This lovely poster, meant as a sarcastic response to this “10 Top Tips to End Rape” poster, has gotten 759 upvotes in the Men’s Rights subreddit. Well, 759 net upvotes. It’s actually gotten more than 1200 upvotes, and 450 downvotes. Because, clearly, trying to stop the small percentage of rape accusations that are false is totally so much more important than trying to stop rape itself. Mocking rape prevention programs and promoting a culture in which women (and men, and genderqueer people) are afraid to come forward with real stories of rape for fear of being harassed and ridiculed is really the only decent thing to do. Plus: Lulz!
Here one commenter explains the “logic” behind the poster:
The discussion is, well, what you’d expect from r/mensrights. But don’t worry: some people have stepped up to critique the poster.
That’s right, solidwhetstone, your rapey poster wasn’t rapey enough!
—
There is some
here.
I liked the one on another MRA site (the Spearhead maybe?) that was all “to avoid false rape accusations, get explicit consent, and if she’s drunk or seems uncertain, it’s not worth the risk!”
Now that’s keeping men safe!
Oh my god, it’s like the mrm are the annoying kids who follow you around all day playing shadow.
When people say shit like this, why do they then wonder why very few people will consent to have sex with them?
When you talk like a rape apologist, it makes alarm bells go off because chances are, if you think that NOTHING you do could ever be rape, you probably HAVE raped someone at some point, and you just DID NOT CARE.
I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t have sex with someone who advocated for these things because it not only normalizes dangerous rapists, but encourages rapist behavior as “normal sex.”
*Barf*
11. If a man ever forwards you this list with “LOL for truth!” attached, make sure that you are never alone in a room with him.
12. Warn your friends never to be alone with him either.
10 top tips to stop false rape accusations, because all accusations of rape are obviously false.
“Accusing a man of rape means he could go to jail for a long time”
I feel like a broken record here, but how many high profile cases in recent memory have actually resulted in a conviction/sentence/ruination of public life/vigilatism? I mean, I’m trying to think up some, but I’m getting Julian Assange, Ben Roethlisberger, the case of the one poor girl in Texas, Kobe Bryant. Like, even supposing their warped reality isn’t so… warped. Nothing really happened to those guys.
But then it occurs to me that if you think false rape accusations are A Thing In The World worth making such a deal out of, then you probably think nothing you could ever do would be rape, since you’d never leap out of the dark and so on and so forth. The bar is set so ridiculously high that it doesn’t even matter.
I know I point this out every time, but it amazes me how their frame of mind around false rape accusations is that they can only happen after you have sex with someone.
1,4,6 and 8 on the list are explicit about it, and most of the others assume, that false rape narratives aren’t something women just make up, but specifically things women make up after having sex they regretted.
Which is, coincidentally, what most rapists tell themselves the next morning.
I say high profile above cause i think it’s obvious that I wouldn’t hear much of the low-profile ones.
I’m confused by point 7. Authorities in general tell me to carry a whistle and to blow it if I’m about to be raped. The MRAs are telling me to carry a whistle and to blow it if I think I’m going to falsely accuse someone of rape. So…how will the police, who will presumably arrive post-haste after hearing my whistle, know if I’m about to falsely accuse a guy of rape or I was actually about to have been raped? Guess they just have to let the guy (whoever he is) go just in case I was about to be an evil wimminz. (Yeah, I get that it’s a really poor play on the “if you think you’re going to rape someone, blow your whistle” thing. It just kind of amuses me that they seem to completely miss where that idea comes from).
I’m getting too far into my projection here, maybe, but I’m thinking: [TW FOR DETAILS]
Say I raped a person. I didn’t jump out of the bushes or hold a gun to their head, but I did hold them down and keep groping them until they stopped resisting. And I was able to justify it to myself in my head that this was just “aggressively initiating,” which chicks dig, and because they eventually stopped fighting, that was the point where they started liking it and being glad I’d pushed them to get into it.
If they were drunk off their ass then there’d probably be even less resistance, and even more room for me to wishful-think that we’re just acting out a romantic bodice-ripper “no, no, yes” moment.
So in the morning, when the cops arrived at my door, it would be very easy for me to think–and even think sort of honestly–that this must be because she regretted the sex.
I think anything short of actually calling the cops during the rape can be mentally filed under “she just regretted it later” if you’re enough of a fucking piece of shit rape apologist.
@ Cliff
I suspect that there are a mixture of somewhat clueless guys indulging in wishful thinking and self-justifying lies (what you described), and guys who know full well that they raped someone but also know how easy it is to get the culture as a whole to think women lie about rape. I also think that the guys who produce things like this poster are in group # 2.
@ Cliff: I’m betting that to these guys, even if you called the cops during the rape, you’re just in the midst of regretting it. Or you’re imagining the trouble you’d be in from your dad (wtf? my dad never asked/didn’t want to know/ just wanted us to avoid consequences and be safe). Or you think he’s ugly already. Or something.
They couldn’t even get a picture of a man shouting to properly match the original poster? Does the MRM fail at everything?
98% of rape prevention tips are focused on what women need to do to avoid being raped. The original poster is the only one I’ve ever seen that mentions the possibility that maybe we should also focus on the rapist. So take heart, MRAs. Most “Rape Prevention Tip” lists are still filled with things like, “Don’t wear your hair in a ponytail,” and “Don’t wear a skirt.”
This is so unlikely and oddly specific–is the OP being false-rape-accused by children?
The guy in the photo is Brian Banks.
False rape allegations is a tiny problem in our society. MRAs are just making a mountain out of a mole hill.
@blitzgal But naturally, BROs continue to confuse the exception for the rule and whine about the 2% that say “don’t rape anybody,” and act like giving women practical tips (practical for the stereotype world in their heads, mostly) on avoiding assault is just the newest fucking thing on the planet.
Worth noting that Brian Banks did not have sex with a drunk girl or an alpha-hunting girl who “regretted it later.” She (apparently) just straight up made up the story.
It’s almost eerie how rarely that appears in MRA narratives.
Holy crap Cliff, who was that kid’s lawyer who told him to plead “no contest” to rape/kidnapping charges!?
You know, there is a definite issue with race in this country in that people of color are routinely treated differently and more harshly than white defendants. But the MRM never seem to pick up on that side of any story. They only focus on how women are evil.
The lack of hyphenation in there is telling.
Last night, unfortunately, I was reading the Christian Mens Defense Network. Brent is a bitter divorced guy due to adultery on his wife’s part, and probably domestic violence on his part, without children & a participant on the Freak Show that is Dalrock. There is a woman calling herself Sunshine Mary leaving comments. It links to her blog which has the word dragon in it. Apparently she stopped her doctorate to become a homeschooling Quiverfull mother. So…her daughters will not have the opportunity for a university education. She really makes me sick. Anyway, in the comments she wrote that rape is not the worst thing that can happen to a girl or woman. And that stranger rape is very rare. It’s just disgusting & of course there were other comments as well. She uses the word Rape in quotation marks. What an evil, misguided bitch. I am so angry…..
@Newbie:
“Anyway, in the comments she wrote that rape is not the worst thing that can happen to a girl or woman. And that stranger rape is very rare. It’s just disgusting & of course there were other comments as well.”
I will say that rape isn’t the worst thing I can think of to happen to a woman but it sure as hell ranks up there and anyone who tries to downplay it as no big deal is living outside of reality.
I don’t find it condescending, just your typical MRA jackassery that I will disregard after reading this post.
And I would like to add to Cassandra’s comment:
13. If you know someone who posts regularly in r/mensrights, cut contact and warn your friends
Cliff:
Which — inb4 trolls — we all agree is wrong*. And which indeed MRAs almost never mention except when it’s rhetorically convenient for them to pretend that’s what they meant the whole time.
*There, now no one can say we’re not condemning it. Where’s that list from Marc Faletti of things we all condemn?