen the footage of Spanish miners fighting the cops? You won’t see it on your mainstream telly, btw.
Part of the reason for that economic collapse is demographic change*. Change which is related in part to PC and feminism.
(*Obviously globalisation & flight of manufacturing to the third world has a LOT to do with it, as does the vast greed and trillions in theft / fraud / offshoring by the super-rich banksters who run the world…. Some of whom helped fund 2nd wave feminism, incidentally – e.g. Rockefeller Foundation….)
– Birth rates have dropped drastically in the West, this is due partly to technology (the Pill etc.) but also very strongly due to to women’s lib. When women have the choice (via contraception or abortion) – on average they choose to have fewer kids. Drop in marriage rates / huge number of divorces subsequent to legalisation of no-fault divorce is also related to this.
This is true to the point where you often see population reductionists explicitly promoting feminism BECAUSE of this effect. The consequences of this reduced birth rate in the West are multiple.
– The population is now top heavy with old folks. People have economic productive potential from around their late teens to their 60s. If you don’t have a big productive class, supporting all those old Baby Boomers is going to be a disproportionate burden … Bill Gates and cohorts are already discussing “death panels” and in the UK we have something euphemistically called the Liverpool Care Pathway = old, poor, ill & weak? hospitalised? = heavy sedation and slow tortuous death by thirst.
– Unless there is something approaching a sovereign debt jubilee permitting another credit-fuelled bubble (if one were possible, but it probably isn’t, there are only so many IOUs China will accept) the West will continue to wane.
– In contrast China, India and the Islamic world (being, broadly speaking, patriarchies) continue to boom in population, and although China’s economy is slowing down now, they still have a massive manufacturing base.
Best case scenario:
The BRIICS peacefully create a new world currency (already under discussion) and drop the US $dollar as reserve and petrodollar (Russia, China and Iran already trade on Iran’s non-petrodollar Oil Bourse), the US is plunged into the worst economic collapse in its history and an increasingly draconian gov’t maintains order through oppressive measures. There will be widespread hardship in the West much, much worse than 1930s. China peacefully expands its zone of influence in the Pacific and Africa under a “cold war” situation. The BRIICS form a new developed world that eclipses the West. Smart Westerners learn to speak at least one of Mandarin, Hindi or Arabic. (I put that second “I” in there – it stands for Iran). Let’s hope for this. It won’t make feminists happy, because Iran and in a lot of ways India & China are the opposite of feminist. (Brazil is increasingly feminist, altho’ if that will hold up after the $US dollar collapse is another question). However, it will probably involve the least death and destruction, comparatively.
Subsequent to the horrible gendercide that accompanied its One Child policy – China has a VAST excess of young men vs. young women coming of age right now. They are a constant threat of revolution against the gerontocracy. Either they are sent out across the world establishing a mercantile empire for the Chinese state corporations that will quickly dwarf the old British Empire, or they will get used as cannon fodder in wars. China is currently expanding aggressively commercially in Africa (in the same way that the old Euro powers did, unhampered by PC or human rights concerns), but is also massively building up its Navy (it will soon have a functioning aircraft carrier or two).
India also has a similar enormous gender imbalance, due to a paralell gendercide against girls / girl babies. While it’s harder to guess what consequences that will have c.f. China, as India is much more heterogynous than China (the authorities are actively fighting nominally communist guerillas in some regions for instance), India will experience similar pressures.
Worst case scenarios:
Various. Including: US and allies go directly to war in Syria and or Iran, with Russia and China supplying those two nations with arms and fighting the West either as proxy, or directly…
Or, with the US pursuing a policy of encirclement against China – indirectly in the Mid-East and directly in the Pacific – may lead to WWIII (with all the potential horror / disaster that entails), unless the US breaks up in the manner of the old Soviet Union first and/or descends into a second American Civil War.
We are going to live in interesting times, and the West is very likely to lose its three or four centuries old hegemony, which was built on patriarchy. Our Western societies & nations will be radically altered, by external and internal factors, economic, national and supranational.
Now, I’m not all that sold on patriarchy personally, it was shit for men in lots of ways, and there’s no moral case for denying women education and work. The demographic consequences are undeniable though.
Don’t do it, Joe! Don’t talk to Steele! Sure, it’s all fine and dandy, you’re discussing the Movement, going great, and then you say something that he disagrees with or maybe he thinks might come back to embarrass him later, like maybe women deserve to make decisions concerning their own bodies, or something like that, and suddenly he’s gone all quiet at you and then, his face twisting with rage, he starts demanding you tell him how much money the misandrist-feminists paid you to run a false flag op on Manboobz! Come on, admit it! They promised you pussy, didn’t they?! Didn’t they?! And then he leaves, muttering as how he’d rather hang out with someone who rants about filthy Jewesses than a mangina like you.
…And if you don’t believe me, just ask Tom Martin.
Shorter Joe – I’m not saying that we should oppress women for the sake of society and maintaining Western dominance, but…actually I am saying that. Unless it would be bad for men too, of course, that’s not cool.
@Myoo – oooh, great point! So glad you asked that.
I spent YEARS reading up on revolutions throughout history. And my conclusion was this – every violent / destructive revolution involved mass murder, and put the worst murdering bastards at the top of the heap. Every time. It’s futile, if what you want is a peaceful non-coercive society.
So I seek to create a voluntaryist / cooperative society by peaceful / reformist means. This kind of requires going at things sideways. Existing power systems thrive on the binary of direct physical conflict, that’s how they got there in the first place.
@Cassandrasays – No. Just no.
I’m not saying women should be oppressed at ALL.
I’m saying the consequences of feminism (as it exists) are inevitably self-defeating, because other non-feminist cultures will eventually supplant it demographically / economically / by defeating feminist cultures in war (see also, the rise of Roman women’s personal power, demographic collapse and its part in the fall of Rome).
You can argue that’s a price worth paying.
I’m not going to argue with you on that.
Personally I’ll be looking for the cracks in society which will provide opportunity (I hope) to establish the kind of voluntaryist / cooperative society I hope for.
Hey Capn’, I know that you and the others here like to make up your own definitions to suit your silly warped agendas but coloured(with the big C lol) means a mixed breed person and in the US most Negroes are actually Coloured.
I object to the use of “person of colour” and let me also tell you that in many countries you do not refer to a Negro as Black. If you were to refer to one of your workers as Black rather than Negro in Brazil you would be brought before a tribunal and fined.
Get out of Podunk and see what the real world is like.
Jean’s shock revelation of the day: different countries use different words in different ways!