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Far from OK, Cupid

Do not reply to this man.

Every woman I know who’s tried online dating has gotten all sorts of weird and sleazy messages from guys, from crude sexual come-ons (“sorry for being forward but id love to cum on your glasses :)”) to terrible “sexy” jokes (“So ay girl, you looking for a stud? Because I got the std, all I need is u :)”) to fetish-tastic examples of Too Much Information (“I WISH I WERE A DOG SO I COULD SUCK MYSELF OFF”). (No, guys, appending a smiley face emoticon does not make it ok to be a grotesque douchebag.)

You always wonder what guys like this are thinking. With the dog lover at the end, it’s clear he was trying to rattle a woman who hadn’t replied to two earlier messages of increasing creepiness. With the others, I suppose they think there’s always a tiny chance that some woman out there is as desperate and horny and undiscerning as they are.

What’s stranger are those who lead not with sexual come ons but with blatant misogyny. Do men really think that women melt at the thought of dating a man who hates half the human race? Or are they just looking for yet another chance to mansplain their Men’s Rights bullshit to the world?

Here are a couple of examples of this strange and unsuccessful approach to winning over women which I found on the delightful and disturbing blog The Ladies of OkCupid, which documents the quests of three women searching for love online.

Sometimes the misogyny sneaks up on you, as in this OkCupid profile from a “laid-back” slut-shamer (who was clearly not an English major):

This fellow, by contrast, launches into the misogyny right from the start, suggesting that the woman he’s writing is exceptional, simply because she’s not stupid and illogical like the rest of her gender:

This “edgy” fellow tries to break the ice with some lovely rape jokes:

But the strangest one I’ve seen so far comes from this dude, who uses his OKCupid profile as an opportunity to mansplain why feminism is eeeeeevil:

Oh, and that list keeps going; it’s one hundred items long.

As Jasmine from The Ladies of OKCupid writes,

Delusional and repulsive takes on a whole new level with this one, because I really don’t think he’s kidding. He has every social media outlet known to man with all the same crap, and his profile is HUGE. So either he’s attempting to become the ultimate Canadian troll, or he really thinks there’s a woman out there who exists like this AND would be interested in him, of all people. Really? He offers little more than a receding hairline and an outrageous sense of entitlement in return.

To paraphrase Animal House, delusional and repulsive is no way to go through life.

Happily for The Ladies of OKCupid, and the rest of those ladies seeking love online, not all the messages are like this. For example, take this message about a basic but delicious foodstuff:

Also, the woman who got the message above about that thinking-outside-the-box use for her glasses? She stayed on OkCupid, and is now in a happy relationship with a dude she met there who is not a shitlord.

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JeanM
JeanM
8 years ago

And no, I did not inherit a lot of money, I inherited a little money. Everything else I earned from my profession and some businesses I own. In fact I’m at my medical supply warehouse near Newark right now, working. Due to the nature of the business we have to take inventories frequently to prevent loss and theft of certain controlled items and I’m waiting for my workers to finish.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

@ Viscaria

Probably, yeah. I grew up around actual upper class twits, and that’s not what they sound like.

The First Joe
The First Joe
8 years ago

@BlackBloc – where I said “debt” I assumed usury – there are no commercial debts in the West without it. Since the end of Bretton Woods all major western currencies are just paper debt from gov’ts which pay interest on that debt to a massive global private bankster cartel, that foms a supranational archipelago hyperpower, whose major centres are the Fed, the City of London, BIS and Hong Kong among others.
I think referring to the exploitation of workers as “usury” is stretching the definition to the point of breaking, and it doesn’t help anyone.

cloudiah
8 years ago

@Viscaria, I was just about to write that but luckily hit refresh. Sounds like Pell to me.

Hey JeanM, could you provide us a picture of yourself?

JeanM
JeanM
8 years ago

@JeanM: I suggest you keep that quiet when the revolution comes

lol Don’t hold your breathe pal. The proles never revolt or do much of anything in life.c The most we have to do is throw them a bone or two. Free ccoupons for Big Macs or free cells, internet , cheap beer etc. and they quiet down.:)

Ugh
Ugh
8 years ago

I love the sheer volume of factual errors in Joe’s “ask me about the CONSPIRACY” post.

Here are a few choice ones:

Spanish riots not covered by mainstream media.
http://photoblog.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/07/04/12562810-miners-spanish-riot-police-clash-at-pozo-soton-mine?lite

Even Fox covered it: http://www.foxnews.com/world/2012/07/11/spanish-miners-stage-protest-rally-in-madrid/

The whole point of Liverpool Care Pathway was that patients were being treated even though they were cogent and asking to be let go. If a patient is unable to make the choice for his or herself, they do not end life support.

China’s population is booming. False. It has held steady for over a decade at 1.3 billion.

When China, Iran and India take over, we will all have to learn Mandarin, Arabic, and Hindi. Um, the language of business in India is English. The language in general in Iran is Farsi.

Unmarried men are a threat to the social order in China, while married men and women are safe. It’s not as if married couples, like Fang Lizhi and Li Shuxian, are ever involved in democracy protests.

Also LOL at “sending their young men to create a mercantile empire.” They’re not the fricken Phoenicians, they’re a modern country with a strong industrial sector. Where do you think these colonies of mercantilist young men are being set up, anyways?

On a related note, have you ever met someone from China? Like, ever? They’re actually human beings, like you and me, not agents of the reptillian overlords.

We are going to live in interesting times, and the West is very likely to lose its three or four centuries old hegemony, which was built on patriarchy.

Wait, so we need patriarchy, because gender selective abortion leads to young unmarried men, who are somehow more of a threat to the establishment and so are sent overseas to gather fur and tobacco in true mercantilist fashion, in order to maintain power? Are you even able to follow your own logic?

Bill Gates and cohorts are already discussing “death panels”

Haha seriously did you hear this on Coast to Coast?

The First Joe
The First Joe
8 years ago

@CassandraSays – “gaslighting” yay! I haz feminist BINGO! 😀

I don’t think that word means what you think it means.

Also, another relevant observation re. the future of the West: conversions to Islam are much higher among Western women than Western men. Make of that what you will.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
8 years ago

“Every lower class moron who had a boobtube now also had a new computer toy that they could play with and use anonymously to make a pest of themselves.Some of them delude themselves that they are as good as an intelligent upper class person because they read something on the crap site, Wiki.”

Case in point… (hint, there’s a space after a period)

Oh and FTR? Working class family of origin, begged for a computer in fucking 1995, got myself a DOS box for my efforts — second hand, sure, but I’ve been writing HTML since the late 90s. That was before the Latin classes and college education mind you, just so we’re clear that educated =/= upper class.

And intelligent? Care to define that? Do bear in mind that psychology is still debating what it is IQ tests actually measure, but whatever it is, it isn’t correlated to class if it in’t actually worth measuring.

“Technology, which is all invented and developed by men should only be in the hands of the elite.”

COBOL, that ancient ass computer language? 1/3rd of the creators were women.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

I once went on a date with a Chinese guy who was the son of a Party politico and very much in favor of all kinds of imperialism*, and even he wasn’t as cartoonishly evil and scary as Joe would like us to imagine.

*Yeah, I know it was a bad idea, but he didn’t get to the “yay imperialism” part until about halfway through dinner. This is why there was no second date.

Ugh
Ugh
8 years ago

Also, China, India, and Iran all also will have increasing numbers of seniors over the next fifty years. Of them, only India’s population is actually growing. Iran has a lower fertility rate than the U.S., at 1.71 births per woman.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

Well, you has lots of feminists laughing at you, and it only took you a few pages of hilarious conspiracy theories to get there. Congrats?

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
8 years ago

“I’m a descendant of a signer of the US Declaration of Independence on my father’s side and my mother was an English baroness. I’m moderately wealthy.
Does that answer your question?”

Fucking Pell…

” In fact I’m at my medical supply warehouse near Newark right now, working.”

Totally Pell >.<

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
8 years ago

and ninja’ed by David, I fail

Ugh
Ugh
8 years ago

@Joe

Conversions to Islam! Conspiracy theorist bingo!

Let’s see, the projected growth rate of the world Islamic population over the next 20 years is 1.5% per year, while the world population growth rate is predicted to be 1.8% a year. Sounds like a crisis!

http://www.pewforum.org/The-Future-of-the-Global-Muslim-Population.aspx

cloudiah
8 years ago

When China, Iran and India take over, we will all have to learn Mandarin, Arabic, and Hindi. Um, the language of business in India is English. The language in general in Iran is Farsi.

Joe the 1st seriously does not know how to use the Google, does he? That cracked me up.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

In theory China’s population growth rate should be negative, although of course the one child policy isn’t enforced in a universal way, partly due to it being impossible to manage and partly due to exemptions. Still, the idea of a China with runaway population growth is nonsense.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

LOL, I missed that one. Joe, sweetie, people in Iran do not in general speak Arabic. Muslim countries – not a monolith, full of internal conflicts in terms of ethnic groups, religious denominations, etc.

cloudiah
8 years ago

BTW, anyone who is new or newish here and enjoys a good troll should take a visit back in time to the glory days of Pell. Good times, good times.

Steele, perhaps you can recruit him to your little MRM think tank.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

Today in Steele’s unique version of English = “think tank” now means “Google group where people yack about how evil feminists are”.

Myoo
Myoo
8 years ago

However, you’re wrong in implying that demographics doesn’t influence it. And feminism influences demographics.

And what exactly do you propose be done about that, force people to have children? There’s a word for that and it’s called rape.
Honestly if the choice is either:
a) no rights for women, including but not limited to state-sponsored rape.
or
b) a hypothetical far-fetched world war scenario that would somehow end with all of the patriarchal nations taking over the world and losing rights for women.

I’m gonna have to go with b) here.

Gametime
Gametime
8 years ago

What baffles me most about Pell is that after three or four visits here, he still hasn’t figured out how to use quotation marks. The rambling misogyny, the casual racism and classism, the absurd and desperate posturing, the hilariously contrived lies about how he’s totes successful, that’s all par for the MRA course, but not knowing how quotes work? The mind boggles.

Ugh
Ugh
8 years ago

@Cassandrasays

The term “one child policy” was actually coined by Western journalists. China’s actual family limitation laws are a lot more complex. The number of kids you can have eithout fines depends on the population of your area as well as your ethnic classification. Religious minorities and remote populations often have no family size limit, while urban Han are limited to one or two.

Around 2000, the government noticed that their population was decreasing and put forward a bunch of new exeptions. Since then, their population has been basically stable.

The First Joe
The First Joe
8 years ago

@Ugh Yeah, keep telling yourself that comforting propaganda re. the LCP, just pray you don’t find yourself at the tender mercies of its process.

Iranians are also Mu5lim. Mu5lims speak Arabic as well as their native language if it’s not Arabic, because it’s the sacred language of their prophet. Farsi is not widely spoken outside Iran, Arabic is.

Ok, so China’s population is no linger booming. Good catch. Instead they ONLY make up over one seventh of all humans on Earth. They are also the current embodiment of the longest standing continuous civilization on the planet (as in about 6,000 years).
Clearly, as you imply, a people of no global consequence. /sarcasm

Chinese people are people, and they are more likely to do what people have been doing in repeated patterns throughout history. And if you don’t think that a large population of young single men can have a destabilising effect on a society’s politics, and if you didn’t know that past such societies dealt with that by using them in expansionist policies /wars (Normans, British Empire) then you don’t know human history.

Aaaand look! Here’s Bill Gates talking about death panels! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NrJBY2l1MQQ

The questions you need to ask yourself are: was Western hegemony a good thing? Or a bad thing? Will e.g. Chinese hegemony be better or worse?

Steele
Steele
8 years ago

At this point, I think the term “gaslighting” is on par with “mansplaining” in its meaninglessness. Just another empty term used to shame, shut down, and silence men. Disgraceful.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

That’s what I meant about exceptions. There’s never been a universal one child policy, but population growth was under replacement rate because of government policies for a while. Even now, it could hardly be described as “booming”.

Viscaria
Viscaria
8 years ago

Men aren’t the only people who gaslight o_O

cloudiah
8 years ago

Mu5lim? Mu5lim????

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

Islam 5.0? I’m so confused – it’s not like the 5 and S keys are even close to each other.

His attempt to wriggle out of admitting that he didn’t know that Arabic is not the common language of Iran was funny though.

cloudiah
8 years ago

I wonder if Farsi is related to Cryillic? 🙂

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

Or maybe that was meant to be a sinister “they’ll convert you, they will!” hint.

The First Joe
The First Joe
8 years ago

@Cassandra – Chinese people don’t need to be “cartoonishly evil” they just need to be people, for the predictions above to come from a valid basis.
Lol! that you immediately defeat your point with your own anecdote.
Also a lot of the points I made are already happening (see build up of Chinese Navy etc.)

@Myoo – Hell, NO! I don’t propose doing anything at all about the demographic decline of the West! NOR propose forcing women into anything! No way!

*I* intend to adapt and enjoy the decline, as far as I possibly can!

Ok – you’ve taken your pick and chosen feminism even temporarily, even at cost of Western hegemony. I like your intellectual honesty. *applauds*

@Ugh – you said:
“…the projected growth rate of the world Islamic population over the next 20 years is 1.5% per year, while the world population growth rate is predicted to be 1.8% a year. …”
Of course, almost none of that net population growth will be in the West, home of feminism.

But hey, don’t listen to me! What do I know? You must right, eh? 😛

G’night!

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

“*I* intend to adapt and enjoy the decline, as far as I possibly can!”

Trust me, honey, we know that you very much enjoy the idea of watching feminism die, and the, um, new and exciting opportunities that might offer you.

The First Joe
The First Joe
8 years ago

I knew about Farsi already, obviously, but why learn one language that will only allow you to communicate with the inhabitants of one country when you can learn another that will allow you to communicate with the inhabitants* of the whole region (albeit some of them in their second language) see also Portugese vs. Spanish.

(*certainly the educated business people you’ll need to get work from)

@cloudiah – webbots look for certain combinations of search terms. You will also notice that I carefully avoid all rhetorical uses of the word that is the opposite of imp lode for instance.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
8 years ago

I rate that flounce at 4/10, but then again, I don’t exist. I’ll take zie/zir over they, fuck you very much.

Maybe you could debate with NWO on whether androgyny is a thing though? You just want to force pronouns on me, he swears I don’t exist.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
8 years ago

3/10, point deduction for failure to stick the landing

The First Joe
The First Joe
8 years ago

Have your “zie” I don’t want to argue about it anymore!

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
8 years ago

“@cloudiah – webbots look for certain combinations of search terms. You will also notice that I carefully avoid all rhetorical uses of the word that is the opposite of imp lode for instance.”

Oh gods do I love toying with the DHS webbot, and it’s been awhile now since I mentioned that one of my favorite video games involves decapitating zombie Nazis (hint Joe, Nazi is also on that search list, as is booming, I would assume — the bot doesn’t know that you were discussing population booms)

Ugh
Ugh
8 years ago

@TheFirstJoe

Doubling down on the Arab thing eh? Maybe you should actually, you know, Google this shit. Iran hyas 5 million Arabic speakers, out of 75 million people.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arab_world

Also, you still haven’t responded to how Iran’s population is “booming,” with a birth rate lower than the USA’s.

Haha you know that, prior to WWI, at the absolute height of Britain’s power, the male and female populations were about equal. right? http://www.ons.gov.uk/ons/interactive/vp1-story-of-the-census/index.html. Same goes for most of their history. When was this sudden spike of Norman/British single men?

“You don’t know history.” I don’t know the history in your head, in which Orwell was anti-Marxist, the draft was renamed selective service in the 80s and all Muslims speak Arabic, no. I do know a fair bit of actual history though.

Haha a video that looks dubbed on the Blaze. *shrugs* Have a source that isn’t on a website owned by Glenn Beck?

I don’t really think it will be either. The Chinese auto industry posted losses this year, and their provincial dect crises are getting out of hand. Theyu’re not as strong as people think they are, and are very poorly set up for any quaternanry economic progress.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
8 years ago

Oh good, Joe’s conceded that I can pick my own pronoun, am I supposed to feel like we’ve forced you to submit or something? And weren’t you going to bed a moment ago?

cloudiah
8 years ago

@Argenti, Please have an anti-oppressive baby animal, on me. Consider it a belated birthday present.

@1Joe,

You will also notice that I carefully avoid all rhetorical uses of the word that is the opposite of imp lode for instance.

It’s terrible how many men died, mining for imps.

Ugh
Ugh
8 years ago

@Joe

Of course, almost none of that net population growth will be in the West, home of feminism.

USA population growth: 2.1 births per woman. China: 1.6. Iran: 1.7.

Myoo
Myoo
8 years ago

Of course, almost none of that net population growth will be in the West, home of feminism.

What the fuck do I care if population grows more in some vaguely defined “East”, it’s not a competition, you know. And immigration is a good way to counter an ageing population, so if western countries are so worried about that, thy can just provide incentives for immigrants to settle there.

Also, there is feminism in Iran, China and India, dude, for several decades at least. If you think that women’s rights is a west only phenomenon, you are wrong once more.

Falconer
Falconer
8 years ago

Damn, you guys are good. Checked the IP, and it’s very similar to that of dear old Pell/Jane. Which is good enough for me. Plonked.

Aw, and I bought her a present.

Falconer
Falconer
8 years ago

Why is Iosephus I scared of drawing the attentions of webbots?

MUSLIM!
MUSLIM!
MUSLIM!

captainbathrobe
captainbathrobe
8 years ago

@Jean,

The SF Bay Area is Podunk now? Who knew?

FWIW, I’ve been to South Africa. You were talking about New York City, where there aren’t too many people, to my knowledge, who like being called “colored,” not to mention “Coloured.” You’re welcome to test that theory at any time, however.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
8 years ago

cloudiah — thank you, Joe is just the shit icing on my shitty day, I needed a baby animal.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

BTW, for some reason I’m having a hard time posting comments in this thread, so if the same one comes through multiple times I apologize.

Sharculese
8 years ago

At this point, I think the term “gaslighting” is on par with “mansplaining” in its meaninglessness. Just another empty term used to shame, shut down, and silence men. Disgraceful.

WAAAAAAAH, THEY TWEAKIN’ MAH PRIVILEGE

Polliwog
Polliwog
8 years ago

Aw, man, I was coming back to see if Jean had gotten around to calling me “Golliwog” yet after I poked him last, and you all beat me to it. And here I thought I was smart or something. :-p