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MarkyMark: “How blatantly MATRIARCHAL TV has gotten.”

Our dear old friend MarkyMark (not the actor/singer)  is back with more of his unique perspective on contemporary popular culture, which has apparently gotten way too friendly to the ladies. Here’s Marky:

[H]ow blatantly MATRIARCHAL TV has gotten.  I was watching the NASCAR race at Loudon, NH today … when the predictable commercials and TV show promos came on.  There was one show being promoted that, as far as I could tell, had all FEMALE characters; they were all women!  There were no main, male characters I could see in the promo.  The show was called Political Animals, and it’s on the USA Network.

Here’s an official promo picture for Political Animals.

I think Marky may need to get new glasses.

But no matter; Marky has seen all he needs to have an opinion.

When I saw the promo for it during the commercial break for my race, I was like wow, why would I even want to watch that crap?  They have some old crones starring it, one of whom is Sigourney Weaver.  Even when she was younger and more attractive, I couldn’t stand her; she was a bitch back in the day, and she’s a bitch now.  Only now that she’s an old crone, she’s even more, er, ‘charming’ than she was back when she starred in Working Girl, circa 1989.

Um, you do realize that in Working Girl she was playing a character? A character that wasn’t supposed to be charming?

Marky begins to reminisce about the good old days, before television was taken over by the Amazonian warriors of the Matriarchy.

Back in the day, USA Network had some unique shows on; they had stuff on that no one else had, which made them worth watching.  One of my favorites was Silk Stalkings, which I think originally ran on CBS, but I can’t be sure; other than sporting events, I haven’t watched network TV like CBS in ages.  Another favorite show of mine on USA Network was Pacific Blue, which was about bike cops in Santa Monica, California.  …

Then, over the years, USA Network changed; they no longer had the unique fare that had set them apart back in the 1990s. …

After seeing the promos for the new shows this fall, I don’t know; I don’t know that I’m missing anything by not having a TV at all.  I had a TV, but I gave it to Ma because I never USED the damn thing!  The things that I really want to see are available online, such as the racing.  If I want to watch QUALITY TV programs, then I can go to Hulu.com; that site has the old, classic TV shows that were, unlike today’s trash, actually worth watching.  I watched a couple of seasons of Adam-12 & Emergency! on that site-good, uplifting programming that showed men being men.  I think I might be better off getting a bike or scooter with my extra cash.  Either that, or I could start taking trips to Central & South America to meet some nice, hot women down there. 

Oh, dear.

In closing, TV, from the looks of it, has gone totally matriarchal.  They don’t even make a pretense of catering to men anymore-none!  Since there’s nothing for me to watch on there, why get a TV, let alone a cable or satellite hookup for the damn thing?!  Seriously, why bother watching it?  The races are increasingly available online; sites like Hulu & Netflix carry TV shows and movies.  To see things that appeal to me, I don’t need a TV.  No wonder why TV and the rest of the old media are dying!  Until next time…

Watching Adam-12 on your computer while muttering bitterly under your breath about the evil that is Sigourney Weaver – MGTOW activism at its finest!

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badandfierce
8 years ago

There was a time I’d have bought Lifetime as misandrist TV, in a schlocky and unexamined way depending on the knight/beast dichotomy, but now it seems to be mostly reality shows and syndicated crowd-pleasers, most of which are full of the kind of gender policing that you’d think would please the MRA types. (Though I guess they briefly had Blood Ties, and we all know a female lead who does heroic things is misandry.)

Cliff Pervocracy
8 years ago

Ya know like how all sitcoms the wife is always better in everyway than buffoonboy dad. Hell, even the 8 year old daughter outwits doofusdad and destroys her brainless brother regularly.

I’m so tired of this getting held up as “misandry.” It’s not like the “doofus” males ever suffer for their doofery–in fact, they’re the ones who get to have most of the wacky adventures. Meanwhile the women get to sigh and shake their heads and clean up for then.

Maybe the women come off more sensible, but only in the sense of “you’re sensible so you’ll have to pick up his slack your whole life.”

Police/dectective drama’s abound. At besy ya might have one alpha guy at the top, but other than that, the women logic, compassion, courage and honor demolishes the mookmen. It’s quite spectacular watching those ladettes running down 250lb thugs while wearing high heels. After which they toss around the bad man like a rag doll.

Are you, um, totally sure that’s something you watched and not a dream you had or something?

Freitag
Freitag
8 years ago

Yeah NWO, I was watching a rerun of Criminal Minds the other night and thinking how gynocentric it is. I mean, the boss is a man, the next-in-charge is a man, the next-next-next in charge is a man, the resident genius is a man…total misandry all the way.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

Please don’t make me imagine what Slavey’s dreams must be like.

Freitag
Freitag
8 years ago

Criminal Minds being a detective show, I should have added. Where they show a lot of female serial killers as well as male ones, which makes it even more gynocentric because woman=bad as well as men=bad and men=good and women=good. Misandry all the way.

pillowinhell
8 years ago

Tell us more NWO!

I mean, all those detective stories that feature women being raped, usually viciously and often murdered. I love watching the usually stare of fright, attempt to flee, fall and twist ankle before the murdered sweeps in for the kill. Yeah… All those stories on TV about women being vicimized, that’s the central plot. And the more horrific and graphic the details the better.

It must be terrible watching an occassional woman who can actually defend herself, or save someone elses life.

Best scene ever? The one where the woman puched the crap outta the guy in some sort of parking garage.

Karalora
Karalora
8 years ago

It’s quite spectacular watching those ladettes running down 250lb thugs while wearing high heels.

Yeah, I used to watch Sailor Moon too, but I got bored with the formulaic nature of the episode and season plots.

They just jibber jabber on with their fake emotion expressions, all of them acting so informed and intelligent.

Holy crap, guys, Owly just told me that people on TV are acting! It’s not 100% real!

Seriously, dude, how do you, personally, tell the difference between someone on TV who really is intelligent and informed and one who is merely acting that way?

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

Should we break it to Slavey that reality TV is not actually real?

Cliff Pervocracy
8 years ago

CassandraSays – My dad worked on a “strangers confined to a house” reality show and I can confirm that it is sorta real. Ish. I mean the people really do live in the house. They get coached a lot by the producers though.

I worked on an HGTV “home makeover” show and it was hella fake. We shot the “picking out the materials with the quirky experts” segments months after the house had already been made over by an unquirky general contractor.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

@ Cliff

I’m thinking that even things like “can we shoot that again from an angle where the camera can actually see you?” would shock and outrage Slavey. At this point I’m not certain that he knows that news broadcasts and sitcoms are not the same thing, much less that news broadcasts are produced and this is not a terrible thing because do you really want to watch some person just randomly babbling?

Cliff Pervocracy
8 years ago

It’s not really a secret that newscasters use teleprompters.

Actually it would be pretty terrible if they didn’t, because I don’t think I want to hear ad-libbed news.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

Teleprompters are part of the gynocratic conspiracy to erode men’s status by depriving them of their ability to improvise in a manly way.

creativewritingstudent
creativewritingstudent
8 years ago

Actually it would be pretty terrible if they didn’t, because I don’t think I want to hear ad-libbed news.

“Good evening, this is the, um, six o’clock news. Tonight, … uh, something about the economy?”
*offscreen* “The economy is doing well!”
“Ah, yes, the economy is doing well. Also, US President Obama met the Queen today, and it was very nice. They, uh, got along very well. Yeah… um. Also, protests about a cricket pitch in Hampshire turned violent today, due to heat and overcrowding.
And finally, an African Grey parrot who is an expert on cheeses!”
*offscreen* “… The parrot was yesterday…”
*sotto voce* “Oh. So what was today’s fluff piece?”
*offscreen* “The milk theives!”
“Oh, yes, a small community is Dorset was plagued by a gang of milk theives, who steal from residents’ doorsteps.”

(Based on stuff from BBC national and regional news, mostly made up, apart from the bit about the doorstep milk theives. That came from a Neighbourhood Watch thing, btw.)

Cliff Pervocracy
8 years ago

Actually, given NWO’s approach to epistemology (anything proven by any kind of evidence or authority is a government lie, so the only facts you can trust are the ones you make up by guessing), ad-libbed news might be the logical conclusion.

Leeloo Dallas Multipass

The USA network in the nineties had ‘Duckman’, which portrayed cartoon duck men as stupid and perverted in a shameful display of mismallardy, ‘Weird Science’, which showed men as helpless buffoons and women as omnipotent computer genies, and pro wrestling, which was all about men hitting each other, no doubt because some woman made them do it.

yourbirdcansing88
yourbirdcansing88
8 years ago

Oh, boo freakin’ hoo, Marky can’t find anything to watch on television anymore, so obviously those damn feminists must be personally trying to make life miserable for him (and all other men, who OF COURSE have all the same taste in television that Marky does, unless they’re some kind of sissies/weirdoes/”manginas”). Naturally it doesn’t have ANYTHING WHATSOEVER to do with the fact that Marky is a ridiculously closed-minded individual, HEAVENS NO!

ShadetheDruid
ShadetheDruid
8 years ago

I’m wondering if Owly even owns a tv, considering how he sees everything on it as hypermisandry.

speedlines
speedlines
8 years ago

Of course Owly owns a TV. How else would he see all the stuff that turns him on makes him so angry?

speedlines
speedlines
8 years ago

huh, there was supposed to be a strikethrough there. HTML fail, sorry.

thebionicmommy
thebionicmommy
8 years ago

Movies are just more of the same. The news is nothing but a henhouse of racheal maddow wannabees. They just jibber jabber on with their fake emotion expressions, all of them acting so informed and intelligent.

There’s an old misogynist classic, that when a group of women talk, it’s just like a brood of hens clucking. Why should anyone listen to what they say, when of course women only care about superficial girly stuff?

I worked on an HGTV “home makeover” show and it was hella fake. We shot the “picking out the materials with the quirky experts” segments months after the house had already been made over by an unquirky general contractor.

The show Extreme Home Makeover is very staged, too. The families were coached by Ty Pennington. They had to keep their kids home from school and wait by the door, to pretend to be surprised when he came to their yard with his megaphone. They also had to stage shots of people doing work, and even redo shots that didn’t come across as natural. That being said, they still gave seven houses to very deserving families that had lost everything, so it was all for a good cause.

Sharculese
8 years ago

@cliff

I’m so tired of this getting held up as “misandry.” It’s not like the “doofus” males ever suffer for their doofery–in fact, they’re the ones who get to have most of the wacky adventures. Meanwhile the women get to sigh and shake their heads and clean up for then.

the frank grimes episode of the simpsons skewered that idea so perfectly

Sharculese
8 years ago

Movies are just more of the same. The news is nothing but a henhouse of racheal maddow wannabees. They just jibber jabber on with their fake emotion expressions, all of them acting so informed and intelligent. Just slap some pretty girl in a chair and have her yammer and it’s gospel. Don’t expect any respite from the standard fare during adverts. The deification of women is relentless, the goddess movement runs full steam 24/7.

i had no idea rachel maddow was on the disney channel now!

Shadow
Shadow
8 years ago

i had no idea rachel maddow was on the disney channel now!

It’s all part of the goddess movement!!

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
8 years ago

“huh, there was supposed to be a strikethrough there. HTML fail, sorry.”

<del>del</del> (idk if that’s what you meant by html fail, but if so, there’s the fix)

Snowy
Snowy
8 years ago

Signed! Misandry must be stopped!

princessbonbon
8 years ago

I am impressed* that it got Tommy Wisesu’s signature. I mean that guy is like all famous for having the worst best movie made about an MRA’s struggle with them EBIL women.

*not really.

thebionicmommy
thebionicmommy
8 years ago

I’ve signed it. Now I’ve done my part to change the world for the better.

Shaenon
8 years ago

I’m not going to reprint the entire Book of Learnin’ right now, but here’s a special media pull-out section highlighting the entertainment available on NWO’s planet:

Arts and Entertainment

The Iliad is the story of how Queen Helen of Troy ordered two armies to fight over her. It is based on a true story.

The classical Greek play The Bacchae is a celebration of the roving lesbian gang that murdered the musician Orpheus. It is based on a true story.

The musical Chicago is a polemic about how men should be shot to death. It was written by a female college student in 2010.

All horror movies are about a pretty girl being stalked and assaulted by an evil man. In the end, she kills him and walks away alive.

Prime-time TV shows have the same plot as horror movies, except that the pretty girl is assisted by an all-female investigative team, with a single man in charge. At the end of every episode, the victim sits in a one-way mirrored room, watching the chained-up man with a smug look on her face. Then one of the women from the investigative team squeezes her arm.

Shows on the Disney Channel consist of underage girls in sexy outfits hitting boys while the boys cower before them.

Journalism

Female journalists only write articles about how men are bad.

All TV newscasters are women, and they all look just like Rachel Maddow.

Suicides are never reported in the media unless it’s a gay man, in which case it’s treated as a national tragedy.

Tulgey Logger
Tulgey Logger
8 years ago

Thank you for reminding me of Owly’s take on Chicago. Had a good laugh, would laugh again 8/10.

speedlines
speedlines
8 years ago

Wait, I thought classical Greek literature was Jewish propaganda?

katz
8 years ago

Can someone please direct me to the “all Rachel Maddow, all the time” TV station?

AliasC
AliasC
8 years ago

@katz:

The one in my brain is pretty Rachel-focused. 😀

princesssunnyburn
8 years ago

Seriously. I’d watch the hell out of a 24 hour Rachel Maddow news station.

Ithiliana
8 years ago

It suddenly dawned on me that one possible reason for the OMG MATRIARCHY is that Weaver is so prominently featured in the previews for that show (center space in the banner above)–she’s clearly the matriarch of the political family–and she’s “OLD”–AKA not twenty something–and OMG A WOMAN ON TV WHO IS NOT THERE FOR T&A!!!!! MATRIARCHY.

HA.

It’s wonderful to see a growing number of actors who are NOT twenty-something or trying to look it getting major roles (I’m thinking Glenn Close, Meryl Streep, Judi Dench, Helen Mirren, Sigourney Weaver) (still very white though, sigh).

aworldanonymous
8 years ago

Cheers to whoever did the Tommy Wiseau signature on the petition.

Jessay (@jessay)
8 years ago

Hahaha for real. When your sex can be portrayed as a bumbling idiot, but still be the hero of the show with a hot wife and loving family, what exactly is there to complain about? You know you would never see the reverse, and if you did, there’d be legions of people against the female character.

Jessay (@jessay)
8 years ago

OMG, Ithiliana, all these tv providers and companies are having obnoxious tiffs which are pissing me off. I have Dish Network and it’s pulled two of my favorite channels which are the specific reason we’re paying for the package we have, ifc and amc. I’M NOT PAYING TO NOT WATCH WALKING DEAD THIS FALL! SCREW YOU DISH NETWORK! I’m so annoyed that all these people are collectively screwing over their customers and fans.

Arielle Shander
8 years ago

Perhaps now he will know what it’s like to have one’s own sex/gender not properly represented, despite the fact that that they’re half of the world’s population. As a woman who has seen plenty of shows and movies with a male-majority cast with some “token females,” I have no sympathy for his bullshit.

Veronica K. B. (@VeronicaInPink)

MarkyMark seems to be unaware of the minimal criteria of the Bechdel test and how few movies actually pass it.

Is there a similar test adapted for TV series?

blitzgal
8 years ago

I’M NOT PAYING TO NOT WATCH WALKING DEAD THIS FALL! SCREW YOU DISH NETWORK! I’m so annoyed that all these people are collectively screwing over their customers and fans.

I hear that. My only option at this point is dropping cable completely. All of the providers are screwing over their customers in their pissing matches with the networks. I wish I could just pay the fifteen bucks a month for HBO Go. Dish is already making me miss Breaking Bad. I hear that “experts” say that AMC should be back by October for Walking Dead.

Christine Noble
8 years ago

“Adam-12” and “Emergency?” Seriously? I am old enough to remember those shows and they were crappy, poorly thought out procedural type shows before there were crappy, poorly thought out procedural shows. They were entertaining in the way a field trip was to a kindergartener but that is about it.

Summer
Summer
8 years ago

@ Veronica

Hi!

I think the Bechdel test can be applied to most TV shows as it is, and it is kinda depressing. Even in shows that pass it in overall, with more than one significant female character, there are not so many episodes in which they are depicted talking about something that is not a man.

I have the impression that, in some shows writers are aware of the existence of the test, and are trying to shoehorn conversations between female characters. I followed Breaking Bad, and in the first season there was a very short story arc between the female lead (Skyler), and her sister. It lasted three or four episodes, and, after that, not a single episode has passed the Bechdel test.

Howard Bannister
8 years ago

I think with the TV version of the Bechdel test you have two layers; layer one is the episode-of-the-day, layer 2 is what you have for permanent cast.

Castle, as I said before, alternately stokes me up and breaks my heart. It does a work of deconstruction on a lot of gender tropes. Female lead, male lead. It’s good stuff.

There’s evem multiple female permanent cast! (Who rarely talk to each other except about men….yeah)

So a show with one female member in the permanent cast automatically gets the ol` stinkeye from me. (the Mentalist. Psych. (ish? female police commish is around occasionally, but is more like an occasional guest star) Even though episodes regularly break past the Bechdel test. (look, she questioned a female suspect–pass!!! Only the female suspect lasted about ten seconds) I’m sure a lot of TV shows just popped into your head)

Make sense?

Veronica K. B. (@VeronicaInPink)

@Summer

Of course you can apply the Bechdel test to TV shows, but say if you apply it to the whole series over several years they are bound to pass it. Which is why I thought it would be nice with a TV-show adaptation of the test 🙂

The movie version goes like:
1. It has to have at least two [named] women in it
2. Who talk to each other
3. About something besides a man

The TV version could be something like:
1. It has to have at least two female main characters, not just girlfriends/wives of male main characters.
2. In meaningful roles. I.e. not just sexualised eye-candy characters in “dresses and heels”.
3. Who interact in most episodes of the series.

pecunium
pecunium
8 years ago

I think, all things being equal, that Emergency! and Adam-12 did a pretty good job of being procedural shows. I think both managed to hold up well, in part because they aren’t trying to be out of their times.

So they provide a small sense of slice of life (and Emergency! was a game changer in a lot of ways, because the paramedic/EMT system we take for granted is, in a large part, the result of that show. People in the rest of the country wanted what they saw on television).

It’s a lot harder to watch “Chico and the Man”, or “Welcome Back Kotter” or “Murder She Wrote”, than those. Things like “The Mod Sqaud” or, “Charlies Angels” or “Buck Rodgers” are almost impossible to watch anymore.

BlackBloc
BlackBloc
8 years ago

>>>I’d watch the hell out of a 24 hour Rachel Maddow news station.

“It is 3 am and this is the 64th straight hour of the Maddow 24/7 show. Tonight we have a one hour story on which brand of coffee and amphetamines we found to be most efficient, tested by yours truly. But first, some advertisement so I can catch a 5 minutes micro-nap.”

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
8 years ago

Re: applying the Bechdel test to TV — thoughts on shows that have a standard cast of 2?

I’m thinking Doctor Who here, which generally passes, but only if having his female companion talking to a one-episode female character counts — I’m not sure how to apply it to shows with a tiny regular cast, and one-episode characters being the standard. (And having a friend of a friend, a man of color, ask “why is she black?” about Martha…yeah, I think Doctor Who’s ahead of the curve [my answer was about how she ended up his companion, because wtf do you say to that?])